Just to let you
all know, this fic was written as a challenge on the dying scarlet
fanfiction mailing list. Called 'Shades of Scarlet,' the idea was
to use the color red as much as possible. This was my entry...hope you
all like it. C&C is always welcome and appreciated. ^_^
My Gift to You
The fabric is rough beneath my fingers, though the weave of the crimson cloth is fine, evidence of its rarity and worth. A gift, a rare present to you, my son, my Inuyasha. I can do so little. My hands are small, delicate, and their strength mostly gone now. I retire early in the dusky red evenings, to sleep and dream of other days, happier days. With what small strength I have left, I shall leave this in my wake, for I fear I have little time left in this world.
I remember being told; two swords. There will be two swords, a Tenseiga for one, a Tetsusaiga for the other. He left you a weapon to protect yourself with, for you to wield in your hands when you are grown and strong. Through it you will gain your father's protection and strength, passed down into you. So like him you seem at times...silver hair, golden eyes that reflect the redness of the coming dawn. Gentle or angry, depending on your mood. What for me to give? I, a mortal woman? For months I bore you, I carried you and I care for you. Though I feel transparent now, pale and faded. A mother also wishes to protect...is it not the way of nature? For a mother to shield her young from harm?
Your father is gone. I knew it when he died, for the hole he filled in my heart opened again and bled red blood. I miss him, and wish again to be with him, though I live for you, now. It can hurt to love so deeply, wanting only to be with your lover and yet being denied. I know where I wish to be, though for now I must stay a mother, not a woman. I am one step in the realm of the ghostly dead, though I have not stepped through that gateway, not yet. I will remain just a little longer here, and see that you wear my gift.
I have sewn every morning, as dawn stretches rosy fingers in the east, spreading through the day and turning the sky many colors. Ruby fades to amethyst, then to sapphire and cottony white clouds, beautiful and touched in pink, as though the light of the heaven pressed through a wall rare gems. I can see them now, crowning the black, sloping roofs, reflecting in the streams of the garden of the household. These are the quiet hours, when we are alone in the morning silence, at peace, and those in our makeshift home are just beginning to stir, to rub red rimmed, bleary eyes and face another day. I wonder, when they learn of my husband's death...when we will be turned out?
Your gift is almost done. The tough scarlet cloth reminds me of the dawn, when it is freshest and new, and the vermillion color it places on the morning glories is still brilliantly and vibrantly alive, unfaded. The colors of a new day, a day created just for you by the goddess in the glowing golden sun. For me is the night, dark and silent, scattered with white stars.
You are enjoying yourself, aren't you? Do you really forget that I sit here on the verandah and watch you as you play? I am so sorry, my son, my Inuyasha. Though you play, you play alone. Always, always alone. I would join you, but time is of the essence, and it is almost complete. Your father will be with you when you claim your sword and are a man. Until then, let this coat be my gift to you, fine enough to be your armor. No one truly knows where the fire-rat lives. Some say they live in the hot slopes of volcanoes, and can live in the firey molten lava that flows when the mountains are angry and erupt. It is not easy to obtain, fire-rat fur. I was told this comes from the land of Morokoshi, though that is also what the merchant told the Sadaijin in the old legend. I remember the story of the Bamboo-Cutter and the Moon-Maiden. I should tell it to you, as well. Perhaps tonight. The moon will be full, and it will be as though Kaguya-hime watches the earth from her home in the heaven.
This, though, does not burn in the crimson flames.
Strong enough to be armor, it can deflect swords. Yet how easily it is pierced by a needle and thread! It seems sometimes that small things can pierce what greater things cannot. The only future I see for you will be one full of fighting. You will have to be strong enough to meet it. To be a hanyou is to struggle. My gift will protect you when you wear it. Perhaps someday, you will use it to protect the one you love. Lend it to her. I would like that. To know someone else is caring for you, though perhaps not in quite the way I would, being your mother. She would have to be strong, this woman. Strong enough to look past your youkai blood and see the human soul beneath.
A flash of pain. What is this? I drift in my thoughts too much, and see? Now I have managed to prick myself. Red, human blood beads on the surface of my fingertip, and runs down the darker, thick crimson thread I use to sew the sleeve. I place the finger against my pink lips and suck on it a moment, waiting for the tiny wound to close. The thread has already absorbed my blood. Should I remove the hem? No, no, it is nearly complete, and after all Tetsusaiga is a fang. A tiny drop of my blood in the weave will not harm it. See? Its red color matches already, and my skin is sealed.
Another stitch, and another. The haori is complete. Magical creatures, fire-rats, even if the concept of wearing the fur of a rat would disgust most of the people here. I wonder how their magic works. I can't help but imagine in my mind's eye, my child keeping this until he is grown. Foolishness, perhaps, but I also see the little boy before my eyes, playing before the blooming, deep crimson hue of the dawn touched morning glories.
"Inuyasha!"
His head lifts for a moment, and I think he
is considering running off to play more away from me. Mother calling for
no reason usually means stopping whatever he is enjoying, an unfortunate
association.
"Inuyasha, I have something for you. Come
here," I call again, motioning. He blinks at me, a little wearily, as though
saying, 'yes, yes, I'm coming, I'm coming,' in the dullest tone. His ears
droop a little when he does that, and I can't help but think of a scolded
puppy. But he is mine, and I love him for it.
"You've seen me making this for you. Here, it's done. Try it on for me?"
Now a bit curious, since he has seen me working so many mornings, he dutifully lifts his arms, and I place the coat over his slender, boy's shoulders. It looks about a size too large, hanging loosely on him, almost drowning. I pull his bushy white hair out from inside the cloth where it was tucked, and the silver stands out starkly against the scarlet fabric as I smooth it down.
"It's too big," he complains, "and it's heavy."
"Ah, too bad, too bad. I thought you would be strong enough and big enough to wear it. Perhaps when you're older, then."
His eyes look surprised, and lowers his head, edging away and gripping the long sleeves by their thick red threads. Almost shyly, he argues,"I'm big enough."
I frown thoughtfully at him as though considering it. "Are you sure? It is rather large...."
"It's mine!" he demands, stepping back again. Gifts are so rare, I suppose he wants to keep it. I give him a conceding little smile, as though allowing him to win.
"Very well then, you can keep it. But you'll need some pants to match too."
"Oh," he says, looking down and noticing the mismatched yellowish color that has been covered by the red. The crimson is more brilliant, standing out against it, far richer in hue. Even a child can see that there is a quality there, even if clothing means little to him. He glances up at me again. "You making it?"
"Yes. It will take a little more time, though.
You can play again now, Inuyasha."
Reluctantly, he blinks up at me again, edges
back, then turns to run back to his explorations of the stream beyond the
dewy flowers. There are probably some carp swimming around in the pools
at this time of the morning. He must be watching them.
I pick up my sewing again, though I watch the little reddish figure run and play.
The sun has risen. The ruby color has faded
from the sky, giving way to blue. A new day has begun.
*************
Written on 8/7/02
Information on the fire-rats was taken from the myth of the 'Bamboo-Cutter and the Moon Maiden.' Sadaijin was the 'Left Great Minister' according to this book I'm looking at here. ^_^ Morokoshi is where the merchant who sold him the fake fire-rat fur robe said it was from.
And of course, I do not own Inuyasha. I have a nice wallscroll of him and the rest of the group though....
Til next storytime-
~Queen