Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT THE GIANT DOUGHNUT! AND THE COFFEE!
"SIRIUS BLACK!" James Potter screamed, "WHAT IS THIS THING?"
"I DON'T KNOW!" Sirius shouted back, "IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT DOUGHNUT AAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH!" At that precise moment the giant doughnut had leaped at Sirius and trapped him in its unholy hole. "GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!"
"Wazzup?" Remus had woken up as Sirius and the giant doughnut landed on him, "AARGH!" he yelled as he saw the giant doughnut. Suddenly the doughnut gave a huge lurch and dragged Sirius towards the open patio doors.
"HEEEELLPP MMEE!" Sirius screamed, and started punching the doughnut.
"EAT SIRIUS!" James shouted, "EAT FOR YOUR LIFE!"
"I CANT" Sirius wailed, "I NEED COFFEE!" James started rummaging through his schoolbooks to find a coffee-making spell, but he couldn't. Sirius was now hanging onto the doorframe by his hands, his legs hanging in the air. The doughnut was pulling him towards the edge of the balcony.
"MOONY!" Sirius shrieked, "MAKE ME SOME COFFEE!" Desperately, Remus waved his wand and muttered and incantation under his breath. Suddenly James screamed like a girl, and a gigantic cup of frothy cappuccino landed on him.
"REMY!" Sirius shouted,
"WHAT?" Remus shouted back as he pulled James from underneath the giant mug,
"IS IT DECAF?"
"YES!"
"GOOD!" And with that, Sirius gave an almighty pull, and flew through the air, and landed with a huge splash in the cup of coffee. He started to gobble the doughnut down greedily, and the doughnut gave a piercing shriek as it was eaten. After Sirius had eaten it all, he vanished the cup and lay down on his bed, it gave an enormous creak and he smiled appreciatively,
"It had a jam filling too." he yawned, and fell asleep.
During the night there was a sudden thunder storm, lightning struck the Gryffindor tower and freaky music began playing in the background. Suddenly Sirius' body began to bulge and morph, he was turning into a giant doughnut! With a coffee-cream filling! Shock! Horror! Disgraceful tastes! KILLER DOUGHNUTS! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!