This is the sequel to "Everything I've Known". It'd be easier to read that first, but not necessary. It's present day, post-season two finale, but there are flashbacks to my own story not in any order unless mentioned.
I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, I'll say it again: NOT MINE. The characters do not belong to me. No spoilers, I don't think. And if you want it, ask. (I'm at underdog814@email.com) Feedback is always appreciated. Thanks.
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain" is CCR's. The second song that is played in the car is "Until the Night" by Billy Joel. Pay attention to the one in the car, it'll come up again later with some connections.
A Chance for Unrequited Love
and some great need in me starts to bleed...
- third eye blind -
It was frustrating, really. And it was extraordinarily difficult watching myself drowning in all that might've been. You know, I do try. I try to drain my mind of the idea that Grissom and I could make something work, but every time I see him, it just reminds me of those days before when we had nothing to hide from each other. It's torture. And seeing him just shows me how much he's moved on. I mean, when he looks at me know, all he sees is a friend. Nothing more. Not even a possibility of more. With a damned sleight of fate, everything was over. He was heading to Chicago, I met Eddie, et cetera, et cetera.
You have no idea how hard it is for me. God, pining for someone who doesn't even see me that way anymore. I guess it was because we both never had the guts to confess that we wanted more than just a casual relationship. It was tacit though known, but neither dared to take that one step to cross the line between casual and true romance.
I looked at the clock from the bed, and swore under my breath. The numbers glared brightly in the dark. An hour before shift began, and I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed the remote for the stereo, turning it on. I pulled the covers over my head again, the music blasting from the speakers.
Someone told me long ago
There's a calm before the storm
I know
It's been coming for some time
When it's over so they say
It'll rain a sunny day
I know
Shining down like water
I want to know
Have you ever seen the rain
I want to know
Have you ever seen the rain
Coming down on a sunny day
Well, if I can't sleep now, I might as well not sleep at all. I flung the covers off and lifted my protesting body up from the bed.
Yesterday and days before
Sun is cold and rain is hard
I know
Been that way for all my time
Till forever on it goes
Through the circle fast and slow
I know
It can't stop, I wonder
I want to know
Have you ever seen the rain
I want to know
Have you ever seen the rain
Coming down on a sunny day...
I opened my closet doors, and dragged out a pair of pants, pulling them on. I removed a belt from the metal hook on the door, and strung it through the hoops of my pants. I sighed. It was hard even trying to distract myself. I pulled a shirt off a hanger. Shrugging it on, I counted the buttons as I did them. One, two, three, four, and left the top one undone. I picked a silver faced watch from the drawer, and began winding it while I stared at the mirror's reflection. I snapped the watch on around my left wrist, my eyes never leaving the ones in the mirror in front of me. For some reason, I felt so damned empty.
The music faded into an awful silence. I turned off the stereo. I thought about waking Lindsey when suddenly I remembered she was with Eddie for the whole week. Was my mind that wrapped up that I even forget where my daughter is? I sighed again. Grabbing my leather jacket that was laid haphazardly on a chair, I stuck my keys and pager in the pockets, and marched myself downstairs while I brushed my hair quickly.
"Catherine, I don't want you on this case."
Why not?!
"Look, you're already all worked up and you're not even at the scene yet. I don't want you to get emotionally involved. I don't think you can handle this."
Don't tell me what I can or cannot handle. I know my own limits, Grissom. And I want this case.
"Catherine - "
Fire me, I challenged.
We stood out in the empty hallway. Grissom didn't reply. He didn't even look me in the eye. I waited for a moment, and walked away, leaving him to stand there. I heard him let out an uneasy sigh.
"Take Warrick with you." He finally said, defeated.
Fine.
I went by the break room and found Warrick pouring himself a cup of coffee. I knocked on the door, making him look up.
Warrick, you're with me. I'll meet you out in the parking lot in a couple minutes. You're driving.
"Wow," He said when we finally were well on our way, cruising through traffic effortlessly, "You look deep in thought."
I'm a scientist, Warrick. I get paid to be deep in thought.
"So, what's wrong?"
What makes you think something's wrong?
"Well, for one, since when do you insist that I drive?"
I smiled at his assiduous observation, but didn't respond.
"And you look pretty upset." He continued. His mud puddle green eyes were filled with concern.
I'm not upset.
"Yeah? Tell that to the veins popping out of your forehead."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"You can tell me, you know."
I know, Warrick.
"All right, as long as you know."
Thanks.
He nodded. "Music?"
Sure.
"Billy Joel, okay with you?"
Perfect.
He reached over and turned on the radio, letting music flood my mind as I stared out at the road that zoomed pass us.
I never ask you where you go
After I leave you in the morning
We go our different ways to separate situations
It's not that easy anymore
Today I do what must be done
I give my time to total strangers
But now it feels as though the day goes on forever
More than it ever did before
I shifted in the passenger seat, sucking in a sharp breath. I could feel my stomach twisting into tight knots.
Until the night, until the night
I just might make it
Until the night, until the night
When I see you again
"Cath, you okay?" His concerned voice interrupted my thoughts.
Now you're afraid that we have changed
And I'm afraid we're getting older
So many broken hearts, so many lonely faces
So many lovers come and gone
I'll have my fears like every man
You'll have you tears like every woman
Today we'll be unsure, is this what we believe in
And wonder how can we go wrong
Fine. I'm fine.
Until the night, until the night
I just might make it
Until the night, until the night
When I see you again
He tried to catch me eye, wait for me to make a wrong move to corner me in his insistent interrogation. I didn't look at him. I couldn't allow him to see the tears that had begun to blur my vision.
When the sun goes down
And the day is over
When the last of the light has gone
As they pour into the street
I will be getting closer
As the cars turn their headlights on
As they're closing it down
I'm gonna open it up
And while they're going to sleep
We'll just be starting to touch
I'm just beginning to feel
I'm just beginning to give
I'm just beginning to feel
I'm just beginning to live
Before I leave you again
Before the light of dawn
Before this evening can end
I have been waiting so long
Until the night, until the night
I just might make it
Until the night, until the night
I'll just keep holding on
Until the night, until the night
When I see you again
"You sure you're all right?"
Warrick, I'm fine. Let's just get this case over and done with.
I got out the car quickly when he jerked the brake into place. I swallowed hard, waiting for him.
Good song, I said.
He just smiled faintly.
________________________________________________________________________________________
Please let me know what you all think. Thanks.
I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, I'll say it again: NOT MINE. The characters do not belong to me. No spoilers, I don't think. And if you want it, ask. (I'm at underdog814@email.com) Feedback is always appreciated. Thanks.
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain" is CCR's. The second song that is played in the car is "Until the Night" by Billy Joel. Pay attention to the one in the car, it'll come up again later with some connections.
A Chance for Unrequited Love
and some great need in me starts to bleed...
- third eye blind -
It was frustrating, really. And it was extraordinarily difficult watching myself drowning in all that might've been. You know, I do try. I try to drain my mind of the idea that Grissom and I could make something work, but every time I see him, it just reminds me of those days before when we had nothing to hide from each other. It's torture. And seeing him just shows me how much he's moved on. I mean, when he looks at me know, all he sees is a friend. Nothing more. Not even a possibility of more. With a damned sleight of fate, everything was over. He was heading to Chicago, I met Eddie, et cetera, et cetera.
You have no idea how hard it is for me. God, pining for someone who doesn't even see me that way anymore. I guess it was because we both never had the guts to confess that we wanted more than just a casual relationship. It was tacit though known, but neither dared to take that one step to cross the line between casual and true romance.
I looked at the clock from the bed, and swore under my breath. The numbers glared brightly in the dark. An hour before shift began, and I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed the remote for the stereo, turning it on. I pulled the covers over my head again, the music blasting from the speakers.
Someone told me long ago
There's a calm before the storm
I know
It's been coming for some time
When it's over so they say
It'll rain a sunny day
I know
Shining down like water
I want to know
Have you ever seen the rain
I want to know
Have you ever seen the rain
Coming down on a sunny day
Well, if I can't sleep now, I might as well not sleep at all. I flung the covers off and lifted my protesting body up from the bed.
Yesterday and days before
Sun is cold and rain is hard
I know
Been that way for all my time
Till forever on it goes
Through the circle fast and slow
I know
It can't stop, I wonder
I want to know
Have you ever seen the rain
I want to know
Have you ever seen the rain
Coming down on a sunny day...
I opened my closet doors, and dragged out a pair of pants, pulling them on. I removed a belt from the metal hook on the door, and strung it through the hoops of my pants. I sighed. It was hard even trying to distract myself. I pulled a shirt off a hanger. Shrugging it on, I counted the buttons as I did them. One, two, three, four, and left the top one undone. I picked a silver faced watch from the drawer, and began winding it while I stared at the mirror's reflection. I snapped the watch on around my left wrist, my eyes never leaving the ones in the mirror in front of me. For some reason, I felt so damned empty.
The music faded into an awful silence. I turned off the stereo. I thought about waking Lindsey when suddenly I remembered she was with Eddie for the whole week. Was my mind that wrapped up that I even forget where my daughter is? I sighed again. Grabbing my leather jacket that was laid haphazardly on a chair, I stuck my keys and pager in the pockets, and marched myself downstairs while I brushed my hair quickly.
"Catherine, I don't want you on this case."
Why not?!
"Look, you're already all worked up and you're not even at the scene yet. I don't want you to get emotionally involved. I don't think you can handle this."
Don't tell me what I can or cannot handle. I know my own limits, Grissom. And I want this case.
"Catherine - "
Fire me, I challenged.
We stood out in the empty hallway. Grissom didn't reply. He didn't even look me in the eye. I waited for a moment, and walked away, leaving him to stand there. I heard him let out an uneasy sigh.
"Take Warrick with you." He finally said, defeated.
Fine.
I went by the break room and found Warrick pouring himself a cup of coffee. I knocked on the door, making him look up.
Warrick, you're with me. I'll meet you out in the parking lot in a couple minutes. You're driving.
"Wow," He said when we finally were well on our way, cruising through traffic effortlessly, "You look deep in thought."
I'm a scientist, Warrick. I get paid to be deep in thought.
"So, what's wrong?"
What makes you think something's wrong?
"Well, for one, since when do you insist that I drive?"
I smiled at his assiduous observation, but didn't respond.
"And you look pretty upset." He continued. His mud puddle green eyes were filled with concern.
I'm not upset.
"Yeah? Tell that to the veins popping out of your forehead."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"You can tell me, you know."
I know, Warrick.
"All right, as long as you know."
Thanks.
He nodded. "Music?"
Sure.
"Billy Joel, okay with you?"
Perfect.
He reached over and turned on the radio, letting music flood my mind as I stared out at the road that zoomed pass us.
I never ask you where you go
After I leave you in the morning
We go our different ways to separate situations
It's not that easy anymore
Today I do what must be done
I give my time to total strangers
But now it feels as though the day goes on forever
More than it ever did before
I shifted in the passenger seat, sucking in a sharp breath. I could feel my stomach twisting into tight knots.
Until the night, until the night
I just might make it
Until the night, until the night
When I see you again
"Cath, you okay?" His concerned voice interrupted my thoughts.
Now you're afraid that we have changed
And I'm afraid we're getting older
So many broken hearts, so many lonely faces
So many lovers come and gone
I'll have my fears like every man
You'll have you tears like every woman
Today we'll be unsure, is this what we believe in
And wonder how can we go wrong
Fine. I'm fine.
Until the night, until the night
I just might make it
Until the night, until the night
When I see you again
He tried to catch me eye, wait for me to make a wrong move to corner me in his insistent interrogation. I didn't look at him. I couldn't allow him to see the tears that had begun to blur my vision.
When the sun goes down
And the day is over
When the last of the light has gone
As they pour into the street
I will be getting closer
As the cars turn their headlights on
As they're closing it down
I'm gonna open it up
And while they're going to sleep
We'll just be starting to touch
I'm just beginning to feel
I'm just beginning to give
I'm just beginning to feel
I'm just beginning to live
Before I leave you again
Before the light of dawn
Before this evening can end
I have been waiting so long
Until the night, until the night
I just might make it
Until the night, until the night
I'll just keep holding on
Until the night, until the night
When I see you again
"You sure you're all right?"
Warrick, I'm fine. Let's just get this case over and done with.
I got out the car quickly when he jerked the brake into place. I swallowed hard, waiting for him.
Good song, I said.
He just smiled faintly.
________________________________________________________________________________________
Please let me know what you all think. Thanks.