Disclaimer: This is a terrible tale that should never be told. This day mare was started by seeds from angsty fanfiction writers. (Jim hooking up with someone & Pam blamed for not being able to see or fix her life) The concept has stuck in my brain, and has eaten at my soul. I would much rather write happy fluff but I need to try to purge this bile from my system. I feel like I am vomiting up pain with each chapter I type. I want to explore how each one of these characters is living in their own self-made hell. I feel sympathy for the destruction of their hearts. They do vile things in hopes to reclaim a sense of peace. I am not sure they will be able to find their way back to each other...though I am really hoping for that! So be warned, ICKNESS AHEAD...

When Soul mates Betray

Chapter 1
Fate loves to fuck with destiny. Destiny is the path people glide on throughout their lives. Fate is what comes in and knocks them off the path just for the fun of it. A person is heading down a path comes to a corner. They make a choice at the intersection of life. A choice they are pretty sure leads them to where they want to be. This is where fate comes in and sets up a few unseen occurrences and decisions by others that alter our course and changes our lives.

Pam was anxiously awaiting Jim's return for Australia. She couldn't wait to see him! Pam couldn't wait to tell him. Couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he found out she was free. That after he had left she realized she could never be happy with Roy. She broke it off with Roy two hours after Jim left the country. She had called his mother to try to reach him, but he hadn't left any contact numbers. That was okay. Besides this was definitely not something to do over the phone. It would be so much better face to face. As she was awaiting Jim's return she got her life in order. She reapplied for the intern program. Pam opened a checking and savings account in her name. She was quite busy. Pam got rid of all reminders of Roy. Pam started to become Pam for the first time in years.

She had a clean slate and she was finally ready for Jim. After some soul searching, she realized she had lied to herself so long that almost she believed it. She had never loved anyone the way she loved Jim. He was her soul mate. She had put him through hell but she was going to make it up to him and herself.

Pam was so nervous sitting in her car waiting outside the address he had given her. He was returning this very evening. She could hardly sit still. Finally, she got out of her car and sat on his steps tapping her foot to the music coming from an open window. It was getting dark but it was a beautiful night. Pam smiled and felt like she was seeing in color for the first time. Her life was just beginning. She couldn't wait to jump into his arms.

Ohhhh! There's his car. She was jumping out of her skin with anticipation. Pam blinked to clear her vision but she still saw a woman in his car. After he parked, the woman leaned over and to give him a big kiss. Not a friend kiss but a lover's sexy kiss full of promise. Pam's sight was blurry now. She blinked again because somehow her eyes were filled with water and she was having trouble seeing. They broke the kiss and got out of the car laughing with happiness. A stab of pain went through her heart. NO! This can't be happening!

But the nightmare continued. Pam would have liked to been able to slip away or to compose herself but her car was only a few feet from his on the opposite side of the street. She tried to wipe her tears away and to put on a mask of indifference but that was just not possible. Pain was slicing through her with every breath she took. Jim had grabbed two suitcases from the backseat and was teasing his companion.

He reached the foot of the steps and look up. He thought he was seeing things because Pam was there. She was standing right there on his stairs. Jim dropped the suitcases in shock. Cindy, instantly materialize next to him and attached herself to his arm clearly staking her claim. Jim just stared open mouthed and confused as to why Pam was standing on his stairs. She should be with Roy living her happily ever after.

Pam opened her mouth and tried to say something. Nothing much would come out but the tears slide down her face betraying her. Quickly, she wiped her tears. She had to escape with her dignity if that was at all possible. She needed to say something and beat a path back home immediately. "Welcome home."

Jim didn't know what to say other there the oblivious. "Where's Roy?" Cindy didn't like that he didn't introduce her.

"Hi, I'm Cindy." She had a thick Australian accent, beautiful blonde hair and a killer body. Cindy towered over Pam with her model-like height.

Pam clutched the hand that was outstretched and shook it. "Hi, I'm Pam."

Cindy quickly returned her arm to Jim's to lock him to her. "Oh, yes. Jim mentioned you. Weren't you getting married?" Her voice dripped with nasty nice venom.

Pam was feeling ill. She needed to get out of here. "Yeah. Well, it's late and you guys are probably tired. Nice to have met you, Cindy. Good bye, Jim." Where the strength came to stand upright was beyond her. She walked normally to the car and it wasn't until she drove around the block that she pulled over and threw up. She sat there and sobbed for 30 minutes.

The thoughts of confusion swirled in her head. How could he have hooked up with her? He loved me. He couldn't have loved me and gotten over me so quickly. Fuck him! I don't need him. I am going to die without him. I threw everything away for him. It was for the dream of him because he must be an asshole. Argghhhh! Screams of her frustration caused several porch lights to be turned on. This chased her from his neighborhood.

Jim wasn't sure what just happened. It was as if the fantasy of the last two weeks vanished. Pam's appearance lifted the veil that the cloaked truth into a livable reality. He had convinced himself with the very persuasive help of Cindy that he was over Pam and was moving on. He tried not to make comparisons between Cindy and Pam but they were inevitable. However, Cindy was so different from Pam; it was not difficult to pretend that Cindy could make him happy.

In truth, Cindy numbed the pain. Cindy was there that night in the bar that happened to be Pam's wedding day. He tried to drink his love for Pam away. Cindy had listened and given him a shoulder to cry on as she guided him towards her bed. He didn't remember that night at all. Cindy gushed about it. She spent as much time with him over the next two weeks as she could. Jim enjoyed the attention of this beautiful woman and so he let things progress much quicker than they would have normally. Somehow 31 hours ago Cindy had decided she and Jim were destined to be together. She picked up her life and shipped it to Stamford. Jim hesitantly agreed that she could stay with him until she found a place. It started not to feel right but things were already set in motion.

Seeing Pam on his staircase obliviously awaiting his return made his stomach do unwanted flips. It was baffling that Roy would have let her make the drive to welcome him home. It just didn't make sense. The jetlag had set in. He hadn't slept in 35 hours. His mind stopped functioning. Jim tried to make Cindy feel welcome but then quickly went to sleep.

Pam didn't know what to do now that her plans no longer made sense. She beyond devastated. There was no more "normal" in her life. There was nothing and nobody. How did this happen? Over and over the same question chased around her mind, how could he have done this? But bottom-line, it didn't really mattered how it got this way, it was how things were. Jim had a girlfriend. He obliviously didn't love Pam. It was funny but after his kiss, that touched her soul, there was no way she could have let anyone touch her, especially not Roy. Since the kiss she could not have envisioned anyone but Jim touching her. The fact that he could let someone else touch him, kiss him or make love to him other than her sicken her. Her respect for him fell. His betrayal cut into her soul. It wounded her so deeply she didn't think the hole in her heart would ever heal. But she had to go on. He certainly had.

Jim awoke up to the beeping of his alarm clock. Where was he? He heard someone next to him mutter to, "Turn that fucking thing off." He did as requested without thinking of her foul mouth. He looked around. Oh yes, he was in Stamford in his new apartment with his new girlfriend starting his new job today. He pulled himself out of bed and into the shower. Jim tried to refuse to acknowledge the face he kept seeing in front of him. But that was completely impossible. Why had Pam come here? Why was she crying? Why? No answers were coming.

He phoned his mother on the way into work. "Hey. Sorry I didn't call you after I got in last night. I was so exhausted I went straight to bed."

"Oh not to worry, I just watched the news to make sure no planes crashed so I wasn't worried when I went to sleep...after midnight" His mom said to him in a mock tortured mom voice. Jim rolled his eyes and laughed. They chatted about his trip. It would only occur to him afterwards that he never mentioned Cindy until the very end of the conversation. Right before he arrived at work he told his mother about the girl who was rooming with him until she found her own place.

She didn't like this idea of living together but she especially did not like thinking about her little boy living with some strange woman. It wasn't right but it wasn't for her to say so she bit her tongue. Since the conversation was almost over there was no more stalling she had to ask him a question she thought might be very important. "Jim, did that nice Pam girl, did she ever get in touch with you?"

"Pam called you?" Jim's voice filled with confusion. "Why? Why did she call you? What did she want?"

"She called right after you left but we didn't have any of your numbers. She sounded very anxious to talk to you." His mom sighed as things were becoming clear.

"Mom, what did she want?" Jim sounded a bit desperate.

His mother frowned. "You, Jimmy. I think she wanted you." Even though Jim had never came out and told his family it was understood among them that he was in love with a girl named Pam. He would talk about her quite often. It wasn't the details he shared but the tone of his voice when he spoke about her and the look on his face. There was nothing they could say to make Jim not love a very sweet but very engaged woman, so they just left it alone and let him talk whenever he chose to do so.

A strangled sound came out of Jim's mouth. It sounded like what a wounded animal might sound like right before they died. It was awful but there was nothing his mother could do or say to ease this pain. Poor Jim. "I have to go mom. I love you." He shut his cell phone but letting out a scream of frustration. Why? Why? No answers were forth coming so he went to work.

Work went as he expected. He did well interacting with others. He might actually enjoy his job for the first time ever. Jim tried not to focus on the whys and hows of his life and concentrated on functioning. Mid-day he took his lunch at his desk to catch up on email.

There were several from Pam. The first one was sent two days after her wedding date. Why was she sending him email on her honeymoon?

Dear Jim,
I hope you are having a wonderful time. I can't wait to hear all about it!
You can't believe what Dwight did today. It was so idiotic I can barely stop laughing.
Opps, Michael is heading this way.
Love Pam

Love Pam? Love Pam! Excuse me? She never signed her emails Love Pam. Why was she at work? Why wasn't she in Mexico? A small voice inside his head screamed as things were beginning to become clear. It can't be.

The next one sent at the end of his first week in Australia.

Dear Jim,
I can't wait to see you. I know we have a lot to talk about but I think it is going to be just fine.
I painted my bedroom a nice shade of soft yellow. I always loved that color but Roy would never let me paint any room that color. I am picking out new sheets and I decided on bright yellow. I hope they won't blind you. May be they will keep you up. HEHEHE!
I wish you left your phone number but I can be patient.
Seven days left...seven days never felt so long before.
Lots of Love Pam

Why will yellow in her bedroom keep me up? FUCK!

Dear Jim,
You will be home in 53 hours! I am doing a happy dance. I have been so patient and don't think I have been here pining for you. I accomplished a lot. I am finally me again for the first time in years and it feels amazing. I do what I want, when I want and I don't have to answer to anyone. I can't wait to see you. I am so looking forward to kissing you (just a little). I know you will be exhausted and we have so much to figure out. But I can't wait!
Love you more than I can say,
Pam
52 hours and 47 minutes

It took all the control Jim had not to toss the computer. Why? Why hadn't she told him before he left? Why had he left? Why did he not know? She loves me. His heart should have been singing at the news but he knew he had done the unforgivable. While she was home preparing for his homecoming, he had been burrowing down a hole to escape. How could he have done this to her?

He needed to see her to be sure he understood. Jan had suggested he make it a short day due to jetlag. Jim decided to take her up on her offer.