Dib Is Sick

by PAT THE KITSUNE

Confined to his bed, Dib finds comfort in the one being he never expected to be there for him. When his condition takes a turn for the worse, however, he must come to terms with his feelings for his old foe in order to defeat this new foe inside him. ZADR

1. Chapter 1

A/N: What is this? A new fic? o3o Yes. It's true. I've begun another one, this time with Sassafrass002 though. Now, don't start freaking out, people. I haven't forgotten about ZO. I'm just waiting for school to start back up again before I resume posting. (I start Tuesday and plan to update on my days off: Wednesdays and Fridays) So just be patient. This new fic, however, I'm hoping to keep updated as the updates come on DA. We just posted the first chapter there, so here's the first chapter for here. Unlike ZO, I may NOT actually answer reviews this time around though. As much as we appreciate them, I just don't have the time to constantly be answering them. So unless one of you asks a question or something, don't expect me to reply back in the actual body of the story. I'd like to be able to just come on here and update quickly. That's not to say I'll stop responding to reviews on ZO. Only this story will be without that feature, unless Sass feels like coming on here to respond to you guys herself (something I highly doubt given how busy she is.) So just keep in mind that we really appreciate your guys' comments, even if we don't necessarily always respond back. That said, allow me to go ahead and get this first chapter posted. =3

Dib Is Sick Chapter 1: Gay?

Zim: Sassafrass002

Dib: Me

Beta: Invader-Ara

Warnings: EXTREME OOCness!

Rating: M for later chapters.

Disclaimer: We do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. We do not make any money from the writing of this story.

A cough filled the silence, then another one, and another as Dib fought to gain back control. He'd been sick for well over a week now and out of school long enough for a certain someone to notice his absence. But he didn't care. All he wanted to do was sleep. Sleep until he felt a little less like he was going to die. Easier said than done when he couldn't stop coughing.

Letting out a groan, he turned over onto his side in his bed. "I hate being sick." he grumbled into his pillow as he cuddled up with an oddly familiar looking alien doll. He had come across it a few days before he had fallen sick. An old Zim doll he had made a few years back when attempting to use his knowledge of the paranormal as a means of defeating Zim. To say the very least, his attempts at creating a successful voodoo doll had failed. But he kept the doll despite. Something about it was soothing to him and he hugged it close as a sort of security blanket now.

Meanwhile, a few blocks down the street, a certain green alien trudged his way to Dib's house, dragging along his idiot sidekick, Gir.

"Hurry up, Gir. We haven't got all day." he said as he moodily made his way onto Membrane property, more than a little annoyed that Dib had been out of skool for so long now. Exactly what was the human plotting anyways? There must be some reason he had missed so much school the past week and a half!

Making his way to right beneath the human's window, he ordered Gir to give him a lift so he could see for himself what the human had been doing this whole time. Plotting against him, surely.

Activating the jets in his legs, the disguised android waited for Zim to climb aboard before ascending to the window connected to Dib's room.

"Alright, Gir. Stop." Zim said, once they were high enough for him to get a good look inside of the boy's room. He pressed his hands and face up to the window, peering inside and almost instantly locating the Dib-monkey.

"Eh? Sleeping?" he gazed at the form in bed that could only be Dib. But why would the human be sleeping when he was quite obviously plotting this planet's downfall? Pressing just a little bit closer, he squinted his eyes to see inside the room better. The human was surrounded by magazines, tissue boxes, and what looked to be...a replica of him?

Zim pulled away from the window momentarily to rub his eyes before looking back in.

Dib shifted, hugging the Zim doll closer.

What kind of trick was this? Who was the human trying to fool? Only ONE Zim could exist and he didn't understand why the human was getting so comfortable with this fake!

"DIB-MONKEY! GIVE HUGS TO THE REAL ZIM! Not this pathetic fake Zim!"

Snapping awake, Dib just about swallowed his own tongue before looking out the window at where the voice had come from. "Where did you come from?" he asked, sitting up in the bed to stare at the floating Irken outside of his bedroom window.

"I was...Ummm...Uh..."

"HE WUZ WATCHIN YOU FROM THE WINDOWS!"

Dib sent the Irken an annoyed look at Gir's outburst. "So you mean you were stalking me..." he said, not finding that nearly as surprising as he probably should have.

"YEAH!'

Zim's face instantly turned from disgusted to frantic when Gir said that. "Nooo! Zim was not stalking you! Zim was watching you!" he protested, going to push open the window so both he and Gir could climb into the room. No point hovering outside when the human had already seen them, after all.

Picking up the Zim doll from the floor, Gir held it up for Zim to see. "Hey, Mastah! I found a lil you! I'm gonna call him squishy!" The disguised android hugged the doll close.

Grabbing the Zim doll from Gir, Dib blushed and hid it under his pillow before pulling the covers up over his head. "Watching and stalking are the same thing!" he yelled from beneath the covers.

"Are not! There is a HUGE difference! So huge it is! And you should be honored that ZIM would watch you...Hey...Why do you have a replica of me, anyhow?"

Stiffening up at that question, Dib pulled the doll under the blanket with him before then hiding under the pillow he had previously been keeping it under. "I...don't know what you're talking about..." he said, so horribly embarrassed that Zim had caught him cuddling that doll.

"Yes, you do! You're hiding it under the covers!" Zim sat on Dib and rummaged around for it. "Where is it?" he demanded when he couldn't locate it on his own.

Dib clutched it to his chest where Zim couldn't get it. "Get off of me!" he tried to buck Zim off but the other wouldn't budge.

"C'mon, Dib-Monkey! Gimme! Give it to Zim!"

Professor Membrane walked in right as Zim said that.

Making a cheerful squeak, Gir pointed at the professor, causing both Zim and Dib to turn around and look at him, horrified.

"Dad! It's not what you think!" Dib pushed Zim off of him and onto the ground.

"Hey!" Zim pouted up at Dib.

"Ah...Umm...Okay then, son. I see you've brought your little foreign friend over and are...Umm...Playing some kind of game. Well, call me if you need anything." the professor said before walking away, looking worried.

Dib stared after him with a still horrified look on his face before bringing his hands up to hide his face in.

Zim, meanwhile, pointed angrily at Dib. "Why did you push Zim onto the floor?" he demanded, still pouting up at the other.

"I told you to get off of me! Now my dad probably thinks I'm gay because of you, you jerk!" Dib hid his face away in a pillow.

"...Gay?... What is this "gay" of which you speak? Tell to Zim!"

Dib flushed a deep red color. "Are you kidding me? You really don't know what gay means?" he said before noticing the blank look on Zim's face. "It's when two guys like each other, okay?" he said before returning to hiding his face in his pillow.

"...That's it?...But you clearly like Zim as you have a doll of me! Therefore you must be 'gay'" he nodded. "Gay for ZIM!"

Dib flushed an even darker shade of red. "That's a lie! I don't like you! In fact, I hate you! I hate everything about you! And besides, I don't mean "like" like THAT! I mean "like" as in two guys wanting to sleep together, which I would NEVER do with you...Or anyone for that matter!"

Zim gasped. "You mean that DISGUSTING thing that those humans did in that sex ed video Ms. Bitters showed the class? But with just men?" he shuddered. "Zim would NEVER let YOU do such things to him!"

"Yes, you idiot! And why would I want to do any of THAT to YOU?" Dib shuddered himself. "I can't even stand being in the same room with you for more than a minute!"

"But you're in the same room with mini-Zim here." Zim said, holding up the plushie that he got when Dib wasn't looking. "So you must like Zim."

"Hey! Give that back!" Dib grabbed it from Zim, his face on fire. "It's...Ummm...It's a voodoo doll! I poke at it with needles in hopes that your insides will burst...or something..." he hid it back under his pillow. "I don't like you...You piss me off whenever I'm anywhere near you..." he said before turning over in bed so he was no longer facing Zim, a pout on his face.

"VOODOOO? Nooo! Zim does not want his insides to explode!" he exclaimed, getting all panicky but then pausing suddenly. "Hey...Why have you gone all red, Dib-stink?"

"Because I'm sick, moron!" Dib snapped, getting frustrated with all of Zim's questions and hiding under the covers.

"But you weren't as red before!" Zim said, getting near Dib to try and see his face better. "Now you look worse! You must be really sick!" he said, an almost worried look coming to his face.

A/N: And there you have it. Like ZO, these chapters will be fairly short. This first one, however, is a bit longer due to the intro I had to come up with for it. Future chapters will be much shorter. So don't expect much from us in the length department. I can assure you all though that this is a fairly long RP. Been working on it since 2009. So you can at least expect this to be a fairly long story that's full of fluff and humor. We don't want to receive any negative comments about how OOC both Zim and Dib are in this story. We already know they are. To our defense, this story is supposed to be OOC. Preserves the cuteness we were going for in it. Any and all negative comments we get WILL be flagged as spam. So if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. We're not looking for criticism either. This story is written purely for fun. So don't even bother trying to offer advice on any of it. We're not going to change things just because one of you doesn't like it. That said, we leave you with this first chapter of Dib Is Sick. For more information on what sparked this RP, please see my profile page as I'll have a link both to the picture that inspired us to write this as well as the preview image Sass made for Chapter 1. We hope you all enjoy. ^^