Theo stood, frozen in place, as his eyes slid from the Doctors to Malia.
"Chose, Theo," Malia snarled. "You can't hide and play both sides anymore. Chose." Her coyote blue eyes were shining.
Stiles's words resounded in his head. Maybe the eyes only change if you feel guilty.
"Theo." Her voice pulled his eyes to her and the sight of her, standing with her friends, her clothes torn, her eyes searching and angry, pulled at the heart that he hadn't known he had. "I know you're better than this."
Behind her, Stiles's eyes plainly said I knew you weren't and he was leaning on Scott from the bleeding wound on his leg. Scott was watching him with anger and hurt. Kira and Lydia were standing by Malia, giving him twin glares that clearly said that if he made a move for Malia they'd be on him.
I know you're better than this.
Am I?
He stared at her and thought back.
Theo sat down beside her at the library table, watching her study. He noticed that her heart jumped slightly as he sat down but other than that, she gave no notice of him. Her eyes were fixed on the work in front of her, moving across it as her finger slid below the words she was reading.
"How are you holding up? I heard about you and-"
"Believe it or not, I don't care to talk about my ex-boyfriend with you." The word slipped through her lips with just an ounce of bitterness, but that slight amount was enough to tell him that he had the advantage here, he had the playbook and he was going to put it to use.
"You must want to talk to someone."
"If I feel the sudden and ridiculous urge to cry into a carton of ice cream, I'll be calling Lydia and Kira, not you," she snapped at him without looking up.
"Why would you call Lydia? We both can smell it on him, Malia; those pesky feelings that just never quite-"
Her eyes suddenly snapped to him, blazing with the fire that he had grown to respect in her. "What do you want?" she growled and then her eyes flickered, the bright blue slipping out for a moment.
"Careful. Better hide that coyote. The librarian wouldn't care for it like I do."
Malia's eyes returned to brown and she gave him a hard look before turning back to her homework. "I have work to do, Theo."
He drummed his fingers on the table. "I just wanted to say that he's an idiot. If I were Stiles-"
"You're nothing like Stiles."
"Is that such a bad thing?"
He watched Malia fall quiet, as he was sure a million thoughts raced through her head.
"Listen," he said quietly, leaning forward. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I like Stiles but I think he messed up. And if you need to talk…"
"I'm fine."
"But if you want to talk," he reiterated. "I've got a pair of ears that love to listen and also have werewolf hearing. What a handy coincidence." He could have sworn that her lips tugged for just a moment. "I'll let you study. But." He scribbled his number on her forearm and stood. "So you won't lose it." Theo stood and walked out of the library, already planning his next move.
Theo sat in his car, listening to the radio and watching the doors of the school. She hadn't left yet. He checked his phone. Nothing. That was fine. She'd come around to him. He was the only one she'd been confiding in recently. He was the one she'd come to.
The doors opened and Malia walked out, short hair bouncing on her shoulders. She hesitated for a moment, standing on the steps. Her fingers played with the hem of her camo shorts as her dark, sad eyes made their way across the empty parking lot.
Theo knew what she had to be thinking. She was wondering what to do and where to go. Stiles had been her ride, where she had dinner, where she did her homework- at least some of the time, if not most. It must have been hitting her that that comfort zone was no longer available to her.
Whether he wanted to admit it or not, his heart went out to her. Well, not his heart. Theo was well aware of the fact that he didn't really have one and that he had sold his soul to the devil a long time ago. But he felt empathetic, only he didn't completely understand why.
He rolled down the window and stuck his hand out. "Malia."
Her eyes shot to him and she hesitated briefly before adjusting the strap of her backpack and walking to his car. She opened the passenger door and then shut it as she landed on the seat.
She was quiet, looking at her ratty converse on his floorboard.
"Malia," he said gently, "listen, I'm so-"
He never finished his sentence. Because Malia did something that his plan hadn't involved but that certainly didn't hurt anything. She reached over, grabbed his face in her hands, and kissed him. He kissed her back without even hesitating. It was something that he had been wanting to do for a long time, something that he had been thinking about, yearning for, anytime they were within five feet of each other.
Seconds stretched into minutes which then passed like pieces of leaves in the wind. And when Malia pulled away, it seemed like too soon. It hadn't been long enough and his body still needed more. His eyes sought hers for an explanation but they gave none.
After what seemed like years but could only have been seconds- a minute, tops-, Malia whispered, "I don't want to talk. I don't want to think."
"You don't ha-" But it seemed like in this car, in this moment, with her, he couldn't finish any of his sentences. Because her shirt came off and flew into the backseat and he didn't need to finish. That was good because he didn't want to finish, probably couldn't finish.
A smarter man would have stopped to wonder why she had this hold over him, why for the first time in a long time he wasn't thinking about the plan, about self-preservation. Sure, this wouldn't hurt the plan but that was an afterthought. He wasn't thinking about anything involving the plan right then.
Later, Theo would have wished that he were a smarter man.
Instead, he pulled his own shirt off and met her halfway in another kiss that was hungrier, more desperate. It was as if they both needed air that only the other one could supply. His arms wrapped tightly around her and he pulled them both into his backseat.
It was the first time that Theo could remember allowing himself to get swept into a moment.
It was definitely the most important time that he would ever do it.
"I'm only using you." Malia told him as her hands reached to her back to clip her bra.
"That's fine by me." You have no idea. He eyed her as she groaned with effort, blew a piece of hair out of her face. "Bras seem complicated."
"You seem to have no trouble getting them off."
"That's different." He reached over and shooed her hands away, clipping it for her. "How do girls do this without looking?"
"I could have gotten it," Malia snipped, yanking her shirt over her head.
"I'm sure."
"Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"That tone, talking to me like I'm a child." She pursed her lips, hesitating as she lifted her shorts. "Patronizing!" she exclaimed after a moment.
Theo couldn't stop himself from giving a small smile. "I wouldn't dream of it."
She gave him a dirty look, as if she thought he was mocking her.
"I mean it. I'm not like the others, Malia."
"Stiles doesn't trust you."
"I know." Theo pulled his belt through his belt loops. "But if you had a reason not to trust me, wouldn't you know that I'm no good by now? I mean, couldn't you smell it? Or hear it in my heartbeat? You'd catch one of the lies."
"You could just be good at it."
"I suppose so. But you don't think I am."
She eyed him. "What makes you so sure?"
He didn't reply, instead pulling his shirt over his head. He heard her give a huff of annoyance at his refusal to answer and when he looked back at her, she was lacing her shoes.
"See you around. And I won't be back," she said, putting her hand on the handle.
"Don't you want a ride?" he asked, lifting his eyebrows. "Is there really any harm in using me for a couple more minutes?"
Malia hesitated, clearly tempted, but shook her head and climbed out. "No thanks."
"That's a shame. I don't really feel like driving."
She eyed him again.
"You could drive."
"Only for the practice," she told him, moving to the driver's side.
Theo climbed into the passenger's seat. "Of course."
Even with Malia's assurances that she wouldn't be back, Theo had known it was a lie- just like he knew she had. She was back in his car a couple of days later, which was far too long for his tastes.
He didn't want to admit how much he liked the feel of her skin, the way her eyes would shine with hunger, or, even better, the way that if he kissed just the right spot on her neck her eyes would glow blue. He also didn't want to admit that he liked the way that she tasted- every inch of her- and that kissing her was just as pleasing as anything else. If he didn't want to admit that, he sure as hell wasn't going to admit that he already felt addicted.
But he did.
It started happening more and more often, until, finally, he couldn't even wait that long. He watched her move with Lydia and Kira towards class and then hang back, saying that she forgot her book and would meet them. The moment the other two were gone from sight, Theo was pulling her into Coach's office, his mouth pressing hard against hers. Malia jumped up, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist as he shoved her against the wall.
When they were finished and she was dressed once more and moving towards the door, she smirked at him. "By the way, I really did forget my book."
Theo leaned against the desk as if he'd been punched in the gut as she left. It was then, standing in Coach's office, that he first suspected that he might be in trouble. He'd initiated this, he'd sought her out.
It's only physical, he told himself. Besides. We can use this. It's better than the original plan. It keeps her close, keeps her trusting me, keeps me involved with the pack.
But somewhere in him, he knew that he wasn't doing this for the plan.
Theo lay across his back seat, chest heaving. "Don't worry," he said breathily. "I know you're only here for the practice."
Malia's eyebrows raised as she looked at him. They looked each other dead in the eyes with serious faces for a couple of minutes until they both dissolved into laughter. She dropped her head onto his chest and his arms laced around her waist.
"Driving," he choked out through the laughter. "I meant driving."
"Sure." She grinned at him. "You just wish it was for something else."
He grinned and rolled onto his side, pinning her to the seat. "I know it is."
"Maybe that's just extra."
"The driving's just extra."
"I'll believe that when this happens away from school." She smirked confidently and brushed her lips across his jaw.
Theo closed his eyes. "Hmm… I suppose that's fair…" He pressed his lips to her neck, a spot where he could be sure to get his favorite reaction, which he did. Her eyes glowed through the darkness. "I could teach you," he whispered into her skin, running his fingertips up and down her thigh.
"Teach me?" she whispered.
"How to change back. To your other form."
"Scott taught me to control my shift."
"I'm not talking about controlling your shift." Theo looked her in the eyes and watched as a look of realization washed over her.
"You could?"
"I could."
"And you would?" she asked suspiciously.
"I would." He traced his fingertips to her knee, watching her for her reaction.
Her heartbeat increased, she now smelled of longing and desire and something even stronger- hope. "Okay."
"Anything?"
"Not yet."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, you're talking so obviously you're human." Theo sat on his trunk, eyebrows raised as he watched her.
Malia's eyes snapped open and she glared at him. "I don't need your snark. I'm focusing as hard as I can. I can only think about an anchor so hard."
"That's the problem." Theo leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "Don't think about your anchor. Your anchor keeps you in control."
"That's the point."
"No, that's my point. Malia, to change shape completely, you're giving into the animal. The point is to be in control without being in control."
"How do you do that?" She was frustrated, that much was obvious.
"That's the question isn't it?"
"You can do it."
"I can. But it's hard to explain. It's a balance you have to find."
"Then what are we doing here?" she growled.
"Practicing." At the word, Malia couldn't stop the reluctant smile from spreading across her face.
It was the most beautiful thing Theo Raeken had ever seen.
"You're getting better."
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not. You're driving really well."
Malia threw him a doubting look as she pulled into her driveway. "Hardly."
Theo gave her a small smile. "Malia Hale. You just did that without even looking. And it was perfect."
Her face was blank. "Yeah. Thanks." She threw the car into park and got out. "See you." She slammed the door shut and started for the door.
"Malia?" He blinked after her. "Malia!" He got out and jogged after her, marveling at the sudden mood change. "Are you okay?"
"Peachy." She opened the door. "I'll see you tomorrow. Go on home."
"Maybe I don't want to go home."
"Well, I don't want you here so you'll have to figure something out." She unlocked the door and walked inside.
"Where's your dad?" Theo followed her.
"Oh, Henry Tate? Work."
Theo eyed her. "Do you always say your dad's name like that?"
"My mistake. I'm just having trouble keeping track of who's supposed to be my dad. Hale or Tate."
"Malia, I don't-"
"Then think real hard and get out."
Suddenly it hit him like a brick. "I'm an idiot. Malia, I'm sorry."
"I don't care. Just go."
"I didn't mean to call you Hale."
She rolled her eyes and started up the stairs. "It's who I am. A Hale."
"It's not who you are." Theo followed her up the stairs. "Malia."
"What?" She spun around at the top of the stairs to glare at him. "Are you ever going to get the hint? Just go! I don't want you here! It's not because I want an apology or even because I think you wronged me. I just don't want you here. I don't like you Theo. I just use you as a distraction."
"Practice," he whispered.
"What?"
"You use me as practice."
She stared at him. "How is that any better?" When he didn't reply, she threw her hands in the air. "Fine! I use you as practice! Whatever! Just go!"
"No."
"Fu-"
"Just wait. Before you curse me out, let me have my say. And if you still want me gone I'll go."
She watched him for a second before heaving a sigh and walking into her room. She didn't shut the door so he assumed that was permission to stay. He walked after her and slowly shut her door behind him.
"You're not a Hale," he said. She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak. Theo held up his hand. "Hold it. I'm not done. Hale is what you are."
She stared at him. "That makes me feel so much better," she said dryly. "Now if you're done-"
"But it's not who you are. You're a Tate because you chose to be a Tate. You're not a Hale, you're a Tate. You were born a Hale and you became something else. So, by my reasoning, Hale is what you are, but Tate is who you are."
They fell into silence.
Malia stared at him for several heartbeats (Theo knew; he was counting hers in the silence). Then she rose to her feet and crossed the room to him. Her arms went across his neck as if it was the most natural thing in the world and her lips found his, gently pressing into him. He pulled her closer, his lips deepening the kiss between them.
It was a different kiss for them.
Instead of being as passionate and fiery as the worst war between the Trojans and the Spartans, it was as soft and gentle, yet still passionate, as the waves after a rain.
Malia's arms went up and Theo found the hem of her shirt, breaking the kiss for only the moment that it took to get her shirt over her head. She backed up to the bed and he gently eased them onto it. Her hands found his shirt and tugged it over his head. It landed somewhere, but he didn't care where. It could have burned in a fire for all he cared. He didn't need it in this moment, and this moment was not only all that mattered, it was all that would ever matter.
Malia led the way down the stairs, laughing, her hand sliding down the railing. Theo couldn't help but think that it was like an entrance scene in a movie. The thought made him smile. She was beautiful, perfect in every way.
He felt his eyes widen slightly and tried too shake the thought away. No one was perfect. Everyone was flawed, foul, dirty. That had to include Malia. But somehow it didn't, not even close.
"Malia? Who's here?" Mr. Tate looked up from the couch, beer in hand. His eyes widened when he saw Theo. "Oh. I was expecting Kira or Lydia."
Malia bit her lip and glanced at Theo, who was thinking (once again) that she had never looked sexier. "Oh. This is Theo. He was helping me with Trig."
"Ah." Mr. Tate eyed him and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you."
"You too." Theo shook it. What surprised him was that he meant it.
"Shoot. Your jacket. I'll be right back." Malia jogged up the steps.
"You have a great daughter," Theo said. He hadn't planned on saying that or anything at all; it had just slipped out.
"And you better not hurt her. You understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"She's been hurt enough, that girl."
"Yes, sir."
"Can I trust you not to hurt her?"
"Yes, sir." Theo glanced at the stairs. "I can feel my phone going off in my pocket. My dad's probably freaking out so just tell Malia that I'll get my jacket tomorrow." He went out the door before waiting for a response.
He couldn't stand the idea that Malia would smell the sadness off of him.
Because he had just made a promise that he knew he would break. She would find out that he wasn't who he said he was.
Best case scenario that would be the only thing he would do to hurt her.
Worst case scenario he would get her killed. Or be forced to do it himself.
As Theo raced across town, there was only one thought in his mind. She knows. Malia knows.
He leaped into her bedroom window and his heart plummeted. It was empty. He slowly lowered himself onto her bed and dropped his head into his hands. He was going to lose her.
But you never had her.
The door opened and the light flickered on.
"I knew you'd be here."
Theo couldn't bring himself to respond so he just raised his eyes to meet hers. Malia's brown eyes were shining with anger, hurt, and tears that were probably a mix of both.
"I stood up for you."
"I know."
"Do you? Do you have any idea how much tension I caused with Scott and Stiles because I kept helping Scott in the fight for you?"
Theo couldn't look at her anymore as he stood. "Yes. That was the plan."
"The plan. The plan?! I was part of a plan?"
He couldn't reply.
Malia stared at him. "Of course I was. You played me the whole time."
"Not completely." He felt defeated, half dead. He had been looking forward to the reveal- until she happened. Now he felt empty.
"Oh?" She sneered at him. "Not completely? Is that why I still can't shift completely?"
"That had nothing to do with it. I really was trying to teach you."
"So were you hoping I'd join you?"
"I knew you wouldn't." His voice sounded flat even to him. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened to him, what had turned him into this sad excuse for a man. He sure as hell wasn't one of the good guys but he wasn't that good of a bad one anymore either.
"I don't want to be with the bad guys."
"I know."
"Say something!" she screamed. Her eyes were brimmed with tears. She grabbed handfuls of her hair in frustration. "Smirk, make a nasty comment! Say something!"
"Why? It won't make it easier."
"You have to convince me this was a lie! Show me how much of an idiot I was! Spell it out for me!" She hit him in the chest. "You owe me! Just do it!"
Theo looked away. "I can't. Don't you get it?"
"Get what?!"
He forced himself to meet her brown eyes. "This," he said simply. "This is what I meant. This is what you need to change back to a coyote."
"How? How would this possibly help me?" She glared at him, her eyes shining with a fire that broke his heart because he knew she was hurt.
"You were in control," he whispered. "Without being in control. I was in control because I had the plan but I was out of control because I fell in-"
"No. Theo, no. Please, I don't want to hear it!"
But he couldn't stop. "Because I fell in love with you."
Malia jerked her face away, towards the ground. "Then maybe I should turn and get far away from here. From you."
"You should." Hope sparked in his chest for the first time. He stepped forward. "Do it."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I'm not ruled by self-preservation."
Theo felt like he'd been slapped in the face. "Right. Of course."
"I believed in you. I trusted you. And I was only for practice."
For the second time, he felt as if he'd been slapped. "Malia..."
"No! I stood up for you. I fought for you. I… I-"
"It's okay," he said. "I wouldn't be able to say it to me either." He went to her window and looked at her. "I just had to see you." Her eyes were filled with unshed tears again. Unable to look at her pain anymore, the pain that he had caused, Theo left.
I know you're better than this.
Theo stared at Malia, feeling more lost than he ever had in his life. She stared back at him. "Theo," she whispered. Just the sound of his name on her lips brought him to life in a way that nothing ever had before. "I love you."
The words hit him in the chest with the force of a mighty tidal wave. They were the words that he had thought he would never hear, that he had once thought he never wanted to hear, that he used to think that he didn't need to hear. He was wrong on all counts. The only thing that he had ever been right about was that they were words that he didn't deserve to hear.
"I believe in you." Malia's voice cracked. "And I trust you."
Theo stared at her then at the doctors.
One thing was clear.
It was time to lunge.
Only for practice.
I really did forget my books.
Maybe that's just extra.
It's who I am. A Hale.
You're better than this.
I love you.
I believe in you.
I trust you.
It was time to choose.
And so Theo lunged.