I've never written Santana before. I've never even really thought about it. But after seeing the new episode I had to do a oneshot. I haven't looked, but I pretty sure there will be lots of fics like this, but anyway.

Brittany tried to hug Santana but she pushed her away. Santana couldn't take the rejection, she'd never been rejected before. She turned and walked away until she turned the corner, then she ran. She ran out of the school, through the parking lot and away from McKinley. 'How could she?' was the only thing echoing in her head. 'How could she make me open up like that just to shut me down?'

Santana ran until she saw a creek, she picked up the biggest rock she could find and pegged it into the water, she didn't care when the splash caused her clothes got wet and she didn't care about them getting dirty when she sat down in the dirt with her head in her hands.

Santana Lopez was vicious. Santana Lopez was tough. Santana Lopez wasn't the little girl that sits in the dirt and cries next to a creek. She is the one that laughs at that little girl for being so pathetic. She could see Rachel Berry doing this, not her.

People wondered why she didn't let her feelings out. Why she hid behind her snide remarks and bitchy comments. This is why. Because deep down, she always knew that opening up would just end with her getting hurt.

Nights were always the worst. Santana had always had trouble sleeping, ever since she could remember. There was this insomnia that usually kept her up into the early hours of the morning. It was one of the reasons she started partying and drinking and having sex. Because with all that alcohol in her system, it was easier to get to sleep.

Her bitchiness and anger originally came from lack of sleep. She was grumpy because she was tired. Her lack of sleep was making her unfocused and sloppy in her cheerleading. She knew that if she was able to get some more sleep, she'd be the one on top of the pyramid, not Quinn Fabray. Not that she had to worry about cheerleading anymore. She had to quit the team, she couldn't let Coach Sylvester think she could just go and risk Brittany's life without consequences. Anyway, she wasn't a Cheerio now, now she was just a Gleek.

Her message tone sounded, she turned over and picked up her cell, hoping that it was Brittany saying she'd changed her mind. It was from Sam, still up?He had asked. She didn't reply, she just threw her cell across the room, causing a loud bang as it landed in several pieces. Okay, she knew it wasn't going to be Brittany, since she hadn't really mastered the art of texting yet, but still, she couldn't help being disappointed.

Her mind flew back to when Brittany had asked to do a duet with her and she shot her down, telling her she didn't love her, she was just using her while Puck was in juvie. If she could go back to to that moment, as a third person in the room, she would punch herself in the mouth. If she wasn't so stupid then, maybe she wouldn't be feeling so worthless now.

With hardly any sleep, Santana got out of bed and put on her sexiest dress, the short, low cut one that made her ass look awesome. She spent an hour doing her hair and makeup.

Even though she felt like a mess, she definitely wasn't going to look like one.

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