A/N:
i can't believe the show did this to us.. until now my eye brows still couldn't relax, the only word come out from my mouth is "NO..No..no...no...NOOOOOO..." :'( :'( :'( still no...
But this is why this show is so awesome to watch..
I'm here to warn you before you read this.. expecting the worst.. then hate me in the end.. don't blame the show..
...
It has been one whole week that Clarke locked herself in the room. She talked, she eate, she walked out from the room and all, she is there but also not there. When Abby entered her daughter's room, she doesn't look up either, focusing only in her drawing. In fact, the whole ground surface in the room is covered by the drawings. There are drawing of tattoos, Lexa' tattoos; faces, Lexa's sweet smiling face, angry face, confused face, fighting form, sleeping forming etc. but everything in black, black like "her" blood.
"Clarke, later can you come to the clinic, you shouldn't stay at room all day", Abby ask with her eyes full with concern, "alright, mom", but Clarke never look up, no eye contact. Abby has been visiting her daughter a lot since she come back safely, she is worry about Clarke, worry that her depression will getting worse. So she made Clarke sit in the clinic, even though she is just sitting there, the mind yet again not there, she still hope that one day her daughter will come back to them. Abby keep talking to her, telling her the recent events that happened in and outside the camp. Pike had been executed, so the army of 12 clans left in peace too. The new commander promised to keep the coalition with them, she also keep complaining about the Jaha's gang. talking about the side effects of the new treatment from city of light. Telling her about how strange those people acting or gathering around and meditating. She also talked about Kane being the new chancellor, yet getting no reaction at all. Abby knows she can hear her, but is she listening?
...
This afternoon, one of Abby's patient pass away. the strange thing is, Jaha is there, the patient's wife is there, but they don't look sad at all, the wife only holding her husband face, whispering "may we meet again at the other side" with the smile still lingering around the corner of her lips. "Don't be afraid, we will see you at the other side" Jaha say. Then the husband finally end his last breath. Abby is so regretting asking Clarke to stay at clinic today, she don't want her daughter to witness another death. When she try to ask CLarke to go somewhere else to avoid the scene. But then she found Clarke staring at the back of Jaha, she saw the blank or maybe shock face in Clarke.
Clarke never pay attention to anyone since "her" death, and today, she still being the same, even when the patient is dying. But something caught her attention. Finally. It is not a thing, but rather a sentence that come out from Jaha. "Don't be afraid" "Don't be afraid." Le..Lexa said it too, when she was so hurt and losing so much blood. "Don't be afraid." the distant sound of Lexa keep on repeating in her mind. But she still sitting there, still and blank. But inside her brain, she is replaying all the moment she is with Lexa. Her heart is once again shattered in to million pieces.
...
After the dinner, Clarke pay no attention to the surrounding, just trying to get back to her room as soon as possible, to be surrounded by Lexa again, the drawings of Lexa. But then she is almost tripped by the person sitting on the ground, meditating. The scene hit her, she saw Lexa did this before, Lexa had the same satisfied smile while she reopened her eye from meditation. It is Jaha that rise from the ground, his followers as well "Sorry, Sir" is all she say. "Don't be, Clarke", then Jaha is about to turn and leave with his members, but is stopped by a hand grasping around his arm. "Wait, Jaha, the thing you were doing just now, is that what bring you to the other side?" "Yes" She then found the wife who just lost her husband this afternoon, "Did you meet your husband there?" "Yes, He is happier there, actually we all are" she reply enthusiastically. Now this kick start the long-not-functioning brain of Clarke. "If i join you, will i be able to see the death too? like .. like.. Lexa?" "Lexa? the ex commander of the grounders? Yes, I encountered her a few time in there (col) actually. And she is hot." a young man answered. a moment of silent, then they are leaving, "Can I join you all?" Clarke ask abruptly, then Jaha reply her "Of course! But too bad your mom took all the pills away, i will find you when I get back the pills" He smile genuinely. "oh...okay...thanks.."
...
Later, Clarke is not in her room, it is weird because normally (this whole week) Abby will always find her in her room. She asked around too see if anybody see Clarke or know where she is. Until Abby go back to her own room, her room is in a mess. everything falls out from the original place, she thought someone is stealing things from her room, she immediately rush to where she hide the pills from Jaha, it is not there anymore. Then she found Clarke, sitting at the side of hre bed, meditating, like the others did. "Oh hell no.." she rush to Clarke and see the whole bag of Jaha's pills beside her daughter. "Clarke! tell me you didn't take this, Clarke!". Then she reopened her eyes, with the same strangely satisfied smile, "Mom, it is okay, everything is find, you should trust this" it is the first time she saw her daughter smile so happily since she came back, but it is wrong, everything is wrong with the pills, she remember the side effect, it is the most painful memory and most important person you are going to forget. "Clarke, listen to me, do you remember Jack Griffin?" immediatwly go into doctor mode, she put her hand on both of Clarke's shoulders. "Mom, you are acting weird, of course i know daddy's name, and i just met him at the other side, maybe next time you should join us too, then we can have a family day" she suggest it like a child looking forward to her birthday party. "Okay, so do you remember Finn?" Abby relax just a centimetre, as least she still remember her dad, "Mom, why are you asking this? Are you okay?" "just answer me!", she urged. "Yes, i remember, until his last breath.. maybe next time i should apologize to him, don't know where he is staying at there.." she is think hard, like she is searching the imaginary map. At last Abby asked her last question, "Do you remember Lexa?" she say it slowly, carefully with each word, worry that will send her daughter back to the shock stage. "Who is Lexa?" Clarke ask like it is the first time she hear the name.. Abby let out a long, shaky sigh.. don't know how to continue. She ask again, "Mom~ who is Lexa? why are you crying?"
...
A/N
She want to meet Lexa in COL, end up she cant even remember her...TUT...nooooooo...
English is not my first language, all mistake are mine.