A million thanks to my beta HungryDemon who helped greatly with the quality of my writing.
Disclaimer: I own squat, do you think if I actually owned any of this franchises I would be writing fanfics about them? Heck no! I would be rolling around in sweet sweet money.
Chapter 1
It was a beautifully clear morning in the Highlands, a kind of calm permeated the atmosphere, the air was crisp, the sun was bright and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was the kind of rare morning that makes you want to go out and do something outside because it seems as if the possibilities are endless, as if anything could and would happen. Of course, none of this mattered to the two bored watchmen sitting on a sentry tower, gazing towards the ocean, waiting patiently for their shift to be over so they could go home and get some sleep.
"T'was the most incredible thing I ever saw, it was. One second it's a bear, then the lass covers it with some curtain an' bam, The Queen was there." The watchman made some elaborate gestures with his arms "Who would've thought magics like those were real?"
"A know Ewan, A was there! Ye think a don' remember a bloody bear turning into the Queen?" The other guard shook his head in exasperation "It's been six months and I'm already sick of that story."
"Jus' making conversation is all." Ewan responded. "Don't need to bite me head off."
"Then do yer job an let me do mine!"
"Job?" Ewan laughed. "Ye expect something to happen out here? Pixies? A sea monster? Maybe a ship full of Vikings…" Ewan's voice trailed off at the last one.
"Jus' cause I take ma job seriously doesn't mean you can jus'…"
"No, no!" Ewan pointed towards the ocean "That's a Viking warship in ta distance!"
"Yer sure?"
"'Course I'm bloody sure! No one's daft enough to sail a ship like tha!"
The other guard was already on his feet, "a'll go warn the village. Ye take a horse an go warn the king!"
"Aye." Ewan started making his way down from the observation post. An it was such a good morning, too.
XxX
Castle Dunbroch
The night watchman rode as swiftly as he could towards the imposing castle in the distance and was quickly let through when he told the guards he had important news for the king. He was led to the dining hall were the royal family enjoyed their breakfast. King Fergus was animated as usual, retelling the tale of Mor'du, now with a new ending, he was in the middle of miming the queen attacking Mor'du, much to her chagrin, when the door swung open.
"Yer Majesty! Yer Majesty I bring ill tidings from the coast"
The king's expression didn't change; it was as if nothing could destroy his good cheer. "Well, spill it already."
"The Vikings, Yer Majesty, there's a Viking ship approaching."
That, however, did.
"What! Those stinking savages! If they think they can jus walk here an take what they please they got another tin comin!
Fergus screamed for the guards and started barking orders, getting ready to depart; he stopped cold at the door of the dining hall when he heard his wife's voice.
"I am coming as well." Her tone left no room for argument. Fergus did it anyway.
"Absolutely nae! It's dangerous."
"Something about this is not right Fergus, I can feel it! I am going with you, whether you want me to or not."
Fergus sighed and hugged his love. Ever since the incident with Mor'du six months ago something had changed within the Queen, it was hard to pinpoint exactly what it was, but she seemed more aware, more observant; and when she had gut feeling either good or bad it always came true. Some people had even started whispering that not all of the bear had left and that she now had a deeper connection with the spirits of the land.
"Very well, but ye will not gae close to any fighting ye understand?"
"I will no get in the way of your fighting my King. I just feel that I must go with you, that it is important I be there by your side."
It was mid-afternoon when the king arrived at the small port town of Invernes and the Viking ship seemed to be taking its sweet time getting there, leisurely advancing at a slow pace.
King Fergus was tempted to just grab a few boats, fill them with warriors and take the fight to them, but Vikings were masters of nautical warfare and taking the clash to where they had the advantage would not do him any favors. Instead he used the opportunity to properly prepare: he had the town evacuated and filled it with soldiers, built a camp outside of town for the Queen and reinforcements in case they had some nasty surprise waiting for them, and still the ship hadn't arrived.
The troops were starting to get nervous.
"Wot is taking them so bloody long?"
"Calm down laddie, or yer gonnae keel over before the tussle even starts."
"Is jus' that it's strange is all, why are they coming so slowly?"
"Shut up!" The King roared, having overheard the conversation. His voice gradually rose in volume until he was shouting "If those arrogant savages give us enough time to prepare then I say we make them pay for their mistake. In blood!" he punctuated his statement with a war shout that was echoed by all.
When the Viking ship finally docked the last thing anyone expected to see coming out of it was a single Viking waving a white flag. When some of the soldiers recognized the Viking doing the deed, the murmurs started anew. The man was somewhat tall and skinnier than anyone would have expected a Viking to be. He had a surprisingly well shaved face and was dressed in the crude clothes of a Viking: brown pants and a heavy winter coat made of animal furs stitched together over a green wool tunic, a thick leather belt and a huge broadsword strapped to his back finished the ensemble.
It was his helmet that gave away his identity, two dark horns pointing backwards in such a way that anyone standing behind him would have to be careful not to get stabbed in the face. Only one man was known to wear a helmet like that.
"Backstab the Cunning." The King growled.
"Fergus the Bear King, I presume?"
"You should know by now Vikings aren't welcomed in these lands!"
The king's declaration was confirmed by the roar of the soldiers behind him.
"I just came to talk." The Viking lifted a small chest he was carrying with his other hand. "I even brought you a present."
Fergus was just about to retort something along the lines of I didn't, and start the attack when the words of his wife stopped him; he actually had to turn around to make sure she wasn't there. Grimacing as if he swallowed something nasty he nodded.
"Do not think fer even one second that A believe ye. But if it will save lives I'll humor ye. Try anything funny and you'll have ten spears in yer hide before ye finish blinking."
"Fair enough, I suppose."
"Ten men with me! The rest of you: If someone else comes off that boat fill them full of pointy things!" A second roar answered him.
Backstab was led to a camp outside of town where he saw even more soldiers waiting for them. Reinforcements, he thought, this made him smile for some reason. They stopped outside a big tent surrounded by guards.
"Wait here until I call ye." He turned to one of the guards. "Ye know what to do." And entered the tent.
"All right, off with yer weapons!"
The Viking gave the guard a strange look but complied with taking off the broadsword on his back, and a dagger from his belt, and another, and another, from his boots, his coat, his sleeves, his pants, a total of twelve daggers of various shapes and sizes were handed to the guard.
"Is that all? Are ye sure?"
"I can still kill you with my bare hands. Does that count?"
Another guard approached the Viking. "I'll just check ye to make sure."
"Don't touch me!" Backstab took a step back and glared at the second guard. "I don't like being touched!"
The guard ignored him.
When king Fergus went back outside he was greeted by the sight of one of his guards carrying a small armory, another frozen in place with one of his arms extended as if to grab something and the rest pointing their spears at a bored looking Backstab.
"I'm not gonnae ask. Follow me."
"Your guards need to learn more manners."
"Shut up!"
The inside of the tent was decorated with a few shields and the banner of the Dunbroch clan. The Viking sat at one end of rectangular table and idly noted a goblet filled with wine set before him, he was surprised to find Queen Elinor sitting on the opposite end of the table. The meeting didn't start officially until the King took a seat by her side.
"Backstab the Cunning." Fergus began.
"Knifenut Thorston, at your service. That whole Backstab business is just a nickname I picked up somewhere."
Fergus rolled his eyes. "I wonder why?"
The Viking's smirked. "It's kind of self-explanatory."
"So it is. But tell me. What makes ye think you'll be allowed back on yer ship? Yer a wanted man after all. A very wanted man."
"And here I thought you didn't like me." The Viking scratched his chin. "But seriously? Two reasons: The first one is that the execution of a foreign dignitary-" Fergus snorted at that "-is cause for war. The second…" His voice trailed off as if he suddenly realized something. "Say, that was a pretty impressive show of force back at the dock. All those soldiers, and in the town too, not to mention the reinforcements and all those extras that I'm sure aren't supposed to leave the Queen's side for any reason."
He smiled rather predatorily. "It's amazing how many people can be mobilized by the sight of a slowly approaching Viking warship. Tell me, did you pull any of those men from Kiltton? From Underbridge maybe? From both of them perhaps? That would make them very tempting targets for faster, more discreet ships. The kinds of ships that could easily sneak around while everyone else was looking elsewhere."
Knifenut stared intensely at the pair. "The price of my life is two under defended port towns razed to the ground."
The Queen paled with dread while King Fergus turned red with rage. "You murderous monster!"
"Calm yourself before you keel over. I haven't done anything but provide myself a means of escape. The axe is in your hands as they say."
"Why you!"
"You will both stop this pointless posturing immediately!"
Queen Elinor had recovered her composure as she realized that: as the Viking in front of her was using the towns as hostages for his life; the longer they stood around talking, the more danger those people were in. She had to get rid of him as quickly as possible. Vikings were not known for their patience.
"Tell us what you have come here to say and leave."
The raider nodded. "Regardless of my past intentions whenever I stepped in your lands, today I have come to tell you a story." He paused for a second to check their reactions: Queen Elinor remained impassive wile King Fergus had a look on his face that clearly meant 'how stupid do you think I am?'
Knifenut decided to direct his effort towards the Queen.
"For the last 300 years the Vikings of Berk have been in a constant war against an enemy more powerful than what you can imagine, and then suddenly we're not. I won't bore you with the details, but know this, for the first time in 300 years there is peace, but for how long? Peace is such a fragile thing, don't you agree?"
Knifenut picked up his goblet and eyed the contents wearily before putting it back down.
"Right now everyone's happy." Well, mostly everyone. An image of Mildew came to his mind. "Three centuries of constant war is a bit much, even for us Vikings, and right now everyone's enjoying a much needed vacation."
He laughed as if it that was some kind of private joke and continued.
"Eventually people will start to get twitchy; we have been fighting for too long, it's a part of who we are now, before long we'll fight again. So don't be surprised if the next wave of raids you encounter is done on the backs of dragons."
Fergus couldn't take it anymore. "An ye came all this way to brag about it!"
"Fergus!" The Queen admonished lightly. "Get to the point Captain Knifenut."
The Viking's eyes narrowed for a second before he caught himself.
"My point is that the times are changing, and so, the chief of Berk Stoic the Vast has thought it wise to try and extend the peace, to other long time enemies. In other words, I have come to propose an alliance."
The stomachs of both monarchs dropped at those words. They knew what an arrangement like that would entail.
The Queen recovered first. "If it is peace you are truly after, you and your clan will not be denied. But know this, the times are changing for us too, and if you had plans to cement this alliance with marriage, you must know that whomever you pick for such endeavor will have to win her heart before he even thinks to have her hand."
"That is not negotiable." The King growled out.
"Her heart?" Knifenut looked flabbergasted "You mean love?" he rolled the word around as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. "And how do you propose we do that? I doubt you would lend us the princess for a proper Viking courtship."
"Is that what you call whacking them over the head with a mace?"
"The wife never complained, said it got her on the mood."
"Be that as it may," Queen Elinor interrupted before both males started bickering. "You are correct in your assumption that we will not 'lend' you the princess, however…"
"Ye can bring who ye chose here and he'll be given the same chances as her other suitors." Fergus's tone and giant smile clearly showed how likely he thought the chances of his daughter falling for some Viking.
Knifenut mulled it over for a minute. "I can work with that. Very well; if everything goes smoothly then the chief's only son, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third will arrive in two months time, carrying a rough draft of the alliance treaty so you can go over it."
"That is acceptable, now please leave."
At the Queen's dismissal Knifenut bit back a proper Viking retort and put on a big smile. "Don't be so hasty, Your Majesty, just one more thing and I will go. Presents!"
He stood and placed the chest he had been carrying on the table.
"I wouldn't use it in a fight if I were you, and don't play around with it, its probably still poisonous, oh and don't worry about your guard he'll be able to move again in a few hours."
XxX
Some time later; aboard the Viking ship.
"How'd it go, boss?"
"Both better and worse than I expected it. At least I managed to get rid of that gaudy thing Craftnut made for me."
"He's gonna be pissed when he finds out you know?"
"Are you kidding me? He got to create a symbol of peace between two previously warring nations. He'll be ecstatic."
"'Cept we're not at war, or a nation, an they probably chucked that thing in the trash by now."
Knifenut waved off the other Viking in a way that clearly meant he would handle it and ordered a signal sent to the other ships. As he saw twin streamers of fire going towards the distance he took a minute to marvel at the youngest Haddock's cleverness, to be able to replicate the look, if not the intensity or the destruction of a dragon's fire took a special kind of talent. He never got the whole story of how he did it; something about a Nadder's breath and Hiccup and the Ingerman boy getting stuck on an island without their dragons. It didn't matter anyway. The important part was that they had a way to signal other ships that no one else could imitate.
He turned to look at the retreating mainland and growled softly, he didn't actually gave a Gronkle's fart about making peace with a bunch of skirt wearing Highlanders, but he had plans, glorious plans that required Stoic's son married off to someone without Viking blood, and some airheaded princess was perfect. But now that that part was in question, he felt like he had made the trip in vain. No matter! He would make this work in his favor somehow, he would not have his people's glorious destiny ruined by something as stupid as a teenager inability to score.
"All right people; let's go kill ourselves some Goths!"
The cheer that answered him was music to his ears.
Chapter 1 is all done, yay, remember to review, what did you like what did you not like etc. And while you're at it could someone tell me what is Merricup week and why did it start on a Wednesday? Is it one of those fake holidays pushed down our throats by fat-cat multinational corporations to sell merchandise? Is that it!? IS IT!? (pant, pant.) Sorry about that.