A House Undivided

"Kelly," Boden addressed the Squad lieutenant who was walking up the driveway to the apparatus floor.

"Chief?"

Other than Boden, the floor was empty, everybody else was either already inside or they hadn't shown up yet. And maybe it was the lack of anybody else around, but Severide had an ominous feeling about whatever it was the battalion chief was about to say, though he had no idea what it was going to be.

"I heard about Heather and the boys," Wallace told Severide.

Everybody at 51 was coming to terms with the fact that Andy Darden's widow and sons were leaving Chicago, and not expected to return, looking for a new start, a new life, new possibilities, somewhere but anywhere away from the city where Andy had died. They were all taking the news hard, though Severide was sure, none of them more than him. Andy had been his best friend for 30 years, he'd been, or he thought he'd been, closer to Darden's family than anyone else in the station house.

"They left last night," Kelly said.

Boden nodded silently, then stared him down and said bluntly, "Whatever the issues have been between you and Casey that have caused the animosity in this House over the past year cannot be allowed to continue."

"They won't." Kelly wasn't even aware of any currently existing issues, and for a minute he wasn't sure he even knew what Boden was talking about.

"Make sure they don't," Wallace said warningly. "Because if they do, I will take no pleasure in breaking up the structure of this House's family-"

"Chief?" Kelly wasn't sure he'd heard right.

"But I am going to put the House first, and if I have to transfer somebody out of 51 to keep the peace around here, I will," Boden explained perfectly clear.

Kelly's eyes were wide in shock at this revelation.

"Understood, Chief," he blinked, not sure what else to say.

"Whatever's going on between you and Casey, clear it up this time, no excuses," Boden warned him.

Kelly nodded, "I will."

After Boden headed to his office, Kelly was left there in the middle of the floor, with an unsteady feeling coursing through his body as the chief's words resonated in his head. He was only faintly aware of a shaking sensation in his legs as the thought of somebody, and he knew there were only two possibilities for that, being transferred to another House. Such a thought had never occurred to him before, and it left him with an icy feeling running down his spine.

Kelly knocked on the door to Casey's quarters, where he could see the blonde lieutenant writing up an incident report for the last call they'd responded to. Casey turned his head at the sound as Kelly opened the door and stepped inside.

"Can we talk?" he asked, already dreading the direction this conversation was going to take and could take.

Casey didn't seem to have any idea what was going on and merely shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. What about?"

Kelly shut the door behind him and stepped over to Casey's bunk and sat on the edge of it as he thought about what he was going to say.

"I feel like I'm walking on eggshells," he told Matt.

That must've resonated something for Casey, because his response was a simple, "How do you think I feel?"

Kelly sighed as he chose his next words carefully, not wanting to get into it with Casey again.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have blamed you for Andy's death...I know there wasn't anything you could've done."

"Gee, didn't someone try telling you that for months?" Casey sniped.

"Casey-"

Matt turned in his chair and looked at the Squad lieutenant and responded, "I know, that wasn't called for. I know you had your own issues you were going through back then."

Kelly looked down towards his boots, suddenly feeling all of about one inch tall. His own words rang in his ears every day, at night when he was trying to sleep, the things he'd accused Casey of, with Andy, with Heather, he wouldn't publicly admit it but he was ashamed of how he'd acted, and it haunted him constantly. There were times he would swear he could feel Casey's eyes watching him, wondering what was going through the Truck lieutenant's head, and afraid he could guess only too well.

"I know it doesn't matter how many times I say I'm sorry, I can't take back what I said to you," he told Matt, finally looking up towards him again. "I wish I could."

Now it was Casey's turn to glance towards the floor in discomfort at the direction the conversation was going.

Kelly shook his head and told Casey, "I feel horrible about what I did, Casey."

Casey inhaled a sigh and responded, "I know..." He stood up from his desk and took two steps over towards the bunk and told Kelly, "Every once in a while I remember that car accident we responded to a while back, two girls, one dies, one lives, because one drives, one rides in the passenger seat. No rhyme or reason, no possible way to know, or to plan what was going to happen. I went home and told Hallie 'let's just start again and throw away any old expectations'. What if we do the same?"

Kelly looked at him curiously.

"What if..." Casey paused as he thought about it. He shook his head and sat down on the edge of the bed beside Severide. "I'm not going to pretend you accusing me of killing Andy didn't hurt...but I don't want you feeling guilty about it for the rest of your life. You don't deserve that anymore than I do for not being able to save him. So...what if from here on...we just agree to never talk about this again...about that day...about what was going on with Heather...and just go on from here?"

Kelly felt his eyes stinging as the conversation started to become overwhelming to him. "Can we do that?"

"I'm willing to try it if you are," Casey said.

Kelly stared him in the eyes for a few seconds before slightly nodding and responding, "I am."

Casey looked at him and said nothing, the look in his eyes was unreadable but Kelly didn't detect any ill-will in them.

"Can I say something?" he probed.

"Sure," Casey answered.

"I..." Kelly inhaled, sighed, then suddenly reached over and hugged Casey, "I love you, Casey, even when I'm being an idiot and don't act like it, I want to make sure you know that."

Casey didn't move or say anything for a minute. He finally reached his arms around Kelly's back in return and told him, "I love you too, Kelly, even when you're being an idiot."

Kelly chuckled at that, this his demeanor became more serious.

"I'm sorry, Casey."

"It's alright, we're not gonna talk about it anymore."

From Casey's side, their hug got bone crushingly tighter.

"So are we good?" Kelly asked, hopefully.

"Yeah," Casey answered, "we're good."

Kelly felt Casey's body jerk against his but didn't think anything of it.

"And I suppose the rest of 51 can take a collective sigh of relief," Casey added.

"Boden told you too?" Kelly asked.

"No, told me what?" Casey asked with a clueless look on his face.

"He..." now Kelly was confused. "He said if we didn't stop going at each other's throats, he was going to transfer one of us out. Why'd you say that then?"

Casey pulled one arm back from Kelly and extended an index finger behind Severide. Kelly turned questioningly and saw their crews from Truck and Squad standing at the windows to Casey's office, all of whom seemed to be giving their sign of approval through beaming grins and several thumbs up and 'OK' gestures.

Kelly squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in Casey's shoulder in embarrassment. Casey just laughed.