Disclaimer: I don't own, despite all my deepest darkest wishes. JKR has that lovely honor.

That slimy git. I couldn't believe fucking Malfoy had given me detention. I was just there, minding my own business whilst enchanting an admittedly lewd picture of our previously mentioned Head Boy, when he caught sight and slammed me with this asinine punishment. Fuck, can't he take a joke? It's not like he's always been the most cordial towards me either.

"Granger! How the hell did you get into Ravenclaw if you're this air headed? Please tell me you didn't suck Flitwick off, that's just pathetic."

I narrowed my eyes at him, furious. "That's rich coming from you, Malfoy. You ARE Snape's little fairy, bending over for him every night, right?"

Fuck. Bastard shoved me into a wall. I guess that was a little harsh, but he did start it. I don't know what his issues are lately, but it's like he's PMSing. I mean, normally I get along with him fairly well. Not that we're friends. We'd probably kill each other before that ever happened.

"You're lucky I like watching your arse, Granger, or I wouldn't have been so nice."

I sat up from scrubbing the floors. It was humiliating enough that he insisted on babysitting me during this ordeal, but to know he was checking out my bum was beyond infuriating. Of course, me being a moron, I'd worn my shorts and a tank top. Screw this, I was pissed, and he just insisted on egging me on. I threw down the rag, stood up, and punched that prat square in the chest.

At least, I tried to. Right before my fist connected with his thin frame, he grabbed my hand, shoved it behind me, and pinned me to the wall. I was painfully aware of how close he was, his warm breath against my neck. I froze, my eyes squeezed shut, waiting for him to either hex or hit me. What he did next shocked me more than if he had started square dancing with Dobby.

"Meet me outside the Head Boy dorm in an hour. Your detention was over two hours ago, but I'm not quite finished with you. Don't keep me waiting."

The cold air hit me like a brick the instant his body left mine. I pressed my head against the wall and started punching the shit out of it.

"Motherfucking – bloody – fucking – slimy – GIT!" I growled at the stone in front of me. What the hell did that goddamn prat want from me? He had better keep his hands to himself or I would gladly be so kind as to remove what little manhood that prick had. Thoroughly fed up with this turn of events, I stomped off to my dorm to change into something less arousing, hopefully the clothing equivalent of an ice cold shower. He probably thought I hadn't felt his hard on against my arse, but I had no intention of encouraging THAT whatsoever.

Fuck. Fuckity fuck. What the fuck did I just do? I'm a Malfoy, we don't associate with tatted girls, least of all get fucking aroused by them! Fuck you, little Draco. You just have absolutely no sense of propriety. Scratch that, no fucking sense at all. I had just intended to give Parker a good ribbing during her detention. She completely deserved it after that "Wanker" piece. But then she had the audacity to show up in her skimpy clothes, and – fuck. That dragon tattoo up her leg is what started this whole mess. I had never seen it before, although everyone knew Granger's flesh was far from pristine. I mean, it's hard not to notice the barbell through her tongue, not to mention the double piercing in her nose. On most girls it would have seemed pretentious, if not downright excessive, but on Granger... damn. It just made her look fucking exotic, what with her brown curls and melted chocolate eyes. I knew (hoped) she hadn't noticed me squirming at the sight of her on her hands and knees. When I made that comment about her arse, I could've sworn I saw the dragon move.

I glanced at the clock. Shit. Granger was going to be here in less than ten minutes... if she actually showed up. I ran a hand through my hair absentmindedly, the bangs flipping straight back into my eyes, then hurried to to change out of my robes.

I stood outside the door to Malfoy's room and shifted uncomfortably. I had shown up five minutes late, mostly just to be a brat. And because I had to finish touching up my makeup. NOT that I was primping for that slimy git, or anything like that. Disgusting.

I started tapping my foot impatiently. Was that git ever going to open the goddamn door? I was cursing under my breath when his door swung open abruptly, smacking straight into my arse. I reeled around to glare at him, but just as soon as my violent retort was bubbling to the surface, my brain and mouth made a serious disconnect.

"Fucking Malf- Woah. Umm."

I just stared at him, mouth slightly gaping. Ever the silkily cool one, Malfoy merely raised an eyebrow. We were practically wearing the same thing; black v-neck, blue skinny jeans, and TOMS. Except mine were red and his were charcoal. Like his eyes when he was angry. What the hell am I thinking, snap out of it Hermione! Shit, he said something.

"What?" Idiot. Where is the restart button for my brain?

Malfoy smirked. That stupid prat smirked! "I was merely commenting on the similarity in our outfits. Are you sure you're not a seer, Granger? Trelawney would be ecstatic to have you join her in her drug-induced psychoses."

I glowered at him. "Don't fucking insult me. Even if I were any good at divination, why the hell would I have planned this?" I gestured between us.

That damn smirk again. "Oh Granger, it's so cute when you act like you don't want me."

"Oh go shove it, Malfoy. It would take a lot more effort than that before I would even consider you as an option." I shoved past him through the door, hoping the bright pink adorning my cheeks had escaped his notice. I managed a wry smile as he sputtered behind me.

I stopped as I entered his living area. It was more spacious than I had originally assumed; he even had a private bath, which, from what I could see at this angle, looked very glamorous. I could probably go swimming that tub was so enormous... Malfoy could even fit in there with me. I mentally slapped myself. My brain was officially shot tonight, and I was in deep trouble.