a flower, a beast, & a legend
by Lien Rur

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When Sakura first confesses to Naruto, his heart breaks.

He should be condemned for wanting to kiss Sakura when she does, breathlessly, cheeks pink and eyes puffy from both crying and alcohol. He feels regret crawl under his skin when he lets Sakura peck him on the cheek and nuzzle her face into the safe crook of his neck, because he knows when she wakes up in the morning she will forget, or pretend to, and he would play along because he likes her.

He likes her.

There is reason in that, however - her bright eyes and pretty hair captivated him the first time they met. A little kid crush, a catalyst to impress - and sometimes he would impress her, he likes to think, by being amusing, or saying the right things, because she doesn't pinch him in the arm with a scolding hot on her tongue. It is ten years later and they have been together more than apart. Naruto has seen her blossom from afar: from a child fumbling around petty insecurities to a pretentious teenage girl yelling about those insecurities. He has seen her grow with him, alongside him, as they work themselves to the bone in part time job to part time job. He always recalls the times they work as a team and in the same breath remembers the sheer joy and pride in being able to finally secure an apartment for themselves, to have enough resources to send Sakura to school, to working around each other's schedules but always making sure to have time together. It pains him because that's how happy he gets thinking about it, about her.

So when Sakura stops crying over the television show and something else, and she crawls into his lap laughing, patting his arm, and going "I love you so much, Naruto" in broken gasps between her giggles, he feels himself empty his own guts.

He is supposed to be happy, he assumes, but throws that conclusion out the window when Sakura starts slurring. He knows she loves him and cares about him. He knows she is aware, because he has never been subtle. Sakura respects him as much as he adores her, so it stings, even if she is drunk - especially that she is drunk.

"I should marry you," her giggles are calming down but she is still slurring. Naruto thinks she might sound like she's singing to herself. "We're practically married, living in the same house. Doing chores. Domestic. Stuff."

He forces a chuckle at this despite the mounting stings in his chest but it comes out choked. Sakura's drunk, so he doesn't care about how it sounds. As long as she doesn't see his face.

"Naruto," she begins, voice solemn and straight suddenly, as though she hasn't been giggling drunkenly for the past twenty minutes. "When do you think Sasuke-"

That's it. Naruto's consciousness blocks any more words from her and he nods at her instead, grinning, wrapping his arms around her even as she giggles again and pats his arm. "You're being so silly."

"This isn't, silly," she huffs between coughing laughter and Naruto feels invincible, even for a second. "It's a seer-serious question. I love you, so 'm askin' you."

It is there again, and Naruto braces himself for the sting that comes. His arms are still wrapped around her tightly and awkwardly. He pulls away and slides down against the couch so he is nearly lying on the floor. "Don't…"

She isn't hearing him. She can't hear him over laughing at herself, waving her hands as she talks. "When do you think Sasuke will. You know. Get his ass in gear, you know what you say? And finally live with us."

"You don't want him around," Naruto spits out before he can stop himself, and he feels bile rise in his throat and tears prick his eyes. "I lived with him a good while before I moved in with you. He smells like garbage all the time."

"You smell like Mountain Dew all the time. That's the same," she pauses, eyes vacant before nudging her nose into his hair. Naruto tries his best not to flinch. She scrunches her nose and sits back up again, giggling. "That's the same thing."

Naruto is a masochist, he decides, because he is running his mouth and prodding her to talk. "Why do you want him around here?"

Sakura seems to think for a bit. It takes a while for her to reply, so Naruto looks up at her from the TV and catches an upside-down view of her smiling into her hand. Naruto feels his throat tighten.

"He's always been… Us. Y'know? He belongs to us. He's safer and happier with us. It's always dangerous when he's out and about, doing…" Her eyes gloss. Naruto thinks she is about to burst into tears, but she wipes at them and keeps smiling. He thinks he's not the only masochist. "Doing everything and anything that can get him hurt really bad."

Naruto licks his lips and sits up; his head spins because the alcohol is getting to him but he doesn't care. He's only drinking beer now, anyway. He hears Sakura lean against his back and wrap her arms around his chest.

"I don't get it, Naru," she is giggling but Naruto knows there are tears streaming down her face. As many tears he wishes he could shed. "I don't get why he just doesn't live with us. I know he doesn't hate… H-hate us, as much, as he acts like it."

Naruto gulps his beer and feels his eyes tear up. He doesn't know if it's because Sakura's hurting him, or he's hurting for her, or he's hurting with her, because he loves Sasuke too.

"Why doesn't he come back?"

"It's not as easy as we think," is Naruto's sharp reply, which shocks himself (he is quivering in tears, now) and silences Sakura. The girl merely breathes against him, tightening her hold around him, and Naruto is trying to still his shaking shoulders.

"He'll come around, right?" Sakura's voice is a little above a whisper, but Naruto doesn't fail to hear it. He never fails to hear Sakura out.

He bites down on his lower lip, doing the best he can to stop a sob from ripping out his throat, because Sakura is petting and rubbing his shoulder. In a small voice, she hums, "Or we'll get him. It'll be okay."

When Naruto confesses to Sakura, his heart is broken frequently.

He likes to think it akin to when he breaks his bones into small little fractures, and when they heal, they're much stronger. Each time he confesses he means it to be that way, because he is as frank as they can come, and Sakura understands every time. She brushes him off gently before proceeding with her day like it is part of routine.

It might as well be routine, but Naruto doesn't confess to her all that frequently - he is just hurt quite often. He has confessed four times his entire life: the first time was when they were in the orphanage and she had caught him in her web of beauty and nonchalance. The second time was in the same orphanage, but they were older, surrounded by close friendships that dwindled because the good children began getting picked off, and Naruto had been afraid that Sakura, because she was good, would be next.

The third time was when they managed to escape before any one of them could be picked, dashing away from the building like it was on fire and teaming up together to survive in a city full of rats and venomous humans. Naruto confessed both his love and a vow to protect her (and Sasuke, he adds with a haughty grin).

The fourth was the most casual that he almost forgets it ever happened. They were seventeen and just moved into a small, decent house that they were actually legally occupying for once, and were paying for, with Sakura's waitressing money and Naruto's random gigs and Sasuke's more questionable sources. Although he moved in with them, Sasuke was practically non-existent, and Naruto half-joked about getting married and adopting Sasuke instead. Sakura half-snorted at the half-joke and murmured half-heartedly, "I'd rather marry him," before counting their budget. It is easy to forget because so many conversations like that happen between them, or between him and Sasuke. He only remembers because as lighthearted as the memory seems it stabs him whenever he remembers, like a slight and seemingly painless papercut.

What is more forgettable are all the confessions he doesn't say, and doesn't care to. But it is apparent. He gazes at Sakura like he is planning to give her the world (and that is absolutely true), or that she is his world, but that back when he was younger. It is not any different, he thinks. When he catches her eye he smiles, sometimes sheepishly when she doesn't tear her look away and holds his eyes instead, and gives him a soft, sorry smile. He knows that sorry can't be for anything else.

She rejects him clearly, but gently. She is firm to be clear but she is not heartless when she refuses him.

Throughout everything they have been through, Naruto accepts the reality of loving and being loved unconditionally, but not in the way she'll let him give the moon to her, or whatever romantics usually do. He would rather keep their home safe and steady, like she has always wanted, like he has always hoped, and do things like go to school, perhaps find a job for Sakura where her back isn't about to break, and fix up a situation for them to be together peacefully with Sasuke. No questioning their safety or reality or Sasuke being there. Just together, even if he is to be rejected all his life.

So he is shocked to his core - feet stiff on the ground and eyebrows shooting up at his forehead - when he casually plants a kiss on Sakura's cheek, expecting a slap on the wrist or a bloody nose if she's not in the mood for it… and he gets a kiss back.

Right on his left cheek, slightly wet, warm. She is out the door and on her way to work when he snaps out of his daze. He doesn't think he can do anything if she stayed back.

"...What?!"

He yells into the empty apartment and wails for about five minutes, throwing pillows and screaming into them, kicking the air in a bad mix of happiness and confusion at the potential unreality of what just happened.

He calls Jiraiya numerous times, hoping to yell at someone who can bounce things back at him, but the old man doesn't pick up once. He is about to leave Jiraiya with a twenty-first missed call when there is a knock on the door.

When Sasuke confesses, Naruto…

He does not know what to think. No one would. He bets his life on it.

Obviously Naruto would not be the one to confess - there is nothing to confess. So Sasuke confesses to him, and it takes two awkward, excruciating hours to wrap his mind around it.

It has been nearly three hours since Sasuke came knocking on the door, stiffly demanding to be let in, before dropping the bomb on him. For what, Naruto is still wondering. He has to recount things slowly from the kitchen counter where he is leaning against, glass of orange juice in his clammy hands, eyes darting at everywhere but the dark haired man who sits on the couch rigidly and with a blank, dry stare.

Sasuke has been away for a few very long months. His absences are longer than his visits, which are sporadic and total to less than his fingers. Each visit lasted an average of an hour and a half, consisting of him checking the area they lived in, watching the perimeters like a hawk, and doting on them both, Sakura mainly. His version of doting, anyway, which usually led to him having to examine their belongings and the state of the apartment ("Naruto can't tell when something is about to fall apart." "I fixed that last night, you goddamn-"), rummaging through groceries only to take nothing. He did not leave anything either - no gifts from whatever escapades he became involved in, not that Naruto or Sakura expected anything. They expected, and felt entitled to at least some answers. Sasuke, in every visit, would thoroughly ignore them both, no matter how teary-eyed Sakura would get or how close Naruto got to breaking down and punching the answers out of him. It would be a series of "where have you been?" "I'm glad you're still alive" "Where did you get that scar?" and nothing from Sasuke. It drove the both of them crazy, and made it painful every time Sasuke bid them a quick, almost cold goodbye and darted off to god knew where.

Sasuke cares. Of course he does, because if the more than ten years of fighting against the world hasn't made him care for them, nothing ever could.

At this, Naruto growls, baring his fangs as he whips his head up at Sasuke, who merely narrows his eyes at him.

"You come in here," Naruto begins, and his voice is thicker with anger than he thought. "Dressed in the cleanest fuckin' clothes I've seen you in and with a bruise on your neck like it's nothing after disappearing for four weeks into whatever hell you happen to go to and proceed to ask me the fuck out."

Silence keeps the tension in the air thick for a while, and a second before Naruto snaps into attacking Sasuke, the latter, with his brows furrowed and mouth in a fine scowl, speaks. "Is that a no?"

Naruto attacks him. "YOU-"

Sasuke is quick on his feet but doesn't run away when Naruto slides over the counter to the living room and aims a punch square at his stomach. Sasuke dodges easily and catches Naruto's wrist in a grip that's too strong for his movements to be this fluid before pulling him down to the carpet. He pins the blonde's hands in his sides and squeezes him with his weight on his chest. When Naruto wiggles weakly, Sasuke drives his hand into the other's neck, intending to choke but remaining as steady as his breath.

"Weak," Sasuke spits out, and Naruto stills in anger and, fear, he admits lightly, as well as a bubbling excitement. He remembers the last time Sasuke's hand was wrapped around his throat like this. Naruto only feels chills.

"I don't wanna know where the fuck you learned that," Naruto spits back out with less venom because Sasuke's so close and he smells so strong. His hair is minty and his breath is thick but cool. Naruto tries looking at him more closely to see if he isn't made of ice. "I don't wanna know where the fuck you went and left us for."

Sasuke's eyes harden at this and Naruto has the gall to laugh...nearly. "I didn't leave. I never left."

"Months without seeing you and no explanation at all," Naruto grits out, trying not to pale as the hand around his neck flinches and he thinks Sasuke might just choke him to death. "Not even to Sakura-chan. Just her, at least..."

"It was work. You know that-"

"It's always work!"

"Listen," Sasuke yells, but he doesn't. Naruto realises Sasuke's face is so close that he sounds like he's yelling, and that it's hard to see his eyes. When Naruto sees them underneath the long dark of Sasuke's hair, he feels his heart jump. "It's always work because it's all I can do. I fucked up a few years ago and trapped myself in a deal that I couldn't break away from. Not until a week ago, and I realised I could finally live with you guys."

"That's not an excuse..." Naruto starts and his reasoning is so weak that it shows, and it makes Sasuke angry.

"If I had brought myself here, both of you would have been dead."

Naruto is understanding his situation, slowly, now, but his mind fails to wrap itself around the vague background Sasuke's telling him and instead focuses on the slight falter in Sasuke's voice, like there's a hitch in his throat he barely managed to smooth out. Naruto is filled to the brim with heat, a gentle warmth, and beneath it something painful because he realises, a second later, that he missed Sasuke so, so much.

He doesn't talk, but he keeps his eyes wide open and challenging as he looks up at the other man - who, the last time he ever got a proper look at his face, still looked like a boy. His jaw is sharp now and his skin is peppered with cuts and bruises. His lips look red and Naruto swallows the lump in his throat. His eyes are what he missed the most, his new epiphany tells him, because they are looking at him now with nothing but hot desperation - not unlike the cool anger he always sports. He can stay like this, Naruto muses, and schools his face into an observant one. Sasuke moves his hand away but doesn't get off.

Keys jangle out the door one moment and swing open in another, and the airy sing-song voice of Sakura echoes in the room. "Naruto, they let me off early-"

She drops her bag on the floor and the two boys flinch up at her. All is frozen, even the air, and Naruto waits for the picture to break before it suffocates him. Sasuke shifts above him, meaning to get off, but Naruto grabs his wrist and holds him in place as he sits up. It doesn't take long for a shrill cry to fill the house as Sakura leaps at them, sobbing grossly, all snot and tears and incoherent yelling in the midst of hugging and kissing them both.

Lien: thank you so much for reading. here's another maybe collection. itll be AU oneshots, NaruSasuSaku-centric, though some chapters might be more (or exclusively) SS/SN/NS, but i will warn you beforehand. These oneshots also occur in the same universe but it will be not in chronological order, and the mood/tone of each shot will depend on mine. i will also be posting this on AO3. Crits are welcome among reviews, because I might listen (keyword: might). this is all for fun after all. thanks again!