"Cody Size Me"
Rated M for strong language.
Disclaimer: Apparently, I do not own anything associated with Total Drama or its characters. The show and characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Oh, and I don't own any likeliness of Burger King whatsoever.
Sierra was driving in her yellow Volkswagen one Saturday afternoon when she decided to stop for lunch.
"Mmmmm," Sierra muffled, "I'm so hungry today..."
As soon as Sierra pulled up to the drive thru, a voice came through the speaker.
"Hello, welcome to Burger King, can I take your order?"
After making up her decision, Sierra approached the mic.
"Yeah, can I have a Cody, large Cody, and a small Cody, please?" Sierra replied.
"Uh, ma'am, we don't have what you call 'Cody' on the menu, please order something else."
"Okay," Sierra said, making her decision again, "I'll take a 10-piece Cody nuggets and a large Cody shake!"
"We don't have that either. Please order something else or leave..."
So far, the drive-thru clerk was already losing patience.
Once again, Sierra looked around the lunch menu. So many choices, so little time. After seconds of searching, Sierra finally decided again.
"Can I have a Cody Salad with ranch?" Sierra smiled.
"Ma'am," The drive-thru worker sighed, "As much as I like to be on break right now, we don't have anything that involves a 'Cody'. All we have is Whoppers, chicken nuggets, side salads, and milkshakes. Which one do you want?"
This was way confusing to Sierra. After all, Sierra didn't look for Cody's name around the menu. All she thought about was Cody and nothing but Cody. As if she didn't want the food.
After a few minutes of deciding, Sierra made up her decision once and for all...
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"Can I have Cody pie?" She smiled.
Suddenly, the drive-thru worker screamed his ass off. He couldn't believe he had to serve a customer this dumb in his entire life. He wanted to blow up in Sierra's face, but it was too unhealthy. Plus, he would lose his job if he were to be physical around her.
So after he took a deep breath, he approached the mic.
"Can you please approach the second window, please?"
"Gladly!" She exclaimed.
After Sierra pulled up to the second window, the drive-thru worker (which I'm not gonna name him since Sierra's the main focus of this story) came up to her nicely.
"Ma'am," He said to her, "I can see you're new here. So I'm willing to make this easy for you."
Trying not to show aggression, the employee calmly gave Sierra the Burger King lunch menu.
"That's all the menu items we have," Said the employee, "Nothing named Cody or anything. All we have is Whoppers and nothing but Whoppers. Does that sound easy?"
"Sure," Sierra nodded, handing back the menu, "I know what to choose now!"
"Thank god," The employee rolled his eyes thankfully, "What will you have?"
After a deep breath, Sierra made her decision, "I'll take a large Cody!"
Hearing this, the employee gritted his teeth angrily and yanked his hair out in frustration. What the hell was wrong with Sierra? Apparently, she acts like she doesn't even know how to read. Now the employee really needed something to punch in anger. But since he didn't do that, he decided to stay calm just like any employee would do and spoke out.
"Miss," The employee said, clearing his breath for a minute, "Not that I'm trying to be impartial about your ways of choosing, BUT ARE YOU ON FUCKIN' DOPE?!"
From the employee's point of view, he noticed the way Sierra's eyes looked bloodshot all over. Like she was on drugs or something. Oh wait a minute, Sierra suddenly realized that she was on dope, considering she envisioned every item on the menu as Cody. That must be the problem.
"Is that a trick question?" Sierra raised her eyebrow, right before snorting.
"Look," The employee took in a pause, "If I give you your 'Cody', then will you get the fuck out of here?!"
"I would be so happy!" Sierra giddily exclaimed.
Twitching his eye, the employee quickly scrambled to the kitchen where he quickly put in a Whopper.
"Maybe that purple-haired bitch won't know," The employee muttered to himself.
After wrapping the Whopper in a white bag, the employee approached Sierra once more.
"Here you go," The employee replied, handing Sierra her order, "One extra-large 'Cody', with all the trimmings."
"How much will that be?" Sierra replied.
"$7, please."
After Sierra handed him the money, the employee gave her 75 cents of chance.
"Please drive safe, miss!" He exclaimed.
"Thank you!" Sierra nodded, driving off with her 'Cody'.
As soon as she drove away, the employee took in a deep sigh.
"Ahhhhh," He groaned, "Thank god in heaven, it's finally over..."
But moments after he got back to his drive-thru station...
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*SMASH!*
The hinges of the front door broke down, and smashed down on the tiles, forming a cloud of dust.
When the dust cleared out, the drive-thru employee squinted his eyes...
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...only to see a pissed-off Sierra standing there angry as a bull!
"YOOOOOOU!" Sierra screamed out, pointing at the drive-thru clerk.
"Um, hi Miss," The clerk chuckled in fear, "Welcome to Burger-"
"YOU RIPPED ME OFF!" Sierra screamed as she held up a Whopper in her right hand, "THIS ISN'T MY CODY! THIS IS JUST A SHITTY FUCKING HAMBURGER!"
"Oh, u-um," The employee stuttered, "We can expla-"
"PREPARE TO EAT MY ASS!" Sierra said in a Eva-like rage.
From the angry tone of her voice, the drive-thru clerk went down on his knees, begging for his life.
Breaking down in tears, the clerk tried to calm her down, "Miss, let's not get hasty here. Care for a free drink on the house?!"
There was no reasoning at all.
Suddenly, Sierra went berzerk as she hopped up the counter and started beating the crap out of the clerk who served her. The clerk tried her best to calm down, but nothing was calming down a crazed crackhead in the form of Sierra. He was eating punch after punch and was losing tooth after tooth. Sierra was giving him no mercy.
The drive-thru clerk started to beg again in pain, "Ma'am, stop!"
"LIKE I SAID, EAT MY ASS!" Sierra punched him once more.
While Sierra was over at the back still beating the holy hell out of employees, Cody came inside and looked around at all the damage caused by a psychotic purple-haired dopehead of a fangirl. Somehow, the buck-toothed youngster started thinking second thoughts.
"I knew it was a bad idea to come here," Cody sighed, "I should go to Wendy's instead. That place is much safer than this..."
And then, Cody left without Sierra knowing that he was here at all. And maybe for Cody, that was for the best.
Well, this was actually fun to do, although it was very random to see Sierra shout something so out-of-nowhere like 'Eat My Ass'. After all, she was actually on drugs during the remainder of this fic, so it makes sense to me. I don't know what the side effects of dope is, and basically I don't even want to know. Maybe it's something psychedelic or whatnot, but maybe you'll get the picture.
Truth is, it's randomly amusing and interesting to see my favorite characters get hopped up on different drugs like crack, cocaine, LSD and PSP. You can see what their actual reactions look like from it and such.
Anyway, do what you gotta do! ^^