This is going to be a relatively short story, it could even be seen as a small collection of vignettes, I suppose. It's basically just how I would like to see the entire sickening Sami/Lucas/Carrie/Austin mess get resolved at the end of this nightmarish train ride JER is forcing us on. Don't worry, there is a happy ending coming, I promise.

How could I ever find it,
The strength to let you go
'Cause I don't have it
When will I have it?
- Wilson Phillips "You Won't See Me Cry"

Lightning crackled across the dark sky.

All of Salem was illuminated with the crashing bolt of light, frozen in time.

Somewhere across town, a bride was anxiously awaiting the sunrise, which would herald in her wedding day.

Sami tried not to think about it.

Tried not to picture Carrie laying out her dress, running her hand over the soft fabric just one last time, before going to bed with a smile on her face.

Tried not to think about the fact that just across the hall, Lucas was probably laying out his tux.

Warm breath spilled across her neck, and soft lips trailed a path from her earlobe to her shoulder, and Sami closed her eyes, trying not to imagine those lips belonging to someone else. "You smell good," a husky voice whispered in her ear.

"New shampoo," Sami whispered, with just a little tremble.

"I like it," he replied, sniffing her hair. "You smell like flowers and strawberries."

Swallowing hard, Sami turned in his arms and opened her eyes, looking up at the handsome man who was holding her.

Austin Reed smiled down at her, eyes a little glossy from drinking, every bit as gorgeous and charming as she'd remembered. He'd aged some since his departure from Salem after their disastrous almost-wedding in Vegas, but he was the same man she'd daydreamed about marrying since she was fifteen. He was a good man, kind and gentle and affectionate.

Everything that a woman should want.

But he's not-

Desperate to stop herself from thinking of him, Sami threw her arms around Austin's neck and kissed him. His arms wrapped around her waist as he kissed her back hungrily, and she poured all of her turmoil into the kiss.

If she could just kiss him long enough, then maybe she would forget.

Maybe she could make herself love him.

Cold fingers touched the warm skin of her lower back and Sami started as she realized that Austin's hands were working their way up her back beneath her sweater.

She had the most ridiculous urge to pull away, but she shook it aside.

This is Austin, she reminded herself. You used to want him, you used to love him.

She pretended not to notice the past tense.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Sami forced her thoughts aside and focused on kissing Austin, on how his strong hands were gliding up her back and tugging her sweater up over her head. The fabric created static with her hair as it was removed, and Austin gave a soft laugh against her lips, affectionately smoothing her hair.

Then his hands were on her back again, fumbling with the clasp of her bra and she tried to make herself want this...

"No," she whimpered, reaching up a hand to still his.

Austin let his hand drop and pulled back, looking down at her with hurt confusion.

"No?" he echoed softly, his dark gaze searching hers.

"No," Sami whispered, tears welling in her eyes. "I can't. I... I'm sorry." She blinked, trying to banish her tears, but only served to cause them to slip past her eyelashes. "I'm sorry, Austin, I just... can't."

She waited for him to hate her, to get upset, but he just smiled sadly.

"I know," he told her gently, and wiped away a tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I guess... me, too."

They looked at one another for a long moment, and Sami realized that he did know. He knew that her heart still belonged to Lucas, that it always would, and he understood.

He'd been wishing she was Carrie just as much as she'd been wishing he was Lucas.

Austin picked up her sweater from where it had fallen on the floor and gestured for her to lift her arms. She did, and let him tug the sweater down over her head, adjusting it properly. "God," Sami said with a tearful laugh. "I never thought this would be happening."

"Yeah," Austin agreed with a faint smile. "I'm a little taken aback myself. I mean... you chased after me for years. We almost got married. Twice! I thought this was what I wanted. I thought this was what you wanted..."

"It was," Sami replied. "It's just different now. We're different."

Austin nodded his agreement, and reached out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I really do love you, Sami," he told her lowly. "It's just..."

"I know," Sami said, giving him a trembling smile. "I'm not Carrie."

"And I'm not Lucas," Austin concluded ruefully.

"We're really stupid, aren't we?" Sami asked with a sigh, and lowered herself onto the edge of her bed.

"Not stupid," Austin corrected with a lopsided smile. "Just not too bright."

Sami sniffled through a weak laugh, and reached up to wipe her eyes with the back of her sleeve. Austin sat down beside her, looking down at his clasped hands as if they could give him some kind of answer. They sat there in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts, each trying not to think of the man across the hall and the woman he was going to marry tomorrow.

It wasn't fair, Sami decided. It wasn't fair that she'd come so close to being happy, only to have it snatched away from her as always.

And she only ever had herself to blame.

But of all people for Lucas to be moving on with, why did it have to be Carrie?

Carrie had always been the perfect one, the one every girl wanted to be and every boy wanted to date. No one had ever really noticed her kid sister, not when she was always in Carrie's shadow, no one but Lucas.

All those years of fighting, they could have been happy if she'd just been honest with him.

They'd gone from best friends to enemies, and there had been so much anger and betrayal between them, but somehow they'd managed to get past all that. They'd found one another again, and this time they'd been older and wiser, and they'd realized that there was something there.

For the first time in a long time, Sami had truly had hope for a happily ever after.

But now that was gone.

Lucas was getting married in the morning, but not to her. He and Carrie would start a new family, they'd give Will the brothers and sisters he'd always wanted. He was angry at his father right now, because he wanted them to be a family again, but he'd get over the disappointment in time.

He'd learn to love having Carrie as a stepmother.

Eventually, he'd accept things like Sami had.

Carrie had chosen Lucas, even after learning that the test results that had led her to believe any child she had with Austin would be unhealthy had been "a lab mixup".

And Lucas wanted Carrie, not Sami, he'd made that perfectly clear.

There was nothing Sami could do about any of it.

"You know," Austin said slowly, staring at his hands intently. "We could stop the wedding."

Sami pursed her lips, but said nothing.

"You could tell Lucas how you really feel, that you still love him."

"No," Sami whispered.

"C'mon, Sami," Austin cried, turning his body to face her, and she saw a wild gleam in his eyes that she recognized all too well. "You love him. And he loves you. I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. You're the one he really wants. If you just tell him, we can-"

"Austin," Sami said firmly. "We can't."

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Because... because they're happy," Sami said softly, and tried not to cry. "They are, I've seen it. And Lucas can give Carrie the baby she so desperately wants." Austin opened his mouth to protest and she shook her head. "They're getting married tomorrow, and they're going to start a new life together," she swallowed back a quiet sob. "And for once in my life I am going to do the right thing and stay out of it."

"Sami..."

"Tomorrow I am going to stand up there beside my sister in that church," Sami vowed lowly, even as a tear trickled down her cheek. "And I am going to support her, and I'm going to smile even if it kills me." She turned her head to give him a pointed look. "And you're going to do the same for Lucas."

"What if I tell Carrie how I feel?" Austin suggested.

"You won't," Sami told him with a sad smile. "Because you know how much this means to her, and her happiness means more to you than your own, Austin."

For a long moment, Austin looked like he wanted to argue, but then he deflated and his shoulder slumped. The last trace of the lighthearted Austin the alcohol had brought out earlier faded now, and he looked so miserable that Sami's heart would have ached for him if it weren't already broken.

"Love sucks," Austin muttered.

"Yeah," Sami agreed. "It kind of does."

"I, uh..." Austin rose to his feet and ran a hand through his hair. "I guess I should get going then."

"It's late," Sami told him softly. "You can stay. The couch is comfortable enough."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," Sami said as he crossed her bedroom toward the door.

"Sami?" he said her name quietly as he paused in the open doorway. "Lucas doesn't know how stupid he was to ever let you go."

She forced a smile as he slipped out, closing the door behind him.

And then she laid down on her bed, pulling her pillow into her arms and cried herself to sleep.