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THE LONGEST DAY

By The Infiniator

Disclaimer:

Besides Jack Bauer and other 24 characters, many other characters from different shows and films will make appearances in this story. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, and I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story. All rights reserved.

Author's Note:

I was inspired to write this story after spending nearly an hour searching through 24 stories looking for a decent fanfiction. But my efforts proved to be in vain because all I could find were love stories. Love story after love story. Jesus, it's enough to drive someone insane. This is 24 people not a soap opera. Of course there's love and relationships, and I know that they're an important part of the show, but enough is enough. So I put this together for anyone who's a fan of 24, Jack Bauer, or both, or just wants to see Chuck Norris get his ass handed to him. Enjoy.

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 10:00 A.M. AND 11:00 A.M.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME (BUT NOT REALLY).

Miami, FL

Lines had long since begun to form at each of the registers in the busy department store, but this did not seem to bother the three teenage boys arguing in the loading dock area. The heated exchange of words was well into its second hour, when finally it seemed as if the youngest of the three, a boy whose name tag read "Virgil," seemed to be losing his confidence.

"The guy has literally died for his country and lived to tell about it!" exclaimed Virgil. "I mean it takes the average person close to five months to watch what this guy does in a single day."

"Please," replied Henry, the oldest of the three. "The show is fucking ridiculous."

"I know," added the third boy, Marcus. "You're gonna tell me that this guy single-handedly ends the threat in each season, and he just so happens to do it each time in exactly 24 hours? Get the fuck out of here."

"He doesn't do it all on his own, even though he could if he wanted to," explained Virgil. "He has CTU backing him up. Chloe gives him schematics and shit, and there's always something going on with the President."

"Kiefer Sutherland's acting sucks. Why do you think you never see him in movies?"

Virgil was appalled. "What the fuck? He won an Emmy for best actor during the fifth season! You're full of shit! And just so you know, when Jack Bauer found out he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, he killed him. Jack Bauer gets played by no one."

"Stupid," said Henry.

"Listen," said Marcus, "Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird."

"Yeah, not to mention that if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris still has more money than you do," added Henry.

"Additional cashiers needed at the registers. Additional cashiers needed at the registers." The message relayed over the P.A. system but none of the three seemed to care.

"Well Jack sleeps with a pillow under his gun," countered Virgil. "And you know Professor Charles Xavier from the X-Men? He once tried to read Jack Bauer's mind. Now he's in a wheelchair."

"Those are probably Norris jokes people stole and used as Bauer jokes," declared Henry.

"Really? But I thought Chuck Norris doesn't need a gun?" said Virgil quickly.

"Well, maybe not that o-"

"Yeah, exactly. Shut the fuck up."

Henry just chuckled. "Regardless of all the Jack Bauer jokes there are, the guy sucks and that's it. It's all about Chuck Norris. No one even knows who Bauer is. Most of the jokes about him are stolen Norris jokes, and he's been around way longer than Bauer. If Texas Ranger and Federal Agent were to meet, Norris would roundhouse kick the shit out of Bauer.

By this point Virgil was fuming. "You're pissing me off."

The other two just scoffed. "What the hell man? You're getting mad over a fictional character dude. It's not like Bauer actually exis-"

A deafening explosion from the front of the store rocked the entire building, knocking the three of them to the ground. Racks of stored merchandise fell to the ground as well, littering the entire room.

"What the hell was that?" exclaimed Henry.

Marcus was still reeling from the jolt. "I . . . . don't know."

Virgil rose to his feet quickly and jogged over to the swinging door. Sticking his head out to see what had caused the disturbance, Virgil gasped instantly.

"Holy shit!" exclaimed Virgil, waving the other two over.

Marcus and Henry exchanged confused looks before moving to see for themselves. The entire front of the store had been completely destroyed. The glass windows were all shattered, fixtures and displays were burnt to a crisp, and cash registers were sprawled all over the place. Some people were still on the ground, others were screaming in fear, and others still were already shoplifting.

"What the hell happened?" asked Marcus, a look of incredulity upon his face.

But Virgil was already on the move. He ran towards the front of the store to ascertain the damage more closely. As he did, however, the sound of screeching tires caught his ears. A moment later, two UPS vans, painted entirely in black, burst through the front of the store, coming to an abrupt stop only ten feet from Virgil.

The back doors of both vehicles swung open and six armed men attired entirely in green, yellow, and orange jumpsuits, jumped out, each armed with AK-47s.

"Nobody move!" yelled the lead terrorist in a foreign accent. "You are now hostages of the People's Republic of Ethiopia! Failure to comply with our demands will result in ser-"

He was cut off however as a single bullet pierced his face. The other terrorists raised their weapons, but two of them fell to the ground instantly, both with their throats slit. The remaining three were baffled, as was Virgil. They fired wildly, forcing Virgil to retreat behind a shelf of clothes. That's when Virgil saw him.

Running at full-speed across the women's clothing section was none other than Jack Bauer himself, a look of stern determination across his face. One terrorist noticed him, but not soon enough. Jack twisted the man's wrist, causing the weapon to fall from his hand, and then proceeded to headbutt him with such force, that the terrorist's face literally shattered into pieces. Jack's forehead, although having just annihilated a man's face, remained perfectly clean.

Tossing the terrorist aside with relative ease, Jack walked over to the second man, twisted his arm a full 360 degrees, and then proceeded to force the man to swallow it.

As this was happening, the final terrorist began firing at Jack, but the rounds seemed to have no effect on him whatsoever. In fact, it was as if the bullets weren't even making contact with his body, even though they clearly were. The terrorist who's arm Jack had twisted had already swallowed just passed his elbow. Jack left him standing there in agony, and, still somehow deflecting gunfire, kicked one of the cash registers on the ground in the direction of the last terrorist. It exploded on impact, with a blast radius of nearly twenty feet. Miraculously, none of the hostages consumed in the blast were, Jack looked back at the terrorist who was now choking on his own arm. Blinking once, a bullet fired from seemingly nowhere and caught the man between his eyes.

All six terrorists were neutralized within a span of three seconds.

"Is everyone alright?" asked Jack.

Everyone nodded and cheered as police, SWAT, and medical personnel rushed onto the scene.

Jack walked over to where Virgil was hiding and extended his arm. "You okay, kid?"

Virgil was speechless. "You're Jack Bau . . . . but how . . . ?"

"That's right," declared Jack. "Jack Bauer, CTU."

"This is . . . . fucking incredible!" exclaimed Virgil, accepting Jack hand.

"When I'm involved it sometimes is," answered Jack. "And by sometimes I mean always."

"But you're a television character. How are you here right now?"

Jack seemed puzzled. "I don't understand the question."

Virgil thought to himself for a second before speaking again. "Wait, you're unarmed."

"Your grasp of the obvious is inspiring."

Virgil was confused. "How did you shoot the first guy, and slit the other two's throats if you don't have a knife or a gun?"

"I don't understand that question either."

"Nevermind," said Virgil. "How did you know there was going to be a terrorist attack here?"

"Well first off, I'm Jack Bauer. Second, I didn't know."

"So it's just a coincidence that you're here?"

Jack surveyed the room. "I sensed that someone at this store was bad mouthing me so I came to destroy them. It just so happened that an Ethiopian terrorist cell had targeted this store," explained Jack. "Now, what do you know about Chuck Norris?"

"Um, he's a famous martial artist and actor," answered Virgil. "Why?"

"I must find him and infiniate him."

"Infiniate? What does that mean?"

Jack chuckled. "I made it up. It's basically a combination of the definitions of annihilate, devastate, obliterate, and all those other words that mean "to destroy."

"Wow, that's pretty sweet," stated Virgil.

Jack nodded. "You're damn right it is. And in case you're wondering, yes, if I wanted to I could easily teleport to where Chuck Norris is and save myself an entire day, but then there would be no story for the readers to enjoy. Plus I've got a thing for beginning and ending things in exactly 24 hours."

"I understand," said Virgil, nodding. "When you say teleport, you mean like Goku's instant transmission from Dragonball Z?"

"Uh huh," said Jack. "Only mine's better. Now, let's get moving. We've got to find Norris by the end of today."

"Wait, you want me to go with you?" asked Virgil, perplexed.

"Yeah, why not?"

Virgil was overwhelmed. "Sweet. But what about the guys that were bad mouthing you?"

"You mean you're friends Henry and Marcus? I already took care of them."

"Wha-? How? When?"

Jack pointed at himself with his thumb. "I'm Jack Bauer."

Virgil grinned. "Right, sorry. But one last thing. This chapter is titled 10:00a.m. - 11:00a.m. But it's only been about ten minutes."

Jack returned Virgil's grin. "Time doesn't apply to me. If I say an hour has passed, then an hour has passed."

"Right, got it."

"Now, let's get moving" declared Jack. "We've got a hell of a day ahead of us."

10:59:57

10:59:58

10:59:59

11:00:00

Author's Note:

Well, hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter. I know it's a little short, but I wanna wait for your feedback before I decide to continue. If I do, you can expect chapters to be a lot longer than this one. So please, you comments and thoughts will be greatly appreciated.

One last thing, as I mentioned in the disclaimer, I'm planning on having Jack square off against other television show characters. I've got a few already in mind, but knowing what you guys would like to see would really help. So if you comment, feel free to suggest!