Embraced
Companion piece to Ignored.
Tumblr Prompt: With Tommy being traded and finding out about Mike and Amelia. Ginny Baker is spiraling, and wondering if her career is worth feeling this lonely?
Ginny just gave Amelia the answer she knew the woman wanted to hear. All the while she ignored the icy feeling that started in her belly and was quickly spreading out to the rest of her body. She also knew that Amelia was being damn strategic with where she decided to break this news. No way in hell would Ginny throw a tantrum or make a scene while still at the stadium.
A pained smile that Amelia conveniently ignored and she turned to walk away.
Her phone began to vibrate and without looking she knew who it would be. Who else could it be with the shit that Amelia just pulled. Mike was always late – even on game days; he wasn't even in the stadium - yet.
She had to pretend with Amelia to save face. So long as she didn't answer her phone, she wouldn't have to swallow the hurt and anger rolling around insides.
So, she hit ignore.
Again, her phone began to vibrate and she tapped ignore another time. With only a moment's hesitation she just turned her phone off. There was no way she could deal with Mike right now.
She needed to get her head on straight.
Tommy being traded stung and she couldn't help but wonder if her threats about Blip were the cause of it. Or if perhaps she wasn't that important and she had already done irreparable damage to her already tenuous position with the club. The loss of Tommy hurt, they were finally getting along. The 2 had taken to texting each other so they could keep up a constant stream of ripping on each other. It felt good, she finally felt like she was starting to fit in. To have Tommy just up and disappear was jarring but she could have dealt with it, if there were somewhere to turn to, someone else to commiserate with, it was the name of the game after all.
But that safe harbor was now fucking her agent. So, not a safe harbor anymore. Not hers, anyway.
Ginny's self-recriminations and negative ruminations were interrupted by the appearance of Oscar.
"Oscar,"
He held up a hand and shook his head.
"You have a job to do and so do I,"
"I know, I just wanted to apologize. I was out of line, I hope – "
"Ginny like I said you have your job and I have mine. It was a crazy few hours. Emotions run high. You're new to this. I snapped at you and I'm sorry too but we're good."
Oscar, saw she was still hesitant, he reached out a hand and gently touched her shoulder.
"We're good,"
The smile he received in response was more genuine. The two shared another small smile and nod before Oscar moved on.
Ginny was once again left alone with her thoughts – which was always a dangerous thing.
Rather than dwell on the things that couldn't or wouldn't change. She made sure to get dressed in her uniform quickly and her notorious headphones made their way over her ears. Ginny kept herself sequestered in her own little world, away from her team. Something that hadn't happened in weeks.
It was another 15 minutes before there was a sharp knock on her little corner of the clubhouse.
"Hey girl, what you doin' hidin' up in here?" Blip teased.
Half a beat of indecision.
"Did you know?"
The smile dropped from his face.
"Fuckin' Mike Lawson," he muttered.
"Amelia is apparently doing that,"
"Gin… I just found out. Like, it was during the whole trade rumors and just – I'm sorry,"
"Nah, you're good I just found out now myself,"
"What!?" Blip asked, shock coloring his voice.
Ginny began a slow nod before she sucked her teeth in frustration.
"Amelia figured right before a game was a good time,"
Blip couldn't do anything but stand there mouth agape. What the hell was Amelia thinking? To mess with a player's head like this a few minutes before a damn game?
"Do I even have a right to be upset? Should I even be mad about this?" She asked, her voice shaking.
A heavy sigh. Blip fell into the chair across from her.
"She's your manager, he's your captain, your catcher, ya'll was – "
"Friends… or I thought so anyway,"
"Gin,"
"He's an adult, she's an adult – it's their personal lives. I shouldn't be mad about this."
"You're not,"
Ginny turned to him wide eyed.
"You ain't mad they fuckin, let's keep it real."
Ginny's head began to nod in agreement. A heavy sigh escaped her and she just sunk back into her chair, an air of defeat surrounding her. She knew she could always count on Blip to keep it real.
"What do you need?"
Before she could answer a heavy bang came from the door.
"Yo! Rookie let's go!"
Blip and Ginny exchange a look and without a word, Blip was out the door. She can hear hushed whispers and Mike's throaty growl before all goes silent. Half a beat and there's a gentle double tap at her door before footsteps start to move away from the door. She knew it was Blip's way of letting her know it was all clear.
Deep breath.
In and out.
Then Ginny was out the door and linked up with her team, all smiles. Ready to lock down yet another win. She and Lawson only exchange words when necessary. She played a good game, didn't call him off once, despite his 2 separate trips to the mound.
At the end of the day, she changed quickly not even bothering to shower and headed out of the clubhouse and back to her serviced apartment. Normally, she'd meet up with Amelia but they have the next 2 days off and with a quick text, she blew both Amelia and Elliot off to go hide in her apartment. Ginny didn't even remember how she got home, what she did know was that she was finally locked safely away from the world. No one to intrude, no one to bother her. Blip and Evelyn were going to take some much needed family time, and while she was welcome, she didn't want to intrude – not this time.
As the darkness of the apartment swallowed her up, she shucked offer her sweaty clothing and made her way for the shower. She turned on the taps as hot as she could stand and stepped under the spray with a heavy sigh.
Was any of what was happening even worth it anymore? She was miles from home with almost no friends or support system to rely on. Not that home was much better. A mother who she couldn't stand to be around majority of the time and while she loved her brother, he was trying to make his own way in the world. His world didn't need to stop just because his baby sister was having a hard time. Blip and Evelyn were god sends but they had their own lives, they were married and had 2 of the coolest kids she'd ever encountered. They didn't need her around, dragging either of them down with all her problems. Amelia was… Amelia was her agent and that was it. She needed to remember that. No matter how attached she got, when Amelia looked at her – well she wasn't entirely sure what Amelia saw when she looked at her but she was sure there were dollar signs floating around.
As for Mike… That was something Ginny didn't even want to attempt to dissect right then and there. She knew they were teammates but she also allowed herself to believe they had become friends. There was always an undercurrent of something else, something more but it was by mutual unspoken agreement to not touch it, to never go there. That was okay, more than okay because being Mike Lawson's friend was good enough for Ginny – but it looked as though she didn't even have that.
The water had become cold and she began to shiver. It was time to get out. Another 5 minutes and she was dressed in sweats with her hair damp around her shoulders. She now stood in the dark and the quiet of her apartment – lost.
"Girl, what are you doin'?"
Eyes sad and wide. She had no answer.
Bill Baker stood across from his daughter looking the way he always did, in a mixture of pride and frustration.
"You need to get your head right,"
A faint nod was his response.
"What are you here to do?" He asked.
Blank eyes look back at him.
"Girl, I asked – what are you here to do?" He asked again, with more force.
"To play ball," in a whisper.
"Damn right, to play ball – so what else matters?"
"Nothing," another whisper.
"So what are you going to do?"
"Play ball,"
Her father nodded his head in agreement.
"Get some rest – you're gonna need it,"
Bill Baker turned and began to walk away, disappearing as quickly as he had appeared.
Ginny was once again left alone in the dark and in the quiet of her room. She quietly climbed into bed and brought the duvet up over her shoulders. The only sound that could be heard was the rustling of the covers and her breathing.
A cold quiet settled over and in her.
She loved baseball. She was here to play ball and that was all that mattered.
Ginny slipped further underneath the covers and embraced the quiet.
It was better this way.
So, lost she didn't hear the heavy bangs.
She didn't hear Mike calling for her through the door.
It was better, safer in the quiet.
Bit dark, sorry about that.