Alright, I'm sorry for disappearing for ages, and I WILL get back to doing Pokémon: Lelouch of the Rebellion, but it's hard to do an epic war when you're out of awesome, so I'll be doing this.
Now, I WAS going to do Black Lagoon of the Dead, and while it would be awesome to see Rock smash Zombie Balalaika's head in with a cricket bat, someone beat me to it. It's called Roanapur Apocalypse Birthday Bash. I'd send you a link, but... You know.
So here's something involving Super Smash Bros. Enjoy!
-}+{-
_\_ Welcome to the Super Smash Bros Winner-Stays-On Tournament. _\_ The ominous blue orb said in a mechanical monotone. _\_ Here you will fight until you lose, and the audience shall vote upon your next opponent upon each victory. _\_
Link looked around the massive silver hall and at the people around him. He recognised a few faces, other Super Smash Bros veterans like himself, including some he hadn't seen in years.
But most of the faces around him were completely new.
They looked at the orb floating above them, blue with a black cross in the lower left corner, if orbs had corners, with the lines from the cross running around the sphere's face to meet again on the other side.
_\_ Standard Smash Bros rules apply. _\_ the Smash Ball continued. _\_ Your objective is to knock your opponent out of the arena so they fall to their death. You shall be revived up to three times per battle, after which you shall be removed from the tournament. _\_
Link raised an eyebrow. An elimination tournament? Now this was new. Usually the tournament are all for fun, barring that incident with the subspace emissary a few years ago.
Although, he could understand the reasoning of an elimination tournament this time. With all these competitors, there was no other method feasible.
_\_ On completion of three consecutive victories, you shall be returned to the hall. _\_ the Smash Ball said, explaining the rules further as it floated above the crowd. _\_ This is to prevent the audience from tiring over seeing the same challenger without any variety. Of course, the audience vote may choose anyone from the hall to battle, so the battle shall continue until only one remains. Are there any questions. _\_
"How does this teleportation work?"
Link turned his head at the idiot who just asked such a stupid question. The teleportation worked because it did! You don't ask how this makes sense!
The idiot in question was a young red-haired girl in a tight bodysuit. She had her arm raised with an angry glare at the Smash Ball, as if she was morally against everything the blue sphere said.
_\_ Your body shall be duplicated and the original destroyed. _\_ The Smash ball said. _\_ The duplicate of your body shall be constructed on the Entry Pads when you enter the arena. Differences in your brain, primarily memories, shall be added to the duplicate when you re-enter the battle. _\_
"So, it's kind of like Gantz then?"
Link turned to see a young man in a black bodysuit with several silver discs upon it. _\_ No. _\_ The Smash Ball replied. _\_ This is nothing like the Gantz game. Shut up. Are there any sensible questions. _\_
"What happens to us if we're eliminated?"
Actually, Link had to admit that this was something he was interested about. Link did not think about defeat, but rather the consequences of defeating those he knew and were also fighting for a seemingly trivial matter.
_\_ Losers shall be forced to watch better fighters from the audience. Are there any other sensible questions. _\_
"Um…"
_\_ Yes your clothes shall be cloned with you. _\_ The Smash Ball told the girl. _\_ So will any weapons you brought in with you. Anything else. _\_
"Um… why do we have to fight?" a girl with long orange hair asked.
"Because we're here." A blue haired solider- Ike, told her before the orb replied. "Fragor Ergo Sum; I Smash Therefore I Am."
"But… but I don't want to…"
Link twisted his head around in shock.
Didn't want to fight?
He'd heard that such people existed, but…
What were they doing here if they didn't want to fight?
"I never asked to come here!" another person shouted, a young man Link couldn't see. "Why should I fight?"
Wait…
Were there people here against their own free will?
_\_ Sucks to be you. _\_ The Smash Ball said without sympathy. _\_ If you want to go home so badly, you better fight. Or not, if you want to stay and watch. _\_
Link glared at the ball. "What was that?" A young man with spiky black hair growled.
_\_ If your fights are entertaining, you will win points. _\_ The blue sphere explained. _\_ Points can be used to acquire weapons or abilities, an early passage home, or even just cake. _\_
Link had heard that promise before. No doubt, it was a lie as usual.
"So… the better we fight… the sooner we can go?"
_\_ No. _\_ The Sphere said. _\_ The more entertaining your battles, the sooner you may leave, if that is what you want. You cussers. _\_
"What about the losers?" Sonic asked angrily. "Those that get knocked out, what if they want to get home?"
_\_ Fat chance. _\_ The Smash ball almost sneered. _\_ Though I suppose you could ask nicely for other people to let you go home, or just wait until we have a winner. _\_
Link clenched his fist.
There was no honour battling an unwilling opponent.
Not a warrior's honour.
Link had little patience for that.
This completely went against his honour as a Smash Brother.
"What kinda joke isa this?" Mario asked angrily. "We're supposeda to enjoy the battles, nota be forced!"
_\_ The rules have changed, plumber. _\_ The sphere told him. _\_ You are not in mushroom kingdom anymore. _\_
Link gritted his teeth as the crowd around him quickly became united in uproar. A few knew about the Smash tournaments.
Most didn't know, but were intrigued by the whole deal.
But forcing those who didn't want to battle…
_\_ Shut the cuss up. _\_ The Smash Brawl told them. _\_ Incase you forgot, I am your only ticket home. If you want to leave, you will do as I say. _\_
"Well, about that."
Everyone turned to see a man in a brown overcoat swagger slightly with his hands in his pockets. "You see, I happen to have a space ship that can go pretty much anywhere and anywhen, so you can't exactly stop me from pretty much just taking whoever I like."
_\_ Your little blue box does not work across dimensions, so feel free. _\_ _The blue orb snapped. _\_ Otherwise, shut up, you noob. _\_
"Well, that's just it really." The man said, hopping up onto a table and pacing around. "See, I'm the Doctor, and I pretty much own all of time and space. So!" he shouted, clapping his hands together and rubbing them with a grin as he turned from the blue sphere. "I can pretty much…" He spun around and pulled a silver device from his pocket and pointed it at the Smash ball, "Do this."
He pushed a button.
The silver stick glowed blue and a tinny, high-pitched whirring sound sang through the room.
_\_ Are you done. _\_ The Smash Ball asked. _\_ Or do you have a sonic hammer you want to try using. _\_
The Doctor pulled his tool back into his coat. "Right then." He said, hopping off the table. "Worth a try."
_\_ Is there anything else, or can we finally begin. _\_
A young boy in a white shirt nervously raised a hand. "Um, I can't fight without my Eva…"
"Baka!" the red-headed girl from before shouted at the boy who just spoke. "You're thinking of the Evangelion now?"
_\_ Curb stomps are no fun. _\_ The sphere stated. _\_ Arrangements shall be made. Are there any other sensible questions like that one. Because that was a sensible question. The kind I would have no objection to answering. Are there any more like that or just more stupid ones. _\_
"Uh, am I really gonna have to fight these guys who have guns and sword, using my boxing gloves?" a short young boxer asked, raising his gloved hand.
_\_ No, you can take them off if you'd like. _\_ the ball replied. _\_ And do not forget the people with magic, robot suits, alchemy, lightsabers, telekinesis, or superpowers. Ha ha. _\_
"Hey, that isn't fair!" another man shouted.
_\_ Curb stomps are no fun. _\_ The Smash Ball repeated. _\_ Arrangements shall be made. Is there anything else? _\_
Marth raised his arm into the air and shouted something in a language Link didn't understand.
_\_ Absolutely. _\_ The orb said. _\_ I like your style. _\_
Link looked down to see blue light coming up from below.
So he was first.
LINK
VS
MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS
Link landed near a steel rooftop in a floating segment of wasteland. There was a water tank over there and a small maze of wooden fences, a good source of cover for his foes.
No matter. Link knew that while they hid the enemy right now, they would fall and rise again throughout the battle.
What worried him was that there were multiple opponents, but only two teams.
So they would unite against him.
"It's morphin' time!"
Link twisted around to face his enemy, but heard a voice some distance behind him.
"Mastodon!"
"Pterodactyl!"
"Triceratops!"
"Sabre-Tooth-Tiger!"
"Tyrannosaurus!"
So the enemies were all around him.
With a unified "Hyah!", five helmeted people in brightly coloured costumes somersaulted over the fences and landed in the dust around Link, posing with their weapons.
Link hadn't ever seen weapons like them before. They didn't seem sharp. There was no blade to the Black Ranger's axe. There was no string or arrows to the Pink Ranger's bow, and even then it was too short and rigid to actually provide any power to fire anything even if there was.
There was no grip to the Red Ranger's sword, and the Blue and Yellow Rangers' knives were almost too short to actually use.
Still, Link had seen many bizarre forms of weaponry in the past tournaments, and knew it would be foolish to write them off without seeing their capabilities.
Link drew the Master Sword from over his shoulder and tugged the shield onto his arm. It was five-against-one, and his opponents were highly synchronized. This wouldn't be easy…
That said, however, his opponents seemed confused.
"Wait… this guy's human!" the blue one shouted.
"Hey, can we talk about this?" the pink one asked, loosening her stance.
Seeing an opening, Link snapped his shield arm up and launched a hookshot, grabbing the distracted Pink Ranger by the helmet and dragging her towards him with a scream. "Kimberly!" the Red one shouted.
Link slammed her to the ground, releasing his hookshot as he slammed his blade down to the ground by her head. The shockwave sent her into the air as Link jumped up after her, spinning as he smashed the flat of his blade into her side, launching her across the small floating wasteland.
She fell over the edge and screamed as a pink explosion blasted up from the abyss.
Link launched his hookshot to the water-cooler, dragging him to safety as the Pink Ranger floated down on her platform, floating into intangibility as her safe-time protected her.
Link checked the score board.
3-2
So, they only have three respawns between the five of them.
If he targeted the weak one again, then that would even the playing field.
"I don't get it…" Revy asked from the waiting room as she watched the battle. "Why didn't he just kill the dumb cuss?"
"Killing the enemy doesn't achieve anything." Snake told her. "You still need to throw the corpse over the edge to score, and you can't do that when there are four other enemies fighting you." He smirked. "Found that out the hard way myself."
She turned around. "That's some useful advice." she replied. "What's in it for you?"
"Guns are one of the least helpful weapons you can use." Snake told her. "Besides, we're supposed to help the Newcomers."
Two-Hands shrugged with a smirk. "Well, thanks." She said, waving with the back of her hand as she turned back to the battle. "So, knock 'em over the edge, not kill." She thumbed behind her. "Whaddya do against lardo?"
Snake turned around to see Bowser playing a game of chess against Mario and grinned. "RPG's usually do the trick." He told her.
Link fired an arrow in the white cloth covering the Blue Ranger's neck, but he pulled it out without any serious injury.
Furrowing his eyes, he shot another one, this time into the Blue's chest.
The Blue Ranger was thrown into the air by the speeding arrow. So he was taking damage…
Link raised an eyebrow as the five Rangers got together, some on their knees, and began to combine their weapons.
It was almost as if they were trying to create a siege crossbow…
There was a glow as energy was drawn into the mouth of the combined weapon, and Link was reminded of Samus Aran's beam cannon.
Link's eyebrows shot up as he got to his feet and ran across the rooftops. There was a roaring sound behind him and he jumped as the building he was standing on was obliterated. He would have been completely blown clear by that attack if he hadn't dodged.
He heard an overhead attack and rolled, blocking the Red Ranger's blade with his shield as he got to his feet and drew his sword.
The Red Ranger made a series of movements as the other rangers somersaulted into position behind him. "Come on!" the Red shouted, challenging the Hero of Hyrule to come at him.
Link glanced down at their feet.
The water tank.
He subtly dropped a bomb from his pocket and charged through the Rangers with his shield. They were knocked harmlessly aside, some even dodging him altogether, but the damage Link inflicted was enough.
Link dove from the water tank.
The bomb exploded.
Water blasted the Rangers into the air.
The Blue, Yellow and Red Rangers were completely blown clear, though the Black and Pink Rangers managed to recover in time to climb back onto the battlefield.
Link rushed into the middle of the field as the Blue and Red Rangers appeared on flashing platforms overhead.
Of course, they were the ones with the most damage before the explosion, so they'd get thrown the furthest.
Link drew his sword, twirling it as the two Rangers dropped from above. "Where's Trini?" The Red Ranger asked.
_\_ You only get three respawns between you. _\_ the Smash Ball explained. _\_ He's killed four of you, so no more respawns for you. Incidentally, you have yet to kill him once. Get back in there noobs. _\_
Link looked up.
The Smash Ball.
_\_The fight isn't up here._\_ it said to Link.
The Hylian suddenly went flying to the left as a pink energy blast struck his side. Link rolled to his feet as the Blue Ranger's foot flew into his face, and Link flew even further than before.
The Black Ranger charged at him with one arm outstretched and the axe behind him. Link recovered in the air and launched an arrow, striking the Black Ranger back as the Red Ranger leapt over him and kicked Link in the head, sending him rolling over the side.
"Alright!" the Red Ranger shouted as he landed near the edge.
Link raised his arm and fired his hookshot, grabbing hold of the desert fence and dragging him back onto the platform.
The three other rangers ran up and stopped behind the Red Ranger. "That's just not fair!" the Pink Ranger shouted.
Link swung his arm right, swerving in the air to avoid being pulled into his enemies.
The Red Ranger ran along the edge of the platform as Link came closer, jumping into the air and punching down on the hero as he got close.
Knuckle cracked nose.
Link lost grip.
He fell.
The Red Ranger landed safely in the dirt.
The pink energy exploded from the abyss.
Jason turned around to see a flashing platform descend from above.
"Just two more to go." He said to himself. "Let's go!"
"There you are, baka."
Shinji Ikari looked up from his corner to see the red-head that had caused him so much pain in his life. "Asuka." He groaned. "Hey."
She sat down next to him on the floor in a huff. "What was all that about earlier?" she asked him. "Do you honestly want to get back in those things?"
"Well, no, but-"
"Then what?" Asuka snapped. "What stupid plan have you got now?"
Shinji looked up with determination. "I want to win."
"Huh?" Asuka asked in sheer disbelief. "What?"
"Look around." He told her. "People. Lots of people."
"What're you getting at?" she sighed. "We've seen people before."
"Where did they come from?" Shinji asked. "Some of them want to get home. Somewhere nice. Somewhere where they would want to go back to. Somewhere where third impact didn't happen."
"You think they come from other dimensions?" Asuka asked him. "Are you really that stupid?"
"Asuka, don't you want to go with them?"
The redhead stopped dead at the thought.
"The ball wants us to fight and to be entertaining." Shinji continued. "If we do, we get points and can use them to get favours." He smiled with determination. "What if… we do well… can we go to someone elses world where we won't have to be alone?"
Asuka turned her head away, pulling her knees in closer.
"…Baka…"
"No way…"
Shinji looked up to see a large blonde man walk up to them with a cigarette in his mouth. "No way… you guys Shinji and Asuka?"
That got them interested. "H-how… how do you know who we are..?" Shinji asked him.
"Man, seriously?" the blonde replied with a grin, squatting down opposite them. "Man, you guys are from my favourite TV show ever!" he started looked around. "So… where's Rei?"
"TV show..?" Asuka asked. "Wait, what do you mean Rei?"
The blonde man realised his mistake. "Oh…" he gasped. "Oh you guys are after End of Evangelion…" he ran his fingers through his hair. "Cuss man…"
"What do you mean, End of Evangelion..?" Asuka asked, almost snarling. "What do you know?"
The man sighed, pulling the cigarette from his mouth. "The name's Onizuka." He told them. "Where I'm from, you guys were in a TV show called Neon Genesis Evangelion." He looked at their disbelieving faces with sympathy as he replaced his cigarette. "You guys… you're the only ones left… huh..?"
Neither of the two children could say a word.
A… A TV show..?
That's… impossible…
"Hey, you're not alone though." Onizuka told them hurriedly, thumbing over his shoulder. "That guy's from a show called Fist of the North Star, the scrawny guy there's from Death Note, but whatever you do, don't tell the brunette that's talking to everyone that she's from a show called The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya." He shook his head. "World might end if we do. Oh, sorry."
"N-no, it's fine…" Shinji managed. "S-so we're… fictional, back where you're from?"
"The whole shebang." Onizuka shrugged. "Second impact, Eva, Angels, none of it."
Shinji smiled.
"That's good." He said, glancing at Asuka. "That's good…"
Link took brief refuge behind the wall, panting for breath.
Once they got their heads together and began focusing on the battle, these Rangers were tough.
Their teamwork, though unconventional, was almost pre-choreographed, like they could predict his moves and were using them to their advantage.
But that was impossible, considering how easily he was beating them before.
He'd managed to take out the Blue Ranger since then, but it was a fight.
Link knelt down to pick up a power tomato and bit into it, recovering his energy.
His feet suddenly felt much more attracted to the ground- that was another thing he'd noticed in these Smash Bros tournaments- the more damage you took, the easier it was to get thrown into the air.
As if the whole thing was designed to entertain others.
Perhaps the Smash Ball hadn't changed as many rules as Link thought.
He grabbed the energy sword on his left and drew his sword, swinging them both in his hand as he smashed down the wall and charged for the Rangers.
The surprise didn't last long, as the Pink Ranger cartwheeled back and drew her blaster. The Black and Red Rangers charged in with their weapons and attacked from both sides.
Link blocked both blades with his own sword and shield, spinning the energy sword behind him to send the Black Ranger flying backwards. He pushed the Red Ranger forwards and deflected the Pink Ranger's ranged attacked with his shield as he tugged the boomerang from his belt and hurled it at the Black Ranger, sending him backing off the edge.
"ZACK!" The Red Ranger shouted as the pink blast burst from the abyss.
Link grunted.
Two left.
Catching his boomerang, he jumped to the side and threw it at the Pink Ranger, knocking the bow from her hands as he drew his own and fired an arrow at her, launching her through the walls as the Red Ranger came from behind.
Link twisted around and blocked the Ranger's sword with his own, leaving his back open for the Pink Ranger's laser blast. He flew into the air, but recovered and threw a bomb at the woman, sending her hurtling into the abyss.
The sky grew dark.
Link broke out in a cold sweat.
He landed on the ground and span in the dirt as the glowing Red Ranger punched the earth.
"DINOZORD!" he shouted. "COME FORTH!"
The platform shoot and split as a massive, red dinosaur rose from underneath. The Red Ranger jumped impossibly high and landed inside it as the ground closed up.
Link set his eyes in determination.
This was gonna be hard.
Tossing the energy sword aside, Link launched a grapple hook onto the Dinosaurs armour as it took a shaky step towards him. He shot forward, up onto the monster, landing on its shoulder and hoisting himself up.
He ran along the shaking shoulder before jumping onto the red head of the monster, stabbing his blade in for grip.
The head fell forward as another head from within came forward.
Link pushed himself up, abandoning his blade to jump onto the new head.
Once he set himself up, he used his grappling hook to grab his blade and pulled it out, bringing it into his hand.
Then the horns from behind snapped out from behind the Zord's head, pushing Link over the edge and falling.
With a grunt, Link twisted in the air and fired a hookshot at the Zord's dinosaur head, grabbing it and pulling himself in.
The dinosaur fell into the earth as the Red Ranger leapt out from it and sliced Link across the chest, hurling him into the abyss in a shower of sparks.
Jason landed gracefully as a pink burst of energy exploded in the chasm below.
He turned around as Link descended on a flashing platform, ready for battle.
The Red Ranger spread his legs wide and got his sword ready to attack.
Link hopped off the side of the platform, still flashing white as the Red Ranger charged.
Jason stabbed.
His blade passed through Link as if he wasn't there.
Link drew his blade and sliced the Red Ranger through the chest before his invincibility ended.
The Ranger fell to the ground in two pieces.
Link reached down and grabbed the corpse, carrying the halves in his arms and tossing them over the edge.
The pink blast shot up and warmed his face.
GAME SET!
THE WINNER IS…
LINK!
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Now taking suggestions for who Link's next opponents should be. I'll do the ones I find interesting, not the majority vote.
And I'll be doing more of these scenes outside of the battle arena too, so ideas for those too.
And yes, some of these guys will be fictional to other guys. Should make things fun outside of battle.
And I won't be doing anyone from fanfiction. Remember, no curbstomps.
And concerning Goku, Superman and whatnot, Arrangements Will Be Made. There will be no curbstomps.