Author's note: Uh, thank you so much for reading. This is the 3rd time i try to post this fiction. Ugh, get your shit together. Anyways, this is a college AU fic, and yeah, please give reviews and comments. That will be so much appreciated. Happy reading!

Chapter one : GUILT

It's funny how life is. A minute you can see everything, and everyone, a minute later you're seeing nothing but blackness. That's exactly what Yukimura Akari; or Kayano Kaede feeling right now. Her career as an actress is destroyed because of this. Her whole life is ruined because of her being disabled now.

It's all so funny. Because she becomes blind after saving a person who doesn't even return her feelings.

"What did you see..?" She can hear the doctor's voice, as soon as the bandage who has been covering her eyes for almost two weeks is being removed from her eyes.

Nothing. She can't see anything but blackness.

"I..." she can hear herself freaking out. "I can't see! I can't see!" She can feel her heart,beating faster second after second. Her breath is getting heavier every second. An expression of horror can be seen on her facial expression, along with her screams.

Why is this happening to her?

"Nurse, grab her!" The nurses immediately obeyed the doctor's order , by tying both of Kayano's arms to the bed. The last thing she remembered before the doctor gave her some sedatives was when she was hysterically screaming her lungs out.

"Hey, didn't you hear? I heard that Yukimura-san is blind now!"

Nagisa could have swore that his heart is going to stop right there when he heard his classmates are talking about his close friend, Kayano Kaede . Two weeks ago Kayano Kaede was in a car accident. And all of it is his fault. Kayano didn't deserve to be severly injured from that accident. In fact, she didn't deserve to be in that accident at all! After all, she got hurt in order to save him. After that incident Nagisa broke up with the person that he was dating for almost 3 months. He wasn't sure why, but after the remarks that his ex girlfriend made about Kayano , he just got so furious that he just broke up with her.

After class is over, Nagisa immediately packs his bag and leaves the class immediately. Ever since that day, Nagisa has been dying slowly. The guilt is eating him alive. And even so he knows that, he won't stop blaming himself. Shaking his head slowly, the blunette twenty three year old male made his way to the hospital.

8 years has passed ever since they killed koro sensei and graduated from middle school. And for 8 years too, Nagisa and Kayano has been close friends. He admitted that Kayano is a very important person to him. She is irreplacable. And no matter what happens, he is his top priority even when he is dating someone. She always been more important than the person that he was dating.

Is it love? He can't say. All he understands is Kayano is a very important person in his life. Less in fifteen minutes he arrived at the hospital. After checking with the receptionist, he immediately goes to the room where Kayano is being treated. That's when he heard something crashing from inside. Panicked, he opens the door only to found Kayano on the floor, with a glass inside her palm.

" W-Who's there?" Her breathing is heavy. " Hello? Who's there? Answer me!" She knew that somebody is in there, in the room. Silence just made her got scarier than before.

"Kayano!" Nagisa's voice is nothing but worry. The blunette hastily approached his friend, trying to help. But instead, she swings that piece of glass to him which made him to back off a little.

"Stay back! Leave me alone!" She sounded distressed. Upset, frustrated. He knew that all of this is his fault. It's hard seeing Kayano like this. Of course it's hard for him to see his friend like this. After all, he has known her for 8 years! Seeing Kayano frightened like that , Nagisa approached her. After all Kayano needs someone to help her right now.

As he attempts to calm her down, Kayano accidentally swings the glass towards him and cuts his hand. Just a slight cut, it's nothing big. Though he thinks he'll need stitches. He says nothing but pulls Kayano into his embrace.

"Please don't do this.. " he begged. " It's okay, I'm here. I'm right here, Kayano. You're okay. There's nothing to be afraid of " he shushed her with his embrace, stroking her hair gently, and rubbing her back to calm her down.

"Nagisa.. ?" She recognized this voice. This touch. His warmth. She recognized this too much! That she drops the piece of glass from her hand. It's amazing how he can calm her down with a single embrace. And his words always calms her down. Oh how she wished that she could see his face right now.

"Nagisa..." she repeated his name, and thus just made the blunette to tightened his hug. He could hear her soft sobbing , her soft breathing . It's all too clear, and Nagisa couldn't do anything to ease her pain away.

"I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry Kayano."

"How is it? Does it still stings?" Nagisa listened to the nurse who is stitching his right hand , and shakes his head. True, it does sting a bit. But that just normal, after all his hand is wounded. This is nothing compare to what Kayano is dealing with now.

"Well then, I'm glad Shiota-kun." She cleans his hand, and noticed Nagisa's expression. " Something happened?"

That nurse, Nurse Aoi is rather close with Nagisa. Since she has met him ever since he brought Kayano to the hospital after the accident happened.

"Nothing happened." He answers.

Nurse Aoi furrowed her eyebrows, before a smile can be seen on her face.

" is this about your girlfriend again?"

Hearing Nurse Aoi's statement, Nagisa's cheeks went bright red.

"I-It's not like that! Kaya- I mean, yukimura-san is just a friend." He paused. " a very dear friend."

"Oh really, just a 'friend'? " She gave him a playful smile. " You sure treating her like your girl." Nagisa couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Kayano ? His girl ? No.., no. Kayano is a very dear friend of him, his feelings for her is not romantic. Or so, he doesn't think that he loves her that way.

" it's not like that." He shakes his head. " because of me she is now blind. She needs me. It's the least that i can do for her."

Nurse Aoi sighed. " you have to stop blaming yourself for the accident. Yukimura-san saved you because she cares for you. You acting this way is just going to make her sad."

" You can't change the fact that it was because of me that she got blind. I should have been the dead one."

After Nagisa has been treated, he comes back to Kayano 's room only to found her lying on the bed, exhausted. Must have been the sedatives again. A sigh escaped his lips as he takes a sit next to the ravenette. It's odd to see her like this. He first met her as a cheerful greenette . After they graduates from middle school, Kayano changes her hair back to her natural hair color, black. Even though she still wears her hair just like when in middle school.

"Kayano, how are you feeling?" He feels dumb asking that because he knows that she is not fine. Everything is not fine.

"Tired." She answers. " I'm fine.." even though she says that, Kayano knows that she is terrified. She is scared. How is she going to live now? How is she going to school now?

Kayano squeezed her hands together.

Nagisa notices that. After all she could never hide things from him. The bluenette takes Kayano's hands into his, squeezing it gently.

"You're not fine" he told her. "I know that you're scared, - I will support you, Kayano. I'll take care of you. I will never leave you. You don't have to be afraid, i am here for you."

This is his redemption.

Kayano furrowed her eyebrows . Support her? Takes care of her? Is he doing this out of pity ? She doesn't want this.

This will ruin his life, and goals. She doesn't want it.

"Nagisa... you should stop blaming yourself." She said. "It's not your fault , it never is. I did that to myself. It's not your fault."

Kayano lets go of her hands from Nagisa's.

"Kayano-"

She bit her lips. " i don't want you to lose your life and goals because of this. You dont have to visit me every now and then, you don't have to take care of me . Please stop... torturing yourself like this. I'm fine, i can manage."

"NO- Kayano, i'm not torturing myself." He told her. " you are my bestfriend, i care for you. And i want to take care of you. Please, let me do it."

She gulped.

"Why are you doing this to yourself? I said , no, Nagisa. And no, means no!" She is as rock headed as always. But then again, as rock headed as Kayano is, Nagisa is still the more rock headed one. Nagisa gritted his teeth, shaking his head once again.

"You can't push me away. I will not allow you to do that." Here it is again. Once he got his mind into something, it's impossible to make him to change his mind .

"Yes, i can! YOU CAN'T FORCE ME!"

Nagisa widened his eyes, surprised to hear Kayano 's outbursts. This is not the first time that she has shouted to him. She has done it many many times in the past. But this time... this time is different.

"I'll come again tomorrow," he released his hand . "Please have some rest, Kayano."

He stood up from his place and walks out of the room .