REMEMBER ME REMASTERED
An awfully long authors Note:
After months of writing, brainstorming, scrapping, rewriting and frustrated temper tantrums I've finally finished Remember me version 2!
Now, my problem is that people all seem to want a happy ending for Thane; they want to read stories about a Shepard who defies all odds, cures him of Keprals, defeats the reapers and has little half drell babies with him! But I have to say; though the romance with Thane had a tragic ending… it was a bloody good story just the way it was. It was a good, old fashioned, tragic love story. Which is why perhaps I've had such a hard time writing Remember me… there really isn't much I feel I want to change, there's only things I want to add.
Remember me was always going to have this ending, what I wanted to achieve was a way of making peace with Thanes death as, in my opinion, not enough was made of it if you'd romanced him. So this ending isn't 'happy' per say, but that's not what I'm trying to get here… I'm looking to do a 'peaceful' ending. Wish me luck!
I've tried to make this story as standalone as possible but primarily I'm writing this for the readers of the original remember me. It should be possible for new readers to enjoy this version as well though. I have also tried to keep events relatively faithful to the original remember me story.
On a final note, this story has been written in an entirely different style to the original, as such, I hope it's not too confusing. Standard texts denotes present day / current events while italics are memories & flashbacks. The chapters and indeed, story as a whole will also be considerably shorter but in my opinion I think that when it comes to Remember me, it's the quality of writing that counts, not the quantity. In the original version I was throwing out chapter after chapter without really making the points or getting the emotions I was aiming for.
I know this story is perhaps not what my readers were hoping for or expecting but I am far more satisfied with this version than I ever was with the original and so this is the version I'll be keeping. I hope when it comes down to it, you guys like it anyway. As always I'm open to constructive criticism.
WARNING! As always with my work, this story will contain swearing, violence and adult content!
CHAPTER ONE
"I want it here Mike." Shepard told the man. "Make it a big one."
Mike frowned as he surveyed Shepard's bare back. He was an older man, with lines of experience on his face and grey in his hair. He squinted a little, running his fingers over the tattooist's laser as he tried to visualise what he was going to do. "There's not room for a big one Seryna, you filled it up already…" Came his heavy Londoner accent.
"Find room!" She snapped.
Mike shook his head. "Special one is it?"
Shepard narrowed her eyes at the metal wall ahead of her. "You have no fucking idea."
"Hm… If he was special… why not put it some place special…"
"You're suggesting what exactly?"
Mike eyed that full back tattoo that he'd etched into her skin over the years. It featured a large grim reaper, bent and weeping over a tombstone, the grave taking up most of her back, the spectre's scythe stretching up and over her shoulders. Originally the tombstone had just one precious name 'Johnathan Shepard'.
Over the years however Shepard had sought him out to have new names etched into her skin, sometimes several at once. One name for every person she felt had died because of her. Even after he'd retired he still got messages from her offering large sums of credits to come and add just one more name. It seemed morbid to Mike, but he'd dared not refuse her when she was a skinny little gang girl with a gun and damn good aim, he sure as hell didn't dare to refuse her now that she was a council spectre and a big shot human authority.
He'd agreed to meet her on the citadel this time, right after the coup by Cerberus. He had to be mad… but the money she'd offered was good and though she'd risen in life, he was still confined to the dark under cities of the galaxy. So he'd come.
The moment he saw her he knew this one was different. She'd always been a dark sort of person; that darkness was like a metal mask bolted to her face, never letting anyone in to see the person behind. Today though… there was something wild in her features, some unbridled fury in her green eyes that struck terror into Mike's old heart.
"The name ain't gonna fit on the stone… I could put it on the sythe?" He suggested.
He saw the flicker of a dark smile on her face. "Poetic."
Mike nodded. "Alright… what was the spelling?"
Shepard handed him a data pad with just the name written in the top corner of the screen. 'Thane Krios'.
He nodded and took in the spelling before carefully setting to work etching it in, making each letter large and decorative, making sure the name took up the entire blade of the sythe.
"Friend of yours I take it?" Mike asked as he worked. Sometimes she liked to talk, to tell him something about the person he was adding to her list of dead. It seemed to be almost therapeutic for her.
"No… much more than that." Her voice came out low, that fury struggling on the edge of her tone.
Mike was surprised. He'd known Seryna Shepard since she was a child and never, ever had he heard of a 'more than friend' in her life. But then Shepard seemed to have a bad habit of deliberately staying detached from people, she was so privet why should he be so surprised that he'd not heard of this… attachment? He was just a tattoo artist after all.
"You wanna tell me what happened?" He asked.
She heaved a sigh and Mike paused his work so she could shift a little, leaning forwards and resting her hands on her chin. "He was killed in the coup." She murmured. Mike could've sworn her heard her voice falter, the grief still too near the surface. "A Cerberus agent… took him down."
"You can't blame yourself for that one." Mike mused.
She didn't reply. She just glared at the wall ahead of her. Mike could almost see the murderous fantasy's running passed her eyes. Whoever this agent was he was in deep shit. No one took someone from Shepard without paying for it… no one. Mike guessed that's what made her such a good hero, those that killed her loved ones were usually enemies of the galaxy and Shepard would stop at nothing for vengeance. She was like a destructive force of nature that fate used to cleanse the universe of evil. He couldn't imagine how it was for her… how much she must've suffered to come this far, to have this many names scarred into her skin and her soul. Each person a victim, each person avenged by this… dark angel.
Mike worked hard to make the name more beautiful than the rest. The way she spoke of this 'Thane Krios' the wavering in her voice, he knew she'd accept nothing less.
She threw his outstretched hands away from her body. "What the fuck makes you so special!" She snarled viciously.
Thane was unprovoked by her violent display. He folded his hands behind his back and stood straight, saying nothing but piercing her soul with those fathomless black eyes. It was infuriating.
She pointed a finger in his face, hating herself for crying in front of him, for crying in front of anyone! "I don't need you! I've been to hell and back more times than you can count and I never needed you!" The tears streamed steadily down her cheeks, her eyes were bloodshot and sore.
Thane continued to hold her gaze with a steady calm. "I am not suggesting that you 'need' me Siha." Came the soothing tones of his low voice.
Shepard threw her hands over her ears. She didn't want to hear him. She didn't want that comfort. Everything about him was comforting to her enhanced senses. She'd always been sensitive, drugs in her youth the doctors told her. Then when she joined the alliance and went through their psych evaluations she was told it was more than that. Her brain was wired differently to most peoples. She was sensitive to any stimuli, each of her senses subtly enhanced until it was painful! That's why she always wore her helmet and full armour off the Normandy if she could help it. It blacked out some of that 'background noise', protected her from sounds, smells, bright lights and put a barrier between her and whomever she was dealing with.
But Thane… Thane with his soft silky scales, his bright intricate colours, his soft rumbling voice and the smell of guns and biotics that always surrounded him. He was, in her eyes at least, safety and comfort personified, gently teasing and coaxing each and every one of her overworked senses while offering a steady focus.
She'd been drawn to him from the first day they met. But while Shepard had many talents, social skills was not one of them. Usually she held a gun to people's heads to get what she wanted or to make her point. It worked for her, though she'd earned a few reprimands from the alliance for aggressive behaviour. She'd wanted to avoid Thane but he had a kind of gravitational pull on her. She found some twisted sense of peace just sitting with him in life support talking about whatever he wanted. She should have realised that he was as drawn to her as she was to him. This 'confrontation' was inevitable.
It was her own damn fault for flirting with him in the first place. She didn't know why she had, she'd never said anything even remotely flirtatious to anyone in her life but the words spilled from her lips like second nature, promising him something she didn't have the strength left to give.
But Thane wasn't up in her cabin looking for something to take. No what he had in mind was much, much worse. He wanted to give! He was offering her all the comfort she could take from him, in all the time he had left to give it!
Her mind spun. She felt sick. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping he would just vanish and leave her alone to deal with this… overload.
She felt his hands on her upper arms. There was so much strength in his grip yet he handled her as if she were made of glass, carefully turning her in his arms so she could bury her face into the side of his neck, indulging in the warmth of his skin, the feel of his stronger muscles under his scales and that smooth scent that was distinctly Thane.
"Garrus told me about the message you received from Councillor Anderson." He said gently. "I understand your friends are in grave danger. I came in the hopes of comforting you Siha, not because you need it, but because I thought you might want it." One of his strong arms held her shoulders, the other ran up so his hand could tangle in her hair, holding her too him.
If Shepard had been in a better state she might have been furious at Garrus for talking to Thane about her privet business. As the assassin began to emit a low purring sound from somewhere in his chest, a sound that vibrated through him and into her, soothing her tired form, she could not find it in her to hate her turian friend.
"I do not fully understand why…" Thane said as he gently pulled away from her to look down into her face. "But you told me that my body brings your peace. You may have it as you please."
Shepard shook her head and drew away from him, her emotions settling somewhat from his embrace. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I just need to find Amy and Carter." She said firmly. "There will be no peace for me until they're safe." She turned her back to him and picked up the data pad from her desk, the note from Anderson glaring up at her from the orange screen.
"If that's what you want. Shepard…" He drew close to her again; she could feel him at her back. "Whatever you decide to do, I would like to go with you. You saved Kolyat; it's fitting that I should return the favour."
Shepard turned sharply. "Is that why you've come up here? Because you feel obliged to 'return the favour' in some way?!" She couldn't keep the anger from her tone, no matter how she tried. Anger was in her nature.
Calm as always, Thane shook his head.
"Out of pity then?! I don't need pity Thane."
He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "No Siha." He said simply. He lowered his hands again and drew closer, so there was barely an inch between them. "You 'sleep' Shepard." One of his hands came up to brush along her jaw. "I know the pain you suffer perhaps better than anyone on this ship." He spoke firmly now, daring her to deny it. He leaned down, brushing his lips against her cheek before murmuring into her ear. "I will wake you."