It was a bright summer morning in Jump City.
Men and women were leaving for work, children were running outside to go play, and on a small island just off the shore, superheroes were vigilantly protecting the city's peace.
Truly an idyllic scene safe for the entire family.
"Look, Robin, all I'm saying is that Tamaranians must keep their vital organs in their boobs, because there's NO WAY any human girl could have a waistline like Starfire's!"
At Cyborg's analysis, Robin had no idea whether to be embarrassed, mortified, angry, or aroused. He managed to express them all at the same time, and yet none of them. That's how ninja Robin was.
"I'll be in the training room, if anyone needs me..." Was the only thing he could manage before storming out of the main room as quickly as possible.
Cyborg waited until Robin was completely out of earshot before he broke into a wild fit of laughter from getting his teammate so good.
"You are hardly in any position to laugh, Cyborg," Raven said, entering the main room from the front door, "Jinx was something of a stick herself, wasn't she?" The empath did not wait for a reply as she moved past him in search of her morning tea. Her words stopped his laughter immediately and her looked at her thoughtfully, as if carefully thinking about his friend's feelings.
Cyborg nodded apologetically. "You're right Raven. I'd be a hypocrite unless I dated women who had more meat on their bones." He tapped his chin in thought. "What are you doing this Friday?"
Damn, he was on a roll this morning. Raven only glared at him before taking her tea and heading up to her room. He chuckled a little, knowing full well he'd get his ass kicked later for the dig. However, Cyborg figured that Raven returning back to Titan's Tower this early in the morning meant she was either extremely tired from a night patrol, or massively hungover.
Either way, he was safe until at least the afternoon.
He plopped down in front of the couch and picked up a video game controller. Before he could start, though, a very disheveled green-skinned boy fell onto the couch beside him.
"Hey Beast Boy."
"Urgh..." Beast Boy groaned, trying to rub the deep bags under his eyes away. "What... day is it?" "Sunday." Cyborg informed. "What have you and Raven been up to?" He asked. Beast Boy picked up a controller and joined Cyborg's game. "Patrol." He answered. "Bullshit, dude. What were you really up to?" Cyborg countered. Beast Boy hardly had the energy to argue, so he replied, "We went on another date. It went... pretty well, from what I can remember." Ah, hungover then, Cyborg concluded.
"So what were you and Robin talking about?" Beast Boy asked.
"Starfire." Cyborg answered. "Oh... have you noticed she has a freaky waist?" Beast Boy asked. "I know, right?" Cyborg replied. There was some silence between the two as they continued their game. After a time, Beast Boy finally asked, "And what about Bumblebee?" "What about her?" "How many black girls have you met with an ass that small?" Beast Boy asked. Cyborg initially was going to say about whether or not that last question was racist, but he had to admit- he couldn't think of any. "Huh." Cyborg replied.
"Man, Glen Murakami doesn't know shit about anatomy."
"Well yeah... she's still hot, though." Cyborg defended. "Oh, hell yeah." Beast Boy agreed. They high-fived, and returned to their game. "Wait..." Beast Boy said, suddenly getting the feeling that he was about to be in serious trouble, like a strong disturbance in the force.
He turned around to see four red eyes set upon him.
"What about Bumblebee, Beast Boy?" She asked. Raven was still hungover, but she intended to bring that pain back tenfold. "Well..." Beast Boy began, trying to think of a good answer. "I haven't forgotten about you, Cyborg!" She said demonically. Cyborg had been attempting to escape while she was distracted. Didn't work.
Cyborg gulped in fear. He was about to be eaten by pissed off hungover girl.
He wished he could say that he hadn't expected something like that happening anyway.