All that I'm living for,

Charlie was so upset. When he found out that I had "died." I'd tried to drown myself, but some other vampire saved me, and turned me.
All that I'm dying for,

I wanted to die for Edward, who didn't love me anymore.
All that I can't ignore alone at night.

My past comes back to haunt me, when everyone else is asleep. And I can't, because I am now a vampire.

I can feel the night beginning.

It was twilight again.
Separate me from the living.

I am the undead, and cannot sleep.
Understanding me,
After all I've seen.

My past comes back to haunt me, when everyone is asleep. From the first time I saw Edward. To James. To Victoria. Charlie. Renee. Angela.
Piecing every thought together,

I try not to think about it, but alone at night, it keeps me there, wrapped tight, in a blanket of guilty thoughts.
Find the words to make me better.

Nothing will ever be able to heal me.
If I only knew how to pull myself apart.

Then it would be my fault some more, and I'd be dead.

All that I'm living for,

What I lived for, was all gone. Edward. Charlie, Renee, the Cullens.
All that I'm dying for,

Everyone one in the same.
All that I can't ignore alone at night.

I can't ignore these thoughts.
All that I'm wanted for,

Victoria is still on the loose. Still after me, for James dying.
Although I wanted more.

I don't mind her catching up to me. To kill me, without a single thought. She's not found me.
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

This is Edward's voice, still talking to me, my last sense of self-preservation. Victoria is almost here.

I believe that dreams are sacred.
Take my darkest fears and play them
Like a lullaby,

I hear my lullaby, mocking me, through the night.

Like a reason why, Like a play of my obsessions,

My lullaby plays over and over again, mocking me, that I still love Edward. But that he won't ever come back to me.
Make me understand the lesson,
So I'll find myself,
So I won't be lost again.

I want to be lost, but there is Edward's voice again.

All that I'm living for,

What I lived for, was all gone. Edward. Charlie, Renee, the Cullens.
All that I'm dying for,

Everyone one in the same.
All that I can't ignore alone at night.

I can't ignore these thoughts.
All that I'm wanted for,

She is still after me.
Although I wanted more.

I wish she could bring death.
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

My last bit of self preservation. It's a haunting lullaby in itself.

Guess I thought I'd have to change the world to make you see me,

I thought you'd come back to me eventually.
To be the one.

That you love.
I could have run forever,

Try to cry a river.
But how far would I have come
Without mourning your love?

Without breaking down, into dry sobs?

All that I'm living for,

What I lived for, was all gone. Edward. Charlie, Renee, the Cullens.
All that I'm dying for,

Everyone one in the same.
All that I can't ignore alone at night.

I can't ignore these thoughts.
All that I'm wanted for,

She is still after me.
Although I wanted more.

I wish she could bring death.
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

My last bit of self preservation. It's a haunting lullaby in itself.

Should it hurt to love you?

Like it does?
Should I feel like I do?

And still be in love with you?
Should I lock the last open door,

Or let Victoria get me. Rub it in Edward's face, that there is no sense of self preservation anymore, left in me?
My ghosts are gaining on me.

My self preservation does have power over me, but I will try to let Victoria kill me.