This is one of my Kurobas one-shot series featuring: MuraKuro!

After three weeks of stalling, I've finally come up with a plot for the pairing. Yay!

R & R.

Enjoy~!

"Coach." A familiar teal-haired male appeared in front of Aida. The brunette shrieked in surprise.

"Seriously, you have to stop doing that Kuroko-kun." She sighed. "So, what did you need?"

He blinked at her. "I'd like to skip practice today."

"Oh, why is that?" Aida would not take any half-assed excuse, though she doubted that the bluenet was going to tell her some lame reason for escaping her training menu-from-Hell for the day.

"I promised Murasakibara-kun that I will accompany him to buy baking ingredients." He unconsciously gave her the kicked puppy-look that reminded her of Nigou. "You can double my training tomorrow."

That wouldn't do. Kuroko, despite his frail frame, is the most hardworking out of the team. He trained himself twice as hard compared to the others. Therefore, doubling his training menu would only mean that he would triple his original one; and Aida didn't want the bluenet to collapse out of exhaustion.

"It's fine," She waved off her hand dismissingly. Besides, Kuroko rarely asked any favors, so she felt accomplished as his sempai to be of any help (even if it's just for a permission to leave the premises).

Once the short male was out of sight, Hyuuga approached her. "Where's he going?"

She shrugged. "Probably downtown since he's going with Yosen's Center to buy baking stuff." Aida had a far-away gleam in her eyes— most likely thinking of the culinary adventures that her kouhai and his former teammate would have. Why didn't they invite her?

Meanwhile, the Seirin captain took a step back. He knew pure evil when he saw it.

"Oh, Kuroko left his phone behind," Izuki pointed out the light blue cellphone on the bench with a dangling basketball and Nigou keychain. It was cute.

Kiyoshi took the phone and flipped it open, unabashedly rummaging through his kouhai's private messages. Hyuuga smacked his head. "Oi, learn to respect people's privacy!"

"Eh, but I can't help it!" He laughed sheepishly. "We don't know much about Kuroko. Besides—" His thumb paused from pushing random buttons and he simply stared wide-eyed at the screen. "Guys, I don't think Kuroko's out just to buy baking stuff." Everyone huddled around the phone and they gasped at what they saw.

It was a message from Murasakibara.

From: Murasakibara-kun

Subject: Kisses

—Neh, Kuro-chin. You gave me very sweet kisses. Can I have some more?

They gaped even more at the reply.

To: Murasakibara-kun

Re: Subject: Kisses

—Sure. We're meeting tomorrow anyways.

"EEEEEEEHHHH?!" The freshmen trio chorused.

Tsuchida's mouth was opening and closing like a fish. "T-This is—"

Hyuuga massaged his forehead for an upcoming migraine. "So he's into these kind of things, huh."

"Eek, Kuroko! Don't go to that bruteeeeee!" Koganei sobbed as Mitobe patted him awkwardly, also at a loss of words. "Why, Mitobe, why? Why is our poor, innocent Kuroko giving away these kinds of things?!"

Izuki crossed his arms and nodded. When he was about to open his mouth for a pun, Kiyoshi immediately slapped his hand over it. The brunet gave their captain a thumbs up before scratching his head with his other hand. "What should we do, Hyuuga?"

The teen sighed before pointing behind Kiyoshi. "We don't even need to lift a finger. Look." And their Center did as told. The Crownless General sweatdropped at the sight of Riko, who burst into flames (and still burning). She was cackling madly.

"That purple giant… taking advantage of our Kuroko. Well, it's pretty sexy…" She muttered to herself before yelling at her team. "Listen up! We're stalk— following Kuroko and that Murasakibara!"

"Did I hear her right? For a second I thought she said 'stalk'." Furihata commented.

Fukuda furrowed his eyebrows. "She did."

Kawahara blinked repeatedly at their coach. "Shouldn't we leave them alone then? This probably means that Kuroko and Murasakibara are on a date." He shook his head. "Aren't we going a bit too far?"

"No!" Riko shouted and all but slammed the phone (which was given to her by Kiyoshi) into the poor teen's face. "If this is how he treats him, then I don't want to think on what will happen if this goes on." She continued to ramble on. "What if when they hug each other, that giant's filthy hands would wander around Kuroko's slim, lithe body?!"

Kawahara flinched in fright. It was a bit far-fetched, but not entirely impossible.

"What if he forced himself onto Kuroko?! His large body would pin him on the bed then he would kiss him senselessly and—"

"Riko, you're bleeding!" Hyuuga exclaimed. The coach paused for a moment to wipe her nosebleed with a hankerchief. "Anyways, it's our job as his teammates to watch out for our phantom player!" The wide grin on her face was not convincing. Not only that, she skipped around when she packed her bags.

"Somehow, I've got the feeling that she has another reason for this," Kiyoshi whispered to his fellow seniors. They nodded in agreement.

In that moment, Kagami, who was assigned on his class's cleaning duty, had arrived; only to see his teammates packing up. "What? There's no practice today?"

"Nah. Just this!" Riko showed him the phone. The redhead gawked at what he read. It looks like he doesn't know Kuroko as well as he thought. "Eh… he's dating that Murasakibara. So what?"

"You're terrible!"

"Die, Bakagami!"

"He doesn't care about Kuroko's chastity at all!"

Kagami spluttered in surprise. "O-Oi… and what's with his chastity and stuff? He can take care of himself. You guys don't need to baby him!"

"Kagami-kun." Riko had a sickeningly sweet smile on her face, but a horrifying aura was around her. There was no way she'd let her daring kouhai get in the way of the VIP seat to some live action yaoi— and ahem, forget what she was thinking there. "Would you like your training menu to be tripled tomorrow?"

"Huh? Why would you do that? I didn't do—"

"Quadrupled?"

"No."

"Then don't argue and just tag along."

That solved their problems.

And so, Seirin (along with one reluctant Bakagami) stalked their phantom member.

The entire team was hiding behind the bushes. Many passerbys stopped to stare and watch them for a while. A little girl pointed at their direction. "Look, mommy! That bush has hair!"

The mother immediately covered her daughter's eyes and hurriedly ushered her to leave. "Ignore the weirdos, baby. Just walk straight ahead and never look back."

Suffice to say, they were not inconspicuous.

Kagami wasn't even trying to hide— standing tall and proud beside the bush looking out of place.

"Oi, at least make yourself unnoticeable!" The teen's wild red hair was an instant eye-catcher. "At this rate, they'll notice us!" Riko exclaimed. Hyuuga didn't bother to point the fact that she was eye-catching herself; a brunette was crouching and yelling behind a bush.

"This is pointless, Coach!"

"What did you say, Bakagami?!"

"N-Nothing!"

Kiyoshi laughed out loud, immediately gaining the attention of some people around them. "Aren't we lively today?"

Tsuchida returned his laugh and sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "I know, right?"

Koganei nodded and pumped his fists in the air. He had a hankerchief wrapped around the lower half of his face— adds to the stealth, he says. "I totally feel like a ninja, nin-nin!" Mitobe also had a hankerchief on his face. The cat-faced boy was able to rope their silent giant to his natural silliness.

Furihata shook his head at their silliness, but joined in the fun. He, along with Fukuda and Kawahara, also took out hankerchiefs and tied them on the lower halves of their faces. Hyuuga facepalmed at his team's stupidity. "Why are you following his example?" He pointed his finger at Koganei. "And you, Koga! Stop telling them to do the same!"

Izuki chuckled a bit. "Hehe. We're hidden from Kuroko instead of the other way for once." His eyes twinkled. "Oh! The shadow has a shadow. Not only that, multiple shadows all at once!"

Koganei actually joined in. "It's like Naruto!" His hands were together in a weird pray-like position. "Shadow Clone jutsu!"

Hyuuga gave him a noogie. "Die, Izuki!" Then he stopped to keep Koganei in an armlock with his other bicep. "You too, Koganei!"

"Sorry, Hyuuga, but I can't help it. It was pun-ny!" Izuki continued. The clutch player tightened his hold on the Eagle Eyes owner. "Okay, okay. I give!"

Riko emitted a scary aura that made passerbys back away. "Stop your stupidity and keep an eye on Kuroko." She pointed at the two. "Look! They're at it."

Murasakibara had his hands on Kuroko's teal locks.

"Please stop ruffling my hair."

"No. Kuro-chin is like a fun-sized snack— puny and tasty." He finished his statement with a predator-looking (at least in Seirin's point of view) smile.

Seirin gasped in horror, gears relentlessly working in their heads.

There it was!

Murasakibara wanted to eat the bluenet (in a very sexual way). Very graphic images entered their minds. Even Kagami was fired up to keep the purple giant away from his teammate now.

"No, Kuroko-kuuuun! Get away from the beast!" Hyuuga kept Riko in her place. Whilst she was protesting, she had a camera in her hands and said brunette kept snapping pictures of the pair they were stalking.

"If you march in there now, we won't be able to stop them. We have to find another oppotunity— and stop taking pictures of them, geez!" The captain ruffled his own hair in exasperation. "Why are you even taking pictures of them?"

Riko had her fingers crossed behind her back, which remained unnoticed. "For evidence, of course."

Koganei was weeping, soiling his hanky-mask. "Poor Kuroko-kun!"

They didn't hear Kuroko's next words.

"I'd appreciate it if you don't call me small, Murasakibara-kun."

That was what the purple-haired Center meant.

Oh, well.

Murasakibara and Kuroko were now in a store. The Seirin team was hiding across the aisle. Kuroko was looking at the numerous baking ingredients. It looks like they were really just shopping, after all.

"Looks like there's nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, it was a simple misunderstanding."

"A misunderstood giant misunderstood yet again."

"Shut up, Izuki."

They were about to turn around when they saw the purple-haired teen leaned down beside Kuroko. The teal-haired teen looked a bit uncomfortable, as if his former teammate was doing something to him. Unless—

"WAAAH! HE'S BITING HIS EAR!"

"KUROKO'S BEING EATEN!"

"WHAT IS WITH THE MIRACLES AND THEM BEING SMITTEN WITH KUROKO?!"

"Oh, my. That's was so hot."

"HE'S GONNA BE MOLESTED!"

"I KNOW— WAIT, WHO SAID THAT WAS HOT?!"

"HUH?!"

"OH, GEEZ! THE LONGER WE WATCH, THE MORE WE'LL TURN INTO GAYS!"

"I'M NOT GAY ABOUT TURNING INTO A GAY!"

"STOP MAKING PUNS ABOUT THIS! IT ISN'T FUNNY!"

"WE'LL END UP DOING SOME GAY ORGY! NOOOOO!"

"WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS?!"

While the team was panicking, they didn't see Murasakibara take a bottle of vanilla essence from his position. Kuroko gave him a stern look before taking the bottle from the purple-haired teen.

"Please don't lean your head on my shoulder again. It was very heavy."

The pair arrived at Kuroko's house. After following (stalking) him for months, they finally knew where the phantom's house was. However, they did not pay attention to this because they were too preoccupied with the pair.

Murasakibara reached the back of Kuroko's pants and his hands wandered around his pockets. The team froze in place. The purple giant was molesting their teammate!

"Stop right there!"

Seirin revealed themselves at last. Riko took one last snapshot before clearing her throat and jabbing a finger towards their direction.

"You!" Murasakibara pointed a finger at himself. The brunette nodded profusely. "What are you doing with Kuroko, taking advantage of him like that?"

"Huh?" The giant munched on a snack. "What are you talking about?"

"On your way to the store, you said Kuroko was tasty— tasty!" Riko's nose started to bleed again, but she only wiped it with her sleeve. "Don't you even think of tainting his innocence!"

"Um, Coach." Kuroko joined in their conversation. All eyes turned to him.

"Murasakibara-kun was talking about my height. That's his way of saying that I'm small," The phantom player explained with a minimal twitch of his eyebrow.

Koganei raised his hand. "W-W-What about the whole 'lean on you' thing? You were very uncomfortable back in the store!"

"He placed his head on my shoulder to get a bottle of vanilla essence on the shelf. His head awas very heavy." They sweatdropped after hearing the explanation. It looks like everything was a big misunderstanding.

Now it was Kiyoshi's turn to ask. "And the pockets?"

Kuroko nodded at the purple giant. Said Center dangled a pair of keys in the air. "I was taking Kuro-chin's keys because he has plastic bags in his hands. He couldn't reach it."

"What did you mean when you said that Kuroko gave very sweet kisses?" Hah! They were sure that the Miracle player was dangerous now!

"The other day, I made vanilla kisses for Murasakibara-kun. He wanted more."

The giant licked his lips a bit. "It was very tasty and sweet."

"Oh," The team chorused. They gave each other sheepish looks. It was very stupid of them to speculate so much. It seems that Murasakibara was harmless all along.

Hyuuga rubbed the back of his head. "Well, I feel silly now."

Izuki nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I don't even have a pun on how stupid we were." His eyes lit up. "Wait, I take it back. I—" Their own Center placed a hand over the PG's mouth.

"Nice one, Kiyoshi!" Hyuuga gave Kiyoshi, who laughed in reply, a thumbs up.

Kagami snorted and started to walk away. He was a moron for actually falling for the misunderstanding. "This was a waste of time."

Riko looked a bit deflated, but she hid it well by plastering a confident smile on her face. "Just make sure you're not skipping tomorrow's practice! Ja ne!" She pushed the rest of the team forward, away from the pair. They waved at the two until the group turned at a corner.

There was silence.

"That was a close one, wasn't it, Kuro-chin?" Murasakibara said. "Good thing they didn't notice your ear."

Kuroko nodded, placing a hand on his slightly red ear. Only his left one was a bit swollen. "But Murasakibara-kun, please don't bite too hard next time."

"Kuro-chin's ear was yummy. It reminded me a bit of gummy bears because it was soft and chewy." The teal-haired male blushed at the memory. It was embarrassing that the giant did it in public.

Seirin's delusions were real. Murasakibara really was perverted.

Too bad.

Ignorance is bliss.

"Besides, I just want them to know that I won't hand over Kuro-chin so easily."

The bluenet looked up at him.

"Why is that?"

The purple-haired player only smiled. "Kuro-chin gives sweet kisses, after all."

Kuroko blinked in confusion.

"Itadakimasu."

Murasakibara leaned down to kiss the phantom player.

Wooh! Already done!

Now, I'm off to finish the next one.

Ciao ciao~! -Flonne.