The Doctor was held to the ground.
He couldn't move.
He couldn't think about anything apart from what was happening at that moment.
Clara's scream kept on echoing in the Doctor's mind as he looked at his friend's body; lifeless, soulless and without hope of ever seeing her alive again.
It can't be true... the person he looked after, risked so much and was ready to change the future for, was gone.
He had failed.
The Doctor moved towards his companion, trembling with every step, as she did before facing the Raven. He was scared, it couldn't have been true.
No...
It was the Doctor and Clara, the mentor and the reckless student, the carer and his friend,on an unknown street, in the dark, in the cold, in the state in which the Doctor feared the most.
Being alone.
He kneeled down near Clara, gently heaving her lifeless body from the cold pavement, and slowly walking to the Infirmary.
Clara... My Clara... What have they done to you?
He entered.
The room was silent. Grief-stricken faces looked at the Doctor and Clara as the Doctor crossed the room and entered the bedroom on the opposite side of the entrance door. Rigsy couldn't even look at Clara. No one dared stop the Doctor, and neither talk to him or console him. The Doctor couldn't even take his eyes off Clara, as he was immersed in thought.
He entered the room, laid her on the made double bed in the middle of the room and closed the door. The Doctor took Clara's warm hand between his cold, rough hands and kissed it gently, just like he did before his companion left to face death.
To be brave.
Clara's cheeks were still streaked with fresh tears, tears of fear and pain.
Yet, all the fear and pain was over.
He wiped away the tears with his thumb, very gently.
"You're making a fuss Clara," the Doctor used to say.
"Then everyone makes a fuss out of your rough hands, daft old man," Clara used to say with a cheeky grin. "Not when you have sandpapers as hands!"
Yet Clara didn't mind the Doctor wiping away her tears when she felt sad.
The Doctor smoothed his friend's forehead; as if consoling her... As he always did when Clara didn't feel well.She wasn't just an acquaintance, nor a casual friend. She was his best friend. They had had so many great adventures, which all came flashing into his mind, remembering each laugh, each giggle, and each smile Clara gave him.
But there was nothing more to console.
"I hope you know you were and always will be my Impossible Girl, Clara.
Oh, my Clara!"
He bowed down his head on the bed.
"They want me. They need me. They could've taken me without trying to resist! But to hurt you..."
"Who are they, Clara? What do they want from me?"
The Doctor sniffed as he kept holding Clara's hand.
He wanted to believe that this was all a dream...a horrible nightmare, induced by a malfunctioning facehugger eating his brain... that Father Christmas would open the door and tell the Doctor to wake up...
Yet, there was no pain on his temples.
And no Father Christmas came through the door.
He didn't want to believe that Clara was really dead.
When Davros brought him to Skaro and the Daleks tried to persuade the Doctor that Clara was really dead, the Doctor knew that it wasn't true.
He had felt that it wasn't true.
But now, he knew what he was dealing with. Nothing could escape a quantum shade once that the chronolock is locked in. The Doctor knew how dangerous it was and what it could do. He saw his best friend frozen in agony, heard her scream in pain...
He saw Clara die in front of his own eyes. Nothing could erase that horrible memory.
The Doctor without a companion.
The Doctor without a reliable friend.
The Doctor was alone...
"I'm scared Clara. I'm not brave as you are!You are..." The Doctor stopped as his voice broke.
"You... were always the brave one. And I don't have the same courage you have.
But what they did to you, Clara... It's my fault. You always took care of me... And I didn't take care of you enough. I'm sorry."
The Doctor kissed her hand again and cried on it.
"I'm so sorry."
"Now what will I do?"
'What you've always done... WIN!!
Very well then, Clara.
He leaned over to her ear and whispered,
"Don't worry, Clara. I will bring you back. I promise.
I will bring you back."
The Doctor kissed his companion, sat up and straightened his jacket to regain his composure.
'Let me be brave'
He left Clara behind to face the rest of the horrors the day had in store for him.