NOTE: Originally posted as a drabble on one of our blogs.
Some nights are harder than others. Some nights Illyana can sleep just fine, exhausted by the day's events or by some lucky event she actually manages to close her eyes without seeing demons in the darkness and her own sins playing on the back of her eyelids. It helps when Kitty's there, and the times they sleep in their own beds at night are becoming fewer and farther between. Without fail, Kitty's always there for her and Illyana doesn't know what she'd do without her. It pains her that the other girl will never know how much she appreciates her. How can she put something like that into words?
Laying on her stomach while Kitty lies on her side behind her, facing her, Illyana can feel herself slowly slipping from consciousness. Her eyes flutter closed only to open back up and immediately start the cycle again while Kitty's finger traces abstract designs on her back. It started a few weeks ago when the brunette was trying to coax her into sleeping and the shirt she'd been wearing was one of Kitty's that had an intricate circuit design on it. Kitty had traced her fingertip along the many lines until it had eased all the tension from Illyana's body and she'd fallen asleep within minutes. It had since become a normal thing they do when the blonde can't fall asleep.
Magik's breathing finally slows, becoming more shallow and steady as the darkness waiting patiently at the corners of her eyes threatens to overcome her, pulling her into the sleep she so desperately wants. She's almost there, too, when she notices that the pattern of Kitty's finger has changed. She doesn't think much of it at first but the longer she continues, the more aware of it Illyana becomes. She's not tracing anymore, she's writing. A few more times and she can guess that the first letter is an "I". The next is an "L". Then an "O". A "V". An "E". Illyana doesn't dare open her eyes because she's afraid if she does, her best friend will stop, but she's hyper-aware and extra sensitive to the touch when the final three letters come: Y. O. U.
There's a swelling in her chest, a feeling she has trouble describing even to herself because she knows she doesn't deserve to feel this way. She doesn't deserve Kitty's love, knows she's never really earned it either, yet here Kitty is, silently professing it to her. Despite herself, Illyana has to fight a smile from her lips. It doesn't work and she tries to subtly hide her mouth instead by pushing her face into her pillow but she does it in such a way that it looks like she's simply shifting in her sleep. Kitty doesn't seem to notice.
She traces those three words on her back four or five more times before she finally stops but her fingers still linger there a moment or two like she's trying to make sure Illyana's asleep before she pulls away. Satisfied, Kitty finally settles onto her back. But no sooner has she gotten comfortable that Magik is rolling around to face her, an uncharacteristically timid grin on her lips and a blush staining her cheeks. She snuggles up close to Shadowcat and wraps her arm around her waist to pull their bodies closer, tucking her face into the crook of her neck.
"I love you, too."