A 2p England story because why the hell not.
I absolutely love Oliver(2p of Arthur) and his insanity.
Trying to write from a psychopath(not Hollywood's perception of one) point of view so I dunno how it'll go.

Might write a 2p USUK story because the 2p world is great.

-
I knew today would be a good day when I awoke. I felt it in my bones, heard the chirping of birds, felt the sunlight on my face. Today was a day not to be wasted! I got out of bed, and stepped into my slippers. Wrapping my robe around myself, I descended the stairs and entered the kitchen.
Today called for a nice breakfast!

I beat the eggs in a bowl, whistling to myself, then once the eggs were cooking in the pan, I popped toast into my toaster. Wow! It's only 10:45!
"Today is a day to spend with friends!" I hummed, scrambling the eggs and adding cheese to them.
I waltzed over to my fridge and pulled out the orange juice, pouring a glass. Nothing could ruin this day!
The eggs were finished, and I moved them to a plate. The toast popped out and I added that on my dish.

I turned the stove off, and balanced the plate in my left hand and the glass of orange juice in my right. Absently, I bit into my toast and stared out of the window. It was lonesome here by myself. After all, today seemed like a day to spend with people!

"I'll invite over someone!" I grinned to myself, finishing off my breakfast. "But first, I'll make some cupcakes~"

Yes, today will be a great day.

As I mixed the cupcake batter, I thought about who I would like to come over. "There's Alfred, Lovino, Francis, Matthew...Oh! I've got it! I know just who would be delighted to come over." Yes, I would invite over my dear friend Arthur. He was a bit stuffy, but I didn't mind.
I popped the cupcakes in the oven.

Yes, today is a day for friends!

I pulled out the cupcakes and set them out to cool, deciding now was as good a time as any to change into clothes. After all, it would be rude to have company over in my sleeping clothing! I put on a pink button down and a purple sweater vest. Then I tied on a light blue bow-tie. Perfect.

I went and iced the cupcakes.

Once I had finished that, I pulled out my phone to give Arthur a ring.

"Hello?" He sounded irritated.

"Cheerio, Arthur! I was wondering if you'd like to stop on by to enjoy some tea with me? It's a beautiful day that simply must be shared with someone."

A sigh came through the other end. "Sorry, Oliver. I don't really want to."

I wilted and frowned. My voice came out cold "It's not an option."

"Fine. I'll be there at 12:30." He huffed.

I brightened "Yay! See you then."
I closed my phone, cheerful. Arthur was coming over! I glanced at the clock, 11:30. Only an hour to prepare for my guest!

I rolled up the sleeves of my pink shirt and grabbed a broom. I went around the house, cleaning the floor and humming. Oh, I was so excited!

After the cleaning was done, I decided to make sandwiches for my guest and I.
I got a loaf of bread, turkey slices, and lettuce and tomato. A smile was plastered on my face as I worked the knife through the tomato, the red juice spilling on the cutting board.
After the prep was done, I assembled the sandwiches and grinned, looking toward the clock. Oh my, it was already 12:20! I out the sandwiches on two separate plates and got a kettle to boil water. It won't do to have a guest over without preparing tea! I giggled childishly as I set the water to boil.

At precisely 12:30, the doorbell rang. "Coming~!" I hurried to open the door.
"Arthur!" I smiled wider at the cranky blonde and pulled him into a hug.
He didn't hug me back.

"Come in, come in!" I ushered into my house, shutting the door behind him.
"I've made some sandwiches for us, make yourself comfortable. Oh! The kettle is boiling! Go out to the patio while I prepare the tea, okay?"
Arthur nodded stiffly and began to head toward the patio.
I laughed and waltzed into the kitchen.

I brought out the tea and sandwiches and sat across the table from Arthur. "Here!" I cheerfully gave him his tea and sandwich.
He took a sip and I watched him eagerly.

"It's too sweet."

My mood darkened. I had worked so hard to make this enjoyable, and here he was complaining about the tea? The smile stayed on my face. Today is not a day for disappointing your guests!

I sipped my own tea, "Isn't today just magnificent? I had to invite someone over to share it!"

He nodded "I do see your point, I suppose." The blonde timidly picked at his sandwich.

"Are you not going to eat it?" My voice was cold.

"N-no! I am." Arthur grinned and took a huge bite. I smiled back. Something told me my friend wasn't enjoying himself. But I ignored it.

I stared out into the distance with a rueful smile on my face.

It was 1:00 and by this time, both of us had finished our food and tea. "Would you like another cup of tea, dear Arthur?" I stood up, prepared to get some more.

"Um, no thank you Oliver. In fact, I was thinking it's time I left. I h-have some urgent work to attend to."

I faltered, my smile morphing into a frown. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you see-"

"No. You aren't leaving. The day may be short, but there's plenty of time left to enjoy this day! How about you stay for dinner?" My smile was a bit forced.

"U-um."

"You're staying for dinner."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine."

"Yay! I'm glad you're here, Arthur. I'd kill to have someone here with me." I grinned wide and he gulped, looking nervous.

"Is something wrong? You seem uptight." I sat down and peered into his eyes.

"No, I'm fine."

"Very well then." I nodded "Care to go inside and watch some television?"

"That would be nice." Arthur stood up. I led him into the house, leaving the dishes there.

"It's still early, but I'll get started on dinner. It's rude to keep guests waiting~!"

"Very well." Arthur sat on my couch and turned the telly on. I adjusted my bow tie and disappeared into the kitchen

"Hm, what to make? How about pasta." I smiled and went to my pantry, pulling out a can of tomato sauce. First, I pulled out a pot and filled it with water so it could boil for the pasta noodles. In a separate pot, I dumped the jar of tomato sauce into the pot and stirred. "I should add fresh tomatoes to the sauce!" A wonderful idea it was. I pulled out the cutting board and grabbed my sharpest knife, and the biggest tomato I could find. As I sliced the tomato, I heard a noise from the front of the house.

It sounded vaguely like a door opening.

Tomato and knife still in hand, I dashed out of the kitchen to the entrance of my home. There was Arthur halfway out of the door, his eyes wide.

"Oh Arthur, what are you doing? You weren't trying to leave, were you?" My mouth turned up into a smile.

"If you wanted to leave, you could've just said so." I said in my most polite voice.

"I did try!" He snapped irritably. I flinched. Why was he so angry?

I don't like when my friends are angry with me.
Today is a day for happiness!

"Oh." I murmured quietly.
I wondered how I should cheer him up.

"Come here!" I grinned, dropping the tomato and grinning hold of his hand. He struggled against my hold. What was wrong with him? What did I do? I pulled his hand harder and he fell into my house. "Yay!" I giggled and locked the door. I didn't want him to leave just yet!

"Oliver. Let me leave."

"But you'll miss dinner! I worked hard on it."

Arthur crinkled his brow and I frowned. What was I doing wrong? Why did he look so afraid?
He eyed the knife in my hand and I looked at it. "Oops. Did I forget to leave this in the kitchen? No worries!" I smiled comfortingly and he only flinched. I was growing angry. I just couldn't please him!

Arthur gulped and went to sit on my couch. I sat next to him. "I won't let you leave my sight!" I joked with him, but he looked mortified. Where was his sense of humour?

"What about dinner?" He asked

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry about that! Oh, I almost forgot I made cupcakes for you!" I stood up, "Don't move a muscle!"

I scurried into the kitchen and returned with the platter of cupcakes.
"I hope you like them. I used my secret ingredient!"

"What might that be?" He looked afraid.

"It's a secret, silly."

He cautiously took a bite and swallowed.

"They're quite good." He muttered.

I ran the knife along my finger, enjoying the cold of the steel on my skin. Arthur watched the knife.
"It feels nice and doesn't hurt! Would you like to feel?"

He shook his head but I grinned an took his hand anyway. I ran the knife along the back of his hand softly. "Feels nice, huh?"

"O-Oliver!" He stuttered, looking at me with horror. I let go of his hand.

Red.
Red.
Where did this red come from?

I looked over at Arthur, who clutched his hand.
"What happened?" I asked, worriedly.

"You cut me! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What? Me? No I didn't. I ran the knife on your hand softly. Is this some dirty trick so you can leave me? Today is not a day for abandoning friends."

"You're sick!" He growled

I frowned "That's a rude thing to say to your host. I'll be back with dinner."

I went to the kitchen. The sauce had boiled over and was burnt. The noodles were hard. But it would do.
I prepared a plate for Arthur to eat and brought it back to him.

"Here you go." I smiled.

He took the plate from my hands and reluctantly took a bite.

"Oliver, what's in the sauce?"

I blinked. "It's just tomato sauce."

He stared at me. "No, this doesn't taste like tomato sauce. In fact, it tastes like blood."

"Blood? Don't be silly! The sauce is imported from Italy." I laughed.

"I don't want anymore. My hand hurts."

"That won't do. Here, I'll feed it to you."

"No!"

I picked up the fork and fed the pasta to Arthur. He gagged and I frowned.
"What's wrong, Arthur?"

"You're trying to choke me!" He coughed and glared at me.

"Arthur, what is it with you and these silly accusations?" I huffed, growing annoyed.

"They're very real!" He snapped, "Are you trying to kill me? First you stab me, now you choke me!"

"You'd know if I was going to kill you, silly. I would've done it by now! And quite frankly, I didn't do either of those things." I didn't understand. Why was I being accused of such things when nothing had happened? I was being gentle and careful with him, not wanting to upset my guest. Nothing I did could please him!

"Oliver." His voice sounded small. I studied the knife in my hand.

"Yes?" I prompted.

"I'd like to go home."

My smile twisted. I'd had enough. "Oh Arthur. It's much too early to leave. Today is a day for having fun."

I giggled and raised up the knife.
-

This was interesting to write. I think I need to work on Oliver's character more.

And as you can see, from Oliver's perspective, he believes he has done nothing wrong, and has convinced himself of it.

So yes. Random oneshot is finished.