A.N. – This story was inspired by my Shep getting better armor and me bitching about it because the old armor was my favorite color, but then I thought my Shep looked kind of sexy in the new armor, so I let it go. These first three chapters are set in Mass Effect 1 and are meant to go together, after that, it'll be in kind of random order. Bioware owns all characters, I just take them out to play once in a while.

Armor

Shepard was fidgeting with her armor…again. Kaidan noticed that she'd been fretting over her armor a lot lately, ever since her much beloved Hahne-Kedar Mantis armor had taken one hit too many and had to be scrapped. She'd requisitioned a new set, but the only thing available had been a dull maroon colored set of Ariake Technologies Mercenary armor. It did offer more protection than her previous set of armor, but it was clearly driving Shepard up the wall.

"Shepard, what's wrong," Kaidan sighed? "That's the third time today that you've adjusted your chest plate."

"Yeah, Commander," Ash chimed in. "You've been wiggling around like you've got ants in your armor."

"Very funny, you two." Shepard tried for a stern look, but just couldn't keep it up. "It's this armor," she said, tugging at her shoulder guard. "I liked my old Mantis armor much better. It fit me like a glove."

"Yes it did," Kaidan muttered under his breath.

"A silk glove that didn't itch in all the wrong places and rub me raw with every step I take. And it was my favorite color too," Shepard continued. "I think I look much better in green than this boring maroon."

Kaidan later blamed his slip of the tongue on intergalactic butterflies farting on the other side of the galaxy, but really, he had no explanation for what came out of his mouth next.

"Aw c'mon, Shepard. I think you look damn sexy in whatever you're wearing. Or not wearing, as was the case last night when I ran into you in the mess."

Shepard blushed a deep red, almost the same color as the hated armor. "I was hungry. I didn't think anyone would be up, and I couldn't find my robe." Then her brain processed just what he'd said. "Wait, did you seriously just say…?"

Kaidan clapped his hand over his mouth as the full import of his words hit him. "Oh my god, did I just say that out loud?"

"You sure did, LT," Ash giggled.

"Shepard, I swear, I didn't mean to…" Kaidan trailed off.

"Careful, Lieutenant." Shepard gave him the look, and Kaidan gulped. "Behave yourself or I'll make you wear that pretty white and pink Phoenix armor we picked up on Therum." Kaidan glanced at her and saw that despite trying to appear angry, she had a twinkle in her eyes that belied her severe expression.

"Anything but that, Commander," Kaidan gasped.

"If you two are done talking about my attire," Shepard said, rolling her eyes and adjusting her rack and straps once again, "maybe we could complete the mission we're here for. I'll take point."

She set off across the rugged terrain, Kaidan and Ash falling in behind her, and Kaidan couldn't help noticing the way the new armor fit her…backside.

She can't be wearing underwear under that getup, he thought to himself. That armor's way too tight. I don't know why Shepard doesn't like this new set. It fits her like it's painted on. God, she's got a nice ass! If she was wearing anything under her armor, I wonder what it would be.

Lost in his contemplation of Shepard's possible undergarment choices, Kaidan failed to notice that he'd slowed his pace. Ash turned around to see why he'd fallen behind, and noticed that his armor seemed to be fitting a little tighter around certain areas.

"Damn, LT," Ash laughed. "Your armor's looking a little…constricted these days. Maybe you need a bigger set. What do you say, Commander? We could get him a set of krogan armor."

Shepard pretended to consider this for a moment. "Nah. He doesn't have the shoulders for it," she laughed.

"What about quarian armor," Ash inquired?

"Doesn't have the hips for it," Shepard replied.

"How about turian armor," Ash asked?

"Doesn't have the…rear end for it," Shepard laughed.

"Hey," Kaidan said indignantly! "What's wrong with my rear end? I think I have a perfectly nice butt."

"Nothing, Lieutenant," the two women chorused. "Nothing at all."