The Return of a King
"My lady, I don't like deceiving Merlin."
The queen put a gentle hand on the elderly physician's arm. "I know, Gaius, I don't like it either." She turned away, twisting her hands together in frustration. "But you know that he is set against this plan. He won't even allow us to discuss it with him. How can we proceed unless he believes we have given up the idea?"
"Gwen, you know he still blames himself for the king's death," he reminded her. "That anyone but he should pay a price for Arthur's loss is unthinkable to him now."
He paused and tentatively put forth the same suggestion he had made before. "What if we were to wait, give him more time to grieve and accept our plan?"
The beautiful woman began to pace the stone floor of the chamber. "How long, Gaius, would you have us wait? It has been three years since Mordred killed my husband, and Merlin is now as he was when he returned here from Avalon."
She turned again to face one of her oldest friends in the castle, "Gaius, Arthur was the dearest person on this earth to me. I loved him with all my heart!" She paused, feeling the old pain rise up to choke her. She would not cry again, or at least not now. "And yet I know, from all you have told me of the most ancient prophecies, that Arthur is still the Once and Future King. And although I - I" she stopped again, willing her emotions to obey her will, "I will not see him again, he will return in the future."
Her trusted advisor reassured his sovereign, "Merlin knows this too, my lady!"
"But he will not take the steps to prepare for that!"
"He will," Gaius insisted, "he will. Can you doubt that knowing how much he has done for Arthur these past years?"
"When?" she demanded, the full authority of the throne of Camelot behind the single word.
The old man let his eyes drop.
"I cannot say, my lady," he admitted. "As you loved our king, so did Merlin in his own way. His grief is more powerful than I had imagined. And the guilt he feels on top of it . . . It only delays his heart's ability to heal."
"Oh, Gaius," she murmured, coming to clasp the physician's hands in her own, "I know that, I understand that. But I do not think we can afford to wait for that healing to take place. How many years will that be? We have peace now, but you know it will be challenged again. What if Leon and Percival were to die in battle?"
Queen Guinevere of Camelot broke away from the comfort of her friend. "We must act now. Leon and Percival desire this with all their hearts, as much as it also frightens them. Would you deny them this last chance to serve their king?"
Gaius was struck by the truth of her words and the conviction her voice carried.
"No, Your Highness, I would not deny them that. How can I when I wish I could do it myself?" he continued on, but his next words were tinged with bitterness. "But I know that service is not for me. I failed him, too, and I am too old to have a chance to put it right."
The elderly man's pain broke through Gwen's steely resolve to not give way to emotion. Her brown eyes filled with sudden tears at hearing how broken this dear and loyal friend sounded.
"Please do not say such things, Gaius," she said. "Shall I tell you how glad I am that this is not your task? Do you not know how I depend upon you? Can you not see how much Camelot yet requires you? I am selfish enough to deny you to Arthur's future need to keep you for our present ones."
"I am sorry, Gwen, I would not leave you," he answered, moving to hold her in a brief hug. "Will you forgive an old man his own grief and guilt?"
"There is nothing to forgive, and you know it," she returned, a small smile giving heart to her words. "It does all get the better of us when we least expect it, doesn't it?" She gave a sigh, and then drew herself up, regaining the mantle of responsibility that was hers as Arthur's queen.
"Gaius, I know we cannot keep the knowledge of the deed from Merlin for long. But we only need to keep it from him long enough to carry out the ritual, so that he cannot prevent us."
"It will wound him deeply, my lady," he said somberly
"I know it will," she admitted, "I can only hope that his love for Arthur and for us will allow him to forgive in time."
There was a moment of deep silence and then the physician who had magic asked his queen, "When do we this, Gwen?"
"Tomorrow night, Gaius, the first night of the full moon. We will ride with Leon and Percival to the cave and there they will pass into sleep, waiting to serve Arthur again when he returns."