A/N: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Also, the story is based off the lyrics to Charlie Puth's Dangerously, so everything in bold italics isn't ours. We only used the lyrics related to the story. BTW, This chapter is set in Lily and James's 5th year. Enjoy!

- Rowan Anvil and two friends co-writing all this :)

This is gonna hurt but I blame myself first, because I ignored the truth

Drunk off that love, my head up, there's no forgetting you

"I'm sorry," Severus said desperately.

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath. I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done it. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"

"Slipped out?" Lily scoffed. She smiled but did so grimly. There was no happiness in it. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Severus wanted to speak, but no words would come out.

"I can't pretend anymore," Lily said, shaking her head. She threw her hands up. "You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No- listen, I didn't mean-"

"-to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled to put together a sentence but Lily didn't wait to hear it. She climbed back through the portrait hole.

Lily stormed back to her dormitory.

"Well?" asked Mary, looking up from her Witch Weekly magazine from her spot on the bed.

"Done," she declared. "I am so done with this 'friendship' that's been hanging by a thread."

"No, I mean…" Mary's voice trailed off.

"What?" asked Lily.

"How're you feeling?" said Mary.

Lily sighed. She thought for a while before she turned back to her friend. How was she feeling? She figured she had seen this coming, what with his fascination with the Dark Arts and his friendship with Mulciber and Avery. But just because you saw it coming doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. And believe Lily when she said it did. It hurt a lot. She knew it for the best, but Sev had been her closest friend for most of 6 years. So she answered with the most accurate answer she could think of, one that summarized how she had been feeling in the past few days. "I don't know."

"Well, whatever happens, you've got me, okay?" Mary said. "I'm here for you, you know."

"I know."

"Good."

Lily crawled back into bed and thought some more. Mary probably asked if she was alright just in case she cried. She knew Mary cared about her, but only a few of Lily's friends had ever seen her cry before. Lily was emotional, but usually didn't let it out through tears.

Lily would not cry. She would not be one of those pathetic bimbos that cried their eyes every time she chipped a nail. She tried to convince herself that she could let it out because this was more serious than a fucking chipped nail, this was Sev, her best friend and Merlin's beard, she was thinking about him again.

Lily kept thinking until she fell asleep.

The next day, while Lily walked to classes, people stared at her as she passed. Lily knew what they were thinking, without having needed to overhear their whispers.

"Where's Snivellus?"

"Finally, she ended it with that grease bag. I knew she would come to her senses!"

"I thought those two were inseparable!"

"What he said yesterday must've been the last straw. That was a pretty shit move."

Lily didn't care about what they thought or said. She went on with her day and did so quite easily. The only thing she was afraid of was if Severus tried to talk to her again, but luckily he didn't. She did not want to see the heartbroken look in his eyes. She did not want to accept his apology. She couldn't, she wouldn't, soften at the thought of what their friendship could've been if it had continued. He was weak and she was strong.

"Hey James," Sirius nudged his best friend.

"What?" he asked groggily. It was lunchtime and he was still sleepy from his daily History of Magic snooze. Professor Binns' lectures provided a free nap-time period.

"I just heard Lily and Snivellus broke up." Sirius whispered conspiratorially.

James' head shot up and he dropped his spoon, which splashed into his bowl of soup. It sprayed onto his glasses.

Sirius cackled. "Well, that got your attention!"

"Shut up, Padfoot," James muttered while cleaning his glasses with his fingers jokingly, like a wiper on a windshield, before grabbing a napkin off a passing tray. "On a more important note, why didn't you tell me earlier?" he hissed through a clenched jaw.

"Only just found out," Sirius shrugged.

"From who?"

"A reliable resource." Sirius slurped his soup and it dribbled down his chin.

"Merlin's beard, Sirius, use your damn spoon." Remus slid into his seat along with Peter.

"Where were you, Moony?" James asked.

"Don't toss that nickname around so carelessly!" Remus scolded. "Helping someone with an essay." he mumbled.

"Of course, you goody two shoes," Sirius smirked. "By the way...have you heard?"

"What?" asked Peter.

"Snivellus and Lily broke up!" he squealed. He shook James' shoulders. "It's James' chance!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh, you're despicable. Why do I even bother?"

"Eh?" Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"First of all, you give the impression that Lily and Severus were dating. They weren't dating-"

"That's right!" James broke in defensively before Remus could finish. The other three stared at him.

"May I go on?" Remus asked, annoyed. James nodded silently.

"Anyway, they never dated. Secondly, it's hard to say goodbye to friends, so she must be in a grieving state. Therefore, it would be preposterous for James to barge in like the arrogant toerag he is-"

"I am not!" he protested.

"-and try to charm Lily and win her affection."

Sirius shrugged. "Well said." He turned to James. "Prongs. I think you'll have to wait for Evans to cool her head before you make a move on her."

James nodded sullenly. "Yes, sir."

The other three talked some more during lunch, but James wasn't paying attention. All he could think about was Lily Evans and if she was alright.

Lily liked playing with her food. She liked stacking biscuits to pretend she was an architect, or imagined carrot sticks were people and the mashed potatoes were patches of flobberworms. But today's lunch was soup, so she couldn't play or else she'd make a mess, so she ate it quickly and decided to go to the library.

"Evans!" she heard someone call her name. She turned around. It was those twats from Slytherin, Mulciber and Avery.

She shook her head. "Sorry, but I'm not talking to him."

"Cut the rubbish, Evans," Avery said. "He's acting all depressed. If you'd only let him know you're still in good terms-"

"I'm not on good terms with him," she narrowed her eyes.

"I don't care if it's fucking true or not! He's being annoying and I want him to stop!" spat Mulciber.

"Shut up, Mulciber!" Avery raged.

"Sorry, Avery."

"Nope. Bye," Lily started walking away.

"Evans," Avery snarled. He grabbed her arm, and pulled her so close to his face that she could see every angry brown speck in his cold gray eyes. "I always told him that lowlife that Mudbloods like you weren't good for him. Believe me, one day you'll-"

"Stupefy!" Lily heard a familiar voice shout. Avery flew backwards. Lily looked around for the source of the spell. When she spotted a tall head of mussed hair over the crowd, she knew.

"Potter!" barked Lily. "What the-"

"Oh, a 'thank you' would suffice," James rolled his eyes as he strode towards her. "Don't pretend he wasn't threatening you."

"And how'd you know where he went?"

"I just watched him walk after you."

"You were looking at me?" squeaked Lily incredulously.

"Evans, you already know that I fancy you," he said seriously.

She narrowed her eyes. "I could've fended for mys-"

"Ahem."

"It was completely-"

"Excuse me?"

Lily huffed. "Th-th-than…"

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that?" he cupped his ear with his hand and batted his eyelashes obnoxiously.

"Thanks," she choked out.

James smirked. "That's more like it."

Avery was back on his feet. "You'll regret this, Potter! Don't think your name and riches will save you this time!" Mulciber and Avery whipped theirs wands out of their robes and walked angrily over to James and Lily, whose wands were already drawn.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Avery spat. The spell whizzed towards James, who threw up a shield charm

"Carpe Retractum!" James exclaimed. A whip-like, glowing red rope shot out of his wand and wrapped around Avery's wrist. Avery gasped in pain, and James flicked the rope so that Avery came flying towards him. When Avery was close enough, James punched him square in the jaw. Avery landed on the ground, clutching his jaw in pain. Getting up and wiping away the blood that trickled from the corner of his mouth, Avery turned on Lily.

"You think your fancy blood traitor boyfriend can save you, you little Mudblood tart? We'll see about that won't we." Avery sneered as he advanced on Lily. The surroundings cleared and all she saw was her and her opponent. She vaguely recognized James and Mulciber duelling nearby. CRAP CRAP CRAP she was duelling somebody. Avery swished his wand and suddenly a stream of conflagrant blue flames twisted and ran out of his wand. What was that? Lily's head screamed. We haven't learned nonverbal spells yet?!

"Ebublio!" Lily shouted. A light blue light shot towards the flames and soon, a large shiny bubble encased them, the flames still writhing inside. It floated up to the ceiling and popped sending blue sparks into the air like fireworks. The first and second years watching oohed and aahed in wonder.

"Colloshoo! Stupefy!" Avery's shoes stuck to the ground and the didn't even have a moment to look confused before the spell hit him, and he collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

"Wow, Evans, that was quite a move!" Lily heard James shout.

"Anteoculatia!" James recited. Mulciber had just begun to speak another spell when a scream pierced the air. Two giant antlers had sprouted from Mulciber's head.

"You'll pay for that, you little shit! Expulso!" James stepped out of the way of Mulciber's jinx, but it hit an unsuspecting Ravenclaw third year and pinned her to the stone wall.

Mulciber gave James and Lily one last icy glare before muttering the counter-curse to Lily's Colloshoo and leading Avery, who was slowly coming back to consciousness, back to the dungeons. After the whole mess with the Ravenclaw had been sorted out, Lily turned to James.

"You can go now," Lily said to James.

"I think I'll stay," he said lightheartedly.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' an inner voice screamed at him. 'PADFOOT TOLD YOU TO LET HER COOL HER HEAD,YOU BLOODY WANKER.'

Lily scrunched her nose up. James thought it was cute. No, stop it, you wanker. Keep it in your trousers for once.

"Fine," she said resignedly.

So James accompanied her to the library. As they walked, he would glance at her when he knew she wouldn't catch him.

'She doesn't look sad,' he thought. 'Just kinda empty.' He wanted to grab her hand and pull her into a tight embrace, but he knew she would slap him across his face if he tried anything too touchy-feely.

James decided to try and lighten her mood with some more conversation, and just as they were rounding the corner to the library, he asked, "Are you looking for any book in particular?"

She shrugged and lingered before the oak door to the library, and said, "Not really. I just come here whenever I'm feeling…" She hesitated.

"Feeling?" James questioned, his eyebrows raised in a way that urged her to continue.

"Never mind," she said. She opened the door and strode toward the history section.

James looked after her and then sat down in an empty chair at the tables. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Quidditch practice, the fight with Avery, and little sleep the night before had taken their toll on him, and the quietness of library was soothing. He laid his head on the surprisingly comfy table and fell asleep.

After finding an interesting book about the founders of Hogwarts, Lily looked for James and found him asleep with his head on the table. She felt a tiny smile grow. One might find his innocent face adorable.

She sat across from him and opened up her book. She decided to just read, then wake him up when lunchtime was almost over.

While she read, she glanced at him occasionally. 'People sure do look different when they're asleep. He looks so innocent,' she thought, knowing the opposite was true. She also couldn't help but notice the smirk he always sported had settles into a placid, content smile, and that the worry lines on his forehead that always appeared when they quarreled had smoothed into a spotless patch of tanned skin. Suddenly, she was noticing everything, from the freckles scattered along his (well defined, mind you) jawline, to the stubble by his ear where he forgot to shave that morning, and that he was actually quite handsome without his glasses and… WHAT!?

'Read your book, you hormonal teengager!' her brain screamed.

She forced herself to concentrate on the reading at hand to distract her from her brain's insane thoughts. Ten minutes later, Lily checked out her book and decided to wake up James since lunchtime was almost over.

"James," she shook his shoulder. "Next period's starting in a few minutes." The only sign of recognition he gave was a small grunt. She sighed and continued to try and rouse him from his sleep.

"James, " somebody poked his shoulder violently. "Wake up, you bumbling idiot," they hissed in his ear.

"Gah!" he jumped up suddenly. He groped around on the table for his glasses, slid them on and blinked slowly at her until she came into focus. "Lily?"

"Hello!" she waved her hand in front of his face and flicked his forehead with her finger. "Nap time's over, Potter."

"Oh. Evans. You're still here," he blinked as he rubbed his now-stinging forehead. "I thought you'd leave me or draw a mustache on my face."

"Maybe I did," she smirked.

"What?" he yelped. He covered his mouth with his hand. "Wait and see, Evans. I'll get you back."

"Oi, now you sound like Avery," Lily said.

"Sorry," James said in a muffled voice.

"Calm down, Potter. I'm teasing you. Can't you take a joke?" Lily threw her shoulders back, scrunched her hair, and mocked pushing glasses up the bridge of her nose, imitating him quite well.

Lily gathered up her books from the table as James adjusted his tie and fixed his crumpled shirt. Together, they walked out of the library.

"Evans, I can carry your bag for you if you'd like. Looks pretty heavy if you ask me." He reached for her bag. Lily sent James an icy glare, snatched the strap of her bag away from him, and swatted away his large, calloused hand.

"Okay, no help then. You're an independent bird." James paused to smirk, even though she couldn't see it. "I like that in a woman." After another withering glare from Lily and a (rather strong, might he add) punch in the arm, James decided it would be best to continue their walk in silence.

James took a glance over at Lily. My goodness, she's beautiful. She had fiery red hair that looked like the flames of a phoenix to him every time they argued, as if the intensity of the argument reflected upon her outward appearance. Her piercing green eyes were intensified by the paleness of her skin, and the freckles that scattered her nose reminded James that she was, in fact, a real girl standing next to him and not a perfect mannequin. She wasn't perfect, and that's what he loved about her. Wait. Loved? When did that come up? Was he in love with Lily Evans? James shook himself from his thoughts and continued the walk to lunch in silence.

They walked to the Great Hall for lunch and saw Peter, Remus, and Sirius sitting at the Gryffindor table.

"Prongs, where were you?" Peter asked as the two approached.

"Lily?" Remus stared in disbelief.

"Um...James, why are you covering your mouth?" asked Sirius.

"Library. Saved Lily from a Death Eater-"

"You did not-" she huffed.

"-and uh...I'm covering...well I'll let you see it."

James removed his hand slowly.

"Don't look at me! I'm hideous!" he cried melodramatically, fanning his face.

There was silence.

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" asked Peter.

"There's nothing there, mate," Sirius told him.

"What do you mean there's no-? But… but Lily! She drew a mustache on me!"

"Oh right," Lily smirked roguishly. "I was lying."

"Oi! I covered my mouth for nothing. I must've looked like a complete and utter idiot…"

"Don't need me to do that, Potter," Lily said.

Sirius barked. "Want ice for that burn, Prongsie?" he questioned teasingly.

James' nose twitched. "I'm good."

For the next few days, Lily let James accompany her on her trips to the library. She didn't know why she did it. His company had an unexpected effect on her.

It was calming.

You wouldn't anticipate that sort of feeling from hanging out with such a scoundrel such as Potter. She could only think of one reason for her sudden change of habits. James took her mind off Severus. She hadn't talked to him for five days.

It was Saturday and Lily decided to go out and read by the Black Lake. As she read about Godric Gryffindor and his early life story, the sound of shoes crunching on the rocks from behind her became louder.

"Lily."

Lily froze in place. Her eye twitched slightly. 'No,' she thought. 'Not him. I don't want to talk right now.'

"Lily," Severus pleaded. "Lily, hear me out."

She turned around. "What do you want to say?" she snapped at him.

"I- I apologized already. I don't need to again. And if you don't want to forgive me…" he paused and swallowed, "then I'll respect that," he barely choked out. "Even though we're not friends," his voice caught on the word. "I still care for your well-being. I might not be your friend anymore but Potter sure as hell never was. So why the fuck are you hanging out with him?"

Lily blinked at him in disbelief. "I-"

"He's still an arrogant toerag, you said so yourself, don't deny it! He's a narcissistic bastard and a conniving son of a bitch. Severing ties with me doesn't change that."

"I don't know."

"Excuse me?" Severus was taken aback.

"I don't know why I'm hanging out with him," Lily admitted. "His presence is oddly...comforting."

"What?" Severus spat out in disgust. "He's-"

"It's weird, Sev, but he hasn't really tried to make a move on me. He hasn't tried to hold my hand or kiss me or ask me out. And he hasn't been bullying anyone lately." Lily looked up. "Has he?"

"Not me," Severus said reluctantly. "But still. Don't go near him. It'll break your heart. And it'll-" he paused. "It'll break mine double."

"Do you really still care about me?" she asked emotionlessly.

"Yes."

"I care about you as well. But you're not my best friend."

"That's fine," he snapped.

"Good. Because I'm never changing my mind about that." Lily took her book and stormed back to the castle. Severus stared until her figure disappeared.

Lily walked back to the Gryffindor Common Room. With every step, she felt something inside her break. She muttered the password to the Fat Lady, who gave her a concerned look, and climbed through the portrait hole. She tumbled onto an empty chair.

'What've I done? I just lost my best friend,' Lily thought. She stared at the wall, which was covered in intricate tapestries, the beautiful detail of the stitching distracting her from the painful feeling in her stomach. After finally becoming bored, she picked up a book that was lying on one of the common room tables. At some point, maybe even hours later, the four boys got back from a prank and plopped down on the couches. They talked, ignoring Lily's presence, and Lily continued reading. Then she got to the part that described how Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin used to be good friends until their duel. The dam holding back the emotions she had been feeling let go of its strong hold. Finally, she broke.

James was the first to notice.

"Lily!" he leapt up.

'Oh shit, what do I do?' he thought. 'I've never seen her cry before!'

"Evans?" Remus asked in concern.

James knelt down by her chair and put his hand on her shoulder. "Lily, did someone hurt you?"

"No," she waved her hand. She tried smiling to reassure him. "I'm just being silly. It's nothing."

"You never cry, Lily. Don't lie," James said irritably.

"Be gentle, Prongs!" scolded Sirius. "Women have delicate feelings."

"Sorry," he apologized hastily. "But even if you think it's stupid, tell me what's wrong."

"It's…" Lily paused and sniffed. Did she trust him? She thought back to what Sev told her.

"He's a narcissistic bastard and a conniving son of a bitch. Severing ties with me doesn't change that."

"It's just this book! It's ruining my life" she threw the Founders book on the floor. She buried her face in her hands and put in a fake sob for emphasis.

"Oh. She's just one of those nerds who get emotional over a fucking book," Sirius rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Not helping!" growled James.

"Yes, it's extremely heart wrenching! I just want a piece of goddamn chocolate!" screeched Lily. "And while you're at it, get me a heating pad!"

The boys looked at each other uncomfortably.

"There, there," Remus patted her back. "I understand."

"Oi, piss off, that's my job!" James spat. He patted Lily. "There, there, Evans. It'll be okay."

The other boys awkwardly scurried out of the Common Room. Sirius made smoochie faces and winked at James while they scooted away.

James and Lily stayed in silence for a moment.

"Can I hug you?" he looked to see her reaction. No answer. "I'll assume that's a yes."

So he hugged her, and to his pleasant surprise she didn't squirm or get away.

'It wasn't the book. Real shit must've happened to her if she isn't even pushing me away,' he realized.

"Thanks," he heard her whisper into his chest. He looked at her face in surprise. She seemed just as shocked as him.

"I-" he stammered. "Yeah. No problem."

James blinked up at the ceiling of his dormitory. He couldn't stop thinking about what happened in the Common Room. She smelled good, like citrus, clean sheets, and sugar cookies. He could still feel her breathing pattern on his neck. He could still see those green eyes that he loved...

James sat up quickly. He loved Lily Evans? No, there was no way. Sure, she was damn fit and feisty, but he was totally over his dumb little firstie crush. He only asked her out because she looked so hot when she was angry. It was definitely not because he actually wanted to go out with that crazy harpy.

Right?

Lily turned over to the other side of her bed. Severus's question was still bouncing around in her head. Why was she hanging out with Potter? He had always been such a twat to her in the past, so why did he change now? She didn't even like him! Hell, she hated him!

'But if you hate him,' said the little voice in the back of her head, 'why don't you tell him to stop accompanying you everywhere? Why didn't you push him away when he hugged you? Why were you staring at him that day in the library?' "I'm probably catching a cold," Lily told herself. The voice in her head laughed.

But, damn, she couldn't forget a hug like that.

A/N: Well that was the first chapter! Reviews are PRICELESS. Thanks soooooooo much for reading!