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-- I don't own H.P. If I did I'd be one happy camper.

Hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it, Penny --

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Free Shenanigans Anyone?

By Penelope Jones

Chapter One: Apple Juice Makes Me A Little Weird

I stood in the aisle next to my mother. She was squatted down with two cans of soup in her hands.

"Does chicken actually have healing properties or is it just nice?" she asked

"They say it is a fool who catches a cold in summer" was all I said.

"Don't be nasty to your sister" mum said standing up still frowning at the two cans of soup.

"Leek is good for colds" I muttered.

"Leek? What happened to bed rest and lots of throat lollies?" mum asked

"You're the one buying chicken soup"

"It's for dinner" mum said

"Soup in summer? The only soup I want is chilled… something. Can't we just have toast or something?"

"Lily you've been living off toast all summer don't you want some lettuce or something?" mum asked

"Toast is nice" I retorted with a frown. She shook her head and handed me two cans of soup.

"You pick…" she said and began looking at different stock flavourings.

"Sorry red but you're blocking the soup" a man said.

I turned and stepped aside

"Oh sorry" I said looking down. The dark haired youth stood up and smiled at me. I screamed at him and dropped the cans I was holding.

"Well… Lily Evans" he said I stared at him wide eyed.

"What are you doing here?"

"I know this may be just down right impossible for you to fathom but I eat too" he replied.

I'm Lily Evans, just about to begin my seventh and final year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm a witch hence the magic school. My whole family are muggles, non-magical people. So imagine the look on mums face when I received the letter from Hogwarts saying I'd been accepted when I hadn't applied. In fact my parents were so convinced it was a hoax the headmaster had actually come to our home to confirm it was fact.

I was pretty good at balancing my magic life with my normal one. In fact when I was at home it was basically wizard world free with the exception of homework. But never ever had I seen, in all my six summer vacations since being accepted, my fully pureblood wizard boyfriend grocery shopping.

"Well of course you eat. But don't they feed you at the halfway house?" I asked him.

Sirius Black stood at a nice 5'8 significantly taller then my 5'3. His long black hair was platted behind his back a few bits of his uneven hair fell over his face. He swatted them away and grinned.

"I don't live in a halfway house. I'm simply mooching off friends. As it happens Moony's place is actually in the next town. There's no decent food over that way so I come here to get…" he reached into his shopping basket and pulled out a packet of crisps. "These. They only sell them here so…"

By the way yes I did say boyfriend. I was under the impression he'd be very far away right now so had actually gone into shock. I quickly snapped out of it and tried to think of something to tell my mum.

"Lily…" mum said I turned

"Uh…Sirius this is my mum. Mum this is Sirius Black. He goes to my school" I said staring at her trying to see if I could send a message to her telepathically. 'Let's leave now'

It didn't work.

"You go to Lily's school?" mum asked. She seemed just as surprised as I was to see him out here in the normal world. He was school life. Mum was home life… they shouldn't mesh… ever.

Sirius smiled his gorgeous smile, the one he used to chat up girls and get out of trouble.

"Yes I do. Actually we're da-"

"Debating. We have a debating team" I said smiling at mum.

"Oh Lily is a champion debater what are you like?" mum asked

"I'm more of a master-" I elbowed him in the stomach and then beamed at mum.

"Oh Sirius… always have to be a comedian. Hey didn't you need to get some more bread?" I asked mum

"Your right… well it was nice to meet you Sirius" mum said before hurrying out of the aisle and out of sight.

"God you're an idiot!" I said and hit him.

"What? Me? I didn't know you hadn't told your parents you had a boyfriend"

"No I didn't because my parents are nice. They'd want to meet you then your family and your family would murder all of us"

"Hey! I'm sure they won't stab any one without being provoked" Sirius muttered I hit him again.

"Idiot" I said

"Hey wait till my parents hear I'm dating a debater" Sirius said

"Shut up" I said and went to walk off but he grabbed my arm and easily spun me around so I was leaning against the shelves.

"You could tell them I was orphaned or something. I like to believe it… it's basically true what with dad missing out on parole…" Sirius muttered leaning in closer. I glanced down the aisle but it was completely deserted.

"You want to meet my parents?" I asked looking back at him.

"No I… I don't like the fact that your home life and school life are so separate" he said moving even closer.

"Supermarket" I said we both looked around.

"I don't see anyone" he said.

"Except the stock boy" I muttered looking at the young employee who looked only fourteen.

"Let's give him a show" Sirius said staring intently at the stock boy who glanced around and frowned at us.

"Is it really my family… because if it's any consolation I hate them too" Sirius said "or is it you. Are you embarrassed by me?"

"No, no that's completely wrong-"

"Then why don't you want me to meet your parents?" he whispered. There was no need for him to speak normally he was so damn close. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well a lot of reasons…" I said awkwardly. I looked at his chest so I wouldn't be under his piercing gaze. He was very persuasive when he wanted to be.

"Like…" he said huskily I grinned then scolded myself.

"Like… my sister would hate you…"

"Hey my parents do already"

"No she hates wizards"

"So do I, always looking at you… undressing you with their eyes…" he said running a finger along the top of my shirt.

"A-and your not really what my parents expect in my boyfriend" I said breathlessly, cursing him for his control over me.

"Why? Do they expect some merit scholar or something?" he asked then softly kissed my neck making me gasp and all coherent thoughts slowly pour out of my head.

"A-a-are you… uh… would you…" I stuttered as my eyes slowly closed. He was gone. I opened my eyes and he was standing a good three feet away.

"I'd love to" he said with a smile. I looked around and saw my mum walking back into the aisle.

"Ah Mrs Evans allow me" Sirius said taking her shopping basket for her.

"Oh why thank you Sirius" she said smiling then looking at me.

"Your daughter here just invited me around for dinner I hope that's all right. We can reschedule if it's an inconvenience" Sirius said I stared at him

"Oh no of course that's fine, hope you like soup though" mum said smiling obviously falling for his charming lies.

"Love it" he said.

"Great" mum said "just drop by around six thirty"

"Uh actually…" I began

"Lily and I were gonna hang out for the rest of the day. Got a nice… debate to work on huh Lily?" Sirius asked my mouth fell open but I quickly closed it.

"Sure thing" I said nodding.

"Right well I'll see you at dinner then. It was nice to meet you Sirius… see you again tonight"

"The pleasure was mine" Sirius said handing her back her shopping basket. She gave us a quick wave before leaving the aisle.

"All right my princess where shall we go?" Sirius asked picking me up. I squealed in surprised then glared at him.

"If my mum sees"

"You can tell her that I'm your boyfriend"

"I just explained-"

"And I ignored you" he interrupted. I sighed and leaned back in his arms to pick up his shopping basket from the ground then sat back up and let him carry me over to the checkouts.

"I can walk you know"

"I'm conserving your energy… your going to need it" he said and kissed my neck making blush.

"Sorry… I know how the public displays of affection irritate you" he said and gently put me down in front of the checkout. I unloaded his groceries from the basket and then looked at him.

"You've got money right?" I asked as the lady began putting the items through.

"Of course" he said slipping an arm around my waist and pulling me close.'

"You're very clingy today" I said gently pulling his arm off me.

"Well I haven't seen you in a month I missed you"

"Sirius" I said

"All right I have been watching you at night. But I did miss your annoying whiney voice"

"My voice isn't whiny!" I snapped

"That's the one" he said chuckling. I rolled my eyes and glared at the wall. After the lady was all down Sirius paid her and we headed out into the parking lot. He led me across it and down the main street lined with shops.

"So did you take a car?" I asked then realised how stupid it was to ask if a wizard had taken a normal muggle invention such as a car.

"No I did not… I took the train"

"The train?" I asked frowning at him.

"Well not really" he said leading me to the station. We walked down the steps and into the underground station. But rather then leading me over to the ticket machine we walked into one of the public toilets. The light flickered above us and the cracked mirror wobbled dangerously as a train pulled up to the station.

"You ever Apparated before?" Sirius asked

"Only at school" I said

"Oh practise classes yeah I stuffed those up so bad. It's a bit disorientating at first but you'll be all right. Hold on" he said wrapping his arms around me. I did the same and rested my head on his chest. The world quickly faded and the nothingness crushed me from all around. Then in a split second it was gone and there was air and light. I breathed in deeply and glanced around. We were still in what appeared to be a public toilet but this one was made of chipped bricks and had the faint smell of urine and alcohol.

"You all right?" Sirius asked

"Just a little dizzy" I said nodding. He smiled and led me out of the toilet and into a bright sunny street.

"So where's Remus's house?" I asked

"Actually we're going to my flat"

"Wait… your flat? Why go to Remus's if you have a flat?"

"Because there's no washer at my flat"

"So you took your clothes to his house? There are Laundromats you know. And magic why didn't you just clean them like that?"

"Do I look like I know cleaning spells? Well I know one but that's for stains" he muttered.

"Well you are clumsy" I said making him smile.

"Only around you"

"Wow if were any more cheesy we'd be pizza" I said he laughed.

"You're very weird"

"Yeah I had some apple juice it makes me a little weird"

"Really?"

"Yeah it's all the sugar. So where do you live? And how did you afford a place?"

"Ah there are still a few members of the Black family who don't find my existence an abomination" he said moving all the shopping bags into his right hand so he could hold my left hand. I smiled and followed him down the bright street lined with beautiful houses.

"I really didn't think this was your kind of scene"

"Yeah but every back alley flat I wanted with leaky roofs were taken so here I am in sunny suburbia" he said pulling me onto the grass as a young couple pushed a pram along the sidewalk.

"Now my landlady is a little in your face, she'll do anything to get you round for tea" Sirius said as we stopped in front of a tall narrow building. He led me inside and glanced down the corridor before climbing up the stairs.

"Ah Sirius your back. Are you doing anything tonight?" a short plump woman asked. She'd appeared so suddenly that even Sirius had jumped back a bit.

"Yeah just hanging out with my girlfriend" he said pointedly then pulled me close to him.

"Lily this Diane my landlady. Diane this is Lily"

"Nice to meet you Lily, your much prettier then that brunette he brought over last week" Diane said smiling brightly at me.

"What brunette?" I asked turning to Sirius.

"Hah, there was no brunette" Sirius said

"Are you breaking up? My daughter is single you know Sirius, she's really quite pretty" Diane said.

"What brunette?" I repeated

"I've met her she's really something" Sirius said ignoring me completely.

"Well if your plans fall through you can always come for tea" Diane said

"I'll keep that in mind… thank you" Sirius said and led me up the stairs.

"Seriously what brunette?" I asked following him down the corridor on the third floor. He unlocked the door and held it open.

"What brunette?" I repeated. He just gave me a look so I walked into his apartment and flipped on the lights.

"Oh she's much prettier then the brunette"

"Shut up Freddie" Sirius ordered as he shut the door. I frowned at him as he walked past and followed him.

"Mirror on the wall" Sirius said I looked over and saw a full length mirror hanging on the wall. A twenty-something year old man stood inside and looked very bored.

"You have a talking mirror?" I asked hurrying over to it. Freddie stood up tall and proud.

"She's a mudblood" Sirius said I turned to glare at him.

"Sorry it's the parenting" he said and began to unload the shopping.

"Any messages Freddie?" Sirius asked.

"Yes" Freddie said then in a shrill voice cried "give me back-"

"Skip it" Sirius said "and any more from her"

"He doesn't like talking to his mother" Freddie whispered to me.

"Freddie! Messages" Sirius ordered.

"Next message. Hey Riri, happy birthday. Oh and mum wants her broche back"

"Hah!" Sirius said with a grin.

"Next message. Hey Padfoot happy birthday, we still going out tonight? Next message. Happy birthday Padfoot. Now give me back my book!"

"End of messages" Freddie said.

"Wow so he's like an answering machine" I said

"A what?" Sirius asked.

"Never mind" I said looking around his flat. It was small but seeing as he was probably here by himself it seemed a decent size. The furniture was mismatched but he'd probably just collected it from around. He hadn't bothered transfiguring them so they matched which strangely actually made the place seem more like him. With his mismatched personality constantly clashing with everything nearby.

"You can sit on it you know" Sirius said I looked at him

"Huh?"

"You've been staring at the couch for a bit. Figured you were battling your conscious about sitting down without being offered to do so" he said

I sat down on the bright green couch and looked up at him.

"You all right?" he asked sitting beside me.

"Fine… I've just… it's really stupid but… uh… I've never you know… been completely alone with a boy before"

"We're not completely alone Freddie is good at spotting my wandering hands" Sirius said making me smile.

"Uh… Sirius… is… today your birthday?" I asked frowning in thought.

"It's tomorrow…" Sirius said very hesitantly. I leapt up from the couch.

"I forgot your birthday!" I cried

"Lily it's all right I forgot my birthday until James's bloody owl pecked me then gave me cake"

"You forgot your own birthday?"

"Well it's in August so I'd usually be at home because of summer and all that. Well usually my parents just ignored me and I'd do anything, anything I could to avoid being beaten and… I just forgot. I mean ten years without one you just sort of forget"

"Wouldn't your friends-?"

"Yeah but I didn't exactly get my letters during the holidays. They learnt to save everything for the first day back so usually that was my birthday. Thanks to my drivers licence I now know it's the 13th" he said holding up his licence. I smiled at him

"I feel awful. I'll be right back" I said pulling out my wallet to check out much money I had.

"Lily you don't have to get me a gift"

"Well you just told me you haven't had a birthday in ten years" I said.

"Not technically but I did get presents eventually except of course from years seven to eleven but still…"

"Wait here" I said

"Lily. I will tie you to a chair if I have to. Do not get me anything"

"Oh kinky" Freddie said Sirius glared at the mirror then turned back to me. I slowly moved closer to him and straddled him wrapping my arms around his neck. I slowly began to roll my hips and was happy to see, well feel, it was having some effect on him. I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and slowly pulled it up before pulling it off completely. His hands moved and my breath hitched but he just grabbed my waist and gently lifted me and repositing me so I was sitting on his legs rather then right in his lap. He was staring at my chest and I was glad I'd decided to nick one of Petunia's bras. It was laundry day and she's always got heaps of clean ones.

"Wow… uh… no! You don't have to…" he stammered his gaze still fixated a little below my face.

"Great because I had no idea what I was doing…" I muttered and kissed him.

I took his face in my hands and titled it upward so I could kiss him. His arms slid around me and pulled me closer to him deepening the kiss. He then picked me up and carried me to a room off to the left. He flipped on the lights and then tossed me on the bed. He slowly climbed on top of me his eye a darker shade of grey then usual. He kissed along my neck biting and sucking. He found the right place on my neck just near my shoulder that made me melt and focused his attention there. I felt his hands sliding up my back trying to find the clasp for my bra. He stopped suddenly and pulled back.

"Wait when you said you had no idea…?"

"Yeah… I'm a virgin" I said he stared down at me wide eyed.

"What?"

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Wow first story very excited. So is it good, bad tell me what you thought in the form of a review, Penny.

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