The Birthday duet

Note: the usual disclaimers apply. Don't own anything. All characters and recognizable contents belong to their respective owners.

My first fanfic ever. Happy birthday Deano and Jess.

Dean woke up in the morning and found Sam still sleeping if rather restlessly. Good ! Dean thought. The kid needed his sleep. A restless sleep was better than no sleep at all. Ever since Jess's death two months ago, Sam has been constantly plagued with nightmares. He wakes up screaming her name... blaming himself for not being able to protect her ...to save her from this horrific death. Sam hasn't said this outloud but Dean can see this in the kid's eyes. Even Sam's subconscious won't leave him alone...the guilt is eating at him leading to sleepless nights and hugh dark circles under his eyes.

Dean knows that its the demon who is responsible for ruining their life... for his mom's death ...for Jess's death ...for their solitary childhood ...constantly moving from one place to another ...never forging any real connection ...never laying any real roots.

But Sam, he got away. He created a life for himself ...a life away from the nightmares ...away from hunting ...away from evil. He found love in Jess and a home with her in Palo Alto and company with his friends and colleagues at Stanford.

But happiness never lasts for the Winchesters. The demon found Sam, took Jess away from him and led him on this never ending path of revenge ... The same path that their dad followed... the same path that resulted in this life that the Winchesters lead.

Dean shook his head of these rather depressing thoughts first thing in the morning and got out of bed without making any noise so as not to disturb Sam. He knows that Sam's a morning person and won't be asleep for long so he decided to forgo shower in favour of getting coffee and breakfast for them both. He writes a quick note letting Sam know where he will be in case he woke up and found the room empty and leaves the room.

When Dean walks back into the motel room two cups of coffee in one hand and two bags of diner breakfast already stained with greese in the other, he hears Sam's sniffling in his bed. At first he thinks that Sam is having another nightmare and decides to wake him up.

He goes to Sam's bedside and sits at the edge of the bed and gently puts in hand on Sam's back and whispers softly.

"Hey Sammy ... It's alright ...it's just a nightmare... it's not real...wake up buddy."

Sam's body tensed when a hand touched his back and relaxed immediately when he heard Dean's soothing voice.

He turns to face Dean and Dean's attention is immediately drawn to Sam's red rimmed eyes. The kid looked like he had been crying. Another nightmare Dean thought.

Not expecting an answer but still worried Dean asked, "want to talk about it?"

Sam was silent for a long time and when Dean tried to get up from the bed, Sam said softly... so softly that had Dean not been by his side he would have certainly missed it.

"I was going to propose her" after another second he added more softly "tonight".

Dean's heart pained for his brother and outloud he wondered "Why tonight?"

Sam answered as though he was in a daze, "it's her birthday today. I was going to take her out to this restaurant that she loved, we were going to have a great time and then when she least expected it, I was going to get down on one knee and ask her to marry me" he said as though he was imagining the moment right now.

Dean who was absently running his fingers through Sam's hair said, "She would have said Yes, you know that right?"

"You think?" , Sam asked , a ghost of a smile playing on his chapped lips.

"Yes man. Definitely." Dean said with confidence."she loved you."

"Yeah." Sam replies sadly.

"You know I saved for months to buy her that ring. It burned away along with Jess and the rest of our future." Then coming to himself he adds , "After she said Yes, I was going to call you to let you know that I was engaged and to wish you and to ask you if you would be my Best man at the wedding."

Dean's hand freezes in Sam's hair at that admission. Sam looks in his eyes to see that Dean's eyes are moist and Dean asks in a shaky voice "You wanted me be your best man?"

Sam's reply is instantaneous without any hesitation." Yes man. There is no one I would rather have by my side."

"Not even your friends from Stanford?"

"No!" Sam replies firmly.

"OK" Dean says a fond smile tugging at his lips. Sam answering smile is blinding. Dean hadn't seen Sam smile in a long time. He likes a smiling Sam.

Breaking the moment Dean says, "I think that's enough chick-flick for today. Now get up before your girly coffee gets cold."

Sam huff out loud and says, "just because you drink that black tar you call coffee, doesn't mean we all should."

"Real men drink their coffee just like that Sammy and princesses like you drink that sweet milky excuse for coffee."

Sam flips him off and makes a great show of enjoying his coffee.

No matter what Dean says or how much fun he makes of Sam's coffee, he will always bring Sam his coffee just the way he likes it. Sam loves this about Dean. He missed his brother so much at Stanford.

Dean suddenly asks, "Hey Sammy, you said you were going to wish me. Why?"

"It's your birthday too today Dean. I know we don't make a big deal out of birthdays but I always remember your birthday even when I was at Stanford... even when we weren't talking this past two years."

Dean's reply is a soft nod.

They finish their breakfast and Dean gets up and calls first shower throwing the thrash from their breakfast on his way to the bathroom.

Sam calls his name just as he is about to enter the bathroom and says, "Happy birthday man."

"Thanks Sammy". And after a moment he adds "you know that I remember your birthday too right? Wherever you are and no matter the circumstance, I always do."

"Yeah, I do Dean" he replies with a smile matching Dean's own smile.

"Hey Dean, would you like to go out tonight? Celebrate your birthday... have a couple of beers...I will even go easy on you when we play pool" Sam asked teasingly.

"Easy my ass ...did you forget who taught you how to play pool. You are on buddy. Get ready to lose." Dean was just glad that Sam seemed better now than when he woke up. He would do anything to keep the smile on his brother's face even lose at pool.

"Now can I go shower bitch"

"Yeah yeah go on Jerk"

Talking to Dean has always helped Sam. Dean's calming presence...his influence on Sam has always helped him. Sam just hopes that with Dean's help he could learn to live without Jess in his life.

He knows that Jess would want him to be happy. He will start with trying to be happy today...for Jess ...for Dean and take it one day at a time.

Losing Jess has this effect on him. He can't even imagine what losing Dean would do him.

He shudders at that thought.

He can't imagine a life without his brother by his side.

Breaking that line of thought he calls after his brother "don't use all the hot water."

"I can't hear you Sammy over this awesome hot water" is Dean's only reply.

Sam just smiles to himself knowing full well that Dean always keeps enough water for him.

That's how awesome and loving and caring his big brother is.

They never say I love you in so many not the Winchester way. But they make sure the other knows that they are loved by doing these little things that no one else would. Like leaving hot water for each other...by bringing Sam's favourite coffee or by listening to Dean's crappy music until your ears bleed without complaining... well a little complaining... That's a little brothers right after all. And Sam intends to utilise that right to the fullest, he thinks smilingly.

THE END.