Author's note: I know what your thinking- this isn't ice cream Sunday! Never fear, I am almost at editing phase of the last chapter and it will be up soon. This is a multi-chap story that I've been kicking around in my head for a while, and focuses on all the kickass (or potentially kickass) girls in the palm woods. Though there are still plenty of BTR shenanigans… once again this follows my joint continuity with HalfJillHalfJack, and ties in a lot with previous events from my story Big Time Break up. Though it's not a necessary read (though you know please do read it if you haven't) just know Logan and Jo are friends, Logan and Camille are back together and Jo and Kendall are in a weird place romantically.

Any who- (wow long author's note is long) please enjoy!

"Okay wait slow down- I'm not following anymore!" Jo complained stopping the recording and rewinding. "Were you ever following?" Camille asked snappily, reaching over and stealing the bowl of chips that was resting in Jo's lap. "Ladies" Logan said sternly from his seat on the couch (between them to prevent unpleasantness) "you can't fight while a game is in progress- it's basic etiquette, at least wait until a designated break."

"That would be half time?" Camille asks "or when a fight breaks out on the ice- cause you know if they're gonna set a bad example…" Logan grinned widely at her. Jo pressed play and tried to follow the players as they moved across the ice, but she lost sight of the puck again. "Damn it!" she sunk into the couch, pulling at her hair uselessly.

Logan patted her comfortingly on the head, "don't worry Jo, I didn't get it either at first" she sulked. "I just don't see the appeal of this game- no offense" Logan shot her a lopsided smile "none taken, anyway this is the sort of thing that grows on you- you just need proper exposure is all."

Camille glared intently at the screen "PASS THE PUCK! PASS THE PUCK YOU IDIOT!" she threw a pillow at the TV, narrowly missing. "Though some people do take to it immediately" Logan whispered to Jo. He looked sadly at the screen "this is a pre-recording of last months game… he doesn't pass the puck."

"And you actually find all this… enjoyable?" Jo asked Camille incredulous, Camille rolled her eyes taking Logan's drink from his hand and taking a long sip. "It's way better than when dad wants to watch cricket" Logan scoffs "I know! Cricket couldn't be a less contact spor-SMASH HIM! God ref! foul! That was such a foul! What are you, blind?"

Logan gave his girlfriend a long assessing look "you" he gave her a flirty smile "have no idea how attractive I find you right now." Camille leaned back on the couch casting him a mischievous smile "prove it."

"Don't!" Jo pulled Logan away and embraced him from behind, holding him in place "I just steam cleaned this couch!" Logan snickered, allowing the blonde girl to hold him for a moment before Camille reached out, retching him out of her embrace. "Jo" Camille started, her tone sweet and poisonous "what is the girl version of a cock blocker?"

"Twat swatter" Logan replies almost immediately "though in this case I think 'cock blocker' is still the suitable phrase." The girls gaped, open mouthed at him and Logan turned a brilliant red "it's English slang" he mumbled. "Is it?" Jo asked condescendingly, Logan sulked "watch the game Taylor."

Jo's eyes snapped back in time to see two large men slam into the man with the puck; Logan had called them 'enforcers.' Camille let out another whoop of approval; Jo crinkled up her nose is disgust "it's all… so… violent" she scowled darkly.

"Oh and Judo is all about peace and tranquillity- Kendall has a scar from the first time you two 'spared' together." She rolled her eyes at the boy next to her "well no… but I didn't start watching Judo until I enjoyed participating in judo," she told him snappily.

"I considered teaching you hockey" he admitted "but after the problems I had teaching you ice skating" she glared "hey! I was awesome at ice skating- it was the ice that was the problem." He laughed at her "the 'fresh' ice was the problem?" Camille giggled and Jo shot her a nasty glare, "Oh yeah Roberts well I heard-"

Logan's phone beeped loudly, cutting them off "oh no" he smirked "don't stop, this is endlessly entertaining." Logan picked up his phone flipping it open, "any bets?" Camille asked in a mock whisper earning her a glare from her boyfriend. "Oh I bet it's James- he's so needy when he's having a bad hair day."

"Impossible" Camille replied, "James doesn't have bad hair days- plus we all know its Kendall" she wiggled her eyebrows at Jo. "What? no" Jo said self assured "oh please- you think James is needy? Kendall has no boundaries, it's totally Kendall!"

They both turned to Logan expectedly "I'm not playing your vicious little game" he told them, though his resolve was already wavering. The both launched at him trying to grab the phone, he held it high above his head "huh" he said in smug victory "I'm the tallest person here- that never happens!"

"Just tell us" Camille whined, tugging at his shirt "fine" he sighed bringing his hands down to check. "It's Kendall" he cast Jo a sympathetic look and Camille cheered "victory!" she yelled and flopped back down on the couch.

"So that's… SIX for Kendall… five for James, three for Carlos and two from…" she trailed of unsurely "Kelly" Logan supplied helpfully. Both girls balked "Kelly?" they both asked in unison (one with a little more feeling than the other) "why is she texting you on your day off?" Camille shrieked making another grab for his phone, his hands flew up again "oh don't start with me Mitchell" she told him seriously "I will climb you if I have too!"

"It's not like that" he told her backing up, flicking through his history "it's her day off as well- she was having trouble with her computer, I was just helping." He showed her the offending texts and Camille calmed down, "okay" she said finally. "It makes sense," Jo told her "I mean who would she ask, Gustavo?"

Camille giggled "oh totally, they're so together!" Logan looked physically sick in response "that's gross- why would you even say that?" Jo smirked at him "it's all in the subtext" Logan rolled his eyes. "Subtext is usually fabricated or taken out of context, look at our relationship," he pointed at Jo "and how it could look taken out of context."

They both winced "kind of like what happened between Camille and James- Subtext can be dangerous when applied to real people." Camille snorted "that doesn't stop you from talking about the subtext between Rachel and John" Logan rolled his eyes "Oh Camille, New Town High isn't a real place."

"And they're totally getting together" Jo told them excitedly, Logan's face lit up he pumped his fist in triumph "yes! Called it!" he turned to her expectantly for details "they fall down a mine shaft" she explained "not even a broken arm could prevent their eventual hook up."

"A mine shaft?" Camille asked incredulously "how is I have no idea what's going on, on your show- just when think I can get on board with the ridiculous plot line of you pretty teens fighting evil vampires on a boat you fall down a mine shaft!" Jo grinned "it's not for a few episodes- we defeat the vampires and go camping" Camille stares at her hard "because that's exactly what I would do after I defeated evil vampires on a boat."

"Don't," Logan told her seriously "studies show there's a good chance you'll fall down a mine shaft" Jo nudged him "shut up." He grinned at her, "too bad about Rachel and John though" he sighed "I was really starting to warm up to the idea of Rachel and Cynthia getting together…" Jo smacked him again "they're sisters!" she screeched "what not that kind of show?" he asked innocently "but the sexual tension was undeniable- I told Kendall she was the one he'd have to worry about not Jett."

The phone went off again, "Kendall and James are tied again" he sighed, and texted something back. "Why don't you just tell them to stop for a while?" Jo asked "yeah- but then they would want to know what I was doing and that's just not going to happen."

"Why?" Camille asked curiously "Kendall will get all jealous and want to come over- which sort of puts an end to the surprise of Jo learning hockey and James will just pester me to suggest a threesome."

Camille perked up "no." he cut off whatever she might have planned to say, "aw you didn't even know what I was going to say" she whined. "I've known you long enough to have a good idea" he told her starchily "well it wasn't going to be about a threesome- you know I don't like sharing."

"Are you two having sex?" Jo asked in mild alarm, they had after all only gotten back together a few weeks. "Nah" Logan said without a trace of embarrassment "we were speaking hypothetically- but if James asks, we totally are." Jo snorted in disgust "is this one of those male peacocking things?"

"No it was my idea" Camille told her "he makes some pretty hilarious faces whenever we imply we are." Camille snicked and Logan pulled a rather amusing face, which must be an imitation of the one James pulled. "He tried to simultaneously threaten me about touching his friend and high five me" Logan laughed, "He was very conflicted."

The phone beeped again "Oh God!" Jo cried, "What are you their heroin? Can't they go a couple hours without you?" Logan shrugged "that's just the way it is" he shrugged "it's always been, you'd understand if you had really close friends."

Jo and Camille shared a look.

**********-_BTR_-*************

A few days later Camille and James were lounging by the pool, Camille laid out casually on the deck chair and James sat by her side, diligently painting her nails a bright red to match her red flamenco dress. "Why didn't I get the part?" she moaned, James shrugged "can you dance the flamenco?" he asked curiously "well… no, but it's pretty similar to ballroom right?"

James shrugged, he pulled back from her hand "there!" he said brightly "it's perfect" Camille admired her hands, she had to admit, they were perfect. James had the hands of a surgeon- nothing like when tomboy Jo attempted to paint them (the paint always ended up smudged on her elbow for some reason.)

"Awesome" she confirmed, eying her smoothie that was sitting on the small table by her chair. She reached out and… James smacked her hand. "Let the colour set!" he then leant over and picked up the smoothie, holding it close to her mouth so she could take a sip.

"I feel pampered" she beamed "this is nothing" James assured her "you should go to the Clearwater health spa, that's where me and the guys went last week." She almost chocked on her straw "and when you say 'the guys' you mean?" she asked hesitantly, James smirked "I mean the guys! It was my turn to decide what to do that weekend- btw your boyfriend has a new love of massages."

"I'll file that way" she promised, "I'm sure you will" James told her with a lude smile, though he was getting that conflicted look in his eye again "what about the other guys?" she asked quickly. James snorted, his body relaxed "Kendall went crazy for that 'seaweed wrap' thing, I think when we're famous- like famous as in rich and famous he'll get one like every week."

"Hey guys" Jo said walking up to them, she took in Camille's flamboyant outfit and James' iron grip on Camille's nail polishes. "Having some girl time?" she asked jokingly, James gave her a serious look "don't you know it's girl time?"

Carlos sprang out of the pool "what time is it?" he asked James grinning mischievously, James checked his watched dramatically in mock surprise "why- it's girl time!" A voice called out from the other side of the pool "what about when you have a sinus infection? Isn't that doctor time?"

James and Carlos shared a horrified look "No!" they chorused at Logan "it's still GIRL TIME!"

"Don't you know it's girl time" they sang and then cracked up. James beckoned Logan over, and Carlos stretched out on the warm brick.

"Hey babe" Logan said to Camille affectionately leaning down to kissed her on the cheek. "Hey!" James cried looking affronted "I called you over! Not her!" Logan rolled his eyes; he leaned over and kissed James on the forehead then gave him a flirtious look. "Hey sweetheart."

James spluttered going red "dude!" he complained and Logan cackled, "oh! Do me! I wanna pet name!" Carlos cried jumping up and down, Logan gave him a thoughtful look "hey sweetie."

Carlos grinned widely; Jo stared at Logan with a mostly amused expression "well" she drawled, "I guess every boyband needs the gay one." James laughed loudly putting down the nail polishes, Logan rolled his eyes "I wouldn't laugh if I were you James after all I wasn't the one who signed up to an online matchmaker service and got a perfect match score with Carlos."

James shut up abruptly "that was a malfunction!" he screeched, launching himself at Logan "too bad" he laughed "I'd be a kick ass best man."

"I think you still win though Logan" Carlos told him giggling "remember when that girl you liked- Janet, thought you and Kendall were dating!" Logan went red "that was a stupid misunderstand" he insisted, "whatever" James told him, helping him up "Carlos and I thought up an awesome celebrity mash up name for you: Hordell… though I suppose now you'd guys would be Lodell."

Carlos was in tears from laughter "Oh! And we had Kentense what would that be now? Kendogan?"

Logan glared heatedly, his face flushing as Camille giggled along with the rest of them "I wouldn't be so quick to mash names Jarlos!" he told them, their laughter cut off "anyway the answers obvious; it's Kogan."

"What's a Kogan?" Kendall asked strolling up to them, looking vaguely curious about what all the laughter was about. This only seemed to set off a new round of laughter.

"Don't worry about it sweetie" Jo told him, moving over so Kendall could sit down, Camille pulled Logan up to sit with her and James and Carlos were left floundering on the floor. "Aw you guys really are Jarlos" Camille teased; James threw her nail polish at her.

"Oh!" she said excitedly "Logan let me paint your nails black!" Logan shook his head furiously "no way! Mrs Knight already looks at me suspiciously after we asked to borrow hers that one time." James rolled his eyes "which is super hypocritical since she was the one who dressed you up as a Barbie doll that other time."

Logan glared "I was trying to block that particular memory from my mind" Kendall patted Logan on the back, "because you were in drag?" Logan shook his head "because I got beat up by a mob of angry girls."

Jo and Camille shrugged at each other- it must be another inside joke they didn't understand. It seemed like they were on the outside of those more and more.

**********-_BTR_-*************

"Do you ever think they're to close?" Jo asked absentmindedly watching James and Carlos play a game of extreme tag in the lobby, while Mr Bitters ran after them trying to prevent any major catastrophes. Camille looked up from her magazine and watched the boy's race around "maybe?" She picked up her largely forgotten script, which she and Jo had originally planned to rehearse. "Maybe it just feels that way because we're not really close."

Jo and Camille's eyes met "quick- what's my favourite colour?" Camille asked hurriedly "easy pink, what mine?" Jo asked "even easier- blue! Okay who was my first kiss?"

Jo looked thoughtful for a moment "your next door neighbour when you were twelve- his name was Bobby… Something." Camille grinned nodding "okay I don't even need to think about this one- you were acting in 'Gentle Giants' as the young Tiffany Winters- I used to love that show!"

Jo flushed "that was my first acting job- I was so nervous" Camille patted her on the knee "it was Tiffany's first kiss too- you were supposed to look nervous." Jo smiled at her gratefully "my uncle owned the restaurant they were shooting a few scenes in- he suggested me and apparently I looked enough like the part!"

"And that's how you got into acting? I always knew I wanted to be an actress" Camille told her, Jo laughed, "I believe you!"

"Okay so what are my grades like?" Camille's smile wavered and she tried to guess "your on a B average?" Jo winced "I'm averaging a C+ right now- hours have been crazy… but your on an A right?" Camille nodded "dating Logan is good for my average- did you know when he says he wants to go on a study date he actually means studying?"

"Wow your dad must love him" Jo giggle "oh yeah, he's hoping I'll marry him and get over all this silly acting stuff when he becomes a doctor." She rolled her eyes "he's not thrilled that he and James are best friends though- he wants me to 'stay as far away from that James character as possible' stupid huh?"

Both girls shared a smile, "we're good friends right?" Camille asked "best friends" Jo corrected her and they clasped hands, swinging them between them.

James suddenly stopped in front of them, staring intently. Carlos, who had been chasing him at the time, ran into him and they both clattered loudly onto the floor. "Ow!" Carlos yelled, "Why did you stop?" James put his hand over his mouth "they're snuggling- and as you know, at least 70% of all snuggling leads to making out!"

Carlos rolled his eyes "that's stupid, we hug all the time and I don't want to kiss you!" James rolled his eyes; slowing down his words as if he were talking to a toddler "I said snuggling not hugging!"

"Well- um Logan and Kendall were snuggling when we watched Lord of the Rings last night- they weren't kissing!" Carlos said triumphantly "not that you saw" James told him snarkily "anyway that's not snuggling either- they were asleep, Logan says your body searches for body heat in your sleep."

"Oh" Carlos said defeated he turns to the girls "are you going to kiss?" he asked curiously, "no!" Jo said annoyed, Carlos studied them "hey" he said to James slowly "have you ever noticed their sort of girl versions of Logan and Kendall?"

James nodded, "oh yeah!" Camille watched them amused "what?" James nodded "think about it, Jo and Kendall are practically the same person!" he waved a hand at Jo "which puts our attempts to win you over when you first came here into a disturbing new light."

Carlos cocked his head at Jo "I think you and Kendall are actually wearing the same shirt today" Jo pulled at her plaid shirt embarrassed. "It's not just about looks" her face heated up "of course not" James told her "that would make us superficial, and we all know I'm all about what's on the inside."

Carlos snorted but James ignored him in favour of ticking off their similar qualities "quick to anger, easily jealous…" he started "ENOUGH!" Jo yelled, James rolled his eyes "you're both very loyal and good leaders" he added. Jo frowned; she didn't like this game at all.

"What about me?" Camille asked excitedly "your both… really considerate" Carlos said finally "quick to jump to conclusions, easily offended, over emotional" James added. Camille jumped up and slapped him.

"Yeah just like that" James told her gleefully, rubbing his cheek "and" Carlos said, letting Camille sit back down in a huff "you're both best friends!"

James snapped his fingers "that's why you guys aren't as awesome as friends as us" he gave them a smug look. "You don't have a Carlos or a James."

"And we're the best two" Carlos added helpfully.

**********-_BTR_-*************

Jo and Camille laid on their stomachs on Camille's bed, flipping through the yearbook. Jo turned the page and snickered at Camille's liberal use of love hearts around Logan's face. "Focus Jo" Camille glared at her; she didn't understand why Jo thought declarations of love were supposed to be embarrassing. Maybe that's why Jo didn't get when Kendall took her on those romantic dates he always had planned.

"We need to find our Carlos" Camille said thoughtfully, tracing her fingers over the print, Jo raised her eyebrow "we're not looking for a James?" James and Camille got along like a house on fire- she thought Camille would be looking for a James first.

"He called me over emotional" she said darkly "there will be no James…" Jo bit her lip to fight off the laughter, 'way to prove him wrong' she thought. "I guess we don't really need 'the face' I mean we're girls- we win by default" Camille snickered "don't let James hear you say that- he thinks he's prettier than everybody."

"What else is James about?" Asked Jo curiously "he's all about the ambition" Camille supplied "there's other stuff, but ambition is what effects his every move." Jo laughed, "So he's a bit like you… hey! Maybe you should be James!" Camille smacked Jo with the pillow "No! I'm Logan, not James!" she looked fairly stubborn on the matter, Jo sighed, it would have been so much easier to find a well meaning genius than a pretty girl with a heart of gold.

"Well… I guess Logan's pretty driven too, he does want to be a doctor" Jo said finally- if Camille wanted to be a doctor the way she wanted to be an actor… she'd probably be in college by now. Jo figures that's where Logan would be if he wasn't so busy being in a boy band. "Hey… do you think dating people similar to ourselves is narcissistic?"

"Nah" Camille said, "We're not really that alike." She gave Jo her 'I'm about to be clever so pay attention' face "so there is this thing called the four humours- it has to do with how they used to think the body worked but that's not so important." Jo snorted and Camille glared at her "let me finish my story!" she whined, Jo gestured for her to continue.

"So they represent four fluids in the body" she began "wait what?" Jo asked, "I take back everything I thought about you being a doctor." Camille glared "the theory is from ancient times, shut up! So the four fluids were blood, black bile, yellow bile and phlegm."

"Why are there two different types of bile?" Jo asked, "Why are you two different types of annoying me!" Jo shrunk back "fine." She pouted and Camille ignored her "so the four temperaments are; shy and pragmatic- the Logan, impulsive like Carlos, Sensitive like James or Ambitious like Kendall."

"Wait I thought James was ambitious" Jo said, Camille sighed "okay my theory isn't perfect- they're a lot of ways to separate the four humours which is why we can be in the same humour bracket as our boyfriends without being identical."

"There is something very familiar about those character types… Camille… is Big time rush the ninja turtles?" Jo asked clueless, Camille sighed, "I feel like you missed the point" Jo crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue. "I feel like you didn't have a point" Camille hit her with a pillow (her new favourite weapon of choice.) "No wait… explain that bit about being humorous again" Jo told her through the giggles, "never mind" Camille muttered darkly "your clearly are a lost cause."

"Come on- I'm not a lost cause, I even let you girlify me sometimes" Jo told her teasing, Camille grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Thanks for reminding me" she pulled out a set of tweezers and gave Jo a predatory look. "No!" Jo shrieked holding up her hands, "come on Jo" Camille said advancing on her "friends let friends shape their eyebrows!"

Camille pounced and there was a brief struggle, ending with Jo predictably manoeuvring away- she wasn't a Judo champion for nothing. "You need arches" Camille grumbled, "no… you need some self control." Jo picked up the yearbook again, flicking through the page until she stopped on the girl who had been voted 'most sporty.'

"What about Shirley Grey?" Jo asked studying the blonde's face curiously "no way" Camille said firmly "she's dumber than a sack of hammers." Jo's eyebrows shot up "is… that a problem?" Jo didn't really know Shirley personally; she was mostly tutored after she got a part in a new up coming movie about fighting dragons and unicorns or something. "Only if you like talking to a sack of hammers" Camille sniggered.

Jo turned the page and her eyes landed on three familiar faces "How about a Jennifer?" Jo examined the flattering photograph of the blonde girl, "there are many problems with that suggestion." Camille told her "One it would require us to be friends with a Jennifer" Jo winced, Camille nodded and raised two fingers "two it would require us to separate the Jennifers- so far a feat only managed by the weather and Katie Knight- who is basically a force of nature anyway."

"Katie!" Jo yelled suddenly and excitedly "Katie isn't a Carlos or a James," she told Jo "plus she's planning to destroy you…" Jo's face fell "what?" Camille nodded gravely "apparently you are eating into precious sibling bonding time- I saw the schematics last time I was over" Jo recoiled in horror, Camille nodded "I'm just glad Logan doesn't have siblings."

"He has cousins" Jo told her snappily "and his dad is terrifying" Camille rolled her eyes "I'm going to ignore your scare tactics because it is obviously too late for you." Jo quivered "but what if I-" Camille shook head in a defeated manner "far, far too late for you…"

"What's number three?" Jo asked abruptly, voice strained "number three?" Camille asked curiously "about why we can't befriend the Jennifers." Camille scowled "well… our boyfriends showed a keen and persistent interest in dating them," she cross her arms "and forth and most importantly WE'D HAVE TO BEFRIEND THEM!"

"There's no other girl besides you that fits James' type- so unless you can think of someone?" Camille flicked through the book desperately "what about Rachel?" she pointed to the curly haired girl "yeah okay! Only be prepared to never talk to James again because you know she hates his guts since the dance."

Camille scowled "curse that pretty boy's raging libido!" Jo smirked, James had never really turned the charm on either of them (except for the serenading business that barely counted and the kiss that was most certainly not a real kiss.) though exposure the girls had built up a tolerance to James' ways, and barely noticed it anymore… until he broke someone's heart that was.

"So… the Jennifer's?" Jo asked dejectedly Camille nodded "which… one?"

They both looked away thoughtfully, "this" Camille sighed, "is going to require research."

"To the library" Camille shouted excitedly, "gee you really are a Logan" Jo snorted, Camille beamed "thanks!" Jo laughed slinging an arm around her friend "I have a different idea- but we're going to need to borrow the boys tree hats…"

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