Words

by chinochan-inulover

If she was something she would admit, it was that she was troubled. nonetheless, her resolve would not waver. After what she had seen, she knew she had to make a decision. And that decision was to forget the past seven years. Au, One-shot.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, only the plot.

Author's note: it's absolutely not beta'ed and not even corrected so please don't bother me with that, when I have the patience I'll do something about it, I found this on an old, old folder. It had been written long ago, but I nurture a great affection for this story. Instead of keeping it here indefinitely I decided to share it with you and not make it bigger and more complex.

Also, I am developing an awesome Thor/Avengers fic with Loki and Sigyn as main shipper, since there seems to be so little of them, and Tom Hiddleston embodied Loki so marvelously, I fell in love with them both.

---

"The time for plural truths it is over. We live in the times of universal lie. Never before we lied so much. We live in the lie, everyday."

"A alegoria chega quando descrever a realidade já não nos serve. Os escritores e artistas trabalham nas trevas e, como cegos, tacteiam na escuridão." In Público

The allegory comes when describing reality doesn't do it for us anymore. Writers and artists work in darkness and, like blind, poke around in the blackness.

O amor e uma possibilidade de uma vida inteira, e se acontece, há que recebê-lo" in Maxima

Love is one possibility of an entire life, and if it comes, we should welcome it

---

"Thank you and come again"

As she smiled to those over hormone ruled teenagers leaving the room of Ancient studies of Minato Ward Library, she thought that maybe, just maybe she should have stick sign on the door saying "Teens not allowed". First they had shown up, perturbing her delightful silence, and then they had made her climb the star to the last shelf to get a book, which had a title they didn't even know how to say. And they'd made it all to enjoy the view of her nice long sculpted naked legs. She should follow Kaede's advice and didn't bring skirts here… at the time she hadn't paid attentions to the old woman's advice, honestly she'd thought she was just being a stuck up old woman. Well now she knew better and she was decided to follow everyone of Kaede's advice. Well… not all.

Sighing heavily she threw herself to her chair and looked wearily to the ceiling. The whole structure of the library was new and alive, vibrant with silent but dynamic crowds entering and exiting, moving among the shelves. It filled her with frenzied thoughts, she felt it in her skin.

But this room, ancient studies, was almost always the exception. Very few college students or anyone else for that matter, often it was completely, utterly empty but for her. And other kinds of dirty little maggots…

She couldn't complain really. Although quite boring and lonely her job in the library helped her pay her bills and college, and she did like Japanese History. She liked everything about it, except the fact that it didn't seem to impress anyone else but her. Nowadays the only persons who seemed to come were either old geezers or teenagers and both classified as pervert and lecherous, there were even some who came motivated by curiosity, most of the times they didn't stay very long, probably intimidated by the antique armors and katanas, or maybe it was the old, frail looking scrolls that covered the entire back wall. Everything about the room she worked in seemed claustrophobically untouchable, breakable.

As she opened her drawer to munch on some chips she kept there, hidden from Kaede, who would totally kill her if she found out that she was handling such greasy stuff near such valuable objects. And just because her heels were killing her she took them off and folded her legs, tucking her feet under her bottom on her big leather chair. After ending the chips she drank a soda she also kept in her drawer, moving her chair in circles and leisurely thinking about what she would so for her assignment for her Photography class.

She should just give up on Communication Design, already on the second year, she thought it dreadful.

The whole idea of spending the rest of her life doing something like that, when what she really loved to do was painting, was idiotic. But then what would she say to momma, who had worked so hard to complement the money dad had left to fund college for her and Souta? Sure there was always the Fine-arts course, but she wanted to paint and sell, on the streets or in a gallery- she really didn't mind. She just wanted to paint.

But how to explain your own mother that what you really aim and dream about is to seat in a sidewalk in grungy jeans and sell your paintings?

Staring ahead at the fissure in the ceiling she raised her sore calves and feet and propped them on the empty counter in front of her.

Her eyes escaped to the Demon history section and she swallowed the lump that lodged in her throat. If there was one thing she didn't want to think about that something was him.

A mantra started to sound in her head. I do not miss him. I do not miss him… Kami forgive her for being a fool but did she miss him. Grey eyes swiveled to those doors he hadn't touched in two weeks. She bit her full pouty lips aware of the damage she was doing when she ripped the skin and felt the taste of blood flooding her palate. And all this to avoid crying for that bastard.

Crushing the soda can she threw it into the garbage next to her, and decided to tell Kaede it had been one of those thugs that had tried to sneak in just to see her legs. Luckily, today she had called Totosai and he was helping her fetching the higher books, the kids could go screw themselves, but maybe if she told Kaede that they were bringing food inside she'd ban them. The old woman and director was an easygoing kind woman, but no one should ever cross a foot in her path. She was also downright scary when she was pissed.

Blowing a strand of dark hair that had fallen in her face, consequently crossing her eyes and gaining a headache she thought that maybe, just maybe it was time to finally forget him. Through all high school she had nurtured a pathetic hope that maybe one day he'd stop looking at her as geek Kagome, or as friend Kagome, or as little sister Kagome, best friend Kagome, and start looking at her as woman Kagome. Everyone did, she was harassed every day for her exotic and elegant looks. But not him, oh no. For as long as they had met- since her best friend had started dating his best friend in 10th grade- he could only see her as that kind of girl which is never the lover, or the girlfriend- she was always the friend. That sickened her and pained her, but she had fed the hope that one day he'd see her for what she really was, for what she really felt- she loved him.

But no, oh no.

Last week, irony of ironies she'd caught him, in her family house, in her bedroom, shagging her older sister.

So she knew he had had some kind of crush on Kikyo when he was a teenager, but for Kami sake she was like so, so much older.

And in her room nonetheless! The place where some many important things that had marked and characterized their friendship of years had happened and he'd done it on her bed? Disgusting! She was glad she didn't live there anymore!

It disgusted her, but it also opened her eyes. Kikyo had always been one stuck up bitch, a fruit of her mother's previous relationship, she had been jealous that her mother had given more attention to Kagome than to her- which was normal- seeing she was younger eight years, since she had been born Kikyo had tried to steal everything from her. Kagome guessed she had heard her conversation with Sango on the phone when, a week before Kagome had found her best friend and her sister in bed.

She was sick of hiding what she felt, she was sick of dressing up for him and him not even noticing, she was sick of staying in the shadows when they got out and he decided to pick up some bimbos. She was sick, but now there was no use in telling him that. It had been ridiculous, this passion she had. It was time to forget it, and for that she would cut bonds. Something in her had snapped and she was giving up on him.

Sango told her she was doing the right thing- it was time to let him go. Miroku affirmed that she was committing the biggest mistake ever, but in his monk wisdom he also added that sometimes big mistakes brought fortune. She laughed at him and he shrugged.

Decided she was.

Looking for a gum in her drawer she frowned angrily when she couldn't find one. What the hell? She'd bought a pack Digi-gum yesterday. She was sure she had left it here somewhere… where could it be if not in her secret drawer where she kept everything that was personal?

Reaching for her bag in the floor next to her, she opened the zipper and checked out the small pockets inside, but the orange flavored xylish gums weren't there. It irritated her to no end that she couldn't find something she knew she had them… supporting one elbow in one crossed arm and her chin with her index finger she rebuilt yesterday trying to understand where her digi-gums were.

Twirling the chair she begun to remember, after arriving to her desk she had put her bag down, pack of gums still in hand and the phone had rang. Of course! Miroku had called looking for a book and she had immediately gone looking for it, her pack of Xylish had gone with her since she hadn't stopped holding on to it. Ah-ah! Then they were in the Buddhism section! That must be it. Seeing Miroku had been the one getting her this job, she had to help him at all hours whenever he wanted. Not that she was complaining, she assured herself, as she strolled between high old wooden shelves corridors to get to the section she wanted, in all truth when Miroku called at least she knew that he was serious about the book. How odd that Miroku wasn't the lecherous one in her job, Sango would laugh at the thought as she now did.

Finally reaching the she sought for the book which Miroku had asked for… which was it again? Something about Tibetan Wisdom… Finding herself in front of the self where she was sure she had taken the book from, the raven haired girl buffed annoyed, almost outraged. What nerve! It was too tall! The damn shell, Miroku, the book, the Digi-gums (especially the Digi-gums) were mocking her! She remembered that that day had been especially quiet and Totosai wasn't there. She had been using the ladder herself.

Looking up to where she could almost touch if she just stood in her toes and reach as high as she could, Kagome sighed. Knowing that she could almost reach it wasn't enough. The librarian was absolutely sure that she couldn't reach the shelf where she could see "The wonders of disposing of materialist life" tumbling to the right, where there was an empty space in the place of the book she had taken to Miroku.

Her joints popped and her whole body stiffened for the stretch she was doing. Almost…she wiggled her fingers, trying to reach the end of the package sticking out… almost….

A hand, much larger than hers, closed around the package easily, without any signs of effort or stress by doing so. Kagome looked horrified to the polished well kept hard as iron claws. Then to the man that the hand led to.

Shit.

And she had been doing such a good job at avoiding him too!

Snatching the Digi-gums from her, he gripped them much more strongly than what he needed to, and in a fist brought his hand to the pockets of his light grey Nike hoodie. Half of his hair caught in a tail falling over the rest of the silver strands and downy inu ears laid back against the skull, told her very clearly, along with those narrowed dark amber eyes that this wasn't going to be especially pleasant for her.

A flash exploded in her mind's eye, as if one of those first photographic camera's flashes and she narrowed her grey eyes too. The image, forever engraved in her mind, of his body on top of Kikyo's, thrusting and gruting on her bedroom, on her bed… Gods it nauseated her!

"What do you want?"

The grey eyed young woman wasn't expecting to sound so hostile. In all truth she wanted to look cool, like nothing was wrong. Foolishly, she had immediately shown how hurt she was to the one person she didn't want to show it. So she loved him. Big deal… It was time to get over it… that silly crush had evolved in grotesque proportions and it was time to put an end to it. Inuyasha would never feel the same; there was no point on confessing, but to destroy their friendship. Until then she hadn't wanted to do so. Right now she didn't care. She just didn't give a shit anymore.

Kagome, you big idiot.

She noticed how his ears twitched and how his mouth fell slightly in an almost invisible frown. He stepped forwards and she stepped back. Her grey eyes never left his, but as moments of the scene she had seen in that weekend, repeated endless times before her eyes, she felt as if her body was freezing on the inside, her grey eyes turned more silver and stony than before.

"Can we talk?" His voice was hoarse as if he had just had a fight with someone. Seeing it was Inuyasha, foul mouthed and bad tempered hanyou she was dealing with, that wouldn't be surprising. But the tone was tentative, for a split second he wavered. She didn't care.

Decided she was.

"There's a reason I'm not picking up your calls nor answering your texts"

Her answer, she could see that rocked him from the inside. He winced, dazed with the jab of pain he felt inside. To her it looked as if he was being electrocuted. She didn't mind… In fact she thought that maybe some shock treatment wouldn't do him so bad.

Silence hung between them and he masked his bottom lip for a second. Maybe she should leave… She even pondered about it. But this was her working place and she wanted her Digi-gums. He was the one who needed to get out. Inuyasha seemed to be pondering for an answer endlessly… she could see through the pockets on his hoodie that he was flexing his fingers.

"What happened between me and Kikyo…"

"Is absolutely none of my business." He swallowed when after her brisk interruption she stepped back again and frowned when he tried to approach her. "Look, can you give me back my gums and just leave?"

"You don't understand…" he tried again, failing miserably when she shrugged his hand which had extended to touch her shoulder.

"Don't touch me."

"Kagome, please, you don't understand! It was not what you think…" His voice was excruciatingly pleading. He rarely, even with her, used that tone. Why should she care? Even if she did forgive him for having done what he had done, it didn't matter because distance was the only way of working herself out of the stupid love she felt for him

"I think I can recognize sex when I see it, thank you very much." She muttered with disdain her answer and then added. "I don't need any explanations, and you don't owe me any. I'm just doing what's best for both of us."

Shooting a last lingering look at his hands where he kept the stolen gums she huffed and turned her back to him walking in the opposite directions, to her desk and praying for the first time in her 22 year old short life that there were some punks or some elderly man there to leech on her. Maybe then he'd go. Maybe like that, she could let go easily.

Easily! Ah! You do not forget seven years of friendship, and love like that…

It was as if she had heard him snap even before his thick hand caught her arm not that gently and jerked her to him. He was clinging desperately to that part of her body. Her eyes ferociously shot him a furious look.

"Don't be an idiot. Let go of me and go away."

"Why can't you fucking try to understand?" he whispered angrily, shaking her as his hand grasped her limb harder, his hand trembling as much as his body. His whispering was desperate, urging, bordering on ire. Bringing her closer to him, Inuyasha lowered his head and she could see how tense his jaw was, his whole body shook, a sweat bead coursed his forehead then his jaw and stopped at his chin, falling in the scarce space that was between them.

"What is there to understand?" her murmur, for a second seemed to pass him by without him even noticing, his eyes locked on hers with a depth that scared her. Inuyasha had never scared her. And she had seen him furious- always with other person of course, never with her- but she always feared for the other's safety, she was never concerned with his. Inuyasha had never been as intense in all his shouting fighting and cursing, as he was being right now, crushing her arm, in a silent abuse of her spirit. "You fucked her on my bed, when I asked you over. There really isn't much more to understand."

Jerking her to him again, she could hear the grinding of his fangs; she could see his jaws clenching and unclenching, his eyes darkening and rimming red.

"It's not as linear."

"To me it is. I think it's time we go separate ways Inuyasha. It's what's best."

Almost shouting in his urgent whispering, Inuyasha confronted her.

"Why do you think you know what's best? The best for me is…"

"Higurashi! Hey Higurashi are you in here?" the abrupt interruption made him hold on her slacken and that was exactly when she tugged off of it brutally, his claws scraped her and almost ripping her white shirt she was wearing. When Kagome dashed to her desk, recognizing the voice and hoping against all hope that Inuyasha didn't, she noticed he stayed behind, maybe a little dazed and confused.

Truth was, she had forgotten to mention that not only brats and old perverts visited here… there was also…

"Hojo-kun!" her exclamation brought Hojo bright eyes to her. So he was in love for her for as long as she was in love with Inuyasha. How ridiculous. Inuyasha hated him, they were total opposites, and the hanyou had always discouraged for them to get along. Hojo-kun's ordinary dark eyes fell on her scraped forearm and then on something beyond her and she knew that he'd spotted Inuyasha when he got out from the corridors that the shelves formed.

The young boy frowned and she could feel the tension on the man behind her. Putting a false smile on her face she walked to Hojo, the only noise was that made by the click of her heels – that, disgruntled, she had put on again – in the old wooden floor. She could feel amber eyes on her, on her every move. Knowing he was already too stressed, she didn't want to trigger something that would probably cause problems to Hojo's safety.

"Do you need anything?" she tried to sound pleasant and he reluctantly dislodged his eyes from her sleeve to her beautiful grey eyes.

"Are you alright, Higurashi?" his voice was soft and hesitant, and he searched her eyes. She nodded cheerily and smiled again. Hearing and feeling more than hearing the rumbling inside Inuyasha's chest she knew what it meant and tried to speed it up.

"Hojo-kun, do you need something?"

"I…" grabbing her hand he deposited something there, closing her hands afterwards. Then he blushed and dropped some books that he told Kaede had asked him to leave to her. Hojo was volunteering to help around the Library in anything.

"Bye Higurashi! I'll see you tomorrow"

When the boy was out of the door she checked what he had left in her hand. It was a pack of Sparkling Ninja Chewing Gum, wrinkling her nose at the dislike she had for the brand she left it at her desk. And then suddenly Inuyasha's body heat was back. He didn't touch her but his chest was millimeters away from her back, his breath grazing her neck and ear, she felt goosebumps erupting, as were her baby hairs, something in her belly coiled. He sniffled and immediately chastised herself for letting him smell her anxiety.

"You don't understand how I feel."

"I know what I saw!" she murmured bitterly. "What do you want Inuyasha? Just say what you came here to say and leave."

She felt him move. She realized she was waiting to feel the warmth of one of his hands in her body. Tough chance…you idiot.

She had to stop thinking about stuff like that. After today, Inuyasha was gonna be in the past.

"I missed you" he whispered, softly, tenderly, as if his words were giving her the caress that his hands hadn't. "So much... I don't even remember ever being so much time without you. Have I? I don't think so…"

She remained silent until the words bubbled in her mouth, and she could no longer hold them in.

"You haven't"

She felt the tip of his nose rubbing her long glossy blue hued black hair. The feeling of knot in throat and butterflies in the stomach came by.

"Why do I feel like I can't breathe without you?"

Would Yash really lie to you like this? You saw him between Kikyo's legs, you weren't dreaming. You and Inuyasha are simply impossible. He doesn't love you; he can never love you as you do. Its time you forget about him so you don't get out hurt… C'mon Kagome, grow some fucking balls girl!

"I can't function without you."

And his tone was declarative; he wasn't asking anything at all. Almost whiny, it was much more of a complain, as if it was torturing from him from the inside out.

She shook her head furiously, swallowing down the lump in her chest frenetically, trying to avoid the tears which had started to prickle her orbs.

"You can't just show up, and say that I… I…I" a sob wracked her body. She tried to contain it with a shaky hand. Funny…in her mind things seemed to be much more in order than what her body reflected… she was crying? Shaking? "How can you say that now…?After seven years… I… You can't just drop that and make everything fall apart!"

"What do you want from me Kagome?" his voice on edge made her snap and she turned briskly, eyes aflame smashing on his gaze as she looked fiercely at him.

"You jackass! I am in love with you since I was 15 and right when I find you on top of that bitch you decide you feel something more for me?" Her voice escalated, as her hair landed on her red cheeks, her lips were discolored as always. Her fury escalated and she fisted her hands tensely "Right when I decide that I want to let go of you. You know what? I don't want a freaking thing from you. I want you to go f- hmmph!"

A kiss, long awaited, made her brain erupt, convulse as much as her chest. She blanked completely, all she could think was that Inuyasha's lips. Lips that she had always dreamed of covering hers, muffling her internal tantrum. His lips moved skillfully over hers, tentatively and hesitantly hers opened a whole new world. This was something that not even as friends they had experienced. Gods but he was delicious, his lips moved now more frenetically over hers, one of his hands pushed her by the small of her back to his body, warm, inviting and exciting; the other buried itself in her hair scratching her scalp lightly, pleasuring her. Shivering she dug her long nails in his neck, leaving red welts on him. He moaned and she whimpered.

They lost themselves on each other until a flash of this same body worked on top of her older sister, on the bed where she, his best friend, had slept for seventeen years.

Then she pushed him back, a little dazed, as much as Inuyasha, who blinked a few times before he understood what she had done.

"Why are you avoiding this Kagome?"

She noticed with disapproval, especially for herself that in his tone there was that smoothness that characterized his flirting. What did he think? That'd bed her and toss her like all those other bitches? Yeah right.

Like a dead weight she fell in those amorous loveseats spread throughout the room.

With her elbows in her knees and her forehead in her hands she sighed. Maybe it was worthy to let him know. That way they could part ways in good terms… That kiss had been so awesome… his warmth was still flooding through her.

He observed her from his spot, on both feet, much higher than what she was now.

"There's nothing to avoid Inuyasha. I don't care about what you discovered of what you feel. I know what I feel since I was 15, and now I gave up. I don't wanna love you anymore; I don't wanna be near you anymore. I don't think I have ever been as disgusted as when I saw you with my sister."

Deep silence.

"You…You were…disgu-disgusted of me?" he choked on the words and she could understand that. Disgust was hurtful. In any other time before, knowing Inuyasha was starting to feel for her what she felt for him would been thrilling, exhilarating. Not anymore. She wanted to spare herself the pain she knew that would come, after what she had seen, he'd betrayed her as friend above all. And wasn't friendship the base for a relationship?

Looking defeated at him, she offered him a sad smile

"What can I say? I know it hurts but that was what I felt each time I saw you with a different girl. The difference was I was disgusted of them… stupid me huh?"

Silence hung again, and then his hands were on the sides of her face, his body bended to have his head harshly pressed against hers- and his demeanor was frantic.

"You don't understand. I was in your room, and I was thinking about what you meant to me, I-I" he started to choke on his words again, taking deep breaths of air, stumbling on himself. "I always had this thing about you, but I was a coward and I thought it was all platonic but then she entered, and you two are so similar… I- I pretended it was you."

That shocked her to her core. He fell to his knees and tried to look into her eyes. She avoided him.

"What?" her mumble echoed, shell shocked she tried to dislodge his hands.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry… Am I… Am I forgiven? Say I'm forgiven Kagome."

"You aren't guilty of anything"

"You said you love me, I hurt you, forgive me please."

She shrugged, sad eyes landing in his hoping golden suns.

"You were my best friend…" he said taking a deep breath, trying to calm down, one of his hands covering hers, trying to believe, to make them both believe. "As much as I wanted to touch you, to kiss you, I always put those thought aside because you'd never want to… because I didn't want to ruin everything, our friendship, because I didn't want to believe I could feel something like that for you…"

"C'mon Yash, not even you are that dense. How could you not see?"

"Maybe… I wasn't paying attention…maybe I didn't want to see. As long as we were only friends everything it would be ok. Please, just give me one chance. Out of everyone you always believed me… then believe me now…"

"Inuyasha…" her tone was dismissive, fugacious. Inuyasha gripped her hand strongly.

"Do you love me?" She could see hope bubbling in him. The question was a slap in the face and she gave it back without even thinking about it.

"Do you?"

What an odd question among ancient samurai armors and Buddhist scrolls. Slowly, very softly, he propelled his body weight on his feet and pushed one of his knees to between her legs, supporting his weight on that knee then which was on the loveseat cushion. His fingers gently, ever so gently grazed the skin of her face. His forearm resting on the back of the love seat she had to control the urge to slowly let her lids drop and savor unashamed the caress he bestowed her.

The constriction in her heart got tighter when she observed his caring, scorching golden eyes facing her sheer silver orbs.

"I don't want to have this conversation anymore." He knew better than anyone that she seldom stood face to face with challenge or danger – Kagome Higurashi ran for all she was worth. If for that she needed to be childish, she would be. She just needed him to put distance between them. Later, yes…later they could discuss this. Not now.

"Stop doing this! Look at me, look into my eyes and say you don't love me!"

She couldn't do it, and he knew it. If there was another thing she wasn't so good at, it was definitely lying.

"Inuyasha, it's all too sudden, I need to think" pushing a hand against his chest she effectively shoved him off of her, making him fall on the cushion next to hers, in the love seat. "I don't know how to deal with this…I"

"Then please promise me you won't avoid me anymore." He had leaned again over her, thankfully not overpowering her, she narrowed her eyes and took a deep breath. Fixing her long hair she swallowed the thickness in her throat damning all to hell for not being able to do anything for her core, but to rub her thighs. She got up.

"No promises, nothing" she reverberated softly, "I won't give you a thing." He swallowed hard and his long claws broke true the fabric of the love seat making four small indentations. Again Inuyasha chewed on his lips. His eyes downed and Kagome had the impression that he had misunderstood.

What right did he have to suffer? She had loved him for the past years with fervor and dedication and all she had gotten had been second plan. It hurt; it hurt horrors to see him flirting with everything that wore skirts and to brag about them, or the way he just dismissed her in benefice of all other things. His friends and popularity, girls…

In those seconds, in front of that loveseat, surrounded by ancient history she felt as of a torrent of ire fell upon her from the clouds, flooding her every vein. Fisting her hands with anger, her eyes melting to dark grey, bordering on black, Kagome Higurashi grew balls, stomped her foot on the wooden floors, hand on her waist and demanded, as his eyes returned, depressed, to hers:

"Look here, I waited for seven fucking years for you to notice me, I can assure you that it won't hurt that much to wait. Until then I need to be away from you. I'm still… I can't forget it. I can't make my resentments disappear just like that, just because you think you can show up here and kiss me and say a few words and everything is okay, I…"

Okay, so maybe her balls were shriveling and small and her voice was becoming fragile, as fragile as she felt? She wouldn't waver in her decision.

She fixed herself again, flattening her skirt against her legs and making sure her blouse was still in its place. Clearing her throat he made her voice diplomatic and asked him.

"Please, leave…" he seemed disproved of emotion as he looked at her with a depressed but empty expression.

But he was immobile.

Sighing she advanced to him and softly, caressed his jaw, tilting his face up she kissed him in the forehead, like she did when they were younger, and even now… one of her manicured hands caressed the tip of an ear, and she offered the only thing she could think of.

And albeit sad, Inuyasha would never stop thinking that her smile was the most beautiful thing in the world, as corny as it sounded and all.

"Yasha…" she moved away, he tried to catch her, not willing to lose that delirious scent and warmth just now… never. But she hadn't moved away yet, instead she kissed the tip of the opposite ear she had caressed.

He shivered from top to toe.

---

"And so, basically, you left Inuyasha there, like that?"

"No." she shook vehemently her brunette head, denying, twiddling her thumbs she muttered "I had already told him to go"

Her company coursed right to left, left to right in the apartment they shared once, but that was now only hers because the old lady that owned it had taken pity in her and reduced the rent if she made the grocery shopping for her and if she stayed alert for anything she might need at night.

"So that is why he won't even leave home" she shot her a narrowed glance, that Kagome ignored. "Miroku told me he hasn't left the garage in almost a week and that he started smoking again."

To that she furrowed. Stupid hanyou, they had stopped doing the nasty together, and now he had returned? So what if she didn't have the guts to mention to Sango that she hadn't been able to stop herself from buying a pack when she last went shopping for Fujiwaka-san?

Didn't mean she had smoked either. She hadn't, it was just…precaution.

"That's his problem" she muttered, averting eyes and focusing them on the magazines Sango had brought over – Zexy and such as that but also the thickest catalogue ever, with uchikakes and everything included for the traditional Japanese wedding.

She and Miroku hadn't decided yet.

They were moving on with their lives she thought, bitterly as she thought about her assignments for Communication Design, painting was all she wanted, she had craved it for so long that it had made her tougher on the inside it had created welts and bubbles, but she still bled for the brush. It was metaphysical, almost illogical for the non artist, but it was an urge, a deep uncontrollable lust she had to smear herself and the canvas with ink…

"Kagome?"

She is happy, and I'm happy for her. Her grey, once again clear eyes, returned to her friend's dark mahogany orbs; refocusing her attention on her.

"What are you going to do?"

Sadly she would admit.

"I don't know San… I just don't know… I want to stop suffering, but…" nervously and yet melancholic, she hoped Sango would understand without words. She hadn't been carved for words, she didn't really know how to say those things and…

"But its Inuyasha and you don't know how to not want him"

Eyes filling with tears she thanked, for all that was holy, because she knew the exact words.

"Yes!"

"Look" she sat next to her best friend, interrupting her anxious pacing to face her with complacent and soft eyes. "I'm marrying Miroku"

"Ugh…" Kagome blinked. Sango frowned- she could be so dense sometimes. No wonder she and Inuyasha were perfect for each other. " I kinda know…"

"No, idiot, you don't seem to realize. I'm marrying Miroku."

Stare.

"Oh…"

"Yes, Oh."

"No not that… It's just…" she bit her lips harshly, averting her eyes disturbed. "You don't understand… Miroku has always wanted you"

"Yes, but he never stopped flirting, and in the times we were apart he was with other women, as much as I was with other men, which you know that I was." Kagome nodded cautiously, narrowing her eyes slighter. Sango the Players Terminator was going to say to her that she should accept that damn mongrel back? "But I always took him back, because I love him , and vice-versa"

"Kagome, he loves you. You've been in love since you're 15. Isn't it better that he realized it now than never doing so?"

The painter closed her eyes and expired slowly.

"I don't know… I don't know how to think, what to think, I don't know how to react… I wish I had never met him"

"Don't say that. You know you're lying to yourself." Turning her body to Kagome, Sango observed her with her protective, caring eyes. "And if there is someone who doesn't deserve to be lied to, that's you, so don't"

The grey eyed woman could only take a deep breath and exhale slowly, controlled. Her hands shook and for the first time since she had bought them, she desperately wished for one of those damn cigarettes.

Instead she tried to refrain the urge by popping a digi-gum in her mouth and resuming her staring at Sango while she, in return, stared back at her with those unwavering big dark eyes.

"Look Sango, I can't control or eliminate my feelings. True. But I do have some self-control and if think that that's what's best for me, I'll stay away from Inuyasha" closing her hands in fists she nodded once to herself, averting Sango's eyes and looking through the bridal magazines, focused on her decisions. I'm sure I can do it.

Throwing her a sideways glance Sango didn't spare her anymore time quickly getting up and clearing her throat as she grabbed her purse and her magazines and catalogue.

"Hm. I think I'll go for the traditional… way more expensive, but I could do it in the Higurashi shrine… what do you think?"

"I think that you and Miroku would look beautiful, newly wedded, under Goshinboku. Mamma would love it too."

Her voice, reminiscing old times when she played endlessly under those thick roots under the shelter of Goshiboku's comforting branches, grew soft and sweet.

She smiled tenderly, imagining her young self of seven bouncing up and down near the tree, pigtails sustaining her already thick hair, her freckled spotting her face much more intensely. At twelve reminiscing the way her father laughed when he had died, holding the picture where he and momma smiled, under Goshinboku, and she was still inside her mother's safe dark womb. At sixteen, her head resting on her best friend's shoulder as he told her how much he missed Izayoi, as his clawed hand closed tightly around her smaller one, and his voice tightened too. She squeezed harder…

Damn it!

Inuyasha, always Inuyasha! Was she such a miserable sample of life that everything in it revolved around him?

No, no. she wasn't. She shouldn't think something like that when only one out of three memories was about him. He was her best friends, it was nothing but normal if she had a lot of good memories with him, about him…

"…going. Ok?"

She blinked as Sango watched her with that look, a small frown and an exasperated huff, the one that meant:

"You didn't listen to a thing, did you?"

Smiling sheepishly, she shook her head and asked her to repeat.

Struggling a little with the effort of keeping so many magazines and such a heavy catalogue under her arm she cleared her throat and said again.

"Well anyway, Miroku and I are celebrating our engagement dinner next Saturday, and I don't really care if you're avoiding Inuyasha, but there's no real way you can say you are not going. Ok?"

Head down and without really answering she nodded, perfectly aware that Sango was right and she couldn't skip the dinner that would take place in exactly six days. And there wasn't any way that he wouldn't be there either. She had to convince herself that even if she wasn't ready to speak with him, even if she would never be she'd have to coexist with him because both their best friends were marrying.

Marrying.

It rolled off of her mind's tongue. Inuyasha had always declared that to him, it would be the ultimate conviction.

She hadn't had an opinion about it before, but somehow it sounded in her ears like the sweet melody of being home when you haven't step foot on it in a really good time.

Nostalgic and warm.

Sango left and she spat the chewed gum, looking frantically for the pack of cigarettes.

---

Engagement dinner had been upon her too soon.

It was less than a day away and she had no clothes, no makeup, no shoes, no purse, and no will whatsoever to go.

But dear Kami she simply could not disappoint Sango.

She knew that her best friend had worked late today, so that she could have all of tomorrow to go the spa, and relax through the day, gaining forces and glow for the dinner.

She was currently smoking her 14th cigarette of the day, watching the now almost empty pack longingly, in the dark of her living room, eyes unfocusedly upon the TV that displayed an old 50's film noir, where girls were kissed by bad guys that weren't so bad after all and raised the foot in response as they hugged. Her foot bounced nervously in the little glass table in front of her where the ashtray showed a remarkable pile of butts roughly smashed against the metal of the ashtray.

Frowning she thought back to the moment when she had viciously affirmed to Sango that she would be able to keep her feelings controlled, and that she would be able to be away from Yasha if she thought it would be better.

"What are you, Higurashi?" Drag. "A complete and utter idiot?" Blow.

All those decision and affirmatives had fled out the window when he had called yesterday, in the wee hours of the day. It was still dawn, verging on light, but still dark. So dark.

Hey, it's me. But you know that already.

She had irreversibly snorted at that.

Kagome I can't stand this anymore. Don't do this to me. Look I'll even take back everything I said and it will all be like before, I'll forget everything you said, I…

In his small pause, she had frowned inevitably. Forget, huh?

"And how, pray tell, will I forget of the image of you, Inuyasha, fucking my sister, in the bed where I spent my teenage years dreaming of you?"

In the dead of the night and in the stagnation of her living room, the words came out with the vehemence that she had wanted to use yesterday.

Instead she muffled a sob against the back of her hand and tried to pretend that it was raining inside her house, that she wasn't crying because he was willing to take it back.

The first evidence that he felt more than friendship for her, and he was willing to take it back, for the friendship. A friendship that was doomed now that she had confessed her love.

She rubbed the bridge of her nose, also massaging her tired eyes, exhaling the smoke that she had trapped in her lungs.

Meanwhile she hadn't been able to refrain from going to his house, hiding behind one of the leafy palm tree that grew like fungi in the area where he lived. Inuyasha enjoyed, as much as she did the luxurious apartment buildings in Tokyo. The difference was, he could buy them and she, couldn't.

She thought back to the time they he went to Todai to take his degree in Political Sciences and remembered the surprise in his Class mates eyes – mostly radicals and political affiliates- at seeing the younger brother of CEO and ex Lord Sesshomaru Taisho, entering the class and sitting without sparing a glance.

So he had the Academic career.

But she had never wanted anything of academics. All she still wanted was to paint.

Smashing the butt against the metal of the astray again she took of her men shirt. With a squeeze in her heart she realized it had been Inuyasha's, and that he had left it at Miroku, and that she had stolen it.

Divested of clothes but for her knickers she grabbed a rag from her kitchen and rolled it around her hair, entering what had been Sango's room. Now it was naked and white. White sheets covered the floor and walls, splattered with drops of paint.

She turned on the lights and gulped soundly leaning her head to the right to admire the beauty of the spectrum of possibilities a white canvas offered.

Tomorrow.

The long and thick, safe branches of Goshinboku rose from an ocean of fire to end in a circle of crystalline water. Two dark figures held each other as they waited for the uncanny storm to pass.

A Sakura petal fell.

The sheet that covered the floor was dirtied, as was her whole body. She felt cleansed on the inside.

---

IT was six o' clock and she had to be Shibuya ward at seven thirty sharp, not mention, dressed, wearing shoes and looking impeccable as host and bride's best friend.

And she still wasn't.

Klutzily reaching for the forest green velvet dress on her bed she dressed it but realized she couldn't really close the zipper on the back, while still trying to keep the towel, in her head around her hair, and already defying balance with a foot in the air while the other hand tried to put it around the annoying limb. When she finally was able to put the shoe Kagome walked, limping because of the high heel while one foot was still bare, to the vanity to spread some dark lipstick on her lips, and try to apply mascara without losing an eye, all finished she sighed in relief, slipping the other shoe and rubbing her wet strands with the towel restraining them when the doorbell rang.

The grey eyed woman frowned, but then her cell phone rang too, and the door bell again…

"Arrgh!"

Grabbing the device quickly, she ran to the door while answering the little machine in her hand.

"Hey San, I'm almost ready, no stressing!"

"Kagome, wait… there's something you need to know!"

"Look Sang, we'll talk later ok? There's someone at the fucking door who won't stop ringing!"

Saying the words purposefully louder and frowning to intimidate the intruder she heard Sango screaming "no" and some other blabbers but she quickly said bye and promised they'd talk later, ignoring her best friend's fuss.

Pulling the door widely open and discarding the danger in doing so for a stranger evaded her.

Color also evaded her when she saw who was waiting on the other side.

Leaning against the doorframe in black dress slacks and a deep burgundy shirt, his hair braided like she hadn't seen it in a while, Inuyasha threw her one of those looks that often threw her of any little guard she had in what Inuyasha was the matter, made her shiver hotly and dried her throat.

"What are you doing here?" her voice came out in a whisper. She knew it. She knew she would never be able to use that tone she used yesterday in her couch, alone, in the dark.

"I came to get you." Shrugging slightly he then redirected his attentions to her, the very short loose dress… why was it so loose? Before he could even think about it, his eyes had already fallen to her long shapely legs and the way the heels emphasized them.

"To get me."

Kagome felt like and idiot repeating his words, but then he shrugged again and entered.

"Sure, Miroku ordered me to, knew you would be late." Throwing a look at the hand closed around her phone as he fell on her couch, a sardonic smile spread his sensual lips, showing such naughty fangs.

"I bet Sango tried to warn you"

"Yeah…" she repeated in her mind his words, and then with her mouth, dumbfounded "I bet she did"

"Miroku was kinda right" he alluded; eying her intensely "You still aren't ready" he got up, and got to close. She stepped backwards, frowning.

"You're trying to seduce me" it wasn't an inflamed stating. Just a stating. He was an idiot if he thought she would succumb to his sweet words and God like looks.

He faced her with fury snaking around in his golden eyes, and she felt more attracted to her than when he used that low, sultry tone.

"Just hurry, wench" His snappy tone, made her entrails coil, and for a second, just a second she wanted to play too, to give back and the old insult fueled the urge.

Then she remembered that this was Inuyasha. And he would break her in two, no doubt, like he had done before.

"Idiot" she muttered as she turned around back to her room where she could comb her hair and ...

And it was too late.

She felt him before any other thing, but he was already there. Always fucking playing with her.

And she had the masochistic urge, once again to let him play, because it was so erotic and good.

She had forgotten the zipper. The zipper on the back of the dress that started under the neck and ended just half an inch after the deep purple lace of her knickers. No bra.

He exhaled loudly, the breath fanning on her long wavy wet dark hair. Then he got closer, and she could feel his warm invading her bubble, one of his hands covered the curve of her right hip, as the other pushed her dark unruly tresses aside, watching her lightly freckled back tense.

Not for the first time she closed her eyes and tried to calm the whirlwind in her guts that she knew he could feel, trying to control the wetness of her core, waiting desperately for a touch – that didn't come.

Instead she felt the velvet close around her back, ever so slowly, like a caress of fingers made of warm breeze, the sound of the zipper being drawn up making her shiver, filling the whole house. When the dress was closed, Inuyasha slid his index and middle finger along her neck, shoulder, collar bone, throat, and chin. She swallowed audibly. He turned her rosy face to him; his lids dropped as he sensuously eyed her.

"I missed you"

"Inuyasha…"

"You haven't answered any of my calls."

"We're going to be late." She was panicking, that Kagome would admit. She was afraid that if he came closer, just a little closer, and she would melt from the heat that she felt in her bones, bubbling and stinging.

He seemed to recognize her tone of voice for what it was, despair, fright. But he also seemed to suspect about her motives.

"I'm not going to back down so easily Kagome. You owe me at least an answer."

She gulped and faced him as bravely as she could.

"I'll have to be sure of what I want, when I answer you"

"Tonight."

"No!"

He looked at her with that same vacant eyes and tensed his jaw walking behind her as she entered the bedroom again, grabbing the brush furiously from the vanity.

"Why do you have to think it through? You yourself said you have loved me for the longest time. I want it. I want it like I have never wanted anything before." His voice was harsh and low, she ignored him sitting in the chair in front of the vanity, almost ripping her glorious raven mane, as she combed. He ignored that she ignored.

"So what? If you really wanted it than you should have manned up and tell me then, instead of fucking Kikyo in my bed. I had decided I should forget what I feel for you before, Inuyasha. And just because, suddenly, you wanted something you hadn't even noticed before, you had to ruin it for me."

E averted his eyes and snorted.

"Is it not my right to fight for what I want?"

"You can fight, but you can't impose!" immediately snapping and turning to him she almost broke through her ferocious reaction when she realized of his proximity, like a dangerous predator he often moved and got closer and she couldn't notice before being too late.

"Fine, don't give me an answer. But at least believe when I tell you that I always felt like these for you. I just didn't want to ruin our friendship"

Calmer, she eyed him with a resigned grief shining in her clear silver orbs.

"It's ruined already. It can never be what it was before"

His eyes shone and he opened his lips slightly,

"Then let it be what it is meant to be"

A sigh came from within her chest; she cupped his face and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"Don't." he pleaded. And it wasn't all that often that she got to see Inuyasha with that soft expression, masochistically she wanted him to hurt further and to look like this all the time, vulnerable. That way they could stand on the same level, instead of the domination he exerted over her. "The last time you kissed me, it was the most hurtful thing you ever did to me"

Remembering the whole incident in the Library and how she had left him there after she kissed his ear, and all the previous actions, her face reddened, but her inside regained the coolness, and she cleared her throat, circling the chair to avoid him.

"We should probably go"

"Yeah…" Inuyasha was, reluctant, it seemed to see her once again escape from his demands, but he knew that if he pushed her it would probably not end for the best. Leaving her room behind her, he watched the way her good smelling tresses bounced off her shoulders or the way her legs flexed to give her that determinate walk, with his blood boiling.

Grabbing a dark long coat from the chair next to the door, she also reached for the empty purse she had left on the entry before, knowing she had to fill it.

A click and a familiar smell told her that Inuyasha had lit a cigarette, and in did he had, dragging nervously, the other hand jammed in the pocket as he walked back and fro.

"Hurry it up"

He was twitching and she could see he was nervous as she observed him, jamming her keys and cell phone and cigarettes on her little pulse, crushing them down to have space to cram her wallet in there.

She cursed her building for having such a small hallway where she had to walk right beyond him, body shivering even under the dark thick coat that grazed her shoes.

Then she cursed the building again for having such a small little elevator, where they had to stand body to chest, or maybe back to back. They had ended face to face, each averting the others eyes.

Then she cursed his damned money because she couldn't understand what was it with him and his cars that made her shiver hotly when she saw them. Thick lined but aerodynamic BMW's that combined with his strength and sheer sensuality.

At least that wasn't crammed.

And then she cursed Sango and Miroku because the restaurant – an avant-garde new house that served exotic nouvelle cousine – was still empty but for the four of them and few persons, at least that was what she could see from the walls made of glass.

They were still in the car. And for some reason she wasn't thinking in getting out and escape from him, running to Sango or hiding in the role of hostess, trying to dismiss him, his feelings and hers.

Instead she stayed there, both of them stayed quiet almost overwhelmed by the neon lights of Shibuya, Inuyasha hadn't spared her a glance since they had left her house and something grotesque had lodged deep in her stomach, as tried to understand why he kept such a conflicted expression, while his acts revealed, in true, nothing at all.

Now that the resistance was gone of her body with his silence, she didn't seem to be able to push that damned thickness in her throat down, or rejoice in the act of wetting her lips, because her mouth was dry, she also couldn't stop shaking and was jumpy. Her heart thundered in her ears, and she imagined that the rush of blood covering her cheeks and bosom had also influence on the way she felt her entrails coil, at him being so near.

Its Inuyasha and you don't know how to not want him

She had the ridiculous presentiment that that, in her mind, right now, was her conscience using Sango's voice.

She also missed the way his muscles tensed and his jaw squared when she bit her bottom lip and gulped.

Snap.

"Why the fuck are you so tense?" his voice wasn't loud but a harsh whisper, which was surprising, as for his vocabulary it was as rude as ever, and she didn't mind a bit. "I didn't do a thing, the doors are unlocked, and you can get out if you want to."

"I know" she reassured quickly, throwing her focus at him, landing in his deep molten amber eyes with her cold stone grey ones.

"Then don't fucking act like I'm gonna do you any harm."

Silence.

"I can't"

Widening her eyes she shut her mouth tersely as she replayed the words that she had blurted without a thought.

He, slightly perturbed, raised an perfect, dark eyebrow and sniffed lightly.

"What?"

"I can't get out of the car."

Her voice had downed considerably and he frowned immediately, both with his eyebrows and with his mouth, slightly turned downwards.

"What do you mean you can't get out of the car? They are unlocked I told you"

"I…" her throat blocked and she tried to reach him any other way. Her long white hands sought his. Now that she knew he was willing, he was all the more desirable… she wanted to kiss him again and feel those arms around her. In the dark his eyes had softened with half-understanding but with reluctance also. Something she didn't understand but was eager to destroy.

And then the damn car door open, and she was absolutely sure the damn thing was unlocked when she found Ayame's smiley face inviting them to come inside, that it was cold out there.

Outside, she heard him sulking to himself,

"Cold, huh?"

She sighed,

Yeah Yasha, I didn't feel it either.

---

Watching the guests chat cheerfully she tried to feel happy too. Sango threw her those pitying eyes and she felt like killing her, when she knew she had ordered that bimbo Ayame to come fetch Inuyasha and her.

Besides, the bitch was fawning all over him, speaking gibbering too close, too lively and smiling too much. And, although she knew it was just to piss her off because the female wolf youkai had this thing with her because of Koga's tendencies towards her, it still really pissed her off, having that skimpy clothed Ayame all over her m-… Inuyasha.

She had seen Koga in the beginning of the party too, and knowing that he didn't give a damn about the little wolf heiress, she sighed again in distress knowing no one but Koga could order her around.

He was a nice guy, Koga, she thought as she found him in the crowd laughing pleasurably with some colleague from the Advocacy Firm Miroku co-owned. With Inuyasha.

Ugh.

Shivering her turned away the vanilla ice cream and looked for Sango. She needed someone to talk too and no one else in this party would do.

They were all too fucking happy and although Sango was the happiest, she was the only able to reject her happiness for two seconds if she needed so.

Well, not the only. Usually Inuyasha would do the same, but he wasn't the right vessel for this talk… and Miroku, well the bastard would never lose his beneficence, but he would never get mad with her at something. He usually just asked her to take it easy and calm down. Just like he did with Inuyasha. Most of the times the technique was in vain.

Walking aimlessly among the big crowd, she tried to fain the pearl of Sango's dress, snatching a flute full of champagne and downing it at once. It was weak and bubbly, but it still warmed her a little. Finding Sango's pearl dress near the bar, on the opposite extreme of the table she sat, doing what seemed to be a severe scolding to, of course, her baby brother Kohaku. Kohaku who was obviously not such a baby anymore and was currently, along with her own baby brother, Souta, trying all kinds of alcoholic combinations.

Closing her eyes in repressed fury she reached the scene and bumped Souta's head hard which knocked on the counter followed by a muffled laughter from Sango, a full blown laugh by Kohaku and painful moan from a drooling Souta. Throwing him a furious look, as she did to Kohaku she drank both their drinks and blinked harshly, widening her nostrils and biting her lips to repress the shudder and the internal heat that assaulted her.

These drinks were harsher and she recognized the absinth in there, somewhere.

"Can I talk to you?" her whisper immediately drew Sango's attentions and as she said good bye to the boys with a warning of,

"Don't you dare drinking anything else from this bar, not even water. And remember," dangerous look "I'll know"

And followed her outside of the saloon to a more calm space in the entry of the restaurant in itself.

"Kagome, are you ok?"

"No…" sitting tightly in a old chair on the lobby, her body stiffened and leaning her elbows on her knees she locked her head in her two hands, and she had to control de immediate urge to cry."No, I'm not ok at all San."

Gently walking to her best friend and caressing her long dark dresses of raven hair, Sango smiled and kindly flexed her knees to be at her eye level.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything's fucking wrong! Don't you see it? I got to leave here, I can't be around Inuyasha, if it wasn't for that damned Ayame I'd have fallen in the car. And now they are talking all happiness and cheeriness, and me Sango, look at me. I'm a mess. I'm always a mess because of him"

"Kagome…" Sango's voice had defeat to it, it was saddened, it had years of watching the closest person to her suffer adding to her now dark expressions

"No, I can't do this. I can't do it Sango I'm sorry."

"Please Kagome, please. It's a very important day in my life. Please, stay."

Taken aback by the way Sango pleaded, although she was already hazed by the alcohol, Kagome decided to acquiesce. They were sisters in the spirit, if not by blood, and she loved her. Caressing the face of the bride to be with a sad smile, she waited for the equal retribution and nodded slowly.

"Why'd you have to invite that damned Ayame anyways?"

A snort was emitted.

"Entirely Miroku's fault."

As they reentered the saloon she shivered with the golden gaze that crossed the room through crowd, tables and chairs to find her person. He was still in the same place, besides him, Ayame still chirped vigorously at his sensitive ears. Ger stomach coiled again, the knot in her throat made breathing impossibly harder and her body went numb, as she watched that penetrating gaze from across the large room, following her every step.

Walking slowly so that she wouldn't lose her balance in a chair or in someone she managed to reach the bar and avoid that overpowering glare, asking an overpowering drink instead.

"Scotch, double, no ice"

The glass somewhat came to her hands, then she remembered it was open bar and she asked another and another. Her pack of cigarettes was emptier every time she looked at it. Her hands were shaking; she felt the need to sob, but compensated asking for another double.

Her vision got fogged, she didn't see all that well with no glasses, but the sustained tears and the alcohol made it worse, her throat was thick and obstructed again, she numbness had seeped in and now seemed to most important characteristic of her state, as if she was drunk every single day. She grabbed tightly, as much as she could with sweaty hands, to the counter.

Why was there a hole in her stomach?

Her lids dropped once, twice.

Sango came and informed her summarily that it was midnight and that Miroku would make a break in a while to take her home. She didn't really want to go with him because, although she knew he would never willingly risk her safety, in party scenarios, Miroku was usually The Drinker. And he should be pretty drunk by now.

The last hour or so that she had been there, her grey fogged eyes had stayed in the amber of scotch that reminded her so much of one other amber that she didn't feel like facing, and she never once looked back. She knew she had promised Sango that she'd stay. And she was staying, right? She just didn't feel capable of facing him, facing that glare, facing herself, reflected in there.

The fact that it was an engagement party made her stomach coil. She was really, really, young, but she had been through enough, father's death, mother's acute depression, taking care of Sota alone, the money problems. It seemed like she had already lived the double of her years… But, Sango was her age, and she had to face some though shit to, and nonetheless, Providence had been kinder with her. It had given her requited love, a man that, although a pervert, loved her more than anything and was a well of wisdom. And handsome, which Miroku also was.

It wasn't that she wasn't happy for Sango, she was – of course she was. She loved her.

It was just that she had to wonder why it couldn't be like this for her too.

Love did strange things to a person, she ironically thought, as she downed the contents of the glass of scotch and asked for another. She didn't know why she felt so miserable. Maybe because she had spent months, even years, convincing herself to definitively get away from the pain that Inuyasha caused, the fact that being away brought as much pain as it did the way he did not correspond to her, or the way she desired to succumb to him, that set her body on fire, every time she saw him.

But she felt like shit right now, and the booze, not helping, was making her feel a little better, and she thanked it for that. She reached for a cigarette but she had finally finished them. Looking to the side she frantically looked for someone who could give her one, ignoring all the while that most of the clients had gone away, when she started smoking.

Nervously tapping her fingernails on the ivory counter she swallowed another double and was about asking again, when Sango showed up.

"Kagome… you drank a little too much already"

She didn't answer because she didn't trust her tongue. It was numb and thick and she didn't want to use it. She just traced the lip of the empty glass with a shaking forefinger.

"C'mon, we should get going. It's a quarter past two already. Everyone said goodbye." Kagome noticed almost mirthfully that Sango's voice was also a bit slurred.

She remembered again, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath that she really wanted to be alone. And that she really didn't trust Miroku to drive, or to contain his excitement with Sango around. Shaking her head and exerting some of that damned courage everyone always said she had, she forced out,

"I'll take a cab"

"But Miroku and I can give you a lift–"

"Cab"

Getting down from the high bench she had been perched on all night, she grabbed on to Sango with one hand and to her purse with the other. She nearly fainted with being vertical again, the dizziness made her insides swirl, and she almost fell.

Grabbing on to Sango she slowly got out of the restaurant and faintly waved at Miroku, who wore one of his lazy grins and waved back in retribution, but immediately found Sango's form and focused solely on her, his eyes darkening.

When they got into the car and drove off, she tried to find the yellow of a cab but she couldn't see right, losing her balance she tripped on her own feet, and if not for the wall she would have fallen. Grabbing on to the gritty surface she tried to find somewhere where she could stay, stop, think, rest. On the corner of the building there was an alley between the restaurant and a bakery and she sighed with relief, trying to stay vertical again.

This time there was no Sango or wall that saved her and she fell, knees down on the harsh asphalt ground, she sustained the urge to cry again, but then thought again. What good did it do to stop?

No one could see her here. Fat drops of crystalline salty water made her bloodied and sore scraped knees ache but she didn't mind. The night, which she had always considered a space of creation and of liberation was suddenly oppressing. She was afraid that someone tried to hurt her. She was afraid that someone found her here. She was afraid of having Inuyasha. She was afraid of losing him forever. She was afraid of never achieve realization as an artist. She was afraid she would disappoint mother.

And most of all she was afraid of choosing.

The night pressed hard on her, and she felt the stars on her skin like pinpricks.

The next thing she saw was those golden eyes. And, not thinking straight, she asked herself if the sun was rising during the night.

Then she understood.

"Inuyasha" she offered him a distorted teary smile."I fell"

Strong arms enveloped her and pushed her up, totally supported by him and his warm delectable hard body. His braid was gone and spun silver spread around them.

"I got you" strong clawed fingers pulled a strand from her face and tucked in neatly behind her ear. His tone was gentle, and yet harsh, as if she was going to be admonished later "C'mon lets go"

"Inu…" a woman's voice broke the silence and she felt his body grow taut, wincing. She turned around, in the direction of the street and saw a woman, slightly buzzed too, a sexy smile on her deep red lips, her dark hair cropped short and ruffled. She realized that with the darkness in the alley, the woman – Yura, some of Miroku guest's girlfriend that had been presented to her early in the event – couldn't see her, just Inuyasha. Just Inuyasha.

Inuyasha.

"Could you give me a lift? My car doesn't want to start…"

Kagome repressed the whimper at the sight of her halfway unbuttoned cashmere cardigan, they way her bosom came up and down quickly and was tinged with red. She had obviously seen him and ran to catch him.

He was still tense around her, and she just knew he wouldn't let her leave. She didn't have the strength to try anyways, and she wished she could just faint and not have to see the sensual older woman waiting for Inuyasha to go with her and warm his bed.

Inuyasha went to answer, visibly a little constrained, embarrassed. Understanding, and knowing she wanted to be home, as soon as possible, Kagome gathered her wits the best she could, and took action. The drunken brunette hiked her dress with a hand so that it barely covered her crotch and then pulling Inuyasha's calloused warm hand to her hip and snaking her hands around his neck, she leaned on to Yura's direction.

"I'm sorry dear; your lift has to wait for some other time" Feeling Inuyasha relax slightly but still awestruck with her bold move she held firmly onto him before she fell, and dug her nails on the nape of his neck. Drawing him closer "Maybe you should call… Bankotsu, wasn't it?"

Eyes and nostrils widened, the woman squeaked in ire and quickly turned around pissed off. As soon as she was gone from sight she immediately let go of Inuyasha and slapping his hand from her body, pulled the dress down.

Then she tried to speak, but her body was again loosing the vertical and she was then, horizontal on Inuyasha's arms. Looking up at him she thought to himself that this beautiful man couldn't be guilty if women found him delectable and wanted him desperately.

She did.

Peaceful. She slept.

---

Her whole body ached, there was pain everywhere but especially in her knees, her throat was sore, raspy, her lips were chapped and hurt when she opened her mouth. Her mouth had disgusting feeling on to it, sticky and bitter. Her brain felt like a jackhammer was pounding on to it, and she couldn't even open her eyes because of tired she was.

And yet she felt oddly comfortable, her body recognizing the outer environment of what was, she was almost sure- her room. The light came to her as it did every morning, from the same side, with the same half covered by the curtain, half drawn. There was her soft puffy pillow under her head and her thick comforter around her naked body.

Blink.

Finally opening her eyes she traced her belly with her hand, still not looking down, shell-shocked. Feeling her bare skin se blinked again. The events of last night were a bit blurry, but she had always known how to drink and she could remember most of things… except how she had gotten home, after Inuyasha took her in his strong arms.

Oh man, had he undressed her? She'd kill him!

Languidly she looked down, raising the comforter to see her panties only covered body. And gulped. She was sure that if something had happened she would remember. Right? And Inuyasha wouldn't do a thing, right?

Gulping, she tried to open her eyes and fight against the scorching light. Then came the part of getting up, and she immediately took a hand to her head when her upper body left the mattress. Damn! Damn, it hurt!

She went as fast as she could to the bathroom without tripping or falling due to her headache wich, wasn't all that fast. But when she found herself under the warm water of the shower and with a toothbrush on her mouth she recognized that it was worth the effort. Spitting the remaining mint flavored tooth paste from her mouth and embracing the soothing feeling of washing her long dark hair she sighed forlornly.

Inuyasha had left her here last night, concerned with her, after seeing in such a miserable state last night. Another sigh followed the first one. She thought back to the day in the library when he had said those things, when he had kissed her so desperately, closing her eyes she almost saw his expression when she spoke about the disgust she felt, and it twisted her heart. He had made a mistake by sleeping with Kikyo. A mistake. He himself had said it, how sordid it may sound, that he was thinking of her while doing with her sister. And she loved him, she loved him with such conviction and dedication that she knew she would do anything for him. She had never wanted anyone else, she had never dreamed about anyone else. In a way she thought it was miserable to have her whole life spinning around him. But if he requited her feelings…

Warmth grew inside her tugging on her heartstrings, and she felt tears blooming from her grey eyes, that were quickly engulfed by the spray of water from the shower nozzle.

Maybe, just maybe, she could have what she had always wanted; maybe it was time to finally have the courage to be happy. Maybe it was time to face what she wanted and stop being afraid anymore.

Filled with joy with her epiphany, Kagome grinned when she left the warm water to roll herself in a small fluffy towel and exit the bathroom. Her dripping long hair rolled on the top of her head. She was going to call him and ask him to come over, then they could talk, they could.

Splash!

The cold water hit her like a slap and she gasped audibly. She was going to question where it had come from before opening her eyes and not having to question anymore.

In front of her stood Inuyasha with a wife beater and boxers only, his bed hair making him sexier than she had ever seen him, his ears twitched cutely on top of his hair, and then flattened just an inch. In his hand was an empty glass of water and in the other, two aspirins.

He was still here? The shiver that coursed her had nothing to do with cold water.

"Inuyasha…"

He seemed oddly sheepish and distant, looking at her and then at wall next to him. Then he stretched his hands and gave her the empty glass and the aspirins.

"How are you feeling?" his voice was low and seductive, even though she bet he wasn't doing on purpose this time, now he looked down to his feet.

"I'm fine, actually. My head just hurts a little."

"You can fill the glass in there" he pushed the things he had been carrying into her hands and nodded to the bathroom. "I'll go heat up some ramen…"

Frowning deeply, she wondered why he was acting strangely. Then she processed his words when he was already turning around and scolded

"Inuyasha, I do not eat ramen as breakfast!"

"Breakfast huh?" he threw her a little smile over the shoulder and then started walking to the kitchen. "Kagome, it's almost one o'clock, we're having ramen for lunch, and that's that."

She blinked rapidly and somersaulted into the bathroom, quickly putting the aspirins under her tongue and filling the cup with water wish she drank too fast and almost choked on.

Running to the her room she jumped on some puce colored lacey knickers and a large deep blue T shirt that reached the middle of her thighs, a thick robe and ran again to the kitchen, where she found Inuyasha, who blinked and gulped looking at her, then immediately hissed when the boiling water missed its target and landed on his hand.

Quickly grabbing his hand, when she reached him, and although knowing he'd be okay with his fast healing, she gently held it under the tap as the water gingerly caressed the redness left by its boiling brother,

"You should be careful."

"I could say the same thing to you." Furrowing her slim eyebrows she turned her face to his trying to understand his statement. Her whole expression was closed and angered, looking at her. He saw her questioning eyes and answered before the question was formulated.

"What did you think you were doing yesterday, getting wasted like that?

"Don't start with me Inuyasha. How many times have you stuffed your face in front of me? I didn't even ask you to help me, you could have just gone away with –"

Inverting immediately the position of her hands, Inuyasha's hand was quickly tightly on her wrist pulling her closer, his eyes seething with fury.

"It's different!" she started at him, taken aback. Inuyasha was volatile, and he always erupted quickly, but he was genuinely burning with fury now, his eyes darkening dangerously, as his claws pinched her delicate skin, and she swallowed the gasp, biting on her lip, as another hiss followed. "What should've I done? Leave you there for some sicko to take advantage of you, you couldn't even stand stupid!"

"So I drank a little too much" she murmured, after the pause it followed his speech. "It's over now, everything's ok"

"But everything could have been disastrous, can't you understand?" he tugged her harshly at him.

Bitterly, Kagome looked up and smiled.

"What? If Yura had come sooner? I should know you wouldn't be able to keep it in your pants" her caustic remark, however, didn't seem funny to him. Not at all.

"You're a real bitch when you want to, you know that?"

Ignoring him, and really not available to fight right now since her head was pounding and her stomach was all queasy with the lack of food, she finished the job he'd been doing early and stretched her hand, pointing at the table, signaling him to follow her. Sitting quietly and grabbing his cup of ramen, they both stirred the contents with the hashi.

"It smelled like paint before, when I came to get you yesterday." As he spoke she tried to focus elsewhere that weren't his lips. She wondered if he had taken the bath, it wasn't impossible seeing the house had one more bathroom. Maybe it had even happened because, she noticed, his ears were moving a lot, and he usually did that when they had gotten some water into it. How ridiculous it was, she thought to herself, that she knew all these little things about Inuyasha.

"Were you painting?"

"Yeah…"

Remembering the painting she had left in Sango's old room, she gained a lost expression, the voluptuous fire evolving the cruel water, the world united over the thick roots of Goshinboku.

"What? What did you paint?"

She shook her head very softly, denying him the information, an absent smile, somewhat sad, pulling at her lips. She didn't vocally answer.

They ate in silence for a while.

Inuyasha finished his cup of ramen much faster than her, but made no motion to get up and leave; he didn't even stop holding the hashi. She knew, because she could feel it, that his penetrating gaze didn't leave her, that he was intently looking at her. She kept eating, starving as she was she could do no other thing, really.

"Do you remember that Tanabata festival, three years ago?" his voice was dark again, like she hadn't heard in some time.

She snorted on the laugh.

"Sure. I remember some funny stuff from back there." Nodding, her grey eyes finally rose to his serious dark amber eyes.

"That was also when Miroku and Sango admitted their feelings for one another."

Inuyasha nodded and got up from his chair, walking slowly to the window, hiding his visage from her. He looked more sober than usual. Inuyasha's strong arms crossed and he cleared his throat. She waited, elbows on the table and hands supporting her chin, to see the effect of his words. Words, vocalized letter that in a foreign country made no sense at all, no matter how powerful they were. She decided then, that she would never be commanded by words again.

"I realized then, what I felt for you was stronger than a man enjoying a woman's body."

Furrowing her eyebrows she blinked twice and remembered,

"I was afraid to see you."

"Why?" her reaction was very sudden, the palms of her hands slapped against the table harshly and pain erupted in them to biting through the forearms to the elbow junction. "What did you understand that night, what, huh, Inuyasha?" her voice was not shrill as he would've expected but roughed, hoarse.

He shook his head in disbelief when he saw the flames in her eyes, looking at her. "Why are you so angry? Can't you understand? You were like a little sister to me, then I started having all this crazy thoughts about you, I… I felt such a pervert…" Upon her cold eyes, he sighed harshly and turned around again, leaving on the window frame, watching the lights of the city, the cars, the horns, the rushing people wash over his nervousness, and continued:

"Then on that day, seeing Miroku and Sango finally getting together, and seeing you so happy for them made something surface, that until then had been unknown to me"

"Yeah, you kept telling that as if it was something big, but you still haven't told me, what the hell did you discovered?"

"Don't you remember what I told you in the library?"

He walked slowly to her again, on the opposite side of the table he looked forlornly at her and when she looked at him with such anger reflected in her eyes, it weighted on him, and he suddenly felt tired and drained, as if making Kagome understand his motives was the hardest thing he'd ever done – and maybe it was.

"I can't function without you"

"That's not enough" Kagome shook her head, speaking more to herself than to him, her small, talented hands closing harshly over the wooden surface of her small kitchen table. Her cheeks glistened with tears. "No words are enough when you ruined my decision." Grey eyes met amber and she contoured the table. Her small figure next to Inuyasha's almos 6ft didn't, in any way, express their relationship. She could stand up to him, anytime, anywhere.

A manly, thick hand entered her space and stretched to her. Lightly, three fingers touched her skin, just barely touching, one of the claws prickled her bottom lip slightly and she shuddered heavily. "I wanted to have a life outside you Inuyasha. But you keep pinning me to you, you idiot" her sad voice, she noticed, made his eyes narrow, and he cleared his throat immediately, averting his eyes, clearly affected by her statement.

Just not the right way.

"That's exactly what I'm trying to say." Descending with golden orbs upon her again, his thick hands clung to her upper arms and he leaned slightly to her, their noses inches from touching. "I'm releasing from everything I've said so far. I understand that you had a decision and I won't pressure you anymore to want this…I-"

"You're a real jerk, you know that?"

"What? Don't you understand? I just need you to stay by my side, Kagome."

"In that night, on that Tanabata, I wrote in my wish, that I wished to stay with you forever, Inuyasha"

Silence ensued, and Inuyasha caught her face in his strong, big hand.

"Then forget what I said if it hurts you so much, Just be Kagom-"

"Shh"

Her lips smothered his and her arms straightened him against her warm body. He couldn't help himself, in her arms she held the man she loved, and he could comprehend it, because in his arms, that soon, circled her, he held the most important woman of his life.

It was mystic almos, how it seemed to be night inside her apartment.

Because nothing but darkness evolved them, lulled them, as the only light both soon saw, were themselves, tangled in each other limbs as mouth explored mouth , and fingers explored the turgid flesh of a breast, of his sex, pulsing, throbbing in anticipation, the fabric barrier was forgotten as her body was smashed against the wall that sided the kitchen counter, her legs locked around his waist, she anchored her body in his and sighed erotically as his lips left hers to explore the depths of her neck that was, in itself, an ocean of hedonistic pleasure.

Looking for the hem of his wife beater she ripped it over his head and nuzzled those sweet appendages that were flattened and tense, just like the rest of his body.

He must have been moved by her action, because Kagome found no other way to explain the brightness in his eyes or the way he held her to him, impossibly tighter, searching for her mouth again, walking in the night of the day for the way to the bedroom that he knew so well. We will never know if it was the experience of the desperation to get there that made him find the path so easily. Now, sprawled in her bed, well kissed and panting, Kagome could feel her heartstrings pulling significantly at the sight of him, as he contemplated her, also.

"Words are never enough" she whispered to herself, maybe to answer to his previous words, maybe to describe the vision of her lover, maybe to describe to herself how enormous and tremendous was the feeling that made her strong red heart palpitate harshly against the cage of her ribs. Inuyasha heard, but he didn't comment, he merely planted his elbows to the sides of her head and, without touching her, laid his body over hers, the space between too bodies confining so much.

She entered in a Dionysian trance, commending her body and spirit in his hands, his large calloused hands which did not belong to a politician, nor to a prince, but to a man who had had to prove himself through the whole course of the very short time of Life.

She wanted to say something, in truth, she did. But now she had the confirmation of her own statement. Because there simply hadn't been invented the words that could describe the fire burning her insides, or the thundering of her heart, the knot in her throat, the tears in her eyes, the craving in her soul.

When he was beginning to pull her large T-shirt up, her small hand paused him, and she saw his golden eyes being swept by a dark wave of fear. He wondered, she was sure, if she had regretted it. But regret was just useless, the most useless thing in life.

"I don't have words, but I have this. Can you understand?"

He swallowed, his body burning into hers, then nodded solemnly, searching her mouth in a very gentle caress, much different from the desperate passionate attentions he had been bestowing upon her, and that already were that again.

She pulled the T-shirt over her body and exposed her flesh to him. His hands and mouth took possession of her, ravaged her skin, with swift licks and harsh tugs that made her moan and cry earnestly awaiting her prize, reaching desperately for him, and suddenly remembering that she had a word. Just one word, his name. And she repeated it times and times again, like a mantra.

As his hand palmed her right side, she felt if making a rough descent to her sex that throbbed with the fluids appropriate to receive him.

She wanted to be possessed, she wanted him to devour her, to keep her, and to lock her to him such was her desire to never leave him.

Pulling him to her again, she took the life force she could from him, through his mouth, into her, as if their bodies kept the other alight in the dark night of the day. Their mouth fought feverously, tongues entwining like the tails of fighting dragons, her nimble hands pulled at his hair and he moaned her name softly, fangs biting into her bottom lip as a sift thrust from his hips mimicked the act they both desired.

As if pulled by an unknown force, his warmth was suddenly gone from above her and she felt forsaken, in the night.

But no, he was there, kneeling between her open legs, Inuyasha spread them gently and downed until his mouth reached the puce colored fabric. First he nuzzled its wetness, then took a deep breath and dived right in, festering on her juices through her knickers. She tried to hold on to something, she tried to hold back the tears that escaped her eyes, and she tried to arch to escape of the intense pleasure. None of that was possible, but the first, and she almost ripped the sheets when she felt the hand that wasn't holding her waist down, rip her precious panties and exposing her deep pink wet lips and clitoris to the cold hair of the night. But his light was still there, and it warmed her from the tip of his tongue, as it explored her wet, open folds, like the spring opened the rose buttons.

And she just had one word, all over again. Inuyasha.

When he came back up again, having prevented the pleasure many times, but having it offered too many, she was glad to see he was nude too, his body glistening with sweat, just like hers. The hard thick length of his sex sprang up and down with his movements. The tip glistened and she wanted to give him the same type of pleasure – but not now, now was impossible. Now she needed to satisfy this animalistic craving that he had awakened in her.

Tugging the turgid member, towards her own sex, Kagome demanded the finishing and the beginning. He kissed her, almost convulsing in his excitation, just as she was, then slowly, with a hand shaking and panting harshly he caressed her sweaty hair, kissed the hair line with forced gentleness that was impossible to keep in this moment of passion, and asked against her forehead, strained.

"Just tell me you want this. Just tell me."

She didn't have words, she thought again, she couldn't even formulate sentences, or put syllables together. And through the fog, only one word was distinguishable, and it was his name, that she whispered softly, followed by a whimper, asking for his body in return of her sighing confirmation.

The penetration was harsh and fast, she bled for the first man she had taken into her, he cried out audibly, and gasped, from the power of her muscles, which clenched him so tightly. His whole body went rock hard. He shuddered and sought redemption by kissing her face and neck and shoulders repeatedly, not moving inside but sheathed to the hilt. She swallowed a sob and massaged his back, shaking. When the pain morphed into a throbbing slight ache, she reached between them and caught the scarlet liquid of womanhood on her fore and middle finger. Intently looking at him, she held his gaze for longs seconds, and then, averting her eyes to her fattened stomach she wrote in blood the single kanji character for Inu. Simply because it was the only word she had.

Ignoring his shocked expression, she raised her hips to his, throwing her head back in a hiss... Inuyasha forgot his shock, held her face in his hands, kissed her savagely and pounded away their loneliness. She held him firmly to her, complying eagerly with his adapting when he pushed one of her legs to her shoulder, and feeling with pleasure the depth of his penetration, and the depth of the golden gaze locked on her grey orbs, lit up only by their lights.

Were this painting lessons and she would have teached him. But being this the pulverous act of two people possessing one another, she willingly accepted his teachings.

His finger found the button hidden between her nether lips and pinched. She screamed, horrified by the blindness of white pleasure, but then it was night in her room again, even when it was day outside, her body was lax. Inuyasha was smiling and kissing her mouth with pride and joy, and his flesh still plundered hers with frenetic, chaotic yet methodic movements, she was lost again, in the space between them, in the lines that were Inuyasha, in the way he held his body over hers while his hips trusted harshly against hers. Biting her bottom lip, she controlled the urge to scream again, this time his name, though she wasn't sure that she hadn't before. One of his hands circled a globe of bouncing flesh and he pinched the puckered rosy flesh of the tip. She bucked up against him , once and again, the hand in her breast tightened, his body downed to hers and the space was little, he opened his legs further, she felt the deep of the penetration to her core and whimpered audibly, declaring that she wanted more. Her fingers had somewhat ended in the tender skin of his back and she provoked long red welts with her nails, like a butcher's hands sharpened with thick knifes rejoicing in the red tenderness of the new lamb, but he didn't complain. He seemed to enjoy the slight pain, because his hips worked faster, harder and his throat could not contain a darkish groan of her name. She knew she would not walk tomorrow or for the rest of today, but for once, as he let the animal in him, inside her, it felt right. She felt right. This was how it was suppose to be, Nirvana, free of all thoughts, she could not even rationalize what was happening between them too. She knew only to exist a dark abysm of pleasure beneath them, and she prayed for the heaven as his sweaty moved harsher and frantic that they would fall soon.

Her bed creaked, his eyes were unfocused and crying and he pinched her hidden joy button, which made her clench her tears out of her stormy eyes and release a high pitched noise of uncontrollable flood of satisfaction that filled in warm buzzing, crackling joy. He seemed relieved to be able to fall in the same pitch black she had thrown herself into. Her loins were warmed from the inside out as she felt the last throb of him, shuddering heavily above her, knees shaking profusely as he moaned out, before he exited her body and she sighed, shaking and sweating profusely, pulling her equally sated body on top of his. Heaving savagely, his ginger trembling hand pulled one of her shoulder against his chest and she looked up.

Her glassy eyes were still regaining conscience, and when she focused clearer on him, she recognized the pleading in his eyes. For her to accept him back. For her to keep feeling the same. For her to never leave his side. For her to want him. For her to not regret what they had just done.

Snuggling up closer to him, sleep suddenly overwhelming her, even though she had slept so much before, and she was able to forget all of the distress existent in her life, the fact that she felt college useless, the need to not disappoint mother and Souta, the conflict of not knowing how to not want Inuyasha and the knowing that he now wanted her as much as she had done for the past seven years, more, that he had always wanted her as she wanted him. The fact that the fates had made her life so much complicated than Sango's.

He seemed peaceful too, with an arm around her and another sprawled to the other side, panting, still carving that ceiling with his tawny eyes.

She reflected if maybe, this wasn't the real reason for their existence, as his skilled, tired but warm lips caressed her own like a committed caress with depth and feelings so profound one could only hope they would someday invent the words for this particular kind of feeling. Maybe they were meant to find each other. And to heal the others wounds and hurts with merely their own existence, to be able to be completely and undoubtedly lost in the peace your someone has to offer.