Well due to demand, I will continue the one shot I did called 'Screw Death'. lol. I don't know if I'll make it a long story or a drabble, but key point is I'll be continuing it. Look out for the next part soon okay?
Oh and another vengeance chapter should be up sometime this week. Thanks for reading, favoriting, alerting, reviewing and all that jazz lol.
Enjoy this one please! This one is actually my second attept at a humor fic. Hope you like!
I wrote this in honor of my older brother's birthday. Happy birthday Anthony, I love you!
"Maaaaax," Iggy whined.
"Shut up Ig. I'm tryin to put Angel to sleep," I said rocking Angel.
"I'm not tired Max," Angel said yawning.
I chuckled and kept rocking her back and forth.
"What do you want?" I hissed lowly to Iggy.
"Can I please borrow your clock?" he whined.
"No, because your definition of 'borrow' is break and return." I said patting Angel's back.
"Please!" he begged.
"What do you need it for anyway?" I asked.
"Please, can I just use it!" he said tapping his foot.
"He wants to build a birthday bomb for Gazzy," Angel whispered in my ear.
"You sure?" I asked her.
"Yeah," she said snuggling against my neck.
Well…Gazzy was turning 9 in a couple of days…I guess a little fun would be good for them. I turned back to Iggy, who was focusing on a space 2 inches to my right. I sighed and shifted Angel to the other arm.
"Fine. But the bomb better not give away our location," I said.
"How did you know I was gonna build a birthday bomb?" he asked quizzically.
"We've got Angel here in the same room, twit. If the bomb gets out of hand, I will have your butt roasting over the fire place got it?" I threatened.
Iggy scoffed and muttered something along the lines of 'we don't have a fire place so ha!'. He left the room without further argument, and I started rubbing circles into Angel's back.
A few minutes later when she was asleep, I placed her down in her bed and tucked the covers around her small body. Placing a kiss on her temple, I turned off her lights and moved to the other side of the room where Nudge was already sleeping.
Pushing her covers up to her chin, I kissed her cheek and turned off her light. With the girls asleep, I sighed and made my way across the hall to Gazzy's room, where Fang came out.
"I already put 'em down," he said closing the door.
I sighed and leaned against the staircase.
"Thanks," I muttered.
He nodded his head and came to stand next to me.
"What do you wanna do now?" he asked.
"I don't know, I'm gonna go watch some T.V. You coming?" I asked.
"Nah, I think I'm gonna turn in for the night," he said.
"Alright, see ya in the morning," I said walking downstairs.
"Yeah," he said walking to his room.
What was I gonna get Gazzy for his birthday? Gazzy was only 9 years old, but he was so much more mature than average 9 year olds.
I knew one thing for sure.
At the party, there is going to be NO beans what-so-ever.
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Gazzy! Happy birthday to you!" we all sang.
Well Fang just stood there, but he doesn't count.
Gazzy's smile was blinding, and it made my heart squeeze. You know the good kind of way. The way when you see your little brother's face light up after being depressed for half his life.
I walked to Gazzy's side and kissed the top of his head and ruffled his spiky hair.
"Happy birthday kiddo," I said laughing at his repulsed face.
He swiped the top of his head muttering something about cooties, and I pretended not to hear anything.
"Open my present first!" Angel said forcing a bag into Gazzy's arms.
Gazzy laughed and walked over to the kitchen table, where he set Angel's bag on the table and began to open the top. We all crowded around him, and Nudge got the camera ready.
Gazzy looked down into the bag with a curious expression, before his eyes widened and he looked up at his sister with a gaping mouth.
"Angel…" I said slowly. "What did you get him?"
Angel just laughed and motioned for Gazzy to pull his present out. With fumbling fingers, Gazzy reached in and pulled out a small box with a tarantula crawling up the sides.
Nudge screamed and dropped the camera as she stumbled over a kitchen chair and fell backwards. Iggy, Fang and Gazzy all started laughing at the fallen girl, as Angel smiled proudly and I stared at the spider with a horrified expression.
"Angel…where did you get that?" I asked.
She smiled innocently up at me before walking beside Gazzy and pointing at the spider.
"The woods outside is crawling with them Max. It wasn't that hard to find, as a matter of fact, I found this little guy on the edge of your window pane," she said.
That made me feel so much better.
Nudge scrambled to her feet and pointed a shaky finger at Gazzy before saying;
"Don't just stand there staring at it! Kill it!"
My eyes were focused on the spider's legs. Long, hairy, bony, and most of all freaky. I hate spiders. Not because it's a girl thing, but because when it crawls, it looks like a…a…creepy thing.
Look, I don't know how to describe my feelings for spiders in a poetic way so I won't even try. All you need to know is that I detest spiders.
Which is why I was about to open my mouth to decline Gazzy's new pet, when Angel and Gazzy looked up at me with huge, pleading, teary eyes.
"Pleeasee Max? Can I keep him please? I promise I'll take care of him and he won't cause any trouble," he pleaded.
The corners of his eyes teared up and I sighed in defeat.
"Fine, but he better stay in that cage," I said in a warning tone.
He laughed and pumped his fist in the air, while slapping a high five with Iggy. Fang gave me a look saying 'you sap,' and I returned with a look of my own that said 'you-would-have-given-into- those-eyes-too'
He shook his head and looked over to a hyperventilating Nudge. She looked at me with big eyes and a dropped jaw.
"You're going to let him keep that thing?" She asks glowering at the cage.
The spider was hanging upside down from the lid cover and it's beady red eyes seemed to be staring straight at her. I shrugged and walked around the opposite side of the table.
"Okay, okay, my present next," I said giving a box to Gazzy.
Okay, Gazzy may still be a nine year old, but he's been through so much crap in his life, you'd think he was 40. And plus, with his knew present, (which he actually asked for a numerous amount of times), would let me know that he has at least a little bit of safety if we were ever lost.
When he opened the box and gazed down at the present, his eyes shone in the kitchen light, and my heart leaped for joy.
"Max, thank you!" he shouted wrapping his hands around my waist.
I just laughed and shrugged his expression before he left and pulled is present out of the box. A Swiss army knife that had a handle customized with his name on it.
I went into town earlier this month and got it pre-ordered. And I'm glad I did, these things take time to make. Gazzy practiced throwing it across the wall a few times, and each time it landed in the wall with deadly precision. He set the knife down carefully near the spider case and took the box that Nudge offered him.
She kept a distance away from the spider though, despite that it was in a locked up. Hell I don't blame her, so was I.
Gazzy excitedly took the cover off of Nudge's box and pulled out an army camouflaged stylish jacket. It had a solid green background with brown, black and grey speckled spots along the body, but the sleeves and the hood were strictly green.
Gazzy smiled and yelled a thank you to Nudge, who was still staring at the spider box with detest. She waved off the comment with a wave of her hand and continued glaring at the spider.
Gazzy shrugged on his new jacket, just to emphasize his love for the jacket and smiled up at Fang who placed his gift in front of Gazzy.
I smiled as Gazzy started unloading video game after video game that Fang bought him. Gazzy's smile was usually forced and not all the time sincere, but today his smile was contagious. Full of laughter, happiness, joy, and most of all, gratefulness.
Iggy had two presents, but he waited till late evening to give him the second one. The first one was the marvelous triple layer chocolate cake, and then of course, Gazzy's bomb.
As we all sat on the roof of the house, Angel started whispering to Nudge, while Gazzy was twitching in anticipation in the corner, with his pet spider at his side.
Fang and I sat next to each other, constantly searching the horizons for any trouble, but also keeping up a happy façade, just for Gazzy's mood.
Iggy was rummaging through a black duffel bag before pulling out a control panel with a lot of buttons on it. I watched him as he took the control panel and sat next to Gazzy.
"Alright Gaz. It's time for your final birthday present. Would you do the honors?" he asked holding the control panel out to him.
Gazzy's face went from impatient to excited as he pushed a big green button at the top of the panel. Immediately, all of us switched our eyes out to the sky where we expected the bomb to appear.
Key word: expected.
But do you know where the bomb actually was?
Go ahead, take a guess, you'll never be able to get it.
…
…
…
IGGY FREAKIN HOOKED UP THE BOMB AT THE BASE OF THE STAIRCASE: A.K.A. RIGHT BELOW US.
"You freakin idiot!" Fang shouted at the stray streams of bright light shot up past us.
"I thought I set it up right!" he shouted ducking.
"Everybody get down!" I screamed over the whistling explosions.
Angel leaped off the side of the house, spreading her wings with Fang following closely behind. I was about to grab Gazzy and haul him to his feet, when a blast hit two feet to his right, sending him toppling over, while knocking over his spider cage.
The spider cage seemed to spin in slow motion as it made its way towards Nudge. My eyes widened the same time as the plastic cage busted open, and Nudge fell backwards onto the roof, with the spider crawling on her chest.
Her scream was louder than the explosions, which seemed to stop as soon as she screamed. Fang and Angel landed and scrambled over to see what was happening, and Gazzy and Iggy crowded her too.
"Get it off! OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF NOW." She screamed.
Struggling to keep an impassive expression, Iggy reached down onto her abdomen where the spider was crawling freely, and picked it up while Nudge scrambled to her feet and leapt 20 feet away.
"EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, EW." She whined scrubbing her body down.
I looked down at Iggy, who was allowing the spider to crawl up and down his arm and glared at him.
"What the hell was that?" I shouted at him.
"It was an accident-"
"We can't make accidents Iggy. Not with the life style we have!" I shouted again.
He hung his head low and blonde ashen strands of hair fell on his face.
"Gazzy, I'm sorry, I ruined your birthday-"
"Are you kidding me? The sudden adrenaline, all those colors, dude that was brilliant!" Gazzy shouted pushing Iggy.
Iggy's head snapped up to look at Gazzy, (well the space above his head) and his mouth dropped in surprise, as did the rest of ours.
"What?" Iggy stuttered.
"Dude, that was awesome. I loved it, thank you so much!" Gazzy said hugging Iggy's body.
Iggy, although surprised, allowed himself a chuckle and to reinforce the hug. I smiled at the two boys despite my anger at Iggy, and turned to face Nudge, who was still in freak out mode.
"Hey Nudge," Iggy whispered dangerously.
Nudge's head snapped up in annoyance, but her eyes quickly widened as she saw Iggy walking towards her, with the spider crawling on his hands.
"EEEP!" she squealed.
Iggy smiled dangerously and continued walking in her direction. Fang and Gazzy shared mischievous glances and Angel and I shared an amused one.
"Iggy," I warned while smirking.
"STAY AWAY!" Nudge screamed.
"Hehehe..." Iggy chuckled walking slower.
He held his hand out and the spider crawled towards Nudge, but Nudge screamed and walked backwards and fell off the roof. All the sudden humor in the air was gone as well rushed forwards seeing if she had opened her wings in time. Worry consumed me as I pushed past Iggy to look down at the edge.
And I barely contained my laughter as I looked down. There was Nudge….
Sitting in a pile of mud.
Iggy laughed from my right side and put the spider back into the cage.
"Well that wasn't supposed to happen,"
Please tell me that was at least close to being somewhat funny.
But anyways,
Thanks I guess. lol.
-Shift