HUMBLE

Mikael: Guys, i`ve an idea for the next video

Mikael: what about a tag

Adam: what is that?

Mutta: Adam, you can`t call yourself a youtuber if you don`t know what a tag is

Ok, we can do a tag, but what tag

Mutta: everything but the ice bucket bullshit

Mikael: that`s not a tag, that`s a challenge

Adam: hahahahaha

WHAT. TAG

yousef, help please

Yousef: What about 50 thing about me?

"Your looking through my things!?"

Her sister shout made Elias stop paying atention to the conversation with the guys. He was lying in bed, looking his cellphone. These days his mother was very suspicious, and she has reasons to be that way. The thing Elias didn`t like was that she was focusing her efforts in Sana`s behaviour. And that was his fault. He thought about what happened last friday evening, especially what happening the day after when Yousef asked him how he was and Elias answered "Dude, I was so wasted that I don`t remember a thing". The dissapointed look Yousef gaves him hurt like a stab.

But Yousef didn`t understand him. He didn`t understand how scared he was and if only... if only...

"There are lots of things in Islam that don`t fit me either. Like for example, its view of homosexuality. And..."

Elias stand up and went to the kitchen for something to drink. When he was serving the cold tea he noticed that his hands were shaking. He support his weight in the table and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. When he finished his tea and went back to his room, he lied down on the carpet instead on the bed, in front of the window. His phone rang. Mikael had send him a selfie; It seems that the angle was to make the nosetrils look like a bottomless pit.

Mikael: When you stick crayons up on your nose as a kid, this is what you get.

Eias smiled.

We all know that you keep sticking it up.

Mikael: hahahaha

Mikael: What do you thing about the tag?

I don`t have 50 thing to tell

Mikael: What nonsense is that? You`re the most interesting person i know!

Maybe it could be much easier if Mikael didn`t say stuff like that. Maybe it could be easier to ignore it, but when they were in the same room, Elias have to make an effort for not to look a him, not touching him... something really hard because Mikael was a touchy person, always looking for contact and affection.

He felt stupid for having hopes when he knew that almost anybody works for him. Mikael had touch Mutta, Adam, Yousef. And Even. The same way he touched him. But he feel that Mikael look for him more, he look at him more, he talk to him more... Maybe because Elias intensively look for that contact, even though he denied it. He sighed and got up to look through the window. His sister was out, playing basketball, and she didn`t score a single point. That meant she was angry. Or sad.

"Were you fighting with mom?" Elias asked

"Could you tell?"

"I heard" Elias took the basketball ball and score. When Sana throw the ball, she failed again. Yeah, she was worried about something. Suddenly he remembered that last Friday, Youse and Sana had been together after leaving him in Noora's house. What if Yousef had told her something? "What were you doing with Yousef the other day?"

Sana was nervous, and that disturb him. Maybe she knew something? Thinking about Yousef seeing his most vulnerable side and not having any problem in telling his sister made him feel betrayed.

"With Yousef?"

"Yeah, momo told me she saw you together."

"Oh yeah-" Sana hawked "He just walked me home from Noora's"

After saying this, she pass him the ball and stared at him from head to toe, and for a moment Elias thought she knew, she knew about his feelings for Mikael. But he knew his sister, and that was not the problem. Oh.

"You liked him!" When Sana denied it, Elias smiled widely.

After playing basketball a little bit, they sit on the swings. He felt horrible for thinking his sister would judge him for liking a boy. And mostly he felt guilty for distrust Yousef, even for a moment.

"Yousef is a nice guy" Sana didn`t answered inmediatly

"It's just that he's not a muslim" That was a surprise for Elias

"Yousef is the most muslim guy I know" Sana look at him with sad eyes, slightly skeptical. "He doesn't drink, he's always respectful to everyone..."

"Yeah, but he doesn't believe in Allah"

Elias couldn't help but laugh.

"Doesn't believe in Allah..." He tought about Mikael, drinking, and about the day he told them how Even had kiss him "Do you know how many people I know who say they believe in Alla? But they still drink, steal and vandalize.

Her sister looks thoughtful. He was feeling angry. He felt that he was in love with an hipocrite and that thinking he would reject him is the principal reason why Elias isn't accepting his own feelings.

"What is more important? Saying that you believe in Allah or live like you believe in Allah" Elias look at Sana "The most impotant thing to me at least is knowing that my sister is doing well with a good guy and not only that he goes to the Mosque"

"I don't think mom agrees"

"You know mom just wants what's best for us. It's just that she was born in a completely different country in a completely different time, so she doesn't know what it's like to be us" Worrying his mother another reason for feeling guilty. He was tired of feeling that the fear for disapointing others, enables him to live his own life.

"You have to stop having such a sad face" Elias said, looking at her sister "Because when you're sad, I'm sad too" Sana smiled. Finally.

"I'm not sad" Elias remembered the last time he had a proper conversation with his sister. She came home really angry, with teary eyes, because some classmate guys tried to take of her hijab. And when Sana smiled at him and said bring Yousef he knew that he could tell his sister what is happening to him.