I recently became an aunt and I know the love of a parent is completely different. This is just some thoughts that I had running through my mind on my way back from my 1st visit.
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My special boy Noah,
The house is quiet, the waves are crashing outside and I can hear your breathing over the baby monitor. I've started this letter so many times and every time it takes me in a new direction. This might just sound like some drabble from your sleep deprived old man when you read this but know that everything in here is heartfelt and honest. Your uncle Danny has often called me emotionally stunted by my training with the Seals and your uncle Danny is a wise man, so who knows he might be right, but you've been with us for a month and I now feel the need to get this all down on paper. Today has been a busy day and you and your beautiful mom are finally down for the night. We witnessed your interpretation of the McGarret/Rollins stubborness today and boy do I see many battles ahead ! None of us are known for giving in easily but always know that our love for you is unconditional, no matter how stubborn you are. You will most likely be up and demanding attention again in a while so let me finish this so I can feed you while your mom gets a well deserved rest.
Danny always said that the love you feel for a child is different from any kind of love you will ever feel for anyone else. I didn't believe him then. My example of parental love was different from that which he has with Grace. From the moment they put you in my arms I knew what he was talking about and it's not something that can ever be explained no matter how poetic you are. It is the greatest love I have ever known and I hope with all my heart that it is a love that you will know one day. Your mom has given me two of the greatest gifts in my live. She has given me her heart to treasure and keep safe for always and she has given me you. Suddenly my life has more meaning and makes sense and the world has a beauty I never really saw. Who knew that something so small could turn your life on its axis.
When away on missions and seeing my fellow comrades fall I have often come home unsure of myself and why we were doing what we were doing and what our role was. Never think that war is a game and that soldiers take another life without thinking if it is the right thing to do. Every life is sacred and if there is any alternative try that first.
Now I know why we did it and it has become so clear. I had to go out there and do what I can to protect our country, to make it a safer place for you and Grace and the baby Kono is expecting. So that you can know the freedom of walking around and playing outside without having to worry about anything. That is what grown ups are there for. To do the worrying for you.
Your life will be exciting and filled with so many things to see and explore. So many things to learn, places to see and mistakes to make. We will be there for all your 1sts, your 1st step, your 1st tooth, your 1st day of school, your 1st broken heart. All those 1sts that start you out on your journey to become the man you are supposed to become.
Whatever you do in life do it with your whole heart. You will be disappointed, that's a given, but always walk with your head held high. Never give up who you are, never compromise your beliefs beceause you think it will make your popular with people. You will be the bigger man if you walk away and know that you are staying true to yourself. Those who want to be around you will always be there, no matter what your differences are. Your honor and integrity is something that will always be with you and no one can take it away from you.
When you make friends, make friends for life. Be sure to always be there for your friends, in good times and in bad. Life is rocky and good friends help smooth out the path. Accept their help when they give it and be ready to help when they need it. Always know that when the path gets rocky mom and I will be here to help you and guide you. You will have the freedom to go where your heart leads but also the freedom to know that your home will always be there for you.
I am so excited to see what life has in store for you. You might need adult guidance and mom and I might not be around at the exact moment that you need it. That is when you go to uncle Danny, uncle Chin or auntie Kono. I trust those 3 with our lives.
Your uncle Danny is the most honourable man I have ever met in my life. I have served with some fine men during my time in the navy but no one comes close to uncle Danny. He has shown integrity, loyalty and a fighting spirit I haven't seen in anyone that isn't a Seal. Don't underestimate his size. He can pack as good a punch as any guy 6 foot tall. You will soon learn all about his little mannerisms and that once he is on a roll he is very hard to stop. He doesn't like pineapple and believes that the islands are out to get him, Danno don't surf and he only swims when his life depends on it but he builds nice in door tents and he is fun to go trick and treating with.
Your uncle Chin is the original zen master and he will teach you how to find your centre and how to make sense out of life. He has mad computer skills and if ever you have a DUI you need to hide from us then he is the man to go to ! Grandpa taught him how to fish and I am sure when the time comes he will take you out and pass that skill on. Always listen to what he has to say, he is not a man of many words, but when he does speak it is worth listening to.
Your auntie Kono will teach you to surf like a pro, how to read the waves and catch them at the exact right moment and how not to steal someone else's waves like your uncle Danny did, but that is a story for another day. When you grow up you will find that you have the world's biggest sandbox to your disposal and that it has the ocean only a couple of meters away. The ocean needs to be treated with respect and auntie Kono will teach you how to do that.
When you become a teenager you will find that there is a species out there that no man is immune to. They are called girls/women/females. You will be shocked to find that your mom is one of them. Treat them with the utmost respect, guard their hearts, never lift your hand for them and always listen when they say no ! Don't think they are like your boy friends and therefore don't treat them the same way. They are soft and cuddly, make them laugh, give them chocolates and flowers and just listen. Someday I hope you have a little sister so that you can know how special the bond between a brother and sister. You will be her protector but also the one she will sometimes take her frustration out on. Always be there for her no matter how much she irritates you.
There is so much more I want to say and explain to you but I can hear you stir in the nursery. Time for your 3 am bottle. I promise to always lead by example and I hope and pray that your mom and I never disappoint you.
Always live a life that is honest and true. Never doubt yourself and know that we love you.
Dad