A/N: Ok, end of the countless OneShots. But NO end to the Spiritshipping angst! I'm officially making this into something more than an OneShot XD I was thinking of combining them all into one, but there's no use in it. I'll just continue it from here. So, I'll try to make every chapter a songfic, but I'm not so sure I'd be able to find appropriate songs for each one... Also I'm still not sure I have enough ideas to make it into a story, but I'll try. Only today I got enough ideas for the first couple of chapters. So, here it is.
And, another thing – please, forgive my lousy try at writing down the Australian accent x.x It's my first try at it and I hope I won't fail at it too badly... Gotta warn you, there'll be a lot of it x) But the story is still Spiritshipping, don't worry :P I just like Jim as a character and he'd have some role in it from time to time.
This A/N has become longer than needed. So, one last thing: Most of the story /probably not all of it, but still/ will be Jesse POV. Please read and review. Enjoy.
Choices and Decisions
It was
one of those great stories that you can't put down at night
The
hero knew what he had to do and he wasn't afraid to fight
The
villain goes to jail while the hero goes free
I wish it were that
simple for me
I look at the room one more time. All right, all of my things are here. I haven't left anything behind. Nothing at all. I had a lot of time last night to check the dormitory a few times. I'm certain everything is here.
Damn, I hope the ship will leave already. Sure, it might have sounded easy at first, but now...
I don't know what I'd do if I saw you again, Jaden. I don't want to leave you and I want you to know that. I need you to know that. But I can't tell you. I can't make everything worse. It's hard enough for both of us as it is.
Yet I'm not sure weather I'd be able to stand it if I saw you one more time. I managed to avoid you since that time we went to the principle... And I have the feeling you've been looking for me.
I don't want to leave you behind. I can't leave you behind. But that's exactly why I have to.
For you chose Yubel. Not me. You have the right to chose, you made your decision. And I have to respect that decision if I love you at least a little.
And I love you much more that 'at least a little'.
And
the reason that she loved him
Was the reason I loved him too
And
he never wondered what was right or wrong
He just knew, he just
knew
I move a hand trough my hair as I step out of my personal room on the ship and go out and to the stairs that now connects the vessel to the ground. Everyone is there. All of them from Jim and Axel whose luggage is still with them, to Alexis, Atticus, Syrus, Hassleberry and even Chazz and Zane.
All of them came to see us off, eh? I shouldn't be surprised. But I can't help but wonder...
Why aren't you here?
Though it's better this way. Much better. I won't break, I'm won't do something stupid...
If you're not around, I won't have the chance. I'm glad you're not here, actually. I wouldn't have been able to tell you goodbye if you were. I know I wouldn't have.
Shadow
and shade mix together at dawn
But by the time you catch them
simplicity's gone
So we sort through the pieces my friends and
I
Searching through the darkness to find the breaks in the sky
"What'cha doin' up there, mate?" I blink at Jim's voice. Everybody's looking at me and it seams really strange. "Ya wanna go home that badly?"
"Ah, no, not at all!" It's not that hard to smile when it's only for them. It's not that hard to be casual. It's not that hard to fool them.
Not as hard as it is with you.
I quickly go down the stairs to them all and the next few minutes go by in a haze. It's almost like I've switched my body on autopilot as none of the kind 'goodbye's we share really register to me.
But I'm glad that they keep buying it – all of the kind word and warm smiles with no meaning behind them...
Still, I know you wouldn't have.
And the
reason that she loved him
Was the reason I loved him too
And he
never wondered what was right or wrong
He just knew, he just knew
"Hay, am I late?"
They all turn at the voice and I can feel my heart bang against my chest.
How am I going to get trough this? All it takes to ruin my hopes of leaving this place without any problems is seen your face.
Why did you have to come? It would have been so much easier. For you, for me, for both of us. You know that. You know it too well.
For the shortest seconds our eyes meet and I feel the breath die in my throat.
Why? Why must it be so hard to even be around you? Aren't we just friends? Aren't we supposed to be just friends?
Why can't I forget about this? Why can't I even pretend I've forgotten?
And
we wonder yes, we wonder
How do you make sense of this
When the
hero kills the maiden
With his kiss, with his kiss
I can't help it any longer. I don't care if anyone sees it, I don't care if it'll ruin me later. I just can't help it.
There's some kind of commotion around, but it doesn't register. You're all that I can see and hear and my feet start moving on their own.
I grab your hand and start dragging you after me.
Oh, I'm so going to regret this later... But it's too late now. The others are gone behind the trees and it's only you and me.
And nothing can stop me anymore.
"Jes-"
I don't even let you finish as I swing on my heels, cup your face with both hands and...
And I kiss you.
I've never imagined what a light, soft touch of lips could do to me. I can feel my blood, my body and my entire existence burn with desire and passion.
And as you answer my kiss, it gets even worse. Like a fever, like the effect of a drug, it spreads over my entire body and nothing matters any more.
And then, just when I think I've got it all...
You pull away.
Well,
it was one of those great stories that you can't put down at
night
The hero knew what he had to do and he wasn't afraid to
fight
The villain goes to jail while the hero goes free
I wish
it were that simple for me
"Jess-"
"I love you."
I won't let you say anything. I can't let you say my name – every time you do, it makes things worse. It makes it harder. To just be next to you, to even think about you.
I feel like I'm in a daze of some sort. Everything around seams so... unreal. I'm on the edge of breaking down and you're the treat that's holding me in one piece.
"I'm sorry."
It's all you have to say to tear my world apart. My heart shatters into millions of millions of pieces before my very eyes as the tears finally start to run down freely.
My hands move down an I clench handfuls of your jacket, burying my head in it. I can't stand the sight of your face. I can't stand the heat that radiates from you. It's too much. Even being close to you... It's too much.
I push you back a little as I suddenly turn and my control over my body is back.
I run as fast as I can with the single thought of getting away from you crossing my head.
Because I can't be around you. I can't allow myself to do something like that again. You don't need me any more, you made your choice.
So who am I to stay in your way?
Were that simple for me