AN
Okay, I know I should be working on my other crossover, but I couldn't get this out of my head, and I really wanted to write something that actually had, well, a plot line... well anyway, in this fic it's just Ed going to Hogwarts, so this won't really be heavy yaoi, just light mentions here and there I guess. There will be hints of AlWin and any other pairings are to be decided. If there are any suggestions on the pairings, let me know. This is only heavy yaoi at the start (before Ed goes to Hogwarts), there are no graphic scenes, and most of it is purely for the humor I find in the embarrassment of professor McGonagall. Please don't hate the name, I couldn't think of anything else.
This takes place in the first Harry Potter book, and when Ed is sixteen. Cos Never happened, Al is still in his armor, and Roy still has full eyesight. It's highly likely that no one will notice, but I might bend the hp storyline a bit, such as what day things take place, minor things like that.
Disclaimer- I only own harry potter and fullmetal alchemist when I'm in my happy place.
Ed walked through the deserted town, his face a mask of disgust and sorrow. Blood was sprayed up the walls of the uninhabited buildings, and bodies lay on the street, carelessly thrown aside.
"Nii-san?" Came Al's voice, ringing eerily in the silence.
"Al," Said Ed, looking down so his bangs covered his eyes, "Something terrible has happened, let's get to headquarters and warn someone, it's only half an hour if we hurry."
"Right."
"It's looks like someone else wants the philosopher's stone." Murmured Ed.
"The colonel will know what to do..." Said Al, "But even if they did want the stone, why did they have to kill everyone?"
"I don't know Al, I don't know."
"So, colonel bastard, what you're saying is that you've found a solid lead on the stone, but we have to investigate the person who destroyed the town of Sanzar at the same time."
"That's exactly what I'm saying, Fullmetal," The colonel replied, "This Lord Voldemort, he's a massive threat to both the wizarding world and our own... and if you caught him it would give me more credibility." He added.
"Should've known, you're doing this for your career."
"Nii-san, don't be so rude!" Said Al, his armor creaking in exasperation.
"Hey! Who's side are you on here!"
"Calm down, Fullmetal, I'll go with you to get your school supplies. We leave in three days, so make sure you have your packing done by then."
"Yeah yeah," Said Ed.
"Oh, and one more thing," Said the colonel, bracing himself for the inevitable reaction "Al can't go with you."
"WHAT!" Yelled both boys at once.
"Sorry Al, but you're to conspicuous, you'd attract unwanted attention."
"Fine, but I promise Al, I'll find anything of use that's in this wizarding world, and regain your body."
"But Nii-san..."
"Besides," Smirked the blonde, "You're always bugging me about going back to Resembool to spend time with Winry, now you can." If the armor could have blushed, Al would be bright red.
"Okay..." The armor finally consented.
"Good," Said Roy, "now that that's all sorted out, onto a more important matter." The brothers looked at him in curiosity, wondering what could be more important right now than bringing down a dark wizard. Roy turned and looked Ed straight in the eye, "Would you like to come over to my house tomorrow night, before you leave for Hogwarts?"
"Sure, old man, you just want me to come over because you won't be able to do anyone while I'm away for a year."
"NII-SAN! MY EARS!" Al screamed.
"Whatever Al, you're only a year younger than me."
"YES, BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD BOY DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT HIS OLDER BROTHER IS HAVING SEX WITH HIS BOSS!" With that, Al stormed out of the room. After staring at the door in the echoing silence, Ed turned to his lover.
"I think we broke Al..."
Three days later, Roy and Ed were snoozing peacefully when a knock sounded on the door. Al had left for Resembool the day after the briefing, leaving Ed to stay at his lover's house. So naturally, they had been doing it like rabbits, and when the knock on the door came, Ed groaned and rolled over, in Roy's arms, flopping a pillow over his head. Roy didn't even stir.
'That's odd,' Thought one confused professor Mcgonagall, her hand still raised from knocking on the door, 'The tracking spell told me he was here.' So, of course, she did what anyone would do, and said a simple alohamora. satisfied with the 'click' of the lock, she pushed the door open. So of course, when she pushed open what looked like the bedroom door, she was extremely shocked to find the boy she was looking for snuggled up in bed with another man, both of them as naked as the day they were born.
"Oh my good lord!" Uttered the witch, and promptly fainted. Groaning, Roy opened two bleary onyx eyes, which quickly widened as he took in the unconscious woman on his bedroom floor.
"Uh, Ed." All he got was a groan from his lover. He tried again. "Ed, I think we need to get up now." This time the boy opened one eye.
"Why, I'm still really tired..."
"Yes," Roy chuckled, "But I think she might need our help." He pointed to the woman on the floor.
"Oh."
When Minerva McGonagall woke up, she found herself on a sofa that wasn't hers. Glancing around the room, she noticed a dark haired man sitting in the corner of the room, wearing only a pair of black silk boxers. Suddenly her memory came flooding back to her, and she blushed a deep red.
"I wondered when your memory would come back to you." He chuckled at her. All the poor professor could do was stare. "Sorry I didn't answer the door before, but as you can imagine from what you saw, we were both pretty tired." He watched with an evil smirk as the woman in front of him turned even redder than Ed's coat. "All jokes aside, Ed will be out of the shower soon so I'll say this quickly. Ed can take care of himself well, I know he can, but he can get carried away sometimes. But if I hear one word that he has been hurt because of the school's recklessness, then I will be extremely angry." His eyes flashed dangerously, and for the first time in a long while, Minerva felt scared.
"Yes," She said, finding her voice, even if it was a bit hoarse, "We take our students safety very seriously."
"Good," Said Roy, a smile now adorning his features, "I'm glad we got that cleared up." Slightly unnerved by the sudden change in moods, Minerva simply nodded. It was at this moment that our young Edward decided to grace the room with his presence. He strolled into the room dressed only in his black leather trousers, as the rest of his clothes were flung carelessly across the living room floor. He walked across the carpet, and seeing as how the witch was still spread across the sofa, went and perched himself on Roy's knee.
Upon studying Edward more closely, she noticed that he was fit, with a number of scars spread across his body, some even dangerously close to vital organs.
"Roy," He whined, "My automail is stuck in my hair again."
"Alright, come here." His lover began to work the limb out of his damp hair. Wondering what on earth 'automail' was, she looked to see what the dark haired man was doing. Upon twisting into a slightly awkward angle, she gasped.
"Your arm, what happened to it? I've never seen anything like that in all my years!" By now, Ed's am had been freed, and he held out the metal arm for the witch to see.
"It's called automail, I guess the wizarding world doesn't have it, huh?"
"Uh, no. In fact, we don't have machines at all, if you are coming to Hogwarts, Mr Elric, we will have to put a spell on your arm and leg to keep them moving." Ed frowned, slightly unhappy that this 'magic' would be used on his automail, but kept his mouth shut.
Turning to Roy, he smiled. "I guess it's your turn in the shower."
"Aaaw, but I wanted to take it with you." He whined while nibbling at Ed's ear, making Ed shiver in pleasure and Professor McGonagall turn beet-root red once more. Sighing, Ed pulled his lover in for a chaste kiss, before getting up so Roy could go for his shower. While Ed was up he started to gather up his scattered clothes, first his red trench coat (which was next to Professor McGonagall's foot), then his black leather over coat (next to the fireplace), and finally his black tank (hastily thrown aside next to the bedroom door).
While he was on this mission to recover the rest of his attire, Minerva was examining the array of pictures on the mantelpiece. The first in the collection was of Roy and Edward, looking like they were fighting with each other, but from their mock angry expressions, it was clear that they were just play-fighting. The second was of a dark haired man with glasses, clearly trying to show pictures of a little girl to the photographer. The third of the photos was of a younger looking Edward and a person in a large suit of armor, Edward holding out an official looking certificate (Ed's state military license, for anyone who didn't get it), the person in armor with their arm around Ed. The next was a picture of two young boys standing with a beautiful woman, their faces happy as they held two small, metal models up to her. The fifth and final photo held the same three people as the last, but the boys looked several years younger, and this time there was a man who bore a striking resemblance to Edward, holding the younger of the two boys. The odd thing about this photo though, was that the man had a tear running down his cheek, and while the others were smiling, he looked desperately sorrowful.
A now fully dressed Edward approached her and followed her gaze to the picture of his family. "Is that your father?" She asked, now comparing the man in the photo and Edward himself.
"If you can even call that bastard a father." Ed spat out, hate plain on his face and voice, "But yes, biologically he's my father."
"Excuse my asking," Said Minerva timidly, "but why do you not like your father?"
"Because the basta-" Edward started.
"Okay, I'm out of the shower, let's go!" Roy said, picking up his own shirt from the floor. Minerva nodded, giving Ed a look of curiosity before starting to rummage around in her pockets.
"Thank you." Ed whispered, embracing his lover before turning back to Minerva, both men still with an arm around each other, their silent way of comfort.
AN
Next there will be Diagon Alley! Yay!
Review and me what you think! ;)