Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story, not even the sarcasm, as that was originally my dad's and before that, my grandmother's. In short, if I was JK Rowling, I wouldn't be typing on a 6 year old gateway that barely still works. Or whatever.
Harry Born.
Voldemort kill parents.
He try kill Harry.
Harry no die.
Harry has scar.
Voldemort sort of die.
Harry saves world.
Harry live with mean relatives
Harry visited by giant.
Harry wizard!
Harry famous!
Harry go to school.
Harry make friends.
Harry lose points.
Harry save world.
Harry back with mean relatives.
Harry rescued by friend.
Harry back at school.
Harry get in trouble.
Harry save world.
Harry back with mean relatives.
Harry run away.
Harry have fun.
Harry go back to school.
Harry has godfather!
Godfather no murderer!
Harry save world and godfather.
Harry back with mean relatives.
Harry and friends see quidditch world cup.
Tournament at school.
Harry mysteriously entered.
Harry almost die.
Voldemort come back!
Harry no save world!
Harry back with mean relatives.
Harry rescued.
Godfather and other people waiting for Harry.
Harry go back to school.
Harry spend whole year PMS-ing.
Godfather in trouble.
Harry and gang go save him.
Deatheaters kill godfather.
Harry mad.
Harry save world but not Godfather.
Harry back with mean relatives.
Harry still mad.