Warnings: PG to PG13, I think.
A gift for The Tystie.
Miles stopped pacing the floor and suddenly whirled around. Julian resisted the urge to back up a step, especially when his friend – or was it to be 'former friend' soon? – scanned him up and down. The probing glance did more to unnerve Julian than the whole half hour it took to explain all that had been done to him, due to the enhancements. Had something sparked in the depths of Miles' mind? Did something, now, make him see Julian in a new light…a negative light?
"You said 'a whole new Julian Bashir'." It was a flat tone. A statement, accompanied by anger. Julian couldn't figure out if it stemmed from Miles thinking Julian thought himself superior or something else entirely different.
Now, that's just wishful thinking, Julian scolded himself. How else could it be interpreted?
Julian took a step forward. "I didn't mean it like that, Miles. I –?"
"Then how else did you mean it!"
"I only meant –"
"Because I'm having a hard time seeing it any other way." Miles' hands curled into fists at his side. "You think your old self died!"
"I don't think of myself as…wait, what?" Julian shook his head, replaying the statement. "Oh. Of course, I do."
"See? That, that, right there, is wrong." Miles punctuated his words by pointing a finger at Julian. "Maybe you're smarter or faster, but you're still you."
Julian felt his shoulders hunch as he fought to control his rising anger. "How else could I think of it? Nothing was left the same. Only my name stayed, and then that…you couldn't understand, Miles!"
"Couldn't understand?" Miles strode up and grabbed a handful of Julian uniform. "Don't you dare say that. I know you better than anyone, besides Garak. I…"
Miles' hand fell, his eyes wide. "That why you flinch when I call you 'Jules', isn't it? That's what you were called before they enhanced you."
"I…" To be honest, Julian hadn't thought Miles had caught those moments. He'd tried so hard to mask the effect that name had on him, particularly when his best friend happened to say it. However, it seemed he'd failed. Again. Couldn't he get anything right? First the enhancements, now this. Good heavens, it was a miracle he'd been able to hide this long, if he was really that rubbish at acting.
Julian sighed. "I didn't know you saw those."
"Of course I saw them, Julian." Miles sighed too, and ran a hand through his curly hair. "It's why I stopped using it after the first few times. I didn't know why it made you uncomfortable, but I know it did. So I stopped."
"I never suspected that."
"You weren't supposed to." Miles rolled his eyes. "Look at us. You'd think we were drunk and moping."
"And we aren't? Moping I mean."
"Oh, shut up," Miles smirked, before he sobered and stared hard at Julian. He sat on the edge of the couch and indicated Julian should take a seat too. After a second, Julian did just that. Miles clasped his hands together, brow furrowed. "Is that really how you think of yourself? As a totally different person?"
"How can I not?" Julian spluttered.
"I bet if we took a DNA test, you'd come out a Bashir."
"That doesn't mean a thing!"
"Oh?" Miles raised an eyebrow. "So, it's more than blood that makes a family."
"I know what you're doing, so stop it." Julian half turned away. "How else can you explain my parents' actions? Up until I was six…Miles, they couldn't even stand to look at me. And then, once I was better, my father couldn't stop bragging."
"His loss." Miles shrugged. "Not your fault he couldn't be happy with what he got. You're not some tool or coil that can be tweaked with and then tada! all done."
"But that's exactly what they did! They didn't like the child they got, so they traded him in for the newer model." Julian could feel his anger turning into hurt. "I couldn't do anything right and then, suddenly, I couldn't do anything wrong."
"How did they take you entering Starfleet?"
Trust Miles to take that as the only fact of interest.
Julian glanced down. "They were…afraid, to be honest. Terrified, might actually be a more accurate description."
"Because you might be caught?"
Julian raised his gaze. "Might? I was, Miles. I was caught. Just a few hours ago. But…I couldn't just take the shadow road my parents wanted for me. I had all these gifts, these talents. It seemed like such an awful waste to not use them to help others."
"See?" Miles said, pointing again. "That's what I'm talking about. You think of others before yourself. You're nothing like Kahn. So stop saying you're a monster or freak. You're Julian Bashir, one of the best doctors in the Fleet."
"Miles –"
"And that brings up another thing!" his best friend said, leaning forward. "Was this what you meant about social etiquette?"
Julian shifted. "Yes. It's the one thing the enhancements couldn't seem to fix. Before, I just couldn't read any of the signals right. Then, after, my parents hid me away, when I wasn't in school. I never got the chance to really practice. Not until the Academy. By then, no one was willing to let me make mistakes."
Not even you, at first. But Julian kept that to himself.
"You do a fine job now," Miles grumbled. "Besides, who says all those rules are up to date, anyway?"
Julian snorted. "Society?"
"Ugh, this definitely needs scotch. I can't get into this while sober." Miles stretched. "Look, my shift starts in ten minutes. I'll meet you back here at 1900."
"Pizza?"
Miles shifted in his seat and shook his head. "Hasperat Soufflé."
Julian could feel his forehead furrowing as confusion seeped into him. "But…you don't like Hasperat Soufflé."
"You do." Miles gave him that quirky smirk of his and shrugged. "I can have fatty pizza another night. Let's be healthy."
Warmth filled Julian as he realized what Miles was doing. How his meal choice was meant to point out that not everything had to change, or how every compromise had to come from Julian's side of the board. And that's what made Miles his best friend. He never had to explain things like this, Miles just knew. Their beginning had been rough, but the bumps had only helped them smooth out the kinks in their friendship, made it rock solid.
I'd like to give a huge shout out to nightbird47 for helping me get the ending of this right. I had done another version, but it was "mah". They, very generously, gave me a lovely PM and made a suggestion, which I took. Thanks, nightbird47!
Reviews are life, people. Please, don't let me die. :D