Hey guys,
I'm back ... but not on my own. I wrote this one shot together with the wonderful Antoni. ... you know us, so of course it's about Addek. ;)
Some information:
- The song "A whole new world" is borrowed from Disney's "Aladdin"
- Of course neither of us is Shonda, so we don't own anything
- The story is set somewhere in late season 4 Private Practice and late season 7 Grey's Anatomy ... we know that we won't know what will happen then, but this is our idea, what we wish that would happen ;)
So, now talked enough. Enjoy and we would be really happy if you told us what you think about it. Reviews make our day! :D
Love Mariella and Antoni
A whole new world
It`s been only a couple of days since Meredith`s and Derek`s final break-up and now Derek and Zola were on their way to LA. Zola was sleeping, her head resting on his chest.
Derek was thinking about his and Meredith's final battle. Like most times it had been again about Zola and their "marriage".
"Derek I know it`s hard for you. But it shouldn`t. You should be able to trust your wife with your daughter. You need to trust me!" She told him sadly.
"But you're not trustworthy there. You were different in the beginning, but you forgot her in a one call room. You forgot her at Alex' home. You forgot to feed her one day."
Derek told her angry.
"But she is fine Derek. This could happen to everyone." She tried to defend herself.
Derek groaned. "That's not the thing Meredith. She's a child. You can't ... put her away like a worn out pullover."
"I`m not doing anything like that! I love her Derek. I love her!"
"I don't see that and we ... we haven't been good a long time."
"Derek, what are you saying?"her voice was shaking with fear.
"When we married. I know this doesn't mean anything to you, but I ... this wedding was not real a wedding. It didn't feel like one."
"We only did it so we could adopt Zola Derek. The post-it was when we really got married."
Derek shook his head. "A wedding should be something where you promise to stick together in front of your friends and family. I like that. I know it might be out of fashion, but it's the way I think of a wedding." He couldn't help it, but remember his wedding with Addison. It was such a beautiful day and they were so happy.
"We decided together, that we don`t need that." She reminded him being toatlly confused now. She thought this was about Zola, but obviously Derek was questioning their whole marriage.
"Meredith. I don't think this works anymore. We don't work anymore. We haven't work as a couple in a while now. The only thing that made us stay together was Zola."
"But Derek, we can`t break up. You can`t leave me."
"I can and I will."
"But Zola."
"I will take her with me."
"You can`t just take her away from me Derek. I`m her mom."
"Meredith, is this really the thing you want?"
"I want a family with you. That`s what I want."
"Do you want me or Zola?"
"Both of you Derek."
"But we're over. Of course you can see Zola. You're her mom, but we can't be a family anymore."
Derek skipped back to reality. They were nearly in L.A.
Addison was lying on Sam's couch. She was hungry. Again. She really disliked the fact that she`s hungry all the timeö. She was basically eating the whole day. "Sam, do we still have ice cream?"
"No you ate it already." he answered coldly.
"Could you please get me some?"
"Addison, I have lots of work to do." he replies frustrated.
"Sam, come on. I start to feel like a whale."
"Well that´s to be expected when you`re having a baby."
Addison groaned. "Sam. I will go to my own house. I can see that I`m not wanted here" Addison stood up. "Aren't you even try to convince me to stay?" She asked him sadly.
"Why would I? You`re cranky all day long and it`s like holidays to get an hour or two for myself." he shot back.
Addison looked at him hurt. "You know ... never mind. It's not like it would interest you in any way."
"What Addison? Don`t make me look like the bad guy here!"
"No, you know. Forget it. I told you, you have to love me with my baby."
"I guess we`re over then."
Addison looked at him cold. "Aren't we over since I started to show?"
"I think we`ve been over before that already. Sex was the only thing that kept us together."
She just stood up and left his house. She was furious. He was an ass. Why did they even get back together she asked herself. When she stormed out of Sam's house, she didn't see her ex-husband on his doorstep with a little girl on his arms.
"Hey man, what was that all about and since when is Addison pregnant?" Derek suddenly asked Sam out of the blue.
"Hey Derek, she's 7th month."
"She never told me. Why is she that angry that she didn`t even notice me standing on the doorstep?"
"We broke up." He told Derek emotionless.
"You were in a relationship?"
"Yes."
"You and Addie? Is that your child?"
"Nope, not my child."
Derek was slightly confused now. "Then whose child is it?"
"She got a sperm donor."
"Oh. Wow."
"Yep."
"So Sam this is Zola, my daughter." Derek introduced the baby to Sam.
"Hey." Sam only told the little girl. He was in a bad mood.
Zola was still looking at Addison's front door where she had last seen the great red hair.
"Zola and I were wondering if we could stay for a couple of nights. Of course we can get a hotel room as well if you`d rather be alone."
"Sure. Stay." Sam only told him.
"Are you sure? You don`t seem too happy about that."
"Yes, don't worry. Are you hungry? 'Cause Addison nearly ate everything I had in my fridge."
"No I`m fine. But I think it might be better if we stay in a hotel. We don`t want to be a burden." Derek explained to Sam
"If this is what you want." Sam only replied without any fight.
"Yes. But maybe we can meet someday and catch up?"
"Sure. Have a good night Derek."
"See you."
"Yep. Bye." Sam closed the door.
Addison sat on her couch and looked at a bottle of red wine. She knew she wouldn't drink anything, but only looking at it was in some way calming.
Addison went to her fridge and got some chocolate ice cream out and began to eat it.
The moment she got comfortable on her couch the doorbell rang and she had to get up and open it.
"Derek?" She looked at him surprised.
"Surprise. Well we`ve seen you earlier when you stormed out of Sam`s house but you were obviously too busy being angry to notice us." Derek tried to make her smile.
"Oh I ... us ... wait." Addison saw the little girl on Derek's arm. "Oh who's that sweet little girl?" Addison smiled at her.
"This is Zola. My daughter. We adopted her but Meredith and I, we didn`t work out in the end I noticed she isn`t exactly the best mother either." he explained.
Addison smiled at him. "Wanna come inside?"
"This I call a nice greeting. Sam was all cold and didn`t speak more than two words in a row I think."
"Ok, can we NOT talk about Sam. Thanks." She picked Zola from her dad. "And you my litte one, are a really beautiful little girl."
Zolas hands instantly moved to Addison's hair and she played with it.
"She is, isn`t she." Derek smiled at her proudly.
"Really sweet." Addison sat down on the couch.
"Why did you never tell me that you`re expecting?"
"We weren't really talking a lot in the last time and you didn't tell me about this sweet girl either." Addison cuddled Zola close.
"Well I had a lot to do and we only adopted her 2 month ago but you`re seven month pregnant." he stated looking at her in awe. She looked exactly how he had always imagined she would pregnant.
"I look like a whale. Don't remember me of that."
"You don`t look like a whale. Only because you feel like it, doesn`t mean you actually do look like one." He smiled at her and Zola. "You`re good with her. She likes you already."
"Maybe my job has at least some effects." She smiled at him. "Thank you, for not thinking I'm a whale." Sam had always given her the feeling she looked like one.
"I think you look beautiful. You have that glow everyone talks about when they talk about pregnant women. I can see that on you. Even though you just broke up with Sam."
"Ahh ... no mentioning him. He's an idiot. So what do you think: Will I have a girl or boy? Nae was totally shocked that I didn't want to know."
"You`re Addison. Is that answer enough?"
"Nope. What do you try saying with that."
"You`re having a girl. That`s what I`m saying with it."
"You know there's a chance she will look nothing like me, right?" She smiled at him. He looked so happy even though he had obviously just left his wife. Zola was lying on her belly and resting peacefully.
"If she knows what`s best for herself, she`ll look just like you." She looked so happy and relaxed out of the sudden. Even though she had just left her boyfriend.
"It's good to have you here. So how long will you two stay? Because I will spoil your daughter rotten and this project will take me some time."
"I don`t know yet. I decided to take paternity leave since I`m a single parent now so I kind of have quite a lot of time."
"Sounds good. Where will you stay?"
"I`m not sure yet. I didn`t book a hotel room since I thought Sam wouldn`t be so strange and we could stay with him."
"Oh, don't worry. I have a really beautiful guest room if you want to stay."
"We really don`t want to be in your way. We`ll find a hotel room"
"No. I would love to have you around. I also have a crib if you want Zola to stay in it."
"Alright. But one condition." he lifted his index finger.
"Tell me."
"I`ll do the cooking."
"Oh, thank God." Addison said laughing. "I'm still bad at this cooking thing."
"It`s about time that you learn how to cook now that you`re going to have a little person to care for." he walked over to her and set down next to her, moving his hand to let it rest on her pregnant belly.
"I can order perfectly."
"I`m going to teach you a few things while I`m here. This will be fun."
"Do you remember the last time you tried to teach me?"
"I`m not going to remember that because then I won`t try again. So are you hungry?"
"Always. Derek, I'm serious. Last time I nearly set our kitchen on fire and then ..." Addison drifted off. She remembered the great sex. "... ahm well ... so I'm really hungry."
"This time I won`t leave you alone and you don`t have a gas range, do you?"
"Uhmm ... I don't think so ... I bought the kitchen, which looked the best."
"Of course you did." he chuckle.
"You know me so well. So let's go to the kitchen." They went to the kitchen. Zola was still in Addison's arm. Addison sat down in a chair with Zola and played with her. She was such a happy child. "How old is Zola now?"
"She`s 11 month"
"Ah, I think I have fallen for her Derek and because of that, you have to stay here."
"We´ll stay in your guestroom for a little while." he smiled at her.
"Like that. So what about the food you talked about earlier?"
"I`ll make you something."
Two weeks later Addison and Derek had fallen into some rutine. Addison liked to have him and Zola around.
"So I think Zola missed you today. You really should stop working at this stage of your pregnancy. Have you even thought about names yet?"
"I have the perfect name." Addison grinned at him.
"Oh don`t say Carson Addison."
"I like Carson."
"No you don`t. You`re child will never forgive you if you call it Carson. Don`t call her Carson!"
Addison sighed. "I have another name for a girl."
"And what would that be?"
"I like Aurora."
"I don`t."
"Why?"
"I don`t know. I always liked the i in your name. And I thought there should be an i in the name of your daughter."
"The "i"?" Addison laughed. "What's so special about the "i"?" Addison picked Zola up from his dad and sat down on the couch.
"I like the sound. When I call you Addie. I love the i. It sounds cute."
"So some ideas for names with "i"?"
"Milou. It means as sweet as hunny. And it`s a French name"
"Ahhh you're sweet." Addison laid her feet in his lap.
She smiled at him. "I think I should stop completely wearing heels. My feet hurt so much."
"You`re due in 6 weeks, how can you even think about wearing heels?"
"Oh come on, they are only really short heals. Now back to the names. Do you have more suggestions?"
"Yes. Niamh, Magalie and Lina."
"I love Milou. It's a sweet name, but what do you think of Carson as the second name?"
"Horrible."
"You're mean."
"You always hated having so many names. You could simply give her one name. Milou Montgomery."
"By the way, how do you know so many baby names?"
"Well there once was a time in which I thought you and I would have children."
Addison shifted a bit uncomfortable. "You thought about names?" She asked him quietly.
"Yes I did. I even had a book with baby names in my locker for quiet shifts."
She smiled at him. "This is sweet. Care to tell me about the boy names?"
"Well on top of my list was Emil. Because I just love the name. And Liam is short in Ireland for William."
"Cian because it means wise."
Addison smiled at him. "Sounds good and would fit with the Shepherd."
He rememberd the days he was looking through the book with baby names. "Milou and Emil were my favorites."
"And you're really ok, if I would name this little girl Milou?."
"I wouldn`t have suggested it if I wasn`t okay with it."
"Thanks." She smiled at him brightly. "So Milou, what do you think?" They sat a moment in silence, then Addison nearly jumped. "Derek, she`s kicking again." She grinned brightly.
"It might mean that she`s okay with the name." he chuckles.
"Seems like it. Wanna feel it?"
He nodded and smiled at her when he felt the baby move. "That`s amazing."
"I know. I really can't believe it. There's a human being inside me and she's kicking." Addison felt so happy right now."
"I know. It`s amazing. You know if the shooting hadn`t happened, Meredith and I would have a baby now. I mean, I love Zola but we would have a baby. A mix of her and me."
Addison couldn't help it, but feel a bit jealousy. "I would have hoped for your eyes and hair then."
"Sorry, this kind of ruined the happiness right now."
"No, don't worry. It's not like we're a couple and this is our baby."
"Well I have fabulous hair." he paused a moment. "I hope Milou as your hair."
"I know, I have good hair too."
The day after the due date Addison started to have her first contraction. She sat at her couch. "Ouch!"
Zola was crawling on the floor while Derek was making lunch. "Are you okay?" he called from the kitchen.
"No! Gosh, Derek this is so ... I can't do this!"
"What?" he asked confused when he arrived in the living room. Then it hit him. "Baby time?"
"I can't do this, this is ... gosh, this baby won't even have a father and I ... I could be like Bizzy and ..." She started to hyperventilate.
He walked closer to her and placed one hand on her belly and the other one on her small back. "Breath Addie. Good air in and bad air out." he let her concentrate on breathing first before he continued. "Now listen. I was married to you for almost 12 years and I think I can judge that and you will never be like Bizzy. Yes your baby won`t have a father but you Addison, you will be enough for her. You`ll be enough and you`ll be a brilliant mom!"
"I can't do this ... I ... I am not good enough. I made so many mistakes in the past and ... oh gosh ..."
"No Addison. No. You are good enough. Trust me. Now stop worring because all you have to think about right now, is breathing normally so you can bring a healthy baby into this world. Everything will turn out perfectly fine."
She looked at him still in horror. "Will you come with me?"
"I`ll definitely bring you to the hospital." he told her.
"That's not what I meant ... will you be there?"
"Oh, I, if I find someone to watch Zola."
"Thanks."
"Now first let's get you to the hospital. And from there I`ll try and find someone to watch Zola."
"Are you sure it's ok to leave her alone till then. Owww!" Another contraction hit her.
"She`ll come with us for now."
"Ok ... ok ... I'm fine ... I'm ... oh God, Derek, I'm having this baby Derek."
"I know." He smiled at her warmly. "Now your bag is packed right? Is there anything you need before we`re going?"
"No, the bag is in the master bedroom."
"I`ll get it then. You make yourself comfortable until I`m back, okay?"
"Sure." Short time later Derek was back and Addison, Derek and Zola made their way to the hospital.
Derek carried Zola and Addison`s bag inside. "Now you sit down and I get you a room okay?"
"Ok ... I'm good, I'm good ... everything is fine."
"Yes everything is fine." he gave her an encouraging smile before he left her. Short time later Derek came back with a nurse.
Addison had another contraction. "Owww!"
"We`ll bring you in a normal room for now until the birth is progressing. I paged Dr. Morgan and she should be with you in about five minutes to examine you. Okay?" She asked Addison nicely.
"Sure."
Derek let Addison squeeze his hand during the contraction. "Do you know where I could leave my daughter?" Derek now asked the nurse.
"We have a daycare center. They sometimes take care of patients children if they have enough room."
After Derek asked her if she could check whether or not they had space for Zola he thanked her and looked at Addie.
"Derek, I think I'm dying."
"No you`re not Addie. You`re doing the exact opposite, you`re brining a new life on this earth."
"Damn it! You men are damn lucky ... you only do the fun thing and then it's our turn."
"Addie, I didn`t bring you in this situation." he reminded her.
"Yeah, I know."
"Good." After the nurse came back and told Derek that they indeed have a space for Zola they brought Addison to her room where Dr. Morgan checked her cervix. She wasn`t dialated much yet.
Addison lied down and tried to breath in and out. "Hey Derek, thanks that you are here."
"Always for you."
She smiled at him softly.
"Imagine that you`ll have a baby in only a couple of hours."
"Gosh, let's hope that will be over soon."
"I´m sure it will. Do you want to walk around for a little while. A very good doctor once told me that this helps to progress the birth." he teased her as it was her that said walking and sitting up would progress the birth not lying down.
Addison smiled. "Sure. Will you help me get up?"
He held out a hand for her and pulled her into a sitting position. He smiled at her and helped her stand up.
They walked around for a while.
Derek could see that the contractions started to become more painful and longer as well.
"Owww ..." Addison grabbed his hands tighter.
"Adds, I hate seeing you in so much pain. Are you sure you don`t want a PDA?"
"I'm sure."
"Do you want to go back to your room and rest for a while?"
"No, I ... let's walk around for a while. It's good to take a walk with you." Addison smiled at him. "It's good to have you hear."
"It feels right to be here with you."
She grinned. Why the hell did it feel so right that Derek was here? He was still her ex-husband. But also a friend. Her best friend since they have first met. Even though they are divorced, she could always count on him and the other way around. She grabbed his hand tighter.
"It`s okay. Just try to relax." He softly rubbed her back during the contraction.
Some time later Addison and Derek went back to her room. Addison still wasn't nearly ready to give birth.
"You should rest Adds." it`s been almost 3 hours since Addison experienced her first contraction. "And you should get a PDA now that it`s still possible." He advised her.
"No PDA!"
"Alright. Do you want something to eat? You should eat."
"I'm not sure. Do you have something good to eat?"
"I can get you something good to eat. What would you like?"
"I'm not sure. You know me. Get me something I like."
"Are you allowed to eat everything?" he asked unsure.
"Hmm .. coffee and alcohol is not a good thing, but except this everything."
"I`ll get you a sandwich or would you prefer something warm?"
"Dunno ... just get me something."
He disappeared to get her (and himself) something to eat. He also went to check on Zola, whom he she found peacefully asleep.
Addison laid down. Gosh, she hoped she could give birth soon. This was really starting to annoy her.
"Addison, how are you feeling?" Dr. Morgan asked when she came to check on her patient an hour later.
"Annoyed because it`s not progressing."
"Let me see how far you`re dialated." She said and moved to sit in between Addison`s legs.
"Pray to God, it's wide enough." Addison muttered.
"I`m sorry to disappoint you."
Addison groaned. "How far?"
"Still only 4."
"This can't be true."
"I`m afraid it is. Addison I ask you again, do you want a PDA because I know your contractions are getting more painful already.?"
"No PDA. I told Derek this before."
"I know but honestly, this doesn`t look like it`s going to be easy."
"I'm fine."
"If you say so."
"Yes."
"I`ll check on you in an hour or so. Let someone page me in case you need me earlier."
"Sure."
"Addison, the PDA is there to help women during birth. To make it easier. It doesn`t mean you`re weak." Derek told her from the doorway.
Addison rolled her eyes. "You're using my words Shepherd. Clever."
"If you don`t listen to our words, you might listen to your own." he chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Think about it."
"No. Remember this one time during med school when we talked about that? I said I would do that without PDA and I was serious about that."
"Why are you so damn stubborn?"
"I was always like this."
"I know."
"Would you sit down next to me?"
"Of course."
She smiled at him. "Thanks."
Hours later Addison felt like she would cry in pain really soon.
It was unbearable for Derek to see Addison in so much pain. She looked like she would start crying soon and hearing her whimper every time she has a contraction made him feel so bad for her.
"Ok, please say me, this baby is going to come really, really soon." She groaned.
"I don`t know Addie. It`s been 8 hours so far. I don`t know how soon it will come."
She rolled her eyes. "I hate this baby right now."
He had to chuckle about that.
"It's mean to laugh about a pregnant woman in labour. Gosh, I did this so many times ... I told the women to be calm and not to freak out and now I am here and ... gosh ... I'm freaking out."
Addison groaned again. "So, 8! hours. This really can't be true."
"What`s the average time a birth takes when a woman has her first baby?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"I wouldn`t ask otherwise, would I?"
"Around 15 hours ... if we're "lucky" up to 20 or more."
"Looks like we have lots of time until then. How about I give you a massage and you try to relax a little?"
"Sure."
"Okay, sit up and maybe I can sit behind you?"
Addison slowly sat up and let him sit behind her.
"Is it good like that?"
"You're such a good guy ..." She kissed his cheek.
"That`s why you married me." he smiled.
"Yeah." She looked at him. She nNever before nor after their marriage had she loved someone like she loved Derek.
"Do you want to go and walk around a little more?"
"No ..." She leaned in a bit more. "I like it here."
"Okay. There, you should drink something." he adviced her and handed her a glass of water.
"Thanks." She looked at him again. Gosh, she couldn't be falling for him again. He was just a great friend. A friend, who was with here, because her best friend moved and this baby didn't have a father. She repeated this over and over in her head again and still this was exactly like she imagined it, when she was married to him and wished she would be pregnant with his baby.
"Now I could read you two a story if you want to? You have a book for the baby in your bag don`t you?"
"I have. Guess which one."
"Sleep well little bear?"
"Sometimes it's really scary how good you know me."
"Well you bought that book when we thought you`re pregnant during residency."
Addison had little tears in her eyes. "I did and you read it to my flat belly, where no child was growing."
"That`s right." he said thoughtfully. How would their lives have turned out if Addison had been pregnant back then.
She gave the book to him and gave him a small smile. The thoughts of this still hurt. Derek was so happy about it and she was too even though she knew it would have been hard for both of them, but she was also sure, it would have been worth it. "So you could try again. This time I'm really sure I'm pregnant."
"Not for much longer though." With this he started reading.
Addison listened to his comforting voice and she started to think how their life could have turned if she was pregnant back thenin residency. Would they still be together?
Would they have more than one child and would they be boys or girls.
Would they be happy?
"... and then he fell asleep." he closed the book and suddenly felt the urge to kiss Addison.
Addison looked at Derek closely. She loved it when he read to her. Gosh, whyWhy did she want to kiss him so badly?
Instead he kissed her forehead again. How`s the little one in there? Asleep or totally excited to finally meet me?" Derek teased.
"You have quite a comforting voice. So I would say asleep."
"Good."
A few hours later, Addison had been in labour for a little over 16 hours when she finally could start pushing.
Addison felt relieved. She hated nothing more than waiting. Her mood had changed like thousand times over the last hours. For a short time Sshe was even a short time really sure, inside her wouldn't be a girl, but a boythat she would have a boy and not a girl.
"Do you want me to hold your hand?" Derek asked her when the midwife told them to get ready.
Addison nodded. Ok, she had done this thousand times before. Other side! Something inside her head screamed. You were always on the other side.
"Ok, Addie I know you can do that. So please start pushing when you`re ready." the midwife instructed her.
Addison nodded again. Short time later she started pushing.
"You`re doing great." Derek told her encouraging.
Addison rolled her eyes. "You can say that easily. You don't try to push out a watermelone out of your vagina." She said between pushes.
"I`m just trying to encourage you." he chuckled.
"I know it's just ... this hurt so much."
"I know it hurts a lot, but you have to keep going Addie." The midwife told her gently. "I can see a tiny bit of your babys head."
"Urgh ... great ..." Addison said in frustration.
"You should start feeling the ring of fire soon Addison." That`s a sentence she usually says when the baby`s head is about to be born. But it didn`t seem like the head was moving any further.
"Don`t stop Addison. You have to keep pushing."
Addison pushed again and told Derek under her breath. "It's mean to use my words against me."
"I`m only giving you a warning." Dr. Morgan said. "Addison nothing`s moving. Try a big strong push."
Addison pushed stronger and squeezed Derek's hand accidently really hard.
He winced in pain but stopped as she gave him a very scary look.
Derek saw the midwifes face expression. "I think we need to use the ventouse Addison." Dr. Morgan told her.
Addison groaned. She knew this would hurt like hell. "Fine."
"Are you ready Addison?"
"As ready as I can be I guess."
"Okay." She started and in no time the baby`s head was born.
"Do you want to feel your baby`s head?"
Derek looked at the baby`s face in awe. "It`s perfect." he told Addison.
Addison was still a bit over helmed by the pain.
How does she look like?"
"Like you of course." he told her. "Beautiful."
"Addie keep going your baby`s almost here." Dr. Morgan encouraged.
She smiled at him. "Ok, let's get her out."
Derek smiled at her and squeezed her hand. "Don`t stop pushing the shoulders are almost out."
Addison nodded. She was in a better mood by now.
"And she`s here." Dr. Morgan instantly placed the screaming baby on Addison`s belly and covered them with a small cloth.
Addison smiled. "Hey baby girl."
"Congratulations." Derek whispered and watched Addison and her new baby girl.
"Thank you. I couldn't have done this without you."
"Always. I`ll leave you two alone for a little while and check on Zola okay?"
"Sure. Give Zola a kiss."
"Welcome home."
Addison was allowed to go home 4 days after she gave birth. "Hey. It's good to be home."
"Welcome home little one." Derek greeted Milou and Addison with a kiss on the cheek.
Addison looked at him. She still felt the urge to kiss him. To kiss him properly.
"Let's show Milou her bedroom shall we?"
"Sure." It felt so much like they were happily married again, but they weren't. Addison had to remind herself of that fact.
Zola was babbling happily on her daddy's arm and looking at the new baby curious.
Addison kissed Zola. "Hey Zola, how were you and daddy doing?"
"I think Zola and I should go back. Milou is here now and she needs her nursery. We can`t be in your way anymore."
"I like to have you two here.
"We really don`t want to be a burden." He put in. Zola meanwhile stretched her arms towards Addison. "Mamama." she said suddenly.
Addison couldn't hide a smile. "You're not a burden." Addison placed Milou inon Derek's arm and took Zola from him. "Hmm little girl, what do you think. Wanna stay here?"
"Addie. It`s only getting harder for Zola to get separated from you again."
She cuddled Zola close. "Derek ..."
He wouldn`t like anything more than staying. He truly fell in love with Addison all over again, but it wasn`t fair on Zola. She loves Addison and it will be hard for her when she`s suddenly gone again.
Addison kissed Zola on her temple and gave her back to Derek and took Milou. "Then go ... just go ... this is the thing you can do best, right?" Addison knew this day would come, but it hurt. She had fallen for him again and she had fallen for Zola.
"Where is this coming from suddenly?" he asked her confused.
"Derek, don't ... just ... let it be." She went with Milou to the nursery.
Derek went after Addison pbut placed Zola in the playpen before. "No Addie. Tell me."
"No!"
"I don`t understand what`s going on Addison. We`re friends and we both knew that Zola and I have to go back to Seattle."
"Yes, but I can't ... Derek. You were here all the time and I got used to it and ... don't. Just go. I think this is best for us."
"Addie, do you, do you still love me?"
"No. Go. Go back to Meredith. Go back to your old life. Thank you for being here during birth and everything."
He suddenly took her by her wrists and hold her, forcing her to look into his eyes. He could see that she lied. So he pulled her closer and kissed her passionately.
She couldn't do anything then but kiss him back. She laid her arms around his shoulders.
"I do love you. It`s on you. If you love me back Zola and I can stay here."
"What's with about Meredith?"
"Meredith and I are over. She`s not the woman I love. She`s not my daughters mother."
"Derek, I do love you. I always didhad." She had little tears in her eyes.
"That`s good." he smiled at her and dried her tears with little kisses.
"Derek, we ... this didn't work the last time and ..." Addison was strugeling. She wanted to be with him, but she also knew, how their break up was last time.
"Last time was different." He told her. "Now we`re more grown up and we want the same things. Now our job isn`t first priority but our children."
Addison looked at her ex-husband. He still hold her heart. He would always. "This time this isn't only about us, there are two children we have to think about."
"Another reason for us to be together. We`ll be the perfect parents for the both of them. My daughter needs a mom and your daughter needs a dad."
Addison looked at him. "You're serious about that, aren't you?"
"I am." he confirmed and reached for her hand.
She looked at him for a while. "I love Zola."
"I love you and Milou as well."
Addison had tears in her eyes. "She's only a few days old."
"I loved her ever since I saw you pregnant for the first time. It felt like it`s supposed to be my baby in there and I loved her ever since."
"But she isn't yours ... are you sure about that? Because I can't survive if you leave me ... us ... again. All the other men ... it wasn't ... I never loved one of them like I love you."
"It feels like she`s mine. And i love you Addison. I love you just as much as I did on our wedding day."
"I love you like I loved you back then too." Addison cuddled closer to him.
"Now what? Does this mean, I get to be your man?"
Addison smiled. "You were and will always be my man."
"You`ll always be my wife."
"We aren't married."
"You`ll always be my wife."
She kissed him softly.
Derek responded the kiss and his hand moved to Addison`s back and carressed her softly.
She moved closer and cuddled as close as she could to him.
In this moment Zola started to cry "Moma! Dada!"
"I`ll get her. You try and relax."
"Can you get Milou too?"
"Sure."
Addison smiled at him, when he came back with the two little girls. She nearly cried.
"Why are you crying?" He asked he worried. He didn`t have a free hand to hug Addison.
Addison took Zola from him. "It's just ... I'm so happy."
"Then don´t cry but laugh." He kissed her nose gently.
Addison grinned and cuddled Zola close. "Hey little girl."
"What do you think about Addie being your mommy Zola?"
Derek asked the little girl, not noticing that the back door opened and Sam slipped inside.
Addison, Derek, Zola and Milou sat down on the couch. Addison cuddled close to Derek and her two "daughters". Sam heard that Addison came back from the hospital. So he went over to congratulate her.
"Mamama" Zola said happily waving her tiny hands.
Then he saw her together with Derek and his daughter sitting on the couch, cuddled close together. This, couldn't be true. They had hurt each other so badly and now his daughter was calling her mama? "Oh come on, Addie, you can't be serious about that!" He freaked out.
Addison looked at him. HShe hadn't seen him before. "Sam ..."
"Sam, what are you doing here?" Derek asked.
"I just came to congratulate Addie, but the better question is, what are you doing." Sam was furious.
"What do you mean? Zola and I have been here for weeks. Why can`t we be here now?"
"Because it looks like you are a family. Like you two are back together."
"Sam, that`s non of your business anyway is it?" Derek asked freaking out a little as well. Addie wouldn`t go back to Sam would she?
Addison hugged the two little girls tight, who seemed a bit afraid.
"Do you have any idea how many late night calls Nae and I got, when you were an ass last time?"
"You haven`t exactly been better Sam. And I realized my mistakes. I know what I did was so wrong."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You weren`t there when Addison needed you most."
Sam groaned. "And you were? You were there in New York? In Seattle?" He screamed at him.
"No I wasn`t and I regret that more than anything else but she wasn`t pregnant back then."
Addison looked between them. "Ok, could you both stop screaming!" Addison was mad with both of them. She picked Zola and Milou up.
"Adds. I`m sorry, but he didn`t care for you until he saw us together." Derek tried to apologize his behaviour.
Addison glared at Sam. "Something you wanna say or do you just continue screaming?"
"I actually came here to say congratulations. You`ll be a great mom."
"Thanks."
"I, can I see her?" he asked carefully.
Addison put Zola in Derek's arm and gave him a "don't even start that screaming again" look. She went to Sam and put Milou in his arms. "Her name is Milou."
"She`s beautiful. Just like her mom." He said and smiled at the baby and then at Addison. "I honestly thought you`d call her Carson."
"I wanted to name her Carson, but Derek thought that was a really bad idea. I still like Carson by the way."
"It doesn`t suit Milou." Derek put in and Sam agreed.
Addison smiled. She noticed that Milou was shifting. "Ok, can I leave you two alone, whileen I go upstairs, put Zola in bed and feed Milou?"
"I think it`s better if I go now." Sam said.
"And I can put Zola down for a nap." Derek said.
"Ok. It was good you were here. Any chance you'll come again?`"
"I`ll see you around." He said and kissed Addison`s cheek which Derek didn`t like at all.
Addison smiled and Sam left. "What's going on, Derek?"
"What do you mean?"
Addison went upstairs with Milou, followed by Derek and Zola. "With Sam and that look?"
"There was no look. Now I bring Zola to bed."
"Oh yes, there was so a look! And it wasn't only a look, it was THE LOOK!" Addison sat down in the rocking chair and put Milou softly on her left breast. She sucked up immediately. "Derek!" Addison looked at him. "You gave him THE LOOK! I'm serious!"
Addison told him, when he didn't respond.
"What look?" Derek acted confused. "I didn`t look like anything at Sam."
"Yes, you ... oh God, no I can't you tell about that."
"I think I can consider staying if you tell me."
"It's just ... Nae and Savvy used to say that ... they said you had a look for the guys, who looked at me back in med school and in the beginning of our marriage and they were right. You looked at them like you wanted to eat them alive." Addison gently rocked back and forth with Milou and shifted her over to her right breast.
"I did, didn`t I." He said proudly. "Addie if we really want this to work, Sam has to be out of the picture."
"You so did. Derek, are you really afraid of Sam?"
"I don`t know Addie, it`s just all very new between the two of us and I don`t want Sam in the middle of it."
She looked at him seriously. "Derek, Sam and I ... it wasn't like it was between us. It never was. We were pretty good at being friends in the beginning. Then we came together and we drifted apart really soon. The only thing that kept us together was sex." She spoke the last word really quiet.
"So, is he better in bed than I am?" Derek asked with raised eye brows.
Addison rolled her eyes. "Is that the only thing that is important for you?"
"Well I`d like to know about it."
Addison put Milou away from her breast, mad her burp and put her in bed. She whispered in his ear. "There was never anyone, who made me cum like you do."
"Meredith was never like you either."
Addison smiled and whispered in his ear. "Tell me how I was better."
"Your thing Addie. You have no idea how much I missed this." He whispered secretly.
"Tell me more about it." She whispered.
"Soon, when you`re not sore anymore we can practice a little."
Addison shifted closer. "Oh come on, tell me what you like most."
"You. Naked. Bed."
"Like the sound of it. Oh, and do you remember this time aton the stairs?"
"Do you remember the ferry boat? when we went to Seattle to visit Adele and Richard?"
"Oh God, Adele and Richard MUST have noticed that. I was so ... groggy ..."
"It was great. Maybe we can do that again, sometime." he smirked.
Addison laughed. "Maybe. Oh, when you mention Richard and Adele. I think he'll kill me. I promised him to call him immediately after my child was born."
"Just call them."
"And then he'll kill me again for keeping his best surgeon."
"No he`ll threaten me that if I hurt you again, he`ll kill me."
Addison smiled and picked up the phone. "Ok, convinced." She dialed Richard's number.
It`s been two years since Addison and Derek became a couple again. And they are truly are happy.
Zola was about three by now and Milou two. It was morning and Addison and Derek were still asleep.
Derek soon heard little footsteps running towards their master bedroom and Milou and Zola crawled into their parent's bed.
Addison cuddled closer to Derek.
"Way too early girls." Addison told the two girls.
"Noo." Milou said shaking her head so that her red curles flew.
Addison cuddled her close. "But mommy is still tired."
"Milou not tired."
Addison groaned. "I think daddy will love to read something to you. He's really good at that."
"Addie." He sighed dramatically. "I worked until 3 in the morning. You get up."
Addie sighed and cuddled Zola and Milou close. "So, what do you two wanna read me for you?"
She put Milou on her one and Zola on her other side. Milou looked like the exact image oflike her mother when she was a child.
Derek turned around and put the pillow onto his head so he wouldn`t hear anything. It was way too early.
Addison grinned at her little girls. "So any ideas my beautiful girls. What do you wanna hear?"
"Adam saves Christmas" Zola squeaked delighted.
"Did you bring the book?"
She nodded excitedly. "There you do."
Addison took the book from her and started to read to them.
*** 1 year later ***
"I bet it`s a boy!" Derek said delighted when they went to the 18 week check up.
Addison groaned. "I would say you hope so, right?"
"No, I`m sure it`s a boy. I love my girls but 3 are enough." He kissed her forehead and took her hand.
Addison laughed. "He would break hearts, if he looked like you."
"I know." He smirked. "We Shepherd man have fabulous hair and a fabolous smile."
Addison rolled her eyes. "You're so full of yourself."
"I`m just being honest."
"Or arrogant."
"So let's get started?"
"Sure." Addison took of her shirt. She sat down and squeezed the gel on her belly.
"Ok, tell me how to move the wand." Derek said and took the wand in his hand and guided it toward her small baby bump.
"Ok, come here."
"Ok." Derek moved the wand and only a second later they heard the babys heatbeat.
"There we go. So now a little more right and if we're lucky, we'll see if it is a boy or girl."
"It`s a boy. Trust me." He said smirking.
"A little bit more right."
Addison smiled, because she already saw it. "Do you see it too?"
"Well, I think it`s a boy." He said smiling.
Addison rolled her eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I`m sure!"
"Do you only say so or do you see the sex of the baby?"
"I say so." he laughed.
"Move the monitor a bit nearer."
Derek did as he was told."Now would you finally tell me that I`m right?"
Addison pointed at something, that looked to Derek only like a small spot. "Do you see that?"
"Sure. that`s a small black spot." he laughed.
Addison rolled her eyes. "You really suck at OB/GYN."
"Is that his penis?"
"We will have a little boy, Derek."
"See, I told you." he said and pulled Addison closer to kiss her gently.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Pretty, pretty, pretty please review!