Pre-Reading Notes: May be slightly scary
Hypothetical Voice Cast
Andrea Libman as the Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey
Chris Sabat as the teenager at the end
Now Loading: Kids Next Door Mission
Operation: DOLL
Doll
Ominously
Looks
Lively
Writing Operatives: Lieutenant Darkton
Original Mission Director: Mr. Warburton
Adults referred to the place as Toys Be We. Children knew it better as heaven. Boy toys, girl toys, old toys, new toys, even toys you can build yourself! Not to mention clearance isles which parents could bug their children to utilize instead, almost always unsuccessfully.
Naturally, Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 were there, looking for something to buy, each one having ideas very different from one another. Numbuh 1 was there as well, but then he was mostly along for the ride. Numbuh 3 scanned the girl dolls section. "Pink dress dolly! Ooh! Blue dress dolly! Ah! Yellow dress dolly! *gasp* Green dress dolly!"
Numbuh 4 stormed along the halls. "Okay, you've had yer fun. Let's go check out the Mech Changers line!"
"Aww…but I was gonna check out the puppy dolls…"
"Eh, we'll check it out after we're done. Numbuh 1, you look at the stuff and see if there's anything Numbuh 3'd like."
Numbuh 1 tried to protest. "But-but I don't know anything about-"
But it was no use. "Great! Thanks! Catch ya later!"
Numbuh 1 growled. "If you ask me, this is all a big waste of time."
Numbuh 4 stared in awe of the many vehicles and animals, knowing that every single one of them turned into a powerful robot. "There's Slipguard! Ooh! Big Crusher! Ooh! Breaker! Eh?"
Numbuh 4 looked at the packaging of the toy once again. He saw writing next to Breaker's name. "Destructicon Breaker? What, did they think that we'd be too dumb to know that he was a Destructicon even though he turned into a big freakin' tank?! Numbuh 3, doesn't this look like a Destructicon?"
Numbuh 3 barely even looked at it. Her thoughts turned towards her crushed hopes and dreams. "I guess…"
Numbuh 4 didn't care. "Meh. Adults. Always think that we're stupid. Then again, it's not like this toy company has ever…" his eyes locked onto something. "…gotten it right?"
Staring right in front of him was a colossal box, inside it being a figure unlike any other.
"No way; This is the Ultimate Prime Superion Figure!" He held the box firmly in his hands and turned it around. "Light up eyes and sound! Looks just like the show! Supreme posability! Firing missiles! This thing is just awesome! How much am I in fer?" Numbuh 4 looked at the tag, only to find the price of victory was steep. "$50?! Holy crud! This thing's gonna eat up all of my money!"
Numbuh 3 looked at the Little Rovers isle, dejected, as Numbuh 4 continued to talk about how expensive the figure was. Just then, she heard a voice she didn't recognize. "Come one, come all! Feast your eyes on the newest delight from the world of Rainbow Monkeys!"
She turned around and found a salesman who looked rather chubby with a pair of sunglasses and an odd-looking hat pitching a very colorful Rainbow Monkey with a pinstripe suit. Numbuh 3 immediately gasped and cut through the line of potential customers. "I WANT ONE!"
"Of course you do!" the salesman continued. "This Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey isn't like the other Rainbow Monkeys you've had before! What makes this marvel of engineering so outstanding is the intensive work with microchips we've put into it, thus allowing it to put out an even greater number of frilly fun phrases!"
Numbuh 3 looked at him, confused. "What?"
"It talks! And says random things!"
"Wow! None of the dolls I had before ever talked to me!"
"Don't take my word for it! See, or hear, for yourself!" The salesman pulled the string on the monkey's foot.
"My name is Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey, and I love you very much," the strange doll said.
Numbuh 3 let out a loud gasp. "GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!"
"It can be yours, for the low, low price of $20!" the salesman said.
Numbuh 3 let out a different kind of gasp. This time, it was downtrodden. "But…but…I don't have $20! I can't buy it!"
"Oh, very sorry. I feel for your loss. Move along."
"I'm…I'm gonna get my friend! He's gonna make you give it to me! WAAAA-LLYYYYY!"
Meanwhile, Numbuh 4 was still overlooking the toy, now holding a flower with plucked petals, pulling them out one at a time. "I buy it…I buy it not…I buy it…I buy it not…" The last petal came out. "…I buy it!"
"WALLY, WALLY, WALLY, WALLY, WALLY!" Numbuh 3 screamed, grabbing hold of Numbuh 4's arm.
"Hey, what the…whoa!"
"You gotta help me, you gotta help me, you gotta help me, you gotta help me!" She pulled Numbuh 4 to the sales vendor. "Toy! Need money! You help?"
Numbuh 4 looked at the toy. "Bleh! No thanks! I don't wanna be near any of those cruddy Rainbow Monkeys!"
Numbuh 3 looked at Numbuh 4 with a saddened look.
"No way."
Numbuh 3 added to the look.
"No! Way!"
Numbuh 3 changed her look, this time giving off a stare that could pierce the hearts of even the most boyish of boys.
Numbuh 4 gulped. "Uh…how much am I payin'?"
Prime Superion grappled with his opponent, the leader of the Destructicons who transformed into a futuristic tank. "Give it up, Carnage!" Prime Superion said. "The Protectrons found that Minibot first, and you know what they say, 'finders keepers!'"
"Finish the quote, Prime Superion," Carnage said, "losers WEEPERS!" He then proceeded to hoist Prime Superion into the air and toss him on the other side of the mountain. Once he was on the other side, he fired his gigantic cannon at the ground, causing it to crumble and Prime Superion to fall. "I'm off to claim my prize! See you next fall! HAHAHAHAHA!"
A beam of light fired from a planet below while a phat beat played. The screen transitioned to Prime Superion turning into jet mode and firing missiles at an army of Destructicons, who also transformed and fought back. With another transition, the beam hit a spaceship above. "Mech Changers will return in a moment, only Toonami," spoke a cool robotic voice.
Numbuh 4 and Numbuh 1 were watching the TV together. "Numbuh 2 oughtta get here fast," Numbuh 4 said, "he's missin' out."
"I told you ten times, already;" Numbuh 1 said, "Numbuh 2 left with Numbuh 5 on a mission. They said they'd be gone for a while."
"Well that while had better get here soon. With money. I remember th' last time I tried ta steal somethin' from the toy shop. Got me in trouble with Global Command. Had that thing for all o' five milliseconds."
"Look, think of it this way, Numbuh 4," Numbuh 1 said, "you made Numbuh 3 happy by buying that toy with her. She really appreciates it."
"Yeah, well it means nothin'! I only did it so that she'd stop givin' me that look! If it were up ta me, I'd just-"
"TV time?" Numbuh 3 said, walking into the room with her Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey. "I wanna watch something!"
"Wait yer turn, Numbuh 3; we're watchin' Mech Changers."
"Mech Changers? Yech! So violin! I know a much better show than that!" Numbuh 3 grabbed the remote.
"Cover yer eyes and ears, everybody! Numbuh 3's gonna watch-"
She immediately hit the channel onto a news station with a dull reporter and text that stated Bores News 24/7. "Today on Bores News," the reporter says, "we look at any possible stock market failures and what it means for your jobs and your likeliness to work in a cubicle for eight hours straight."
"…huh?" Numbuh 4 said. "This isn't Rainbow Monkeys. In fact…it's even worse! Numbuh 3, why'd you change the channel to this crud?"
"Haha! Silly Wally!" Numbuh 3 said. "It always pays to keep informed. Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey told me that."
"That stupid doll can't say that! It's impossible."
Numbuh 3 pulled the string. "The More you know, the more places you go!" said the doll.
Numbuh 4 looked puzzled. "Did that doll just…it said…and Numbuh 3 was like…oh, never mind!" Numbuh 4 slumped over.
"Uh, Numbuh 3, we're trying to watch our show; why don't you go play with your dolls in your room?"
"Well…" Numbuh 3 said, "…okay!" She then skipped to her room, doll in hand.
"QUICK! CHANGE THE CHANNEL!" Numbuh 4 said. With a push of a few buttons on the remote, he was back to watching robots vs. robots.
"We must never speak of this again," Numbuh 1 said.
"Agreed." Numbuh 4 said.
Suddenly, the alarm started blaring. "Incoming message from Numbuh 362."
"I'll get Numbuh 3," Numbuh 4 said, rushing off to her room.
Numbuh 3 was in the middle of a tea party with her stuffed animals, including, of course, Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey.
"I'm so happy you all could come to this party!" Numbuh 3 said. She imitated Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey's voice. "More crumpets, please." She then spoke in her own voice "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't have that." Back to the Monkey's voice. "Well, how about some cookies?" And to her voice. "Yeah, we do! One moment please!" She grabbed the Monkey and left the room.
However, she was soon greeted by Numbuh 4. "Hey, Numbuh 3?" he said. "There's a mission goin' on. Let's go!"
"Uhh…I'm in the middle of my tea party. It's very busy."
"Oh, come on! This is a mission! You can't just walk out on it!"
"Maybe we should ask Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey what she thinks."
Numbuh 4 put his palm to his head. "Oh, great. Again with the stupid monkey."
Numbuh 3 pulled the string. "Fighting never solved anything talking couldn't solve!"
Numbuh 4 stared in shock.
"Sorry, I'm not going. Have fun! Buh-bye!" Numbuh 3 said, heading back into her room and shutting the door.
Numbuh 4 growled, then reached for the door. However, when he tried to open it, he found out that it wouldn't budge. She had locked it! "Fine! Go play with your stupid dolls! See if I care!"
A man in a yellow outfit with a lightbulb on his head laughed as he made children run. "Kids Next Door, your video gaming, TV watching, power wasting days are over! Now you face…BRIGHT IDEA!" He fired electricity at a TV monitor, causing it to overload and shut down. He proceeded to do the same thing to a video game console, causing that to fry. "Once I reach the central power core of the base, there'll be nothing you can do to stop me!"
"Well," a voice said, "we'll just have to make sure you never get there!" It was Numbuh 1, armed with a S.C.A.M.P.P., along with Numbuh 4, armed with a S.P.I.C.E.R.
"Two operatives? You're kidding. You're kidding, right?"
Numbuh 4 spoke. "Uh, look. We're having a bad day. Two of our members are off on another mission, and one of us is stuck in her room; so maybe you could just, ya know, go easy on us, 'kay?"
The two were immediately shot with electricity, making their skeletons visible. "No," said Bright Idea. He then proceeded to rush off. The two operatives immediately collapsed on the floor. The power to the base also went off, shutting down the lights.
The two operatives, charred and beaten beyond all belief, returned to the base. "That was the worst mission we've ever been on," Numbuh 1 said.
"Yer tellin' me?" Numbuh 4 said. "I'm gonna go get somethin' ta eat." But when he opened up the fridge, he came across a horrifying sight. "Fruit! Vegetables! Everywhere! Who put those there?!"
Numbuh 3 walked in, Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey in stow, and said "I diiid!" in a singsong voice.
"What?! Why?!"
"We were too full of gross food. That stuff isn't even healthy. This stuff will help us grow better!"
Numbuh 3 pulled the string on the Monkey. "An Apple a day keeps the doctor away!"
Numbuh 4 growled. "Uh, Numbuh 4?" asked Numbuh 3. "Are you okay?"
Numbuh 4 pinned Numbuh 3 to the wall. "Who are you and what have you done to the real Numbuh 3?!"
"Uh…I am the real Numbuh 3."
"Of course yer not, and I can prove it! What's Numbuh 3's favorite toy?"
"Haha, Rainbow Monkeys, silly!"
"AHA! I gotcha there, faker! The real Numbuh 3's favorite toys are Rainbow Monkeys!" Numbuh 4 laughed for a while…then his face changed as a startling realization came over him. "…wait, what?"
"Numbuh 4, you're starting to scare me. Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm not crazy! But maybe yer crazy!"
Numbuh 3 gasped, tears filling her eyes.
"Wait! What I meant was-"
Numbuh 3 started crying and ran off to her room.
"Smooth move, Numbuh 4," Numbuh 1 said.
"Hey! You saw what she was doin'! Watchin' the news, stayin' in her room, eatin' health foods: somethin' is wrong with her!"
"Now, now. There's probably a logical explanation for this."
"Like what?"
"Mind control, of course! Some unseen force must be trying to control her, thus turning her against us. I'm going to go analyze Numbuh 3 before this force gets to the rest of us."
"What should I do?"
"I dunno." Numbuh 1 then walked off.
Numbuh 4 simply sat down. He then got back up. "Bored now. Imma go play a game!" He then ran off to the game room.
Numbuh 4 pushed the buttons on the controller. He made his giant robot fire upon other giant robots with full force power. However, as he played, a sudden thought came to mind.
"I HAFTA PEE!" he said, rushing outside the room. As he passed the hallway, he made his way to the stairs. He did not, however, notice the Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey on one of the higher stairs, so when he rushed down the stairs, he tripped on it and fell all the way down. "OWW!" he screamed, alerting Numbuh 3.
"What's wrong, Numbuh 4?" she said, forgetting all that had happened before.
When Numbuh 4 looked at Numbuh 3, it was a look of rage. "Whydja leave yer doll on the stairs?!"
"I don't remember doing that!"
"Whadya mean you didn't put it there? How else would it have gotten there?! But why'd ya hafta put it there?" Then a creeping realization came over him. "Unless… you were tryin' ta kill me!"
"What? Why would I want to do that?"
"That doll, that's why! That thing's fillin' yer head with bad thoughts, makin' you completely different! It's turnin' you into somethin' yer not! That's why we gotta get rid of that thing!"
Numbuh 4 charged towards the doll, but Numbuh 3 picked it up. "NO!" She screamed. "You helped me get this doll because you wanted to be a good friend! Now you want to get rid of it?! You're a…a…A MEAN-MEANIEPANTS!"
Numbuh 4 was shocked. How could she stoop that low?
"I'm going to bed, far away from YOU!" And thus Numbuh 3 stormed off to her room.
Numbuh 4 looked on. "That doll's gotta go…no matter the cost."
11:00PM. Numbuh 4 was in his room. However, he woke up suddenly, sensing something was wrong. Numbuh 3 was in her room, having gone to bed at an unusual time. Around 9:00. On Friday! Numbuh 4 saw an opportunity and smiled as he prepared to stop that doll.
Numbuh 4 entered the armory, where he picked up a…
Kids Next door: F.L.A.S.H. (Fully Lasatronic Attack Sword Hurts)
…a flashlight converted into a laser blade. He walked off to Numbuh 3's room, moving slowly. When he got to the door, he put his ear up to it to see if he could hear anything. He did: it was a voice that sounded like…the Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey?
When Numbuh 4 opened the door, his worst fears were confirmed: on the bed, the Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey was standing on its own, talking to a sleeping Numbuh 3. It constantly repeated a subliminal message: "Adults are perfect. Adults are flawless. Adults never make mistakes."
Numbuh 4 couldn't believe his eyes. That doll, standing on its own, was delivering untrue messages to his best-in-no-way-more-than-just-a friend. The sheer sight of it caused him to let out a scream.
This, however, alerted the Rainbow Monkey. "Hiiiii," It said. "My name is Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey, and I don't like you at all." Numbuh 4 shivered. "And you know what? Neither does Kuki. Wouldn't it make her so happy if she just suddenly disappeared? I think she'd like that. I think she'd like that a lot. Heehee…heeheehee…HAHAHAHAHA!"
Numbuh 4 turned on his F.L.A.S.H. "Over my dead body," he said.
"That's the idea!" The Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey jumped onto Numbuh 4's face, causing him to drop his F.L.A.S.H. It then started to move lower and lower on his face, covering his mouth and nose. Numbuh 4 grabbed onto the Monkey and tried to pull it off, but it didn't work. It just had too good of a grip. He then remembered that the best way to stop this sort of thing is to go for the limbs, so he grabbed onto the Monkey's limbs one by one and pulled them off, causing it to fall to the floor. However, it grabbed hold of the F.L.A.S.H., and began to chase Numbuh 4 around the treehouse, him screaming all the way.
Numbuh 4 went through a hall, hoping to lose the Monkey, but it was waiting for him right at the end. He then tried to go down the stairs nearest to him, but it held onto an inactive light at the bottom and dropped down.
Eventually, he found himself in the computer room, which was pretty much a dead end. Numbuh 4 backed up onto the computer as the doll moved closer and closer. However, he soon realized that he was near a fire alarm repurposed into an intruder alarm, so he pulled down the lever. This caused the emergency lights to flare up and sent Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 3 to the room, weapons in hands.
Numbuh 3 was shocked at what she saw: her Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey was pinning Numbuh 4 to a wall. "Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey!" she screamed. "You're alive?"
"Oh, darn. I was hoping you wouldn't notice," it said.
"What…what are you trying to do to Wally?"
"I thought you didn't like him. I'm just doing you a favor."
"But I really like Wally! He's my teammate! And my friend! And my-"
"But what about all the mean things he said to you? All the times he's tried to make you into a worse person? He's a bad influence, and we can't have that…can we?"
All of a sudden, the Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey was completely shot down by a barrage of laser fire, and as a result powered down. The boys realized the blasts came from Numbuh 3's weapon. "Do NOT hurt my friends. Especially not Wally."
"Wow," Numbuh 1 said, "you're girlfriend's really scary."
Numbuh 4 took offense. "She is NOT…my…girlfriend! She's a girl and she's my friend, but she's not my GIRLFRIEND!"
"I'm certain." Something caught Numbuh 1's eye. He picked up what was left of the doll and saw something on its foot. "I think I may know who had a hand in this."
The next day, at Toys Be We, the salesman who sold the Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey was continuing to sell the same doll in droves. Numbuh 1, Numbuh 3, and Numbuh 4 were nearby.
"I say we punch that jerk's lights out," Numbuh 4 said.
"In front of everyone?" Numbuh 3 said.
"Since when have we been good with the system? The system of adults?"
"Don't worry," Numbuh 1 said, "I have a plan." He then walked up to the salesman. "Ah, good day, Mister Adult Sales Person, sir! My friend bought one of your Cherry Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey thingies the other day, and she's been a whole new person; maybe even better!"
The salesman was stumped. "She is? I mean…of course she is! That's the power of the Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey!"
"Yes, indeed! I'd like to thank you for really helping out her family. Put 'er there!" Numbuh 1 held out his hand. The salesperson quickly shook it. "I'll be sure to tell everyone about you!"
When he got back to the rest of his team, Numbuh 4 asked him "Now what?"
"Now," Numbuh 1 said, "we wait…and follow." On the salesperson's hand was now a tracer that Numbuh 1 had planted. Things would fall into place.
At a secret base, the salesperson laughed maniacally. "I knew making that doll was the best decision of my life! Money down the handle, children becoming less annoying, and now everyone's gonna know about it, so I'm gonna earn more money! And the only thing it cost me was my beautiful moustache, but that's a small price to pay!"
"Maybe you should've thought about prices before you went into the bootlegging industry, CHESTER!" It was Numbuh 1, with Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 with him, weapons in hand.
"The Kids Next Door?! Is there anything you won't ruin?!"
Numbuh 1 gestured at him and said, "You had to be a bigshot, didn't you? You knew that since no one would pay attention to the designs of a criminal, you simply manufactured that Rainbow Monkey yourself. You couldn't find any store that would accept your design since it was unlicensed, so you sold it the old fashion way: like a used car salesman. An ugly, stupid, used car salesman. Of course, when the Rainbow Monkey Corporation comes in, they're gonna sue you into oblivion, and thus you'd lose all your money and get thrown back in the slammer." Chester growled. "I wonder what would happen if a concerned customer gave them a heads-up."
"That's not gonna happen, Brats Next Door! Rainbow Monkey Army…ATTACK!" A full troop of unlicensed Rainbow Monkeys charged at the operatives, but since they were so cheaply made a single laser blast was all it took to dismantle them. Numbuh 1 neared a console and found a phone. "No!," cowered Chester, "D-don't do that! I'll lose everything!"
Numbuh 1 picked up the handset, dialed a number, and put his head to the handle. "Hello, Rainbow Monkey Corporation? Do you know there's an unlicensed vendor of Rainbow Monkeys? Oh, yeah. And they added electronics, too. I trust you can do something about it. Bye!"
"NO!" Chester screamed. "If I can't win, you can't either!" He then pushed a button on the console, thus causing all the Rainbow Monkey dolls to self-destruct. "THERE! HAHAHA! Now they can't sue me! You don't have any evidence!"
"Oh, then we'll just put you in the Arctic Prison," Numbuh 1 said.
"That's right! …wait, what?"
The team found themselves back at Toys Be We. "Sure was nice of them ta give us back our money for the Rainbow Monkey," Numbuh 4 said. "Now I know not to pick up that Ultimate Prime Superion figure. Too many sounds could brainwash me!"
"Actually, Numbuh 4, that thing is an official license, so the worst they're gonna do is brainwash you to buy more toys, which you already do anyway," Numbuh 1 said.
"Wait, so you mean that I can buy that thing without a problem? Awesome!" And thus Numbuh 4 charged off to the isle. However, when he looked at where it was before, the figure was long gone. "What?! Where'd it go?"
A teenager in a Destructicon shirt spoke up. "He sold out, dude. He's a very popular figure. You can get him on eBid, though."
"Really? How much is it?"
"'bout a hundred bucks."
"O-O-ONE HUNDRED?! I can't pay that!"
"Maybe you should try the Pony Puff figures instead. That show's really good."
"…aww, never mind!"
End Transmission
This was my first story where I hired an in-house editor. Considering the story was well-received on the KND Fan Forum, it seems to have worked out.
""Okay, you've had yer fun. Let's go check out the Mech Changers line!"" Mech Changers is based off two things. Firstly, it's obviously based off Transformers. The second thing it's based off is one of Cartoon Network's existing parodies of Transformers, Mech Animals. Mech Animals appeared for a few seconds as a show the Powerpuff Girls were watching. At this point in time, the series is set in early 2006 (given the series timeline), so they're likely watching a parody of something in the Unicron Trilogy.
""My name is Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey, and I love you very much," the strange doll said." The Cheery Chatterbox Rainbow Monkey is based off Talky Tina from The Twilight Zone.
""Mech Changers will return in a moment, only Toonami," spoke a cool robotic voice." Again, since this is set in 2006, the show plays on Toonami, specifically the late TOM 3 era. This was made one year before Toonami returned for real. I still can't believe that happened!
"She immediately hit the channel onto a news station with a dull reporter and text that stated Bores News 24/7." Bores News has a parody of the Fox News logo in its corner. It's not biased, it's just very boring. I toyed around with the reporter having Ben Stein's voice or Britt Hume's voice.
""Kids Next Door, your video gaming, TV watching, power wasting days are over! Now you face…BRIGHT IDEA!"" Bright Idea occasionally appeared as a background character. Here, I fleshed out his role a little and gave him an MO. He's a representation of the parent who takes away your TV and Video Game privileges.
"He made his giant robot fire upon other giant robots with full force power." Numbuh 4 is likely playing a Gundam Versus Series game, probably one of the only two that were released in the US.
""But I really like Wally! He's my teammate! And my friend! And my-"" I try to keep the 3/4 relationship as teasing as possible. This is the reason the forum really liked it.
"You knew that since no one would pay attention to the designs of a criminal, you simply manufactured that Rainbow Monkey yourself." Remember, Chester has been thrown into prison at least once. The Editor really liked my method of defeating him. I really liked using Chester. He's underused. Everyone's too busy focusing on Father and the Delightfuls and the Teen Ninjas. Show some love for the lesser used villains!
""Maybe you should try the Pony Puff figures instead. That show's really good."" Cross between the show Dee Dee watches on Dexter's Lab and MLP:FiM. I might do a story sometime with Rainbow Monkeys instead of ponies based off the phenomena.