Which Shinobi couples will hook up? (RATED M FOR SEXUAL CONTENT) Chapter 1: The Plan, a naruto fanfic

SUMMARY & WARNINGS (PLEASE READ)

FORMAL SUMMARY (if you don't read this, you might be confused!)

The Kages have decided to find out which ninjas are either gay or most likely to have babies with each other (to continue the kekkai genkai) In an extremely hilarious, sexual journey, these ninjas will form new friendships and relationships, as well as discover things about themselves that they never knew before! AKATSUKI & SAND SIBLINGS INCLUDED!

Warning: The endgames/final couples are only paired after a series of crazy hook ups! A few of these hook ups are boy/boy and girl/girl sexual situations & a few good-humoured threesomes.

I wasn't able to add ALL of the pairings/characters in the description because there's a character limit (and I don't wanna ruin the plot!) but there'll be maybe 2 or 3 yaoi/boyxboy pairings, a good amount of straight pairings and maybe 1 yuri/girlxgirl! (I haven't decided yet, sorry! Review/send a suggestion if you want it) But don't worry, I diversified it to include all sexualities!

I TRIED TO INCLUDE LOTS OF HUMOUR AND DETAILED SEX! Enjoy, my little perverted Naru-Hoes ;) & feel free to leave reviews/plot suggestions!

BTW THIS INCLUDES NARUSASU/SASUNARU (NARUTO X SASUKE) SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ! I ALSO ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ IT UNLESS YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH READING ADULT MATERIAL :)

Notes (It's not AU but keep this in mind please)

Team 7 & Team 9 & Team 10: 18 years old
Team 8 (Neji, Lee, TenTen): 19 years old
Akatsuki: Their ages range from 21 to 26
Just for the storyline: Sasori is human. Yes, he still uses puppets with his chakra strings but he is human and he has a dick.
Kakashi and Obito have a slight/friendly rivalry. (Not a big part of the story, just a little detail)
Also not a big part of the story but: Rin is alive and in hiding. She occasionally meets up with Tobi/Obito once in a while. No one knows about this, except for Kakashi
Tobi/Obito is still the silly immature fun-loving lollipop-masked man to the ninjas but only Kakashi & Rin know his true identity as Obito and they keep it a secret!

DISCLAIMER: I wrote a fictional story using the already-fictional characters who are owned by the amazingly talented Masashi Kishimoto. THE CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME! The plot is mine, though :)

SEXUAL CONTENT WARNING: Personally, I like to keep my writing as detailed as I can. The intended audience is teen/adult readers who already feel comfortable with the topic on hand. If you are uncomfortable with explicit material, I would advise you to skip the chapters where I have clearly stated that there will be sex. When it comes to sex, I always put a heads-up in the notes. Hope this helps you avoid them, if you're uncomfortable :)

Rated M for explicit sexual content & language

Very loosely based off of a few of my own high school/university experiences and my friends too. None of the characters are homophobic or slut-shaming and I hope you guys aren't either! Leave plot suggestions & lemme know if you like it but no homophobic reviews please and thank you!

BTW I AM NOT BASHING ANYONE'S SHIPS! THIS IS JUST A STORY & I WILL NEVER EVER EVER JUDGE SOMEONE BASED ON THE CHARACTERS THAT THEY SHIP! I LOVE ALL OF THE CHARACTERS THAT I USED AND I AM NOT TRYING TO BASH THEM. EVERYTHING IS IN GOOD HUMOUR. PLEASE DON'T TAKE OFFENSE. :)

THE STORY STARTS HERE!

Tsunade and the other four powerful Kages were in a secret hideout, attending a very important meeting.

"As we all know, special bloodline powers get transferred to children from their parents' genes. Good examples of this would be the Byakugan, the Sharingan, the Rinnegan, the Tenseigan, etc." stated the Kazekage.

His eyes were met with the attentive eyes of the other members, eagerly listening to what he had to say.

"Well, after our C-512 operation on infiltrating Orochimaru's hideout, we are currently working with several medical-nins and scholars to mimic Orochimaru's methods of combining genes and making new bodies," he continued. "That is just an update. However, that is not the main reason as to why I have gathered you all here today." He inhaled deeply before releasing his next piece of information.

"This may come as very shocking news to you but the Akatsuki have agreed to join forces with us to take down a common enemy. They have given their word not to cause trouble but to help with this mission, seeing as they also have special bloodline traits."

The gasps from the other Kages echoed across the hideout.

"You see, we must unite together and bind our forces to fight against Orochimaru's next generation of rogue ninjas. Blood will be spilled. Normally, this would be an unavoidable problem. But in these times, it is a huge problem that we cannot ignore. We rely on these bloodline traits to protect the village and fight our enemies. For example, if all of the Uchiha were to be killed in this war, then the next generation would not have the Sharingan to protect them. Or if all the Hyuuga were to be slaughtered, the next generation's defense would be lacking without the powerful Byakugan. Undoubtedly, Orochimaru's army will attack again, most likely not in our time but in the time of the next generation. I want them to be prepared. We need to ensure that they will be in good hands."

"Kazekage-sama? What if some of these ninjas are….um," the Kage of the land of water struggled to find the words to describe this, "not attracted to the opposite sex and therefore would not reproduce?"

"I have thought of this. Fortunately, we are making great progress in combining two DNAs without the requirement of heterosexual intercourse and creating a body that carries those special blood-line traits."

This earned him relieved sighs from his audience, as the other Kages knew that a few of their strongest ninjas were gay.

"There is a downside to this, though. Unfortunately, the special type of chakra that is used for this process is extremely rare to find and our resources are limited. I have decided that each village will be paired up with another village and are expected to predict which bloodline traits will be passed on or combined with other bloodline traits to the next generation of ninjas. The conceiving part is not urgent because we will not need this new generation anytime soon. The goal of this operation is to see which ninjas are most likely to mate/naturally reproduce together and which ones will need the process of combining DNA and creating a baby in the lab."

"As Kages, you must order all the sensei-jonins in the village to conduct experiments and foretell which ninja couples are most likely to have kids so that we will know the measure of our future defense. Also, we can eventually start the process of creating new babies. Understood?"

After a few questions for clarification, the Kages accepted their duty and went back on their way to inform their villages. The sand village and the leaf village were paired up.

Half of Konoha's ninjas were transferred to the Sand Village whereas half of the sand ninjas were transferred to Konoha. The Akatsuki decided to stay in Konoha due to Itachi's request to keep a watchful eye on his brother. He needed to make sure that whoever Sasuke chose to revive his clan, would be worthy of his brother's own standards. He needed to make sure that whoever this ninja was, would have a pure heart and raise the next generation of Uchiha with the values of peace and kindness so they would not have to experience what he and his brother did.

Following Tsunade's orders, Kurenai, Gai, Kakashi and Asuma went on their way to inform their students about the new experiments.

"Sasuke-kun!" greeted Sakura, as she sat beside her two teammates.

"Hn," was all she got from her long-time crush.

"Hey Sakura-Chan," exclaimed Rock Lee as he entered the ninja academy room, along with Neji and TenTen

"Lee-san?" she was clearly surprised to see him.

Before Lee could reply, in came Kiba, Hinata and Shino.

"This better not take too long. Akamaru needs to pee," impatiently stated Kiba to Hinata, as they both took a seat in front of team 7.

Eventually, the room became occupied by Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru, Sai, Gaara, Temari and Kankuro along with the other students that were already there.

"Alright my youthful ninjas of Konoha!" started the extremely enthusiastic Gai Sensei, as he continued to explain the tedious experiments to the students, as they reacted in pure horror.
"And if anyone needs any advice or help, the Akatsuki have agreed to join our experiments. Feel free to ask them anything! They won't bite….this time," said Gai, nervously as he introduced the notorious S-rank organization of criminals.

Itachi locked eyes with an uncomfortable Sasuke, as Deidara, Tobi and Hidan politely waved.