[Author's Note: The story below is my rendition of Tara Gilesbie's My Immortal. It is from my (Alfy's) point of view and was written with the help of my dear friend, Tomi. Enjoy.]

As we waited patiently for the first years to get themselves situated in the Great Hall, Tomi and I pointed out to each other each new kid and described in exquisite detail exactly what we thought of them just loud enough for each and every one of them to hear. Tomi laughed loudly as two young boys walked up to Hermoine Granger and Luna Lovegood and failed miserably at making a move. I was just about to point out another desperate first year when all of a sudden a thin, short, twelve year old girl with murky brown eyes and shoulder length brown hair wandered over to us. She attempted some kind of hair flip in vain and sighed. "Hi," she muttered in a voice that sounded painfully staged. "My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."

Tomi had already had enough. "What the hell? Dark'ness? Sound like you've got bloody hiccups you nasty hoser." I laughed and flipped my significantly longer, darker hair to taunt her.

"What the hell kind of name is 'Dementia Raven Way?'" I could see this Ebony girl's self-esteem fall through the floor, if she'd had any to begin with.

"Well," she started again, "I got my name, Ebony, from my long, ebony black hair. See? It has purple streaks and red tips, that's how you know I'm goffik."

Tomi jumped up and bounced slightly, trying to keep her self-control in tact. She breathed heavily and crouched next to me. "Alfy, you're gonna have to hold me back, now..." She clasped her hands together suddenly. "Odin, please...please grant me the patience and self-control I need to not cut a bitch on this very day. Odin, I'm begging you, now."

I looked up at the ignorant piece of shit standing before me. I was just about to help her out and tell her what she really looked like, which only the kindest of people would do seeing as she was so ignorant, but then she interrupted me and I stopped caring.

"Your eyes are pretty, but not like mine. My icy blue eyes, like limpid tears, are the most gorgeous eyes, and some people even tell me I look like Amy Lee-"

"Bitch!" I stood suddenly as my hand swallowed her entire acne covered face. "Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, biiiiiitch please. Your eyes are nasty-ass brown, your hair is some kind of blonde-brown hybrid half-baked shit, and if I were to say you looked like someone, it'd be Voldy's pasty ass, alright?" I pushed her head back and turned around, sitting back down next to Tomi again and hoping the little shit had gotten the message. But she hadn't.

"I'm a vampire."

Tomi and I froze. We just froze and tensed and I could feel the terrified buttholes of the people around us clench until they threatened to collapse in on themselves. My light colored face went red, and Tomi's normally descriptive and expressive face was calm and still while her eyes danced with fury.

"I'm a vampire even though my teeth are straight and white, just like my pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and that's why I go here. Dumblydore said I'm so good, I'm already technically kinda like a seventh year. I mean, I might as well be seventeen with how maturely goth I am."

By this point, Tomi was livid, though her face showed no expression. She was rocking back and forth and mumbling to herself, trying to stay calm. "Come on Tomi, you've got good grades, and nice friends, and a good homeland, and- Come on, make Canada proud. We're nice in Canada, we're polite in Canada, we don't chop bitches up in Canada, we don't grab little bitch throats and squeeze until the light fades from their little bitch eyes in Canada. If you do crazy things, Tomi, you won't be able to go outside in the snowtime, and that'll make you sad..."

I watched as Tomi continued to hold back and I tried to block out the immense annoyance that was persistently buzzing in my ear. As the minutes passed and the asshole remained behind us letting the shit pour out of her mouth, I finally just got up and walked away. Tomi, Shane and a few others followed as I made my way quickly to the court-yard. While we were inside the bottom had fallen out of the sky and bits of hail mixed into the heavy rain fell down around us. I smiled at the gloomy sky as Tomi bounced happily and danced about with Shane and Rosso. Our small group was just starting to relax again when out of nowhere that horrid voice materialized and brought the ugly beast with it.

"It's snow-raining!" she shouted as she shoved Tomi and Rosso out of her way and nearly knocked me down to get into the rain. Tomi took in the deepest breath in mankind's history and just as she was about to let out the longest string of hexes mixed with profanity, Draco Malfoy appeared and held up his wand to her face. Her icy glare could've snapped that scrawny boy in half, but before we had time to do or say anything, "Ebony" turned around and nearly wet herself.

"Draco! Hi!" she nearly screamed as she just about threw herself at the poor boy. Draco stepped aside as the nasty bitch fell to the ground. She jumped up and checked her body for scrapes and bruises because she obviously wasn't searching for rips in her clothes since they were ratty shreds anyway. Pulling down on her knock-off Goodwill corset-type top and pushing up on her chest as if to show off what didn't exist, she smiled a snaggle-toothed grin at Draco. "What's up, Draco?"

His nose scrunched up as he turned his head away from any direction that could've been associated with her. "Uh...nothing..."

Suddenly "Ebony" seemed to notice herself and a grey cloud appeared over her personality and attitude. She sighed loudly and let her eyelids droop. Looking over her shoulder to a small group on the far side of the court-yard, she moaned. "I have to go, my friends want me." And with that, she just left; she simply walked away and attempted to join the targeted group, where she was rejected as if she were a leper.

Tomi laughed loudly as the rain got heavier and we all willed the bitch to be struck by lightning. Retreating inside, the group broke off to go to the designated common rooms, all silently hoping that "Ebony" was a part of another house.

-End of Chapter 1-