Title: Tantrum
Disclaimer: Sorry, I still don't own them. Just borrowing them for a bit, as per usual.
T for tantrum and Regulus's need to seduce anything that walks.
Summary: It's Valentines Day, and after enduring a long song in an off key voice, Zander Maclelan has a repeat performance, Regulus surprises a lot of people, and popcorn is devoured.
/
Breakfast on Valentines Day is, as always, an entertaining affair. Sirius Black is entirely unsurprised when, right on time, someone climbs on the table and begins declaring their love to his brother, who sighs and continues the attack he's been waging on his bacon. This one is actually fairly impressive, if a little off key. Singing valentines on the table is a bit over the top, and Regulus values subtlety.
"Your eyes are like unto the depths of the oceans, your hair cascades like a waterfall, and I find it, attractive," the kid warbles dramatically. Dumbledore is positively beaming, and Sirius is entirely unsurprised by the expression. The man was always a little cracked. The teachers are already hastily evacuating the room.
Once the fourth year has managed to get to the fourth verse, which involves an intense group of lyrics about his talent as a seeker and how he looks in his Quidditch uniform, it's evident that Regulus's famously thin temper is about to snap. Remus nudges Sirius, and James passes them all popcorn. These early morning tantrums are really getting to be the highlight of his day. Peter is grinning like a psychopathic idiot, and a couple other Gryffindor's are transfiguring their food into popcorn as well. Watching these things are just so fun.
"Your nose-"
"Shut. Up."
The kid looks startled. "Uh…"
"Sit down, shut up, and get the Hell off the table," Regulus says in the kind of voice that can make dementors run away in terror of retribution. "Your song is appreciated, and I liked the bit where you went off about my hand, but couldn't this have waited until some time later?"
The kid hops off the table, smiles at him, and bows, apparently immune to Regulus Voice of Doom, an impressive feat to begin with. "It was a spur of the moment thing," he confesses. "Happy Valentines Day, Mr. Black."
Regulus looks at the kid with a good deal more interest, and everyone holds their breath as he considers him. Everyone's expecting Mt. Regulus to explode with the force of Krakatau, and turn the kid into Pompeii, never mind that they're in entirely different regions.
"Happy Valentines Day as well," he finally replies, and actually smiles. There's a collective jaw drop around the entire room, which had been expecting a huge outburst of the famous rage, as everyone gapes at the startled 4th year, who's now blushing a very pleased red.
Sirius and Remus exchange amazed looks, and look back at Regulus, who's sipping the juice in front of him and looking entirely too smug.
"Did someone drug him?" James mumbles to his best friend, eyes wide.
"Dunno," Sirius says blankly, amazed.
And then, of course, someone had to ruin it. "Did you just complement that little-"
No one even sees Regulus move, but once again, Zander Maclelan is learning about the wonders of flight as he soars across the room, and slams into the wall. Instantly, popcorn is back in hands, and Peter is grinning again.
"That's more like it," Remus says pleasantly, and everyone turns to look at Regulus, who's stood up, and is glowering at the Seventh year, who's whimpering quietly. Malfoy's glossy blonde head (which was in its normal effeminate braid) is even turned to look at the fourth year. Andromeda looks positively menacing, with her lips bared in a grin; she's made no small amount of noise about how much she hates the idiot.
"You," Regulus says with all the calm of a priest in a Southern Baptist Church, "Are an absolute IDIOT, Zander Maclelan. I have warned you and warned you, and I have kept myself barely in check or I assure you, you would be in several pieces on many different continents! No more!"
A butter knife sticks, quivering, in the stone between Zander's legs. He squeaks desperately, and scrambles upright.
A flick of a wand, and the guy is being pulled back towards the table. There's a quick glance up at Dumbledore, but he's just watching all of this with interest. More popcorn was quickly transfigured up.
Zander is pulled across the table on his stomach, and Regulus grabs his chin. "Perhaps you should think before you speak," he says almost sweetly. Sirius snickers as the boy is enough of an idiot to whimper- as if that would distract his brother.
"Should you ever insult another person, especially one with that much courage," Regulus says, looking up to glance at the 4th year, who'd ended up standing at the head of the Slytherin table, with a tiny smile, then back down to Zander, "I will happily remove your insides with a rusty butcher knife." The smile vanishes. "Are we clear?"
"P-perfectly," Zander whimpers.
Regulus smiles innocently at him, and releases him. Sliding off the bench, he walks over to the 4th year, flicks his scarf over his shoulder, and pulls him gently toward the door, the boy looking like he was going into shock.
As he passes the Griffindor table, Regulus glances at Sirius, smirks, and Sirius nods approvingly. Regulus may be something of a slut, but at least he's got good taste. The kid'll keep him on his toes.
The duo walk out the door, and Dumbledore smiles. "That," he announces to the world in general, "Was an excellent breakfast."
And he pops a piece of popcorn into his mouth, smiling.
/
An: Yay, it's done! *collapses* Yes, it's not as good as Temper was, but it was the best I could do. I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't, please let me down gently.