"I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty, and I could not have described it any better." -wtm

o0o

Perfection was a goal that many sought after, no matter how impossible it was. Admittedly, achieving such a task was difficult for Light as well. Of course, it didn't mean he hadn't done it. The six year old could only be described as the "perfect son". At least, that's what his daddy always told him. Though Sayu had to disagree with that notion when he refused to play princess with her, much to his parents amusement. That was normal brotherly behavior, he supposed. However, Light was in no way normal.

Ironically, it was because he was so perfect in the first place. The boy never lied, because he never needed to. Light never misbehaved in the first place, why would he? If he did, then he wouldn't be perfect anymore. The very thought of his mommy or daddy looking down at him with disappointed eyes made his stomach churn uncomfortably. The boy supposed that was what made little sisters so fascinating. Sayu always looked so ashamed when she was caught doing something bad, like when she stole a handful of candy. Her brown eyes would tear up, with her small face scrunching up in shame. Judging from how his sister buried her head in her mother's stomach after being done with her time out, it was genuine.

Of course, that didn't stop Sayu from misbehaving whenever she thought she could get away with it.

Light marveled at the psychology behind it. How could a person continuously do something that brought them shame? It didn't make any sense in the slightest. Perhaps his sister's young mind had not yet gained enough intelligence to stop doing such foolish things. The boy supposed that was true for all children, and even some adults. That was what made him different, perfect . Light had always been his daddy's "clever boy", so much smarter than his peers. Honestly, every other kid he had met was just so stupid . The brunette could never talk to them without getting bored instantly. The kids got bored of him quickly too, confused when he tried to inform them of what they should know. In the way only children could, when they didn't understand they got angry. All too often Light had been the target of a squeaky voice's yells, because they didn't know.

They didn't know anything.

Sayu was… sweet. He couldn't deny that he had been a bit disappointed though. When his parents showed his three year old eyes the newborn bundled in pink blankets, he had hoped she would grow up to be as smart as him. Of course, that wasn't the case. Her intelligence was painfully average, just like everyone else. However as Light looked down at Sayu scribbling chalk on the concrete, a small endeared smile etched itself on his face. His sister was different from the rest of the idiots, because she recognized that he was so smart. She respected him. Sayu didn't get annoyed when he talked about things her young mind couldn't hope to understand, she got awestruck. For that reason, Light couldn't help but respect her a bit too.

The duo sat outside in their front lawn, bathing in the summer sun. It wasn't their idea, but their mother said that they shouldn't be locked up in the house. Though Light suspected it was her excuse to get some alone time, as she was curled up comfortably in her chair enjoying a glass of wine. The boy wouldn't argue with his mother about it, even though he could see right through her facade. Only bad boys argued with their parents. He just wished his mommy had at least given him a proper pencil for his cross words. The sun was nice sure, but a driveway wasn't exactly the best surface to work on. All he had was a red colored pencil to write with, as well.

Sayu didn't seem to care in the slightest. She had that boundless enthusiasm that only a three year old could have. She was currently scribbling a yellow blob with her chalk, that could be vaguely interpreted as a sun. Light rose a brow when he saw that she had added a smiley face, how quaint. The boy siped at his water, setting it back down. He turned his eyes back to his puzzle, and supposed it was fine he didn't have a eraser. After all, it wasn't like he made mistakes. He never did.

"Onii-chan!" His sister chirped.

Light looked up to see Sayu standing in front of him, bouncing on her heels. "Hmm? What is it?"

"I donno what to draw." She pouted "Why don't you draw something?"

He sighed, he knew it wasn't a question. The boy had been around his little sister long enough to know that when she asked him to do something, she was really saying 'do what i'll say or i'll throw a tantrum'. Light supposed he would humor her. Sayu sat down next to him, looking curiously at her brother's crosswords.

Her chocolate eyes widened. "Woah, you finished it already? You're so smart!"

"Thanks." Light replied.

Of course, it wasn't like the puzzle was even remotely hard. He wasn't one to reject compliments though. The boy decided to be nice and do a word Sayu actually knew. His eyes drifted to one, and then to the red colored pencil grasped in his fingers. An idea sparked in Light's head. His glass of water wasn't very warm, but it was good enough due to the hot sun. The boy dipped his pencil into the glass, and promptly began to draw on his sister's face.

She squawked in indignation. "Lighttttt! Stop it!"

"You stop it!" Light huffed. "You said you wanted me to draw, right? I'm only drawing a heart, calm down."

Sayu crossed her arms with a pout. All in all the process took about half a minute, which was good considering it was probably the length of her attention span. It wasn't anything extravagant, it was small and simple. Doing anything fancy would just be a waste of time, the girl would probably manage to get it off rather quickly. Despite this, the six year old set down his colored pencil with a sense of accomplishment.

"There." He grinned. "You look exactly like a… fairy princess."

"I do? Yay!" Sayu cheered.

Light marveled at the youthful naivety. It was so foreign to him, as he had never actually experienced it himself. Perhaps the boy really was too smart for his own good, but if he wasn't smart than he wouldn't be perfect. Yet something inside of him felt envy, how carefree it must be to be ignorant about the world. Lights ears picked up muffled voices coming from afar, and his eyes glanced in the direction they were coming from. To his surprise, it was a pair of neighbors.

They were a female duo, roommates if the boy remembered correctly. It was painfully obvious that they were talking about him and Sayu; they would speak to and fro before glancing at siblings. Judging from their frowns, they certainly didn't see them in a positive light. A spark of curiosity ignited in his mind. Light wanted to know what sort of stupid excuse the girls had made up to be bitter over a couple of kids. There was no way he was going to let a couple of idiots ruin his reputation.

"Oh! I know what to draw!" His sister exclaimed. "I will make a kingdom, there'll be a castle. There's gonna be a princess and a unicorn, and everything else…"

The boy hummed, not really listening. "Alright, have fun with that. I'm going to check something out real quick, so stay here okay?"

"Okay…"

Light set down his things, and stood up. Luckily the fence around his house was mostly solid concrete, with a small metal fence on top. It was at times like these that he was happy he was a bit small for his age. The boy stretched, before loudly and obviously going to his front door. He glanced at the corner of his eye to make sure the neighbors were watching. Light smirked in satisfaction when they looked away. The six year old crouched down, sneaking over to the side of the fence. He crawled towards the roommates until they were only a few feet away. The concrete kept the boy safe from their prying eyes. He concentrated intently on their words.

The younger looking woman with a bobbed haircut, huffed in disgust. "Honestly, Yagami-san's son looks nothing like her. Just look at his hair!"

The other one hummed in agreement. "I heard from the others that his name was Light or something. You know, I don't think it's a coincidence Aiya."

"Really? Do you think…"

"I mean it makes sense, her husband is never home. She probably hooked up with some guy at a bar." She sneered.

Aiya shook her head. "To think there'd be someone like that in our neighborhood!"

Her friend snickered. "Yeah, what a whore!"

Light was no longer crouched, instead he sat numbly. The world seemed to fade around him, their laughter merely echoes. The boy's breathing swallowed, he knew the implications. He knew what it meant to cheat on your spouse. Light's fingers subconsciously curled themselves in his hair. It was true, everyone in his family had dark chocolate brown locks. Everyone except him. The six year old's hair was a light caramel, so different from his parents. He had never even thought about it before, just assuming it was another thing that made him special. Now, thinking about it made his eyes sting. It made sense, and that's what hurt the most. Was it true? Did mommy really cheat?

Was Light not really his daddy's son?

He was filled with a rotting disgust at himself. To think he was a product of- No. No he had to hear the words come from his mommy's mouth. The boy knew he would never be at peace until he did. Light wouldn't be satisfied with just his internal conformation, but he knew he couldn't ask her directly. It was the same with all adults, they always lied. It was because he was "too young"; they always treated him like he knew nothing. It was frustrating, because he could handle it. Yet the boy knew that his mother would lie and say "Of course not!", because that was what they all did. They couldn't bear to tell their children the truth.

Light had a way around this, of course. It wasn't too hard to eavesdrop on people, as the neighbors were totally oblivious. He just had to be patient, and wait for the opportunity. There was no doubt that mommy had heard the rumors. Perhaps that was the reason why she was trying to get rid of her stress. Daddy was the only one she could go to let off steam, he just had to wait for them to talk. Easier said than done, his daddy was taking on a tough case right now. Who knew when he would be home? Well people hate a quitter, and he was nothing short of vigilant.

Filled with a determined resolve, Light went back inside.

o0o

The boy laid uncomfortably in his bed, restless. Daddy hadn't been able to come home for dinner. Of course, it wasn't too surprising. It wasn't the first tough case he had tackled, but it was okay. Daddy was a big strong police officer and he would bring justice to all the bad guys, because good always won. Because he always came back home. Even so, dinner had been quiet despite Sayu's ramblings. Perhaps it was just him. It was so awkward to sit near his mother now, knowing that she…

Light groaned and rolled over, trying to purge the emotions from his head. This was all such a nightmare! The six year old sat up, glancing at his alarm clock. It showed the time: eight fifteen, in bright green letters. His bedtime was always eight o'clock, while his sister always had to be in bed by seven thirty. There was a good chance that his mommy thought he was asleep by now, so now was the best time to start. The boy got off his bed, his bare feet hitting the carpet. Light padded over to his bedroom door, and pressed himself against it. He made sure to listen intently, focusing on the noises coming from downstairs.

The boy waited as patiently as he could, shifting between one foot to the next. Anticipation filled him when he heard the unmistakable sound of the phone ringing. Light almost jumped in anxiousness when he could faintly hear his daddy's name leave his mommy's mouth. Quietly and slowly, he opened his bedroom door. The six year old crept to the stairwell, sitting in wait. He needed to hear the truth from his mommy. He needed…

Sachiko sighed. "I know Soichiro, I know. It's just frustrating. To think the neighbors would think up such horrible rumors about our special little boy!"

The woman paused, tiredly listening to her husband's response. Light seemed frozen in his spot, why was mommy talking like that? Almost as if he really was the chief of police's son. He didn't understand.

"What if he hears what they've been thinking? He's so young! He doesn't need to be confused by their stupidity!" She said, before nodding to Soichiro words on the other end of the line. "Yes! It's like these people haven't gone to school. Light brown hair and eyes is just recessive! I can't believe they automatically thought that I was cheating! He's just rare! Our special and rare little Light…"

The six year old was stunned. His heart thudded behind his ribcage, like a fluttering bird. He tried to process what he had heard. Was his mommy lying? No, he could tell from the way she spoke that she wasn't. It wouldn't make sense if she didn't know, Sachiko sounded so sure of it. There was such a truthful tone in her voice when she said that she hadn't cheated. So Light wasn't the product of adultery? The boy should have been happy with that fact, yet a coil of despair choked him.

He had… been wrong?

That realization plagued him as he crept limply to his room. Light shut the door behind him, leaning against it in disbelief. He had been wrong. That had never happened before, it couldn't have. He was supposed to be mommy and daddy's clever boy, he couldn't make mistakes! It wasn't allowed, he was supposed to be better than that. To think, he had thought his mother was capable of going so low! Shame flooded him so intensely, like nothing he had felt before. Light slid down to the floor from the sheer weight of it, and shivered. Was this what Sayu always felt? The boy wrapped his arms around his knees, hiding his face.

He hated this feeling! Light was never supposed to be wrong, he was the golden child. He was perfect, he was smart. But… how could he say that now? The boy knew that once you did something stupid, you could never truthfully say you were perfect again. Because once you tarnished it, there would always be the potential that you would do it again. His parents always said he was their clever little boy, but now that wasn't true. They loved him because he was smart, right? Now that he wasn't…

They would hate him.

Light knew that they couldn't know about his traitorous suspicions, it was impossible. But they would see the aftermath, they would be able to tell that their clever boy wasn't so clever anymore. The boy shuddered again, he couldn't stand the thought. How could he have messed up? It couldn't be his fault! It couldn't be… Light lifted his head up. Maybe… maybe if he put those wrong thoughts somewhere… Then he wouldn't really have thought those things, right?

But how could he make them go away? It wasn't like the boy could simply store them in a box. He gazed into the shadows that clung on his bedroom walls, that lurked in his closet. Would they work? The idea went as soon as it came, of course It wouldn't! It was too simple, it would just be hiding them. Those wrong thoughts would still be there, just harder to grasp. Besides, although logically he knew that nothing lurked inside the darkness, there was still a part of him that found them so scary.

Then his caramel eyes landed on his mirror. Light's eyes bore into the pane of glass, and an idea sparked in his head. The six year old got up from his protective pose and scampered over to it. His young mind worked rapidly, his imagination springing to life. This would be perfect! Besides, Sayu already had an imaginary friend. The boy assured himself that this was perfectly normal, a lot of kids his age had them. Funny, Light had never even considered his reflection to be anything more. Yet now as the child looked into the glass, another boy stared back.

The brunette's eyes widened in a marveled curiosity. The one he was looking at was certainly his mirror reflection, that hadn't changed in the slightest. The boy had his light brown hair, had the same boyish face. It was him and yet not him at the same time, the aura that hung around his twin felt so foreign. Despite this strange situation, stubborn politeness that refused to leave his instincts made itself known. Light waved in a friendly manner, silently saying hello. The boy did the same, perfectly mirroring his movements.

The six year old looked away, frowning. Although no words were yet spoken, the boy in the mirror seemed to realize something was wrong. Light could almost feel the concern radiating off of his new friend. He looked back, his hand brushed against the glass. As always, the boy did the same. The brunette felt a flash of pity for his reflection, yet deep inside he felt that somehow the boy understood. After all, his image didn't have an expectation to uphold. Smudges could always be wiped away.

"You…" Light's voice came out in a whisper, laced with a mixture of disappointment and sadness. "You did something really bad…"

For the first time, the boy in the mirror moved on his own. It was subtle yes, but still there. His reflection's lip began to tremble, eyes scrunching up in anguish. The brunette could hear whimpers and sniffles coming from the other side of the glass, and sighed sadly. Light pressed his head against it, trying to offer some sort of comfort. Despite this, the six year old felt quite pleased with himself. It really was so much easier to support someone, than to deal with those feelings yourself.

The boy would have felt guilt, but what would be the point? It wasn't like his reflection was real. Still, there was a sort of serenity from being with his twin. He was a special little secret that no one else would know. Thanks to him, nothing had changed. A satisfied smile grew across Light's face. Yes, absolutly nothing had been tarnished. Just as always, he was perfect.

o0o

That memory seemed so distant now. He had been so naive then, so young. When he was a boy, he had still been learning so much about the world around him. Light supposed he was always too smart for his own good. The eighteen year old had been worried when L had become frozen from shock, holding that notebook. He wanted to see the shinigami for himself. Just as quickly as he had grabbed it, the world faded away. Now all semblance of reality was blocked out by an agonizing pain.

Light screamed from the torture. It felt as though his throat would tear from the sheer volume of his cry. Memories that had been erased sprung back to life, forcing themselves back into his brain. It felt as though his skull was being ripped in half, his eyes were wide and glazed over. Light's stomach curled violently, and it took everything in his power not to vomit. Tears were trapped in his eyes, unable to spill. His head was filled with an angry static, only one thought managed to escape the furious buzzing.

What… what had he done?

The feeling of horror faded quickly. The teen couldn't afford to feel guilt, let alone grief. What he was doing… was for the greater good. It was justice! Light's breathing swallowed out, coming in slightly gasping breaths. This, this was why he was too smart for his own good. He could see just how horrible criminals truly were, they had to be eliminated. Disposing of them was a mercy, really. That was why he couldn't hesitate, why he couldn't ever doubt himself. The brunette relaxed with a sigh when he felt all too familiar arms wrap around him, he always made it so easy to understand. He always reminded him why he had to do this, why he couldn't stop. Light could feel him smiling, he had memorised it in his mind. Alluring, yet in no doubt showed a dangerous edge that was full of power.

Hello Light, It's so nice to see you again. I missed you. Kira murmured.