A/N: So this is something new I'm trying. Each chapter of this story will be a one-shot inspired by a song from the musical The Last Five Years. I encourage you to listen to the songs, but will not include the lyrics here per policy. Enjoy.
~Kel
It's over, Garcia. He's gone.
Penelope wraps the blanket tighter around her shoulders and squeezes her eyes shut in a futile attempt to keep the tears in and the memories out, but she's still crying and her head is still ringing with those awful words.
Retired. Starting a family.
It's not that she doesn't want the best for him, because she does. She wants him to have everything he every wanted and to be deliriously happy with his life. He deserves it. The problem is the selfish part of her heart that held out hope that maybe they could be happy together. Instead, she was left with a broken heart and an invitation to his and Savannah's wedding.
Her mind races back to the first time she saw him. She was sitting in that California interrogation room, handcuffed to the table, arguing with Hotch, and feeling so conflicted. She'd gotten what she'd wanted; she'd been caught. Suddenly, though, she wasn't so sure she'd wanted this at all. Life with Shane had been hard, but would this new start really be any better?
But it had been. God, it had been. Suddenly she had a great new job and this amazing team of people around her and, of course, Derek. Somewhere between "Hey, eyebrows," and "Penelope, I'm leaving," he had become an indispensable part of her life and her very identity. She wasn't just Penelope Garcia anymore; she was Penelope Garcia, Derek Morgan's Baby Girl.
Until this morning. Because the cases had gotten too hard, he'd said. He wanted more from life, he'd said. So he was leaving. Getting out. Because he could. He was abandoning her, and to add insult to injury, she couldn't leave even if she wanted to. She was stuck.
A new sob erupted through her apartment and she gave a new, more literal meaning to "throw pillow" as she hurled one across the room and shattered a picture frame. He'd said he'd always be there to protect her. He'd said she was his God-given solace, the person he couldn't live without. She wondered bitterly when he'd changed his mind, or if it had ever been true in the first place.
Derek had always loved his job. It was hard as all get out, but it was his passion, and when he needed support, he'd always know that Penelope was there for him, no matter what. That too had apparently changed. Suddenly his passion his job had all but disappeared, and he was turning to Savannah instead. It made sense, of course, but it still hurt like hell. She'd been replaced.
He was leaving. She couldn't seem to wrap her head around the horrible truth. She'd been so convinced that he'd always be around to save the world, to confide in her, and to be there for her when she needed him. But she'd been wrong. He was giving up - on the BAU, and on her. He didn't need her anymore, after all. He had Savannah. He was getting married. Starting a family.
Problem was, she still needed him.