Hey guys. No, I'm not dead. No, I'm not stopping A New Perspective. I'm just doing something new, I will be updating A New Perspective. Eventually. Anyway, here's probably one of the weirder stories you'll read! Enjoy!
Driving down the short road to my workplace, all was normal. I paused at the security hut, where Paul was standing, as usual. He set down his magazine and opened his small window to stop me.
"Hello, sir. Big day today?"
"Boy, I hope so. We should be throwing the big switch today!"
"I hope it all goes will. Just lemme put you through." The small security blocker raised skyward and I drove my car through, waving at Paul, who opened his magazine again, oblivious to the fantastic feats going on below his feet.
I pulled into my personal parking space in front of the massive building, the white paint blinding in the bright sunlight. Or maybe it was because I was so used to being inside. I've become a real troglodyte these days. But, it's worth it. Our experiment is almost done! Something I've been waiting for a long time now.
I opened the door of my corporate car, and slammed the squeaky joints shut. Cutbacks in spending suck. I walked to the front door of the complex, waving my security pass in front of the scanner, the panel beeping and opening the door for me. Halfway. Sighing, I readjusted my glasses, shoved the doors open the rest of the way and walked into the air-conditioned hallway. Cutbacks suck.
I passed Cindy at her secretary desk, filing her nails as usual. Sure, she's cute, but that's about it. No brains. The lights are on, and nobody's home. And, sometimes, the lights aren't even on.
"Hello sir! How are you this fine day?" Boy, she can be annoying.
"I'm fine, thanks. Our project is almost done!
"Oh, the one with that new door opening thingy? I can't wait for it to be done!" I couldn't say anything to that, so I simply walked away, sighing. Some people are just born stupid. That 'door opening thingy' was completed months ago, she had been using it every time she want to the bathroom, for God's sake!
I turned the corner, looking down the ridiculously long staircase with another sigh. Cutbacks. SUCK. I began my decent into the bowls of the science department, feeling better with each step I took past the stark white hallways. This was where I belonged. Down here, amid the smell of chemicals and brains the size of an engine block. Forget those meat-heads in high school, I'd like to compare their Jack In The Box paychecks with mine, cutbacks and all!
I finally emerge at the bottom, slightly winded at the long climb down. I should start exercising more. I passed Janet, who was furiously trying to get her papers off the floor and back into their folder. She was an intern, brown hair, brown eyes, curves all over.
"Here, let me help you out there, Janet."
"OH! Oh, Mr. Dancer, you startled me!"
"Please, call me Harry. Formalities make me uncomfortable." As I helped her with her papers, she started coughing with a deep blush. "What?"
"Your name is…Harry Dancer?"
Yes. Yes it is. Just yuck it up now, and then we can get in on our lives."
"Oh, I'm so sorry! That was so rude of me! It's just, sometimes I can't stop myself from saying something, and then I get flustered, and I start talking about anything to distract you from what I said, and then I can't think of anything else to say so…" I blinked a couple of times, confused.
"That was the longest any woman has spoken to me."
"Oh? Really? I don't see why. I mean, I can, sort of. Most women aren't into the geeky scientists. OH! Not that you're geeky, Harry! I just meant that a lot of girls like the guys with big arms, who end up working at Taco Bell, or something…"
"Jack In The Box…" I mutter under my breath.
"Excuse me?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing. Well, your papers are all in order it seems. I better get to my station."
"Oh, yes. Alright. See you later?"
"Sure." I walked away then, my brain throbbing. Women do that to me sometimes. I passed a few other science team members, all of them so focused on their work that they wouldn't have noticed if they walked into a bear, got eaten, and then shot out of the bear's backside. I've got to stop listening to Glen Beck. Bad for my analogies.
I finally reached one of the few elevators in this massive complex, riding the large box down even further into the Earth. We finally get an elevator big enough to fit half the science division in, and I'm all alone. Well, at least they're playing 'Space Odyssey.' Good song.
The elevator dinged open, letting me out into the science division. Full of labs, chemicals, and my fellow nerds. I walked out, a smile on my face, and entered the third lab from the left. Artificial Intelligence Research. There stood James Corner, my friend from high school, Karl McClain, a fellow scientist working on the project, and Janet, to my surprise.
"Janet? You're on the AIR force?"
"Yep! That's what I majored in college for five years! Artificial intelligence!"
"How'd you get down here so fast?"
"I took the stairs. They exit closer, and they don't stop at every level." Huh. Maybe that's how she stayed fit. Karl stepped forward, revealing the small computer screen, filled with number and keys for our project.
"We are almost complete with the Generic Life and Disk Operating System. All we need are the access codes you have, and we can bring it to life."
"Of course. Just let me put them in and bring her to life!" I threw on my stained and old lab coat, sat at the small desk, in the small chair, in front of the small computer and began typing on the small keyboard. Cutbacks really suck. Entering the access codes from memory into the computer, I hit enter and sighed. Everyone looked intently at the computer screen while the codes loaded. Slowly. I decided to take the time to reflect on my skills as a scientist. More specifically, my photographic memory. Some boast about their good memory, saying that it's photographic. They're lying. I'm the one with the photographic memory. I remember everything I see, even if it's just for a moment. I remember where every test tube is, where each coffee stain on James' lab coat was, each number that flashed by on the computer screen that was in front of me.
There was a single beep from the computer, shattering the tense silence, and sending me to the floor in a panicked spasm and a small yelp. Janet helped me up while James and Karl, used to my eccentricity, leaned closer to the computer. The numbers and codes on the screen began swirling, condensing into a single shape on the screen. A bright, robotic eye looked forward, glowing a calming red, focusing in on us.
"Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. I am the Generic Life and Disk Operating System. You may call me GLaDOS.
Dun dun duuuun! She's alive! What will happen next? Stay tuned, another update soon! …Or maybe not! Keep reading to find out!