AN: So after being away for a year...I have a few things to say, first of all I am sorry, and second of all, I am working on the last two chapters of The Sweetest Addiction right now, but I do need a little more time for the next one. And when I say more time, I mean sometime this month. I'd like to thank everyone who's emailed me, and expressed their hopes in me finishing the story and just the kind words in general. I love you guys...even though I've been a bad author and disappeared for a while. The last year has been really hectic but i think things are slowing down now, so when I have time I do the first thing I can and write. I'm looking for something to pick up writing after The Sweetest Addiction, I still haven't found it yet, so this is my attempt. It could be a poor one? I'm not sure because I wrote this in two hours. I'm more testing the idea and seeing if anyone likes it. So...if you like it please review, and if you don't...then it's okay I'll try harder next time:) A little bit about this story it is a triangle fic with Jacob in the middle. If I continue this the outcome will either be Edward and Jacob, or Jacob and Emmett, I haven't decided yet. And this is AU, so I'm having a lot of fun with Stephenie Meyer's creations who I don't own and will never own. So guys remember review if you see any potential in this, otherwise I most likely won't add anything else to it. But in any case thanks for reading. Love, Maddie

Disclaimer: I own Nothing.

Refuge

Chapter One- Propositioned

"You know what. Sometimes I just wish I had balls life would be so much easier with a twig and berries."

I arched an eyebrow and stopped searching around in my closet for my soccer uniform. "Huh?" That was the most random thing I'd heard all day.

Bella Swan sat up. Her hair was a disheveled mess. She tugged at her bangs with frustration and wound her hands together. "You heard me Jake. I wish that I could just use the men's bathroom because ya'll don't have to deal with the hassle. I want to whip it out and go about my business. Guys have it ridiculously easy."

"I'm sorry, but I'm so lost. All I heard you say was that you wanted to have balls. Does that mean that three years from now you'll visit me in college with a mean swag, a Pamela Anderson blow up doll on your arm, and the new name Billy Swanson?"

Bella's lips pulled up into a smile. "Jacob, this is another cotillion themed conversation. I've been talking about that fuckery for the last two weeks. What demon this side of reality told her to sign me up for that? Hi-Society. Me. In a fucking dress? Learning fucking rules. Fuck No. I mean I can't even. Fuck. A Dress? Uggh with all those fake bitches. I swear if I have to go though with this then I'm going to double bitch slap one of those ugly orange girls."

"But..." I found my lacrosse ball and tossed it around in the air. "There will be a fuck ton of hot guys there. You could lose your V card to some Charles Montgomery the third on piles of money and Persian rugs."

"Oh of course because a rich guy named Charles is totally my type." Bella crossed her legs.. "You know my type Jake. Tattoos."

Her type was 'look like it just came from jail'. Her type was questionable.

She continued on. "Rugged and manly."

"The kind of guy who travels with a Army Swiss just in case a fight breaks out, and has gang tattoos down his back."

"I'm not into gang tattoos. I was going to say tall." She tossed a pillow at me. "And you're one to talk. You told me you were gay two years ago and still I haven't been able to pin point your type. I think as long as they have a cock you're ready to rock."

She was a filthy mouthed girl. But my mouth was dirtier.

"I like tall." I said instead. "This is what I think. Go. Try it out. And if it sucks giant hairy balls then run in your frilly cotillion dress to me, and we could go to the bar pick up a few guys and lose our religion for a few hours."

Bella laughed. "Hours. I've earned mine. I want days. Are these hypothetical guys our age or older?"

"Older. I'm feeling in the mood for college guys."

Bella pumped her fists enthusiastically. "Alrighty then, where is my menu? Hell I want em all. Speaking of wanting it all. What do you want for your birthday Gemini boy? I called up Chris and Liam Hemsworth and asked them to drop by the backwoods swamp to give you the time of your life but they're busy so...Plan B."

"Plan B as in drugs, sex, and hot guys?"

Bella smiled. "Jake you are such a slut today. I love it."

"Well I blame it all on Emmett Hale. While I was kicking around the ball this morning I saw him running around the park. He was shirtless, and sweaty, and sexy as hell. I said hi to him and he wished me happy birthday, and I said right back at ya."

"His birthday is today too." Bella commented thoughtfully.

"I know. He's having a party. He told me we should come. I think he thinks we're dating."

Bella ignored that. "Then should we crash?"

My cheeks warmed. "He makes me stutter. No one makes me stutter."

"Then...let's go. Maybe you can stutter your way into giving him head in a dark bathroom.

I laughed because it was hilarious that Bella and I spent so much time talking about sex, even though our experience was severely lacking. Freshmen were getting more play than we were. My problem was that girls hit on me. If there were any gay guys in our school I didn't know it, and Bella for all her talk, she was painfully shy.

"You know you want that hot man meat!" she said out of the blue.

There were literally crickets chirping.

"Man meat?"

Bella chuckled. "I was watching this really bad porn last night. Like so bad that the woman related cum to hot man milk.

"Hot man milk." I smirked. "That sounds like something I don't want to swallow."

Bella laughed. "We are so fabulously random."

"The world just doesn't get us." I said shaking my head with a dramatic tone. Bella folded her arms behind her head. "I know it's selfish of me, but I'm glad you didn't go to Kentucky with your parents for the week."

"Jake." Bella gave me a serious look. "Every year on June 2nd my day is devoted to you because it's the next best day to March 15th my birthday." She jumped up. "So, let's get out of this house, put on your dancing shoes. We're going to get so drunk we sleep until senior year starts up."

I squinted as the sun washed in through the shutters. I was a bullshitter. Bella called me out on it all the time. I agreed to something one minute, and two minutes later, I changed my mind. She was into the zodiac crap so she blamed it on me being a Gemini, she said I just couldn't help my 'fickle' nature, but I was starting to change my mind. Today was my birthday and I did want to do something exciting. I wanted to just hop on a plane fly to the first place I could get a ticket to and start a new life somewhere, anywhere.

It would be irresponsible and reckless but I would be lying if I said that I was completely satisfied with the life I had here. For seventeen years I lived in this small South Carolina town, surrounded by swamps, crazy people, and racists. But the sad thing was that when you lived in a place for so long you just began to expect certain things like churches putting up hateful signs against gays, people throwing the bible at you to damn you for your 'sins' while absolving them for theirs, and dead end futures.

Bella nudged me. "He's changing his mind in 1...2..."

"I'm not,"

"Then why aren't you getting dressed? Go put on clothes...or shower? No offense but you smell like you've been playing soccer all day in the ninety degree heat."

"I have, until you came over."

Bella's eyebrows furrowed. "Jacob Daniel Black. Do I have to drag you out of here by the scruff of your neck? It's your birthday. You are not staying here to look after Cruella de Ville..."

"Hey Bella, c'mon..."

"What? Just because she's sick doesn't make her any less Satan's wife."

Bella had severe issues with my mom, but I couldn't blame her. Mom didn't like her. She hadn't liked Bella for the eight years we'd been best friends. She thought Bella was loud, rude, unladylike, a lesbian...which ironically Bella pretended to be just to piss her off. My mom was a hypocrite it was that simple. She raised me Christian:

"Jake pray every night. Don't you go sinning boy or the devil will get you. And I don't know why you hang around that dyke Isabella she'll turn you gay."

As I looked into Bella's eyes I saw the anger. Every attack against Bella that spewed from mom's mouth was an attack against me. She just didn't know it yet. Or maybe she did, but it didn't change the fact that she was dying.

Bella stood up and closed the door. "Are we going to cry?"

"God, I don't ever cry."

"I think you do." Bella sat down on the floor. "It's your birthday Jacob!" The enthusiasm she had before was lacking. "V cards and vodka remember."

"Yeah, but seventeen doesn't seem so grand when my mom is dying in the next room."

Bella looked down. "Jake, she told you to go out. She even asked me to come over and you know how she feels about me. There is a seat reserved on the rollercoaster to Hell right next to Satan in a top hat."

I grinned. Bella balled her fist and tapped my cheek. "You're alive. For like ever you've always been the livelier one out of us. I'm the one that's supposed to get depressed and cry about being alone forever and ridiculous things like cotillion. When you're upset and I can't fix you, what do I do? The world just isn't right when a triplet I've never met comes out to play."

I chewed on my lip. "You're not going to be alone forever."

Her brown eyes met mine and crinkled around the edges. "Double wedding in Las Vegas K Fed and Britney style?"

"Nah." I felt a little life seep back into me. "I was thinking we could do it a little more higher class." I arched my eyebrows. "Court house style."

"I'll buy the champagne."

"And I'll get the cute guys for our bachelor party."

"Are you going to let them squirt their man milk all over your hot chest!"

I laughed. "That just sounds so...wrong."

"Man milk." Bella said again. "So is my Jacob back yet?"

"Yes. If I let today pass by and I didn't do anything at all, I'm sure I'll regret it in the morning."

I took a hot, extra long shower. When I came downstairs I found Bella in the living room laughing out loud to a bad SyFy movie with a whole plate of food in front of her. One thing I could say about Bella was she always knew how to make herself comfortable. I plopped down beside her. "What are we watching?" I asked.

She took a bite of chicken and waved the drumstick over to me.

"Nah, I don't want your gnawed leftovers."

Bella playfully looked me up and down. "We're watching some mutant shark that just jumped up in the air and took down a plane. Oh and the acting is just fabulous."

I settled into the chair and laughed along to the outrageous plot, god awful CG and just all around badness that was so atrocious that it was good. Before I got too much into the movie, Bella ushered me up.

"C'mon Emmett is waiting."

"You know, we don't even know if he's gay."

"The same goes for you." Bella reasoned. "I'm the only one that knows your gay."

I shrugged. "I don't think he is though. Remember that chick he was dating sophomore year."

"Yeah, Jenna, she's pregnant and living in a trailer park with a man twice her age. She's been through the whole school. A ride on the Jenna-mobile doesn't make you straight. Even gay guys hit that because it's that easy."

"Um...I'm gay and I don't want her vagina."

Bella laughed. "No you want dick Jake."

"Are you horny too or something?"

"Well clearly. It's your birthday, but I'm not objecting a little summer romance."

"Jacob."

Bella and I turned around. Miss Edwina Berry stared back at us. She was a bird of a woman with a turtle neck that she always wore, even in the June heat, and a voice that was quiet as a mouse. She started living with us once mom's cancer progressed and the doctors sent her home.

"Yes Miss Berry."

"Your mama wants to see you before you go out."

I excused myself and went up the stairs. Mom's room was at the opposite end of the hall. From outside I could hear the hymns and gospel music she listened to 24/7. Her room was always cold, and I always had this feeling of wanting to run whenever I stepped into it. My emotions tended to be complex. Too complex for me to understand at times. I felt sad. Deeply sad. But I didn't know how to handle the sadness. I never cried in front of her, or told her that I loved her, even though I did, and I didn't even fathom how I would handle her death.

Surely she would die. Her throat closed up. She lost so much weight. She talked about heaven all the time and God's grace. I tuned her out when she talked like that because I was too young to think about Heaven...and I was too young to be without a parent even if...the parent I had would probably kick me out for telling her that I was gay.

Her watery eyes found mine.

I felt my heart ache. It hurt like hell. But I thought about something else. I thought about freedom. Soccer starting up in the fall. Lacrosse in the spring. Yale or Harvard...even with all A's I probably wouldn't get into Harvard. Boxer's or briefs. Boxer Briefs. And then she touched my hand. Her fingers were cool to the touch and I felt as if for the first second in forever we were really connecting.

"I hate this music." I said softly.

"This is the lord's music."

"I still hate it."

"Jacob. I'm sorry that I couldn't get you anything for your birthday."

"It's alright ma, it's just another day."

"No it's not." She whispered. "There is only one reason why I'm still here." Her lips began to tremble.

I bit down on my cheek hard. The emotion settled right behind my eyes. I remembered Sunday picnics with her. Town fairs. Listening to her talk trash about the neighbors on the porch swing, and I remembered her giving me haircuts and telling me that I was her supplanter in faith, love, and life which was why she named me Jacob.

"I couldn't buy you anything because I couldn't get out and..."

I gave her a hug. "Next year."

Her hollowed eyes softened. What she didn't say was there wouldn't be a next year. But underneath all my delusions and fronts I already knew that.

"In the closet..." She weakly gestured over to the door. "I started something a good while back. I wanted to give it to you on your eighteenth birthday but..."Her words got lost in the sound of the music. "I don't want you to worry. Everything will be okay sweetheart. Even if I'm...I'd stay here out of spite to make sure that you're taken care of."

I swallowed. "Bella and I are going to a movie."

"No violent ones. Violent movies turn kids into serial killers or Casey Anthony."

I smiled weakly. "You're a crazy woman."

"I know, but this crazy woman loves you." She touched my face. "I can give you my 'present' later. Go out tonight and have fun with Bella, don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Her hand dropped down to mine and she squeezed it gently. "I love you more than the..."

"Earth,"

"And the sun." She weakly sung.

"And the sky." It was a lullaby that she used to sing to me. I chewed on my lip and looked down. "Bella's not gay, mom."

"It doesn't matter anymore if she is." Mom swallowed and her face twisted with discomfort. She looked so painfully frail. "When I'm gone..."

"Hey maybe we should look at your gift now?"

"Jake, we haven't talked about it at all. I am going to die. It could be today..." Her eyes stared forlornly at me, "But I wish for any other day...because today is your day. I don't want your birthday to forever be tied with my death.

"Yeah, this is kind of depressing." I said airily as if I was unaffected.

"Jake, when I'm gone. I know Bella will look after you for me..." Tears streamed down her cheeks, and at the sight of her tears I finally managed to do the thing that I came in here wanting to do. I ran. I ran like I was on the fucking soccer field and I linked my arm in Bella's the second I was downstairs.

When we were in the car Bella asked if I wanted to talk about it. But the last thing I needed was for her to be my Ricki Lake so I turned up the music in her beat-up truck as loud as it could go. We used our fake ID's to score some alcohol. I was Pedro Monroe...not sure how that worked for me every time, and Bella was Gerty Rose. We drank half a bottle of moscato and then shared a Coors, and we were off to the party.

I wanted to get fucked up tonight. In both ways. I didn't want to be Jacob Black the responsible, straight A jock, that looked after his dying mother. Tonight I just wanted to be Jacob the kid who didn't give a fuck. I wanted to numb every emotion in my body struggling to surface and debilitate myself completely. I even wanted to forget my birthday, because honestly it was doomed from the moment the word 'terminal' knocked on my door and resided in mom's room with gospel music.

The party was ridiculous. Emmett Hale had rented out a mansion. Because he had enough money to do that, and his parents wouldn't let him have the party at theirs. There were lights everywhere, bodies dancing wildly, streamers falling from the ceiling, and glitter. Bella told me that she was going to get us more drinks. I nodded. The music captured my soul. Lady GaGa was playing. I wanted to dance. Make myself the center of attention, just lose it in a beautifully fucked up way, but I just couldn't tap into that side of me.

I doubted even a whole bottle of moonshine could have that cathartic effect I craved. So I looked around for Bella. I saw her give the bartender her fake ass ID with a blonde chick on it who looked like Lindsay Lohan after the booze and drugs...and then I escaped. I went upstairs to a room that wasn't being use for sex, hookahs, or a combination of the two, and I closed the door behind me.

I sighed and walked around to the side of the bed facing the window and I slid down to the floor. I buried my face in my hands and I tried not to think about anything. The door opened and light spilled inside. I sat up, but didn't show myself. The door closed and the light was gone.

Footsteps echoed on the carpet and the bed gave way.

"Ed, how exactly are we going to pull this off again?"

"Simple, grab Emmett and go just like we're using the five finger discount at Wal-Mart."

"Edward he's not exactly a bag of chips. Emmett Hale is a big dude."

"Trust me. I have it all figured out."

"When you tell me to trust you people get killed. I got a bullet in my leg from your trust."

My eyebrows furrowed.

"Then don't trust me, but you're gonna do what I say. You got a debt. I got a debt. We don't have a choice but to fix the mess we're in...and the easiest way to do that this side of Mexico is the classic ransom. Take daddy's prize. Daddy pays us money. We go skipping off into the sunset without the Dixie Mafia on our backs.

I swallowed hard. What the fuck.

There was a moment of silence.

"What if we pay them and they still want us dead. I mean Edward we fucked up. You killed..."

"I know who I killed. I did what I had to do."

Silence again.

"Turn on the lights."

"Edward I really hope this works. I know they're on our tracks. I thought I saw a guy at the rest area in North Carolina watching us...if they find us they aren't just going to kill us...they're going to make us suffer..."

"Turn on the fucking lights will you!"

"I just don't want to die." The other guy whined. "I got a baby coming Edward. A fucking baby. And a fiancé...I didn't mean to get this deep." The light turned on.

I scrambled to sink even further down. I heard a gun click.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I felt like I was dreaming. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Just a few minutes ago I was getting 'emotional' over mom's cancer, the sadness that was my seventeenth birthday, and thinking about my future, and now I was...I didn't actually know what this was. My heart started to thump in my chest. I felt like pulling a SyFy movie and flinging myself from the window. Two story fall or shot to the heart with a gun? How was I in this situation again! Fuck this!

"No use ducking down. You're breathing as quietly as a big ass Hess truck speeding down the highway. Get up and maybe I won't hurt you."

My cheeks warmed as I stood up slowly. "Uh what?" I pretended to be drunk. "Sorry I must've just passed out." I blinked my eyes a few times. "What's going on? Dude, I just fell asleep..."
"I thought you were drunk, dude." He took a step closer to me. His green eyes were fierce and predatory, but his face was strangely innocent. "How much did you hear pretty boy?"

I swallowed. He was onto me. "Look. I didn't hear anything. I'm just going to go back downstairs and leave."

Green eyes clicked his tongue. "What's your name sweetheart?"

My eyes darted between the green eyed guy and his friend. "Victor." I lied.

Green eyes smiled. His lips were full and painted the same shade as blood. "It seems that I've forgotten my southern manners. Edward Masen. Very nice to meet you."

I bit the inside of my cheek. He still had the gun trained straight at my heart. I took a step forward.

"Take one more step and I'll shoot you like a dog."

Now another emotion took over. Fight or Flight. Fear or Die. Survive and Live. I'd have to take my chances. I wasn't going to die tonight. Not on my birthday. Not when mom was home sick waiting for me to get back. Not a virgin. Not without living. No. I had to fight.

"So here's the cliff notes version baby boy. We owe some money. The Dixie Mafia is coming with chains, ropes, and nunchucks and you're in a wrong place at the wrong time situation. I won't hurt you. I'll let you live on the condition that you bring Emmett Hale up here to me."

"Emmm...I um...I don't know who that is."

"Don't fucking bullshit me. This is his party. You're here. He's royalty in this bum fuck town. You know who the fuck he is..."

"Ed, you're going to make the kid pee in his pants. Just let him go."

"Sure, I'll let him go, and while I do that, I'll just get the rope myself, and save those good ol' boys the time and energy of lynching us."

His friend looked down. "He's a kid. How old are you kid."

Edward pushed his friend. "Peter, this is not the time to use your worthless theology degree! Step back." He turned to me like a vicious snake. "Wallet." He barked.

"What."

He clicked his gun. "Wallet. My accent is no thicker than yours kid."

I gave him my wallet with fumbling hands. He flipped through and threw out everything except for cash, which he pocketed, and my driver's license. He smirked, his smile was a mixture of sin and twisted beauty. "It looks like we got a liar on our hands. Jacob Daniel Black. Birthday, June 2nd, 1994, happy birthday by the way, oh and here's your address." He squinted down at the driver's license. "So here is how things are going to go Jakey Jake, birthday boy, you're going to get Emmett Hale outside going over in the direction of the magnolia trees...I don't care how you do it. Promise him the best head he's had in his life, tell him you got him hookers...promise him drugs, whatever, be creative, just get his ass over to us."

"But if you say anything, anything at all. Then I swear to the God that I don't believe in that I'll kill you. I'll kill you. And Then I'll kill your brunette friend downstairs. And after that I'll go to your house and I'll unload my gun in everyone's head I see. You got it?"

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