Story: Disaster

Chapter: ONE SHOT

Book: Twilight

POV: Edward

Rated: K+

Author's Notes: Okay, so this is extremely random. I had the sudden urge to write a one shot about Twilight, but I didn't want to write anything that had the potential to turn into a short story. I decided to write about the moment right before Rosalie's unforunate call, and what was going through Edward's head. I hope you enjoy, and I'm sorry. The thoughts are a little... weird and confusing. I don't think I did my best of work. Sorry. Though, I do like the way it turned out. Beware of any errors - I'm not up to reading it over.

I watched the moon rise up to meet the stars. There was a cool breeze tonight, though, being a vampire, it didn't send chills running through me. Just feeling the wind brush over my face was enough. I was perched in a tall tree, watching the humans below. There weren't many here. It was only a small campsite placed in the middle of nowhere. Kids were seated around a campfire, roasting marshmallows, and the adults were either telling them stories or sleeping in the tents.

I wished so many times that I could sleep again. I would take the gift if not only once, just to dream of Bella, the girl I loved. Her face blurred my senses. I couldn't think I single word without remembering the sound of her voice or the softness of her hair. If only I was human, I wouldn't have to be here, hiding from my feelings for the person most important in my very existence. I remember like it was only yesterday. That day I told her I did not love her, I did not want her. What a joke! I should be sent to Hell just for letting such a lie escape through my cold lips. I never wanted anything more than I wanted her. Though, I wanted her to be safe, no matter what that entitled for me.

If I was human, I could be back in Forks as could my family. We could continue to live in the place we grew so fond of, and I… I could be with Bella. I could hold her, touch her, and smell her without risking the chance of killing her. The slightest touch… I did not dare to think where that could lead. Disaster.

Disaster was the very reason I had to leave. I could not stay. That's all our relationship could possibly bring in the end. Disaster for her and disaster to me. I would physically destroy her while seeing her still form on her death bed, that would destroy me mentally. I could not risk any of that, especially her. How selfish! If I could save her one way, the only way, I would take it. Nothing else mattered to me. My thoughts were so scrambled together. I couldn't even explain what I was feeling to myself nevertheless think of explaining them to Bella if I ever saw her again.

No. No, I could never see her again. It was be too tempting – even for me – to not pull her into my arms, and squeeze her to my chest. Besides, my feelings would probably be too strong that I could end up breaking her fragile form. That I could not bear, killing her without even biting her.

Bella mattered. I could not stress that enough. Yes, it was true. I couldn't live without her by my side. I knew that when I met her, and realized I love her. But I had to leave. I had to. She would be better off with Mike Newton – as much as I hated the guy. He could do so much for her. He could give her so many things that I could never. She could get married, have kids, and grow old with him. She could die with him. The way life was supposed to be. As long as she was happy, that would be enough. Dying the natural way is how I would be able to at least understand Bella's passing. No, I would not be able to continue this… whatever this was… without her. I accepted that. Besides, death… I've always welcomed it with arms spread in the past. If Bella died, it would be that much simpler to face it.

'She doesn't have to do this. I know I can take care of her,' a random thought entered my mind. I glance down at the campsite. The kids were still in their previous state, but something else caught my eye. A couple. They were standing in front of a tent – theirs, I believed – with their faces close together. They were probably having a serious conversation.

'Marcus, I'm sorry. I love you, I really do, but I need to do this. I want us to have a bright, happy future together. I'm doing everything I can to make sure that happens!' I heard the women speak to him through her thoughts.

'Amelia, isn't that supposed to be the man's job? I know I'll be able to provide for you. You don't need to work. I can feel it. Things are going to change for us this year, really. We'll have a ranch house, loads of crop, everything. Please, just trust me.' Marcus was pleading with her. I saw Amelia shake her head.

'I do trust you. I just… I don't want to worry.'

'Then, don't. I love you, Amelia, and I promise you that we will have that future you dreamed up in that pretty head of yours. No matter what problems we may face, no matter the sacrifices that may come along, and no matter what anyone says, I swear to you… we will make it,' I heard Marcus tell her before he pulled her into his arms, and kissed her. I looked away, not wanting to invade their privacy anymore. I couldn't even begin to tell myself how much I missed that. How much I missed comforting Bella and then pulling her into my own arms. Repeating the conversation in my head only brought a touch of anger to my thoughts.

I told myself all those months ago that this was the only way, the only path possible for Bella and me. We couldn't – shouldn't – be together. She's human and I'm a vampire. It was like basic math to me. We could never find a solution. I told myself that over and over and over again. I would not work between us.

Then, a realization struck me. I never once considered her feelings. I never once discussed anything with her. Communication was one of the strongest points in having a good relationship, and I blew it by deciding our fate on my own. Yes, I wanted her to be safe. Yes, I knew she would be a lot better of safe-wise if I was out of her life. No, I never thought to think about how she would take it. Bella is a stubborn woman. I knew she would throw her life away in a heartbeat, literally. Why does everything have to have plans? I knew she would enjoy taking every chance with me as much as I would tell her not to.

Could Bella and I try to find our solution together? If things got out of hand, I would take action, but that night… maybe I overreacted. No, I didn't overreact that night, but maybe moving away was a bit much. I had to have trust in our relationship, and I didn't. Oh, so confusing! I didn't trust myself as a vampire. I knew I could kill her so easily, even my family could. Jasper proved that pretty clearly. She would just have to be more careful, then. I wanted Bella in every way possible. I am not a coward. I'm going to go back. I'm going to confront her, and ask for her forgiveness. If she does not take me back, I won't complain. That should be her answer anyway, if she was smart.

Though, I knew her better than that.

Then, my phone rang. I saw who was on the caller ID, and with a smile on my face, and the news on the tip of my tongue, I answered. "Rosalie?" It only took a few simple words.

And my smile fell.

That's the end. I want to remind everyone that this is a ONE SHOT, meaning no need for alerts because it stands alone. I apologize for any errors or anything else you didn't like. I tried, but it was a random story. Pulled out of my head without any thoughts. All I did was put my fingers to the keyboard and let them type out whatever was going on in my head. In the end, I hope you liked it, and thanks for reading.

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MoonlightMaiden14