Title: Dare to take a peek when tomorrow taps at your door

Rating: PG

Name: StarrySkies

Summary: When tension between Harm and Mac comes to a boiling point, Harm takes some time to seriously think about his future with some help from a mysterious source.

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG, CBS and Donald Bellisario do. This brings me no profit, I'm just a shipper having some fun. Don't sue me, I've got nothing to take, you can have a penny though.

AN: This is going to be a long on going story, I'm not sure how many parts there will be. Please no flames, this is my second fanfic. Enjoy and thanks to ShipperGirl100 for beta reading!

Part 1

October 13th, 2004

In Harm's car en route to JAG headquarters

0730

The weather had turned, and Autumn was definately in the air now. The sun was out and the air was crisp as Harm drove to work in the morning. He sighed loudly to himself, as he tried tried to concentrate on the traffic while his mind was on other things.

He had been feeling frustrated lately, and was at the point now where something had to be done.

Four months had passed since Webb had been found alive, and Mac had broken it off with him. Harm had given Mac her space to come to terms with all she had been through. He had hoped in time they would get back to rebuilding the great friendship they once had, but that just wasn't happening. Mac was still cold and distant to Harm. He had asked her to join him for dinner a few times, but she always declined, usually with the excuse she was tired after her long day and just wanted to go home alone to relax.

Harm did have dinner with Alicia a couple times, but all that did was reinforce in him the feeling that he had to figure this thing out with Mac one way or another. Harm realized he cannot give himself to another woman, or move ahead in his life because he is in love with Mac. He also realized though, that he cannot stay stuck in his life any longer, not able to pursue the things he wants, because of his love for Mac.

He wanted to be married now, have children and settle down. He wanted all that with Mac, but that hope was fading dim, and if it wasn't to be with Mac he had to find out now, so he could finally attempt to move on.

Harm was so lost in thought that he sat through a green light. The cars behind him honked angrily.

"This woman has me so preoccupied I am missing lights now." he said to himself.

He paid attention until the light turned green, and then continued to drive on auto-pilot the rest of the way to work. His thoughts filled with how exactly he was going to figure out if he should continue waiting and hoping Mac would turn around and want him too. How would he do that?

Then his thoughts turned into missing Mac...his old friend Mac. The Mac before Paraguay, and even before that, when they used to have dinners together, laugh together and teasingly flirt with one another. Where had that Mac gone? She had been gone so long Harm couldn't remember exactly when that Mac had left. She was always so sad or angry now. It hurt Harm to see her like that, and he wanted his old Mac back.

Harm pulled into the JAG Headquarters parking lot. His head beginning to hurt from all the intense thinking he had done on the way to work.

Frustrated he thought to himself,"Thats it! I cannot go on like this anymore. I will figure out if Mac and I do have a future together, and if I can bring back my old Mac, if I can make her happy again. If not, then I solemnly vow to myself that I will let Mac go and move ahead in my life once and for all!"

Relieved, satisfied and feeling once again in control, Harm exited his car and headed into work. He was on a mission and determined, nothing was going to stop him now.

JAG Headquarters

0800

"Good morning, Commander!" Bud said happily as Harm walked by him in the bullpen.

"Good morning." Harm replied with a smile on his face, and he walked into his office.

Harm shut the door behind him and sat down at his desk to go through mountains of paperwork. He had a long day in court starting at 1000 this morning and needed to get all his case papers ready.

An hour later, he looked up from his desk to see Mac walk past his office. She had the expression she always wore now, solemn and steadfast. He remembered the days when Mac would have at least looked through his window and smiled and waved at him, even if she didn't come in to say good morning.

Harm spun around in his chair to look out the window. He saw the gold and orange leaves falling to the ground and said to quietly to himself, "I am going to need more help with figuring this whole thing out than I thought."

After a few moments of intense thought while staring out the window, he turned back around to face his paperwork. He would shelf he and Mac's issues for now, and come back to them later when he could give their situation his full attention.

TBC